Chapter 23
Selena
“Are you ready?” Winter asked, pausing outside the bar.
No. Not at all.
I froze just outside the door. Damn this fight-or-flight response that I couldn’t seem to shake. I’d rather be angry, to shout and scream, than freeze. Unfortunately, I had no say over what my body chose to do.
Breathe, heathen. Breathe now. For some reason, it was Brody’s authoritative voice speaking inside my head. Maybe because his voice and bossiness annoyed me, they worked to break that paralysis that crept over me whenever I encountered situations I didn’t feel in control of.
“Yes,” I said slowly and rolled my shoulders back. “Let’s do this. But remember… if it’s going badly, you get us out of there, or I’ll just get up and walk out.”
“I know, I know. Don’t worry. I’ll be the first to call it quits if it sucks.”
“Good.”
I took a deep breath and followed Winter into the bar.
It wasn’t that busy, but it was still early.
It was a very Winter kind of place to pick for a date, in that it had a high-end feel but down-to-earth vibes somehow. As soon as we walked in, I spotted Asher as he stood beside a booth. The guy he was with stood, too, and gave a small wave in our direction.
My stomach suddenly lurched. God, I didn’t want to do this.
I didn’t want to make awkward conversation with some guy I wasn’t interested in and force my friends to laugh along at lame jokes and waste their evenings, just to babysit me.
I couldn’t imagine anything worse. But Winter was already taking my hand in hers and tugging me forward.
“Sorry we’re late,” she said, kissing her boyfriend on the cheek.
“You’re always worth the wait, Ice Queen,” Asher murmured, his eyes locked on hers. Then he turned to me and smiled, inclining his head in greeting.
“Selena, this is Nick, fellow left winger on the team.”
Nick smiled broadly at me and stuck out his hand. “Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you.”
I took his hand a little too slowly.
“Finally?” I said and shook his hand with a limp grip.
“Yeah, well, I mean, I’ve seen you around for a while, just didn’t get up the courage to talk to you.”
“Oh.” I dropped his hand. The awkwardness remained despite the introductions.
We sat, menus passed around. Winter and Asher worked to fill the silence, and I studied Nick.
He was blond and clean-cut in a square-jaw, cartoon-hero kind of way.
He had a quick smile, but from first impressions, he seemed surface deep.
I wished I could see deeper. People seldom showed their real selves at a first meeting.
In fact, of all the guys I’d met recently, only Brody and Cal had been wholly themselves, from the very first moment.
Why was I even thinking of Brody right now?
I shoved him from my head.
Nick leaned forward slightly, elbows on the table.
“So, what brought you back to HHU?” he asked.
He gave me a broad smile which I’d done nothing to earn. It made him less trustworthy.
“Family stuff,” I said. Technically, it was true, and I wasn’t about to go into my life story in the first five minutes of meeting him.
Before he could ask anything else, a waitress appeared and took our drink orders.
I deliberated ordering a drink, just like the guys were. A nice cold beer that would take the edge of my nerves. It would hit the spot.
But you’ve already lasted a whole week without one. You’re really exceptional at things when you get out of your own way. Brody’s damn unwanted praise from yesterday repeated in my head. Fuck him. I’d have a drink if I wanted. He just got off on playing mind games.
Aware the waitress was waiting, I ordered a soda.
Nick raised an eyebrow. “You’re not drinking?”
“No, not tonight.”
He nodded like that was interesting information, and I tried not to feel like Brody had just won.
“So, you’re a hockey player.” My attempt to initiate conversation was pitiful. “What’s that like?”
“Brutal.” Nick laughed. “But we have fun.”
Thankfully, he launched into a story about Coach Williams and Asher, and I just had to listen and nod along.
He had been going for a good five minutes when Winter nudged me.
“Look who just showed up,” she whispered.
I followed her nod toward the front of the bar.
Marcus walked in, deep in conversation with someone else.
Brody.
My heart leapt, suddenly beating fast.
What the hell?
Half an hour later, I’d lost all ability to concentrate on Nick and his hockey stories.
Our food came, and I ate, listening along to the conversation and trying not to glance at Brody.
I could feel his attention on me. From the moment when he’d realized it was us, to now, I knew that if I looked over, I’d find him scowling at me, like usual.
We finished eating, and I sent away a half-full plate. Nick disappeared to take a call. Winter moved to sit beside Asher while he was gone, and the two of them grilled me on how I’d liked the date so far.
When Nick came back, he slid into the booth beside me instead of waiting for Winter to retake her seat.
He moved until his arm was around my shoulders.
I stiffened, fenced in with nowhere to go.
Winter widened her eyes at me, and I knew she was silently asking me if I was okay with Nick’s forwardness.
Sure, I’d kissed guys and messed around a little since everything had happened, but that had been my choice. My way to control a situation.
My heart beat a little harder, shortening my breath. Was I going to have a panic attack right here and now? No, I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let everyone see me so… weak.
“Wow, I suppose it’s true. This is the place to be.” A deep, low English drawl.
I swallowed my rising panic, suddenly calmer.
Brody stood at the end of the booth, looming over Nick.
“I saw you guys come in. Was this your pick, or Marcus’?” Asher wondered.
“Marcus. He was very insistent.” His gaze ran around us all and lingered on me. “How’s the double date going?”
“Fine, thanks,” I said when it became clear he was waiting for me to answer.
“Just fine?” He raised an eyebrow at Nick. “Sounds like you need to step up your game, Preston.”
Nick chuckled. Preston? Why did that name sound so familiar?
Nick’s arm tightened around my shoulders. “Don’t worry about me and my date, Sinclair. We’re having a great time, and I’m sure we’re only getting started tonight.”
I pulled a quick face, one Nick didn’t catch, but Winter did, and she hid her smile behind her hand. We both knew there’d be no continuation of this night beyond dinner, but Nick hadn’t realized that yet.
Brody leaned on the booth. “Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. It’s getting late. It’ll be after some people’s curfew soon.”
“Curfew? Who the fuck are you talking about having a curfew?” Nick laughed.
Brody glanced at me, and heat burned in my cheeks. He wasn’t about to out our weird little battle of wills to everyone, was he? Tell my friends the embarrassing rules he’d decided to impose on me so I’d be good enough, and less fucked-up enough not to embarrass the Sinclair family name?
I shot to my feet, sending Nick’s arm flying.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” I asked Brody.
He straightened up and nodded to me. “Anytime, cheer captain.” He leaned even more against the side of the booth, making himself comfortable. “What do you want to talk about?”
“In private. Can I talk to you in private?” I clarified.
I waited until Nick got out of the booth and followed, grabbing Brody by the arm and tugging him toward the corridor that led to the bathrooms.
“Is everything okay?” Nick asked behind us.
“Everything is fine! Be right back!”
I turned the corner, Brody hot on my heels.
“You want to leave, don’t you? But you don’t want to make a scene? Don’t worry, I’ll do it for you,” Brody was saying.
I pulled him down the hall and then dropped his arm.
I turned around and fixed him with a glare.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
Brody snorted. “Meeting Marcus. What did it look like?”
“Was this seriously Marcus’ idea? You haven’t put a tracker somewhere on me?” I asked, suspicious as hell.
Brody considered my words, tipping his head to the side. “No, but damn, that’s a good idea.”
“Don’t even think about it,” I warned him.
He shrugged. “Stop going out with losers. It’s beneath you.”
I scoffed, my face getting hot again, but it didn’t feel like anger or embarrassment.
“Right, like I’m such a catch—don’t answer that.” I held a finger up to stop him from speaking. “You need to go; you’re making it awkward.”
“That bastard makes himself awkward. If I’d known he was the guy you were going on the date with, I never would have allowed it.”
“Allowed it?” I repeated, anger flushing every other emotion from me. “You’re not my dad, Brody.”
“I know,” he snapped in return.
“You’re not my brother either,” I reminded him.
He barked out a laugh. “I’m painfully aware, but I’m still in charge of you, heathen, and I say this date is over.”
He walked me backward until the wall met my back, looking down at me with the expression of a man who was used to having his orders followed.
“No, it’s not,” I heard myself say. It didn’t matter anymore that I’d already been counting down the minutes until I could make my excuses and leave.
No, that had already been forgotten. Now, all that mattered was showing Brody that he couldn’t boss me around and control my life this much. If he pushed me too far, I’d snap.
“Yes, it is,” Brody continued in that infuriatingly calm and certain tone he had.
I shook my head and glared at him as he grabbed my chin to change my headshaking to nodding.
I slapped his hand away, or tried to, but his fingers were made of steel. He kept my face captive and tilted it up until he filled my entire vision.
“Don’t shake your head or roll your eyes. It’s time to go before you turn into a pumpkin. This guy isn’t the one, Selena. I don’t want you seeing him again.”
My mouth dropped open in disbelief at his outrageous edict.
“Why not?” I demanded.
A muscle ticked in Brody’s strong jaw.
“I just don’t like him, and he’s not worthy of dating a Sinclair.”
“Dating?” I scoffed, and the part of me that thrived on provoking this man sprang to life.
He was being controlling again, pressing my buttons, getting in my face.
“Who said anything about dating?” I continued. “Maybe I just have an itch I need a man to scratch… and since you cleared everything fun out of my room, I have no other choice.”
Oh. My. God. Had I really just said that?
My face was on fire, but I held his gaze. I wouldn’t be the first to back down.
“If you’re talking about your little toy, cheer captain, all you have to do is come to me and ask for it.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, right. I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction.”
“I’m not the one desperate for satisfaction. You are,” he reminded me.
God, he was so annoying. Goading me, refusing to let me take control over my life, refusing to let me hide from the fucking mirror he held up to me.
I let out a deep breath, trying to wrestle my emotions into shape. Yes, Brody was pissing me off, what else was new? But I’d learned enough about this man to know how to annoy him.
Defy his control.
I brought my hand up to touch his wrist. His eyes narrowed as I glided my fingers gently along his pulse point.
His hold on my face relaxed, and I gently pulled his fingers away, wrapping my hand in his.
God, he had good hands. Huge, and warm, his fingers slid through mine. It felt nice. Really nice.
“You’re right,” I said softly.
He moved closer, clearly believing that I was deciding to roll over and let him dictate my choices to me.
“I am the one desperate for satisfaction, and nothing to help me with it,” I continued.
I held Brody’s dark, warm gaze. Did he know he was looking at me like this? If anyone saw us, they’d think we were lovers. The thought made my skin feel too tight all over my body. It felt like there was a bubble forming around us. One of heat and tension, confusing and addictive.
“So, I guess… I’ll make sure to go and ask Nick. He’s right, we’re having such a great time. I’m sure it’s going to be a long night. Don’t wait up,” I finished.
The bubble popped. Brody frowned and stepped back, and I ducked under his arm and power walked up the corridor and out into the open space of the bar.
“Selena!” he snapped behind me, all teasing gone.
A childish sense of delight filled me at getting the last word, for once.
I reached the booth first, and Nick stood to let me in, instead of just sliding over.
I slipped into the booth and scooted along the seat just as Brody reached us.
“Everything all right, Sinclair?” Asher asked, watching Brody’s face with interest.
Brody shoved a hand through his dark waves.
He looked… different than usual. He was pissed off, yes, for sure. But there was something more there. Something I hadn’t seen from him before.
“Not exactly.” Brody sighed and turned to Nick, who was still standing. His eyes flickered to me for a split second, just long enough for me to wonder what the hell he was about to do. “But it will be.”
Then he moved. Bursting forward in a sudden flash of violence, he brought his head crashing into Nick’s. Nick staggered back from the headbutt, clutching his nose. Asher was on his feet, and Marcus sprinted across the bar toward us. He crashed into Brody, holding him back from Nick.
“What the hell, Sinclair?! Have you lost your mind?” Asher demanded in a scathing voice. He turned to Winter. “Why don’t you guys go. Tonight is clearly over, and I don’t want you around these fucking idiots.”
Winter nodded and looped an arm around me, steering me past the guys. I glanced back to see Nick finally recovering enough to lunge for Brody.
“Come on. We don’t need to bear witness to that testosterone fest. What’s gotten into Brody?” Winter wondered.
“Who knows? The man is so disciplined and controlled most of the time. I’ve never seen him like that.”
“Hmm, something’s got him feeling all kinds of things he doesn’t know how to handle, I guess. It happens to the best of us.” Winter unlocked her car as we approached.
I went around the other side to get in. I stared out the window at the dark street as she drove me home.
That was it, I realized belatedly.
Brody had lost control.
Brody Sinclair had lost control… over me.