Chapter 36
Selena
I hovered in the doorway for a second longer than necessary.
Voices overlapped inside—laughter, introductions, the scrape of chairs against the floor—and for a second, I considered turning around and leaving before anyone noticed I was there.
First rehearsal for the play, and it was something called a table read.
I was so nervous, I had cold sweats as I made my way to the drama department and found the right room.
I sat in a seat that had a little name tag on it.
It was the character’s name and beneath it, my name.
It felt so strange. I’d almost convinced myself that this whole thing was a dream, but here I was, with a place to sit at the table and everything.
Other students filtered in, and I met the girl who’d play Beatrice, as well as Benedick. They already had great banter, so it looked like the director had made perfect picks. Then the guy who’d play Claudio, my intended husband in the play, came over to introduce himself.
“So, you’re Hero. Honestly, you and Beatrice steal this show.”
“Oh, you think so?”
“Definitely, the men are just there to cause problems.”
We talked about the play and our characters. I felt like a total newbie compared to the rest of the main cast, who had all been doing drama for years. I was the only one who hadn’t acted in a play before.
The director arrived, and everyone stood to clap for her. After we sat, there was a round of introductions. I was so nervous. Way more nervous than I’d been in any other class I’d taken at this university, or anywhere. I cared about this more, too.
Then the reading began. We started at the beginning, with the main cast reading their parts.
The play was sharp and witty; I enjoyed every second, though my nerves were making it difficult to get comfortable with the other cast members.
Everyone else was smiling and making jokes here and there.
I was uptight and rigid for a good while, trying desperately not to seem like a piece of cardboard.
But gradually, bit by bit, my nerves faded as the easy camaraderie of the group surrounded me. I found myself laughing and smiling. I was having fun. I’d learned well enough in the last year that a chance to laugh could be rare to come by. I clung on to it desperately.
It was precious. It was perfect, and for now, it was all mine.
The top floor of the library was quiet on a random Thursday night.
I was enjoying my shift, moving around the stacks in the low lighting, organizing books in pools of lamplight.
The upper floors had these old-fashioned green lamps on the tables that made me feel like I was living in an Edwardian movie.
I was listening to my audiobook, quite absorbed in the story and carrying a stack of books to my cart, when I noticed that the next book I’d planned to shelve was gone. A completely different book now stood in its place. I frowned.
I looked around, seeing if someone might have needed it and decided to take it before it got shelved. But there was no one in sight. Shadows pooled in the corners of the huge room. I pulled my headphones from my ears, needing all my senses on high alert.
Unease ran through me, and the other night with Nick popped into my head.
I’d been trying not to think about it and let it get a grip in my mind.
If I focused too much on Nick, and the fact that his brother was the cop, and that Nick knew…
I’d fall off the deep end again. I couldn’t let it happen.
I didn’t want it to. I finally felt like I was living again after a year of being lost. I didn’t want to lose that for anything.
A sound echoed along a dark aisle.
“Hello?” I called out.
Silence beat around me. A suffocating kind of silence.
I wasn’t alone. I backed toward the cart, keeping my eyes on the dark aisle.
My phone was in my pocket, and now, I took it out and stabbed at the screen, not even aware of who I was calling.
I had so few numbers in my phone, it didn’t really matter.
It rang shortly before it connected.
“Selena?” Brody asked after a long beat of silence.
I was too scared to talk, feeling locked in that fight-or-flight mode that had taken control of me.
I swallowed hard, my lips apart, but unable to move.
“What’s wrong? What’s happening?” Brody demanded.
In the background, the noises of somewhere busy faded. A slammed heavy door. Gravel crunching underfoot.
“You can’t tell me?” Brody continued. “You had a shift at the library. You should still be there. I’m on campus, at the rink.”
I nodded wordlessly. The soft squeak of shoes walking carefully hit my ears. It came from the darkness of the aisle in front of me. In the far distance, a glowing green emergency exit sign signaled the very end of the room. Had someone come in that way?
“Selena, listen to me. I’m on my way, got it?”
The shoe squeaks came closer.
“I’ll be there soon. Wait for me.”
Then he was gone. I dropped my hand holding the phone and tried to force myself to breathe.
I knew what I was supposed to do for an impending panic attack, though it hardly ever worked.
I’d had enough practice at least trying.
But despite my efforts, my breath still wouldn’t come easy. I still saw spots in front of my eyes.
A shadow moved in the darkness. Someone was definitely there, and they were moving toward me.
“I found you!”
Someone grabbed me from behind, nearly knocking me over. The smell of jasmine and neroli filled my head, and a soft arm squeezed my waist.
“I asked at the front desk which floor you were on and they weren’t sure. You don’t even know how many floors I’ve searched.” Aisha moved around my side.
Her teal-blue T-shirt made her skin glow. The thick frames of her glasses caught the light of the lamp behind me, hiding her eyes for a second.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
My paralysis faded, and I reached out and grabbed her hand. I wasn’t alone.
Then I looked down that dark aisle toward the emergency exit and took off at a run.
“Where are you going?” Aisha called and followed behind me curiously as I ran into the darkness.
Shoes squeaked ahead of me. Whoever had been trying to scare me was running, and they were faster than I was.
The emergency door smashed open, and someone darted out.
As they passed under the green light, I caught a glimpse of a pale hoodie and jeans, illuminated in the green emergency light for a beat, and then they were gone.
“What was that? Was there someone there?” Aisha caught up to me.
I stopped near the door. It was too late to go after them. They’d be down the stairs and far away long before I could catch up.
But I wasn’t crazy. My instincts had been correct. Who had it been? Nick? Someone else? Were they just trying to scare me, or something more?
“Selena, are you okay?” Aisha demanded and shook my arm.
“I’m fine, nothing happened. Just some fucking loser lurking in the dark. What people will do not to study, right?” I forced a smile on my lips. I didn’t want Aisha worrying about me, and she was exactly the kind of person to do just that.
“So, why were you looking for me?” I checked my watch. “I’m actually done, so I can leave with you.”
“Good timing,” she said, coming with me.
I pulled the cart toward the elevator.
We got to the bottom floor of the library just as Brody burst in. He was still in his training stuff, his face flushed and hair wet.
He glanced around frantically for a second before seeing me, then quickly closed the distance between us.
“What the fuck happened?” he demanded.
I took a moment to process the fact that I’d called him and he’d actually rushed over.
“Nothing, I’m okay,” I managed to get out.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “You weren’t okay on the phone.”
I thought furiously. If I told Brody, wouldn’t he blame Nick? What if he went after him again and beat him up? Wouldn’t he get in trouble this time? Surely there were only so many times you could attack someone before their cop brother decided to make problems for you.
“Aisha was sneaking up on me on the top floor. It was creepy and dark up there, and I got flustered.”
Brody stared at me for a beat. “Why does it feel like you’re lying to me?”
I turned to Aisha, my desperate eyes signaling that I needed her to play along.
“She’s right. I grabbed her out of nowhere. It’s my fault. I didn’t realize it was so scary,” she said quickly.
Brody looked between us, clearly not believing a single word we said.
“I shouldn’t have bothered you—”
“Don’t do that. Bother me. I want you to bother me every time,” he interrupted and sighed. “Maybe our training needs to change to self-defense.”
I snorted softly. “Yeah, right. Isn’t it useless to ‘fight like a girl’? Don’t all the instructors tell women to run if they can?”
Brody shrugged. “Sure, run, if you can. If you can’t, then you fight like a girl.” He stepped closer to me.
Something in his tone made me think the phrase wasn’t an insult coming from him.
“Meaning?” I wondered.
He tapped his fingers on my temple. “Smarter. That’s your girl superpower. Your brains.”
His phone vibrated in his pocket, lighting up even through his shorts. He sighed at seeing Cal’s name on the display.
“Come on, I’ll take you home,” he said to us both.
We followed him outside, just in time to see a parking attendant writing a ticket for Brody’s car. The expensive sports car had been abandoned on the sidewalk outside the library.
“Hey!” I called to the parking attendant.
I chased after him, and he speed-walked away after finishing writing the ticket.
“We’re here!”
“Forget it. Who cares?” Brody sighed and snagged the ticket. He tossed it on his dashboard. “Aisha, are you going back to your dorm?”
“Actually, I came here to ask Selena to come to a party with me,” she said.
I wrinkled my nose. “I’m tired, a party sounds awful.”
“I think you’ll want to come to this one,” she said and then smiled at both me and Brody. “It’s at your house.”
Brody sighed. “Fucking Marcus.”