Chapter 3
Saint
As the doctor bandages Lake’s fresh wounds, I pace back and forth at the end of her bed, growling low in my throat when the scent of her blood hits my nostrils again. The crude crimson stains my hands and shirt. I’ll suffer with it because I refuse to leave her side to wash it off.
Her dad had called mine, King, and her brother, but I’ve refused to allow anyone in here except Luther and Ariel. She needs no audience for her misery, not when she’s already shutting down. More people witnessing her like this will only make it worse. Of that, I’m certain.
Luther keeps one eye on me and the other on the doctor.
He’s waiting for me to pounce and rip the guy’s head off or toss him out the window.
In all the years since my feelings towards Lake have changed, I’ve never outwardly expressed my desires to the older men in our family.
And until the fight last night, never so openly with the younger ones.
I recognize that Lake needs more than I can possibly give her. I’m too violent, too unfeeling, too possessive of her. Knowing all this, I should let her go, but my every instinct screams to hold her closer. That my dismissal of her would be the catalyst for her ending.
The only thing I’ve ever wanted to do was love and protect her.
Do I truly know how to do that? Probably not.
But no one on earth would try harder than me.
Which means I need to learn how to help her.
Gain a better understanding of what she’ll need to come back from this, because today was likely her rock bottom.
I halt my pacing and clear my throat, asking nicely that everyone leave the room for a few minutes. The only person who will ever see my own vulnerabilities is Lake. She gets all of me, while everyone else can endure the monster.
Ariel hesitates to leave before leveling me with a sorrowful look, silently begging me to promise to take care of her daughter. Once we’re alone, I slip into bed, pressing my body to Lake’s, protecting her from every angle I can.
I kiss the back of her neck, inhaling deeply before speaking.
“I’m going to leave for a few hours. I need to learn how to help you, my sweet haven.
” Her breath catches, but she doesn’t move, doesn’t open her eyes.
She lies there like she expects to disappear, and it kills me inside. “I’ll be back, Lake, I swear.”
No reply from her.
I’m not mad. She is fragile like a lonely flower sprouting through a mountain top. Beauty surrounded by more beauty but could disappear in an instant.
I’m not the most intuitive man, but I understand she needs for me to express what I’m doing and where I’m going while also keeping my word.
Leaving her takes every ounce of my strength.
I ignore everyone in my path and head out of the house, making the call to her middle sibling, Damien, to urge him to come home.
Lake needs everyone by her side right now.
Next, I call Hendrix to meet up with Mia.
She’s the only person I know who could direct me to the resources Lake needs at this point.
It’s become increasingly obvious that her current therapist is of no help to her.
Lake continues to worsen, with no end to her agony in sight.
I text Luther to let him know of my plan to drive up to Mobile to meet with Hendrix and Mia, while their girls spend time at the Deviant Sinners clubhouse, then I leave.
* * *
The silence of the drive ate at me, providing too much time to contemplate all the things that could go wrong in my absence. I push through the doubts, knowing this is better than waiting for some magical cure.
Hendrix meets me outside their home in Mobile. Even though they stay mostly in Pensacola, they kept Mia’s house here for visits.
“Hey, man, how’s Lake doing?” He looks as exhausted as I feel.
“Not good.”
“Saint.” Mia smiles, holding the baby over her shoulder as she rubs circles on his back. “Come inside. I have fresh coffee and muffins, and we’ll talk.”
Following along behind her, it feels weird being here without Coral and Charlotte underfoot, fighting, laughing, or driving Hendrix insane.
Despite them being their adopted daughters, I know he’d kill for either one of them.
Hell, we all would. They fit right in with our family and have bonded with everyone.
Coral, in particular, has taken a liking to me, and I can’t understand why.
She always texts to check up on me or sends things she thinks I’ll find funny.
“Sit.” Mia points to a stool, then hands me the sleeping infant with a smirk.
“Uhhh….” I don’t know what the hell to do with one of these. Despite my sister Scotlyn having her own children, and how often they visit us. Kids, for some reason, gravitate towards me.
“Relax, Saint, he looks good on you,” Hendrix jokes, and I’m tempted to slap him silly, but the infant in my arms prevents that.
Mia places a coffee and a muffin in front of me from across the island counter and glances at her husband before sighing and offering me a folder with some papers in it.
“I understand you want what is best for Lake; we all do, but I have to warn you. Even though it’s been years and she’s been getting help, she may never be okay.
” A faraway look enters her eyes, and I imagine she’s thinking of someone else.
“There’s got to be something I can do. Some way for me to help her that everyone else is failing at.” I failed Lake once; I can’t do it again. Not when she’s so fragile and ready to check out before we’ve had a chance.
“I think you need to speak to her therapist.” I scoff at that, not sold on the idea that the woman is helping Lake. “I’m serious. She won’t be able to give you details of their sessions, but she might have some insight into what could help Lake going forward.”
“What else?” Grinding my teeth so I don’t verbalize my distrust, I listen to everything Mia says with an open mind.
“You’re not going to like it,” she says bluntly. “Stop protecting her so fiercely. Let Lake take the lead. As much as she’s comfortable with.”
“Stop protecting her.” That’s unfathomable.
“I don’t mean shove her into the wild and let her flounder.
I mean, step back, let her explore and find her footing again.
” That sounds reasonable. “Just be ready to catch her, Saint, because until she shares her story, nobody knows what she really went through. You may know what happened, but not from her point of view, and it’s incredibly important that everyone understands that what she experienced is likely ten times worse than what you’re all imagining. ”
The words hit me like a ton of bricks. Mia is right. We know what happened from Bea’s stepsisters’ account and medical reports, but Lake has yet to express herself. And that’s likely the crux of the problem. She can’t heal because she hasn’t vocalized it to deal with the ramifications.
Getting her to the point she’s comfortable telling me, or anyone, will be the final battle. One I’m prepared to fight and conquer at her pace. I just need to figure out how to ready her for it.
“Thanks, guys, this has helped.”
Handing the baby back to Mia, I grab the muffin, chug the coffee, and head out. Plans must be made, and the drive home will be a good time to get started.
By my arrival back in Pensacola, I have a pit in my stomach. An awareness that something has happened, and I’m too late to do a damn thing about it.