3. Renne
Renne
Inever look for trouble, but it finds me nevertheless. How else do you explain being a nurse to a crime lord and the crime lord’s future wife, and now being asked to be maid of honor in a wedding that will surely be attended by crime families? I don’t think my nerves will survive this.
This city was supposed to be my safe haven.
My witness protection case manager placed me here because Selnoa was run by the Crossbow crime lord, who didn’t like any other lords inside his city.
He hated the one they hid me from, and he thought there was no way the other boss or his men would even come here.
But Massio Crossbow is dead now, and his sons have taken over. Like their father, they likely won’t allow other criminals to roam the city, but at least I didn’t know Massio. Now, my best friend is going to marry the king of Selnoa’s criminal underworld.
She missed Declan the year they were separated, and they do love each other. But did it really have to be him of all people? Were there no other hot men she could’ve snagged?
All eyes stare at me. I have no answer. I’m thirty years old, and I want to call my mommy and have her help me, maybe even hold me a little.
My parents were such great rocks for me, and I’m lost without them.
I would appreciate some advice right about now from people who would want to help me navigate this new situation instead of just judging me for it and hoping I fumble.
My face must be burning. “What… what about Chi-chi?” That’s Dina’s daughter.
“Chi-chi suggested I ask you so I can have two maids of honor.”
“I thought you could only have one.”
“She will have as many as she wants,” Declan declares firmly.
“I’m honored. I am.” I bite my lip. I can’t be a maid of honor at a Crossbow wedding that will be photographed.
The twins are celebrities around here. I can’t be in those photos.
But how can I refuse and keep my friend?
Maybe this is my way out. I refuse, Dina gets upset, and I’m free.
This woman was there for me when I had nobody.
She is still here for me, and I have nobody.
Shame on me for even thinking of abandoning her now.
But how could I not?
My breaths are uneven. I focus on breathing normally to ward off the panic. They’ll know something is wrong.
“You are honored, but?” Declan prompts.
The last thing I want to do is offend Dina’s man, who executed seventy people in broad daylight. One of those people was the chief of police.
“But…um.” My brain is drawing blanks. I can’t even come up with a valid excuse.
Disappointment is evident on Dina’s face.
This woman has helped me out so much. She’s looked out for me.
“Dina, since the hospital incident, I have trouble sleeping, as you know. I have trouble with flashing lights, crowds, anything noisy and big like that. At the wedding, there will be cameras, reporters, crowds of people, and me standing there next to you will trigger my panic attacks. I won’t make it.
It will ruin your wedding. If I collapsed next to you, it would be terrible.
I’m not bridesmaid material, but I want to be there for you when you pick out a dress and, um, flower arrangements, and…
well, whatever else wedding planning requires. ”
“We have actual wedding planners for that,” Declan says.
Connor pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of me. “There. You’ve entered the training for the main event.” He looks down at his screen, makes a face I can’t decipher, then slips the phone back into his pocket. “The answer is yes, even though she’ll hate every minute of it.”
“What?”
“What what?” Connor asks. “I answered for you. No is not an option.”
“Sure it is,” Dina protests.
Connor rolls his eyes. “Do you want her to be at your side or not? I just told you she will. Why are you arguing against it?”
We glare at him.
“We’re not going to force her into being my maid of honor. If she doesn’t want it, that’s her choice,” Dina says.
“Oh, Dina.” I take my friend’s hand. “It’s not that I don’t want to…”
Dina is hurt. Visibly hurt. She’s sensitive, and she considered me her best friend. We clicked so well and so fast, it was undeniable. She’s the sister I never had. Her eyes tear up.
Declan watches me, drumming his fingers on the kitchen bar. If glares could kill, his would.
Connor is trying to get my daughter to drink out of a glass. She’s making a mess of her clothes and loves every minute of it.
“I have PTSD,” I say. “From the…the event at the hospital. Just thinking about that many people at the wedding, the flashing cameras, the choppers flying above trying to take pictures, it makes me want to hide. Please try to understand.”
Dina looks up at Declan, who raises an eyebrow. “Yes?”
“Do you think we could accommodate her request?” she asks.
Declan nods. “Certainly. Con?”
“I’m on it.”
Okay. What just happened? “On what?”
“You.” Connor winks, then washes his hands and heads out. “Are you coming?”
I hug Dina. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, my friend. I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the ass. I am so honored you asked me.”
She squeezes me. Her body is soft and warm. “Aww, you are not a pain in the ass. I didn’t consider the crowds or the cameras and stuff. We’ll figure out the wedding thing. I would rather have you at my wedding than not.”
I kiss my baby and follow Connor outside.
The SUV with tinted windows idles in the driveway. Inside, Selnoa’s crime lord waits to take me to work. How did I get here in life?
The private valet opens the door for me, and I slide in, immediately folding my hands in my lap. They’re shaking.
I know he notices because I catch him glancing at my lap before driving away.
“I’ll fix the camera flashing at the wedding. I’ll adjust the crowds and your position.”
“Are you the wedding planner?” I joke.
“Yeah.” Another duh he swallowed. “Who else would it be?”
An actual wedding planner. But I don’t say that. I shrug. “Didn’t know you planned weddings.”
“I plan events. A wedding is no different.”
“What kind of events?”
He side-eyes me.
I understand I’ve crossed the line. “I feel terrible about not saying yes to Dina immediately. I think she should just go with Chi-chi and let me sit it out.”
“Then tell her no.”
I sigh. “I can’t do that. She’s my best friend who’s done so much for me.
” But I should tell her no, because it’s about my safety and that of my baby.
Would we be safer in this city away from Crossbows?
Is that true since I minded my own business the day Declan extracted Dina and Connor from the hospital?
Besides, Declan looked at me as if I murdered his kitten as I considered rejecting his fiancée’s request. He wouldn’t like me saying no to her. Not even a little bit. “I don’t want to inconvenience anyone or make personal requests.”
Connor scratches his head. “You keep bringing this up. Are you asking me for advice?”
“I’m looking to talk to someone about this.”
“There’s not much to talk about. The queen of the city wants you to be her princess at her wedding. Dina will have what she wants, and if she wants you, then she will have you.”
“That sounds like I have no choice in the matter.”
“It’s cute you think you ever did.”
There it is. The fact, I can’t refuse, and even if Dina said I could, the Crossbow twins will make sure she gets what she asked for.
Since he removed the choice from me, the weight lifts off my chest. It’s a feeling so freeing that it worries me.
I’m tired of making all the choices, and mostly, I made the wrong ones.
In fact, Dina and I bonded over our shitty choices.
Connor is quiet for a while. “Where is the baby’s father?”
Somewhere at the bottom of the Mediterranean. “He’s deceased.”
“Were you married? Engaged?”
I shake my head. “Nah, we had an accident.”
“Why did you keep the baby?”
I don’t answer because he’s being intrusive. “The new theater is coming along nicely.” I point at the construction out the window.
“That’s one of my projects. I like projects. You’re one of my projects now.”
“That…sounds nice, I guess.” NOT.
“Would make it much easier if you answered my questions. If I can’t get answers, I’ll go looking. I’m a terribly curious kind of person. It’s really a disease the Musketeers are working on.”
“I can’t believe you’re calling your therapists the Musketeers.”
He looks over and smiles, showing dimples. Holy crap, he’s handsome. I look away and clench my thighs. Maybe I should reconsider Dr. Olton’s invitation for a date. He’s been wanting to take me to dinner and a movie. He’s been persistent, and he’s handsome. I’ll need a date for Dina’s wedding too.
Connor taps his thumb on the wheel. “I don’t like waiting. I also hate it when I can’t figure something out. I pursue it until I either figure it out or kill it dead. You know what I mean?”’
“Not really.”
“Did you love your baby’s daddy?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Everything I make my business is my business.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “You are being intrusive. I don’t know you. I don’t have to answer you.”
Connor shakes his head and pulls his bottom lip through his teeth. “Aw, fuck, don’t do that. Better tell me what I want to know. We’re having such a nice conversation, and you go and leave me curious. It’ll drive me crazy now.”
“The Musketeers will help you with that.”
Connor laughs, then hits the gas, and instead of stopping at the red light, we power through it. My jaw goes slack, and I turn around just to be sure we really did run the light.
“That was a red light.”
“Red is my favorite color.”
“Thanks for sharing, but you should’ve stopped.”
“Tell me what I want to know.” We’re driving toward another stoplight that turns yellow, but Connor isn’t slowing down. I hold on to my seat belt as he races through it to the blare of honking horns, almost killing us both.
“Oh my God, you’re crazy!” I grip the door handle and hear the SUV’s locks engage.
“You want to jump out of a moving vehicle, and you call me crazy?”
“I wasn’t going to jump out.”
“What were you going to do, then?” He speeds up. Another traffic light turns yellow. There are more cars here as we’re approaching the downtown area. With a lurch, Connor drives the car up onto the sidewalk. Cursing pedestrians scramble out of his way.
“I did not love him!” I scream, and the lunatic slows down and rejoins the line of traffic, then stops at the next red light.
“See how easy that was?” he asks.
I press my hands over my heart. “I’m never riding in the car with you again.”
Connor opens the car’s cooler. He gives me a bottle of water. “Here you go, baby. Don’t die of a heart attack. I’m still having fun with you.”
The light turns green, but Connor parks the car, right there in the intersection. Everyone honks, but he won’t move.
“What else do you want to know?” I sink into the seat. We’re drawing so much attention.
“Why did you keep the baby you made with a man you didn’t love and knew couldn’t support you because he was dead?” Connor turns in his seat and pins me with those stunning blue eyes.
“Because the idea of having a baby made me happy. She’s mine, and I wanted something that was mine.
” I wanted her because she was all I was allowed to keep from my old self.
I liked my old self. I don’t even know who this new Ekatia person really is, but I’m trying hard to be Ekatia for my baby.
“Some days, she’s the only thing that keeps me going. ”
Connor’s eyes soften. “You’re a good mom.”
Oh. I didn’t expect him to say that. “Thank you.”
Suddenly, someone bangs on top of the car. I jump up as if jolted by an electric current as a man shouts and thumps his fist on Connor’s window.
“Move or get out of the car so I can beat the shit out of you, you piece of shit!” the man screams, almost foaming at the mouth.
“God loves me, I swear it. Wait here.” Connor swings his door open and hits the man with it. The man’s lip cracks, spattering blood on the window, but that doesn’t stop him from shouting at Connor. If anything, it makes him angrier. He swings and punches Connor in the face.
Connor returns the punch. One, two, three. The man’s head bounces back and forth on his neck. Connor steps back and rolls his shoulders. The man swings and gets Connor under the jaw. His body slams into the car.
I cover my mouth to trap a scream.
Connor pounces right back and pounds the man with his fists until the man collapses. I can’t see what’s happening anymore. I can only see Connor’s elbow when it comes back up.
I rush out of the car and try to hold him back, but the sight of the man’s bloodied face makes me freeze. I’m a nurse, so I see blood and human waste all the time, but it’s not the same as seeing it coupled with a beating.
Connor pounds on the man. If he continues, he’ll kill him. I’m sure of it.
Then suddenly, he stops and looks up at me.
Time stills. Those same blue eyes I saw in the car are totally different now. They’re devoid of humanity. It’s like staring into a void. Into a person who is dead inside.
Tears slide down my cheeks.
Connor looks down at the man, then up at me. A blink, and he steps away, then surveys the gathered crowds.
“Get back in the car,” he says.
I do. I sit in the passenger seat and sink into the seat, my hands shaking even harder than before. I don’t know how I’ll work today.
Connor slides in next to me and grips the wheel, knuckles scraped and bloody.
He drives away and sighs. The noise he makes sounds as if the incident was a mere inconvenience.
I sigh like that when I arrive at the checkout without my reusable grocery bag and I have to purchase a plastic one.
A minor annoyance. This is how Connor sighs now.
“You know,” he says as he eases back into traffic while I turn in my seat to see if the man’s getting up from the asphalt.
I can’t tell because people have gathered around him.
Police cars and an ambulance fly past us.
Nobody stops Connor. The man was probably not a native of this city, or he would have recognized one of the Crossbow twins.
“People must be more careful about how they approach others. Maybe I had a faulty engine,” Connor says, “and I couldn’t have started my car, but that asshole came raging at me. He didn’t ask if I needed help.”
I stare at him. “You almost killed that man.”
Connor pulls up at the hospital emergency room. “If you hadn’t been there, I would have.”
“Thank God I was, then.”
“Maybe you’re that man’s guardian angel.” His face and hands are bloody as he says that. Blood drips onto his shirt.
“Come inside, and I’ll clean you up.”