16. Renne
Renne
Connor Crossbow nailed Pete to the door of a restaurant. Because of me.
I appreciate the fact that he stuck up for me and is extending his protection to me, but in its current form, Connor’s protection terrifies me. The fact that he can get away with murder in this city reminds me of how the man I’m running from got away with murdering all those people on the yacht.
I’ve witnessed the horrors caused by unhinged men.
I’m desperately trying to avoid one of those men, only to find protection with the mirror image of him?
Pete didn’t deserve to have his hands dislocated and fingers broken, or to have a hole in his palm where the knife that pinned him to the door of his friend’s restaurant went through it.
Trouble is, I can’t summon any sympathy for him.
Pete has been asking me out for months. All he really wanted was to get laid.
If he’d approached me that way, I’d have said yes a long time ago.
Essentially, Pete and I wanted the same thing.
But instead of being honest with me, he played the role of a caring man who really liked me and couldn’t wait to go out with me.
That is duplicitous. My first boyfriend in high school played me that way, and when he dumped me after taking my virginity, I was devastated.
That experience, along with some others, taught me a lesson. Now, I go into relationships with no expectations at all. In fact, I guard my heart and use guys before they can use me.
I digress.
There’s no way Connor can justify what he did to Pete. At the same time, I don’t owe Pete an apology. He could’ve chosen to be a decent human and taken care of me on our date. Instead, he chose to be a dick. That’s an expensive lesson to learn about how to treat a woman.
If the man I’m hiding from finds out where I am, he won’t teach me a lesson. He’ll shoot me and dump me where nobody will find me. My hope is that he’ll never find me and if he does, Connor won’t protect a snitch. Nobody loves a snitch.
I fix Hanna’s dress just as Dina turns in her seat beside Connor, who’s driving. She styled her hair in voluptuous curls today, and her makeup makes her brown eyes appear brighter. Dina looks like a woman about to marry the man of her dreams.
I want her life for myself. I want it so badly, and yet I can’t have it because I must stay in the shadows and mind my own business.
No honest man would want to be dragged into my mess.
And the man who could navigate the shadows of my life, a man like Connor, would shoot me if he found out I’ve been lying this whole time.
Declan Crossbow wants peace? Well, there’s a major crime lord after me. He won’t tolerate me or my issues, even if Connor or Dina would.
I can only hope the Crossbows never find out what I saw that night and that nobody ever comes for me.
If they do, Dina will protect Hanna. I’m not a stupid woman.
I want my child protected at all costs. Dina helped me when she didn’t even know me.
She’s the kind of woman who would adopt my child if I went down.
“I’m so glad you’re coming this morning.”
“I’m sorry you had to reschedule because of me.”
“I’m not sorry at all. I get to try on my dress earlier. The designer seemed excited too, so the timing worked out just right. Besides, I already dropped the five pounds I set out to drop this week.”
“Congratulations.”
She flips down the mirror. “I can see it in my face. By the time our wedding day rolls around, I’ll feel more comfortable on camera.
Private pictures, as we agreed. Anyway, I want to talk to you about the bridesmaid dresses.
Since Chi-chi is wearing a suit, you don’t have to match.
You can pretty much pick whatever you want. ”
“Thank you.” I’ll go without food so that I can afford a designer dress.
I’m unsure if I can afford it since I have no idea who the designer is, and even if I knew, I doubt I’d know the prices just by the name.
I don’t follow the fashion industry the way Dina does.
She knows all the names, dates, colors, trends.
If the trend doesn’t involve a baby, I don’t know of it.
Regardless, I ask, “Out of curiosity, where are we going?”
“The Tretti Couture.”
No clue. “Is it in the mall?”
“No, it’s a fashion house. We’re going to the fashion house where they’re going to show us designs and, hopefully, find us dresses.”
Sounds unaffordable to me. But Dina knows my situation.
I’m not sure if I should remind her, but I’m embarrassed to talk about money in front of Connor.
He’s old wealth. I can tell it’s old because he wears his designer clothing like I wear my grocery-store-bought T-shirts. No big deal. It’s an everyday thing.
We approach L’Octane. Reporters congregate there, and cameras shine lights on the scene.
We slow down with the traffic. It’s always congested here as it is.
Now I don’t know how we’ll ever get through to wherever we’re going.
The streets are packed with cars and people. I don’t care for the cameras.
Behind tinted windows, I bite my lip.
“I told him to drop you off,” Connor says, speaking about Pete. “I told him twice. He wouldn’t listen. There’s a reason I told him that, and a reason he’s in the hospital now. I didn’t like how he looked at you.”
I clear my throat. “How did he look at me?”
He catches my gaze. “Like he wanted you. The trouble with men like Pete, they take what they want no matter what. If you’d let him fuck you, he’d have hurt you.” Connor shrugs. “And not in a good way.”
“You got all that from the way he looked at me?”
“Yes. Initially. There are signs. Men like him like to watch bunnies suffer. For example, his choice of movie. Disregarding your priorities. Dinner with friends, not just you.” He honks at a guy on a moped who zipped by the car, nicking the mirror.
He rolls down the window and fixes it. “Those are signs that most people ignore. I don’t.
I’m blessed with madness that makes me pay attention. Pete is a known offender.”
“No way!” Dina says, looking horrified. “What did he do?”
“Accused of sexual assault twice, never convicted. His ex-wife charged him with domestic violence.”
“No way,” I repeat. “I didn’t think you could work in health care with those offenses.”
“There were no offenses,” Connor says.
“This is Selnoa,” Dina says, “Everything is corrupt.”
Connor snickers. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
Dina laughs. “Oh my God, stop it.”
The traffic crawls along. “Thank you,” I say after silence falls in the car.
“Welcome.”
“You two have chemistry,” Dina says. “You should go out on a date.”
“A date?” Connor asks in a tone that could make one think she suggested he fly to the moon. “You think I should ask her out?”
“I’m right here.”
Connor adjusts his rearview mirror. “Quiet in the back while the adults speak.”
We laugh.
“Of the three adults in the car, you’re the youngest,” I remind him.
Connor’s eyes sparkle. “You wouldn’t consider going out with me, then?”
“No.”
“Are you off Friday night?” he asks.
Yes. “No.”
“Are you sure you’re not?”
Dina turns in her seat and looks from me to him back to me. I don’t know what she sees, but she says, “Leave her alone, Con.”
Connor re-centers the rearview mirror.
I watch the pedestrians near the window as the SUV stands still in traffic. Yellow crime scene tape wraps around the buildings, perhaps the entire block.
I spot a reporter who’s running toward us, the cameraman hustling with the equipment on her heels.
“Why did we stop?” My face can’t be on the news.
Connor honks. Once, twice. The cars around us respond.
It’s so loud that Hanna looks at me, frightened.
“It’s okay, baby girl.” I’m pretty sure I’m the scared one.
Nobody is coming to save me. Nobody will tell me it’s okay, baby girl.
I won’t need comfort when the crime lord I’m hiding from sees me on the news. Because I’ll be dead.
Pedestrians converge on the car.
Connor rolls down his window and pats the roof.
The reporter runs around the car with her cameraman and the microphone.
In the back seat, I duck down.
“Mr. Crossbow, Mr. Crossbow—”
Connor cuts off the journalist. “I owe you an exclusive.”
“Yes, yes, whenever you’re ready. But—”
“How about Friday night?”
Jealousy burns a hole in my chest. It feels like indigestion.
“I’m free Friday night.”
“Are you now?”
This motherfucker is flirting. Is it on purpose? Because I rejected him? I bet it is. Doesn’t he know it’s for the best? He’s the one who told me we were done after that one time on the road.
“Yes, yes. Um, I’m covering the event today, and I wanted to—”
“Bury this. There’s nothing to see here. Tell the others and go find something else to do that has nothing to do with this.”
“Yes, sir. Oh, hi, Dina.”
With my face obscured by my hair, my body turned toward Hanna, blocking her face as well, I roll my eyes.
“Hi,” Dina answers.
“Love your hair today.”
Ass kisser. Now I’m hating on this woman for absolutely no reason. Maybe Connor likes me enough to hate on Pete too, and look at what happened with him. Jealousy makes people do stupid things. It also means Connor and I like each other.