30. Connor
Connor
“Can I ask you something?” Declan hovers over me as I watch the surveillance videos from last night.
“Why are you asking me if you can ask me? No, you can’t ask me shit.”
“I’ll ask anyway.”
“My point exactly.”
“Do you miss her?”
He’s come to annoy me. “Who?”
“Jesus Christ, Connor.” Declan spins my chair and grabs my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. It’s like looking in the mirror, but his eyes show sanity behind them. “Do you miss her?”
“Maybe. How would I know if I missed someone?”
Dec releases me. “You think about her a lot. You fantasize about being together again.”
“Does watching the porn we made together count as fantasizing?”
“Um… Yes. You made porn?”
“Yeah, but it’s private. You can’t watch it.”
Declan steps back. “Ew. As if I would.” He points a finger at me. “I know what you just did. You diverted me from the topic.”
“I’m a divergent.”
Declan shakes his head. “No. Stop that, Con. We’re having a serious conversation. I want to know if you feel like a part of you is missing, and it’s driving you crazy that you don’t know what she’s doing, and you want her around all the time. All the time. It’s…it’s madness.”
“But I do know what they’re doing.”
“How?” The moment he realizes I tapped into the cameras on Zaten’s territory, Declan bites his fist. “Tell me you didn’t penetrate Zaten’s surveillance?”
“I didn’t. He gave me permission because it’s for personal use.”
“What’s that mean? Show me.”
“I’m only watching Renne’s townhome.”
“Show me.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because the cameras are inside the house. She could be naked.”
“I’ve seen naked girls before.” Declan smirks, fucking with me. What an evil twat.
“Oh yeah?” I ask.
“Yeah.”
I smile like the evil bitch I am. “Dina!” I shout.
Declan’s eyes widen. “What are you doing?”
“Dina! Declan wants to see naked—”
He covers my mouth with his hand. “I’m getting married in two days.”
I slap his hand away. “Don’t ask me for surveillance video, then.”
“I only want to see your face when you look at her, Con. Don’t you know that?”
“That’s precisely why I won’t show you anything.”
“You can’t hide from yourself forever.”
“Of course I can. And I won’t hide. Hanna’s birthday is coming up, and I can go see the baby.”
“Not the baby. The mom.”
I shake my head. “I’m not going to see her. Hanna has a babysitter, and I’ll go there. Bring my gifts and banana bread. Dina said she’ll make some.”
“Connor, please go see Renne.”
“No can do. I love her, so I can’t see her.”
Declan stares. “That is why you should see her, dummy.”
“But I’m a clown like Massio, Dec. You know I am.”
“Yes, but the object of your obsession loves you back. And that changes everything. Don’t you see? You will have a family. All you have to do is accept that she loves you back. You are lovable, Connor. You really are. Mother was wrong about you.”
“Was she?”
“Yeah.”
“Hm. What’s in it for you?”
Declan chuckles. “Dina wants Renne at the wedding. She wants you to win her back. But that’s not why I’m here. It’s a part of it, but you know I would never ask you to chase after someone I didn’t think was good for you.”
“You want me to bring her back?”
“Con, you haven’t showered in days, and you have facial hair. You can’t eat. You stare at the monitors all day long. I think you should ask her if she wants to attend the wedding. Maybe she will.”
“She’s scared.”
There’s a knock on the door, and Cass pokes his head in. “Update. Daniel has been located. He’s hiding in prison. I’m going there in about half an hour. Endo wants to know if either of you wants to come with me.”
“No,” Dec and I say in unison.
He looks from me to Dec. We don’t do goodbyes.
“Take care of yourself,” Dec says.
“I’ll find a way to watch over you,” I tell him.
Cass nods and closes the door.
Silence speaks volumes. We’re worried that Cass’s quest for revenge might be the end of him.
“Now that he’s not coming to the wedding, you know what to do.”