Chapter 2 – Nate
Mari slept like the dead in Greyson’s arms. The three of us lapsed into silence the moment her breathing evened out, and I’d closed my eyes to listen to those soft inhales. She’d been run so ragged that Dominic and I had discussed sedating her. Thank God Grey woke up when he did.
Even as removed as I still felt from my family, I couldn’t help but be grateful.
We were alive, Mari was safe, my brothers were here, and I was free.
Cash wouldn’t let me go. I knew too much. Worse, he’d come after Mari even harder because I’d abandoned him. But I wasn’t sure that mattered. I would do whatever it took to make sure that we stayed safe, even if it cost me my soul.
Her breathing hitched, and I was smiling before I even opened my eyes, knowing she was awake. I didn’t expect her to be turned over, staring right at me. “We need to talk.”
The darkness under her eyes made my chest tight. I was used to her full of life, not this pale imitation of my Mari.
“Take a shower first, angel.” She needed to wash away the fear that still clung to her. I could see the fight in her, desperate to refuse, but Dominic cut her off.
“Seriously, mariposa. You stink. We’ll watch the invalid.”
“You’re all invalids.” There was the rub. We’d all been shot—not that she seemed to remember the graze on her arm—and we’d terrified her. I couldn’t imagine what that had been like for her. Watching her hurt was bad enough, but she’d watched all three men she loved go down. That was going to have repercussions.
“We are, and we can take care of one another. Now, go. Get clean. We’ll survive the next ten minutes.”
Mari narrowed her eyes. “Five.”
“Twenty.”
“That’s not how negotiations work, Dominic.”
“It is today. If you can’t take care of yourself, we’ll do it for you. And I can promise you won’t like my way.”
She darted her eyes between Greyson and me, looking for support she wasn’t going to find. She needed to relax, but if the basest form of self-care was all we got, I’d be okay with that, too.
“Fine,” she snapped, hauling the dinky duffel bag over her injured shoulder. I knew from the burning glare she sent us that it was intentional. Stubborn woman.
We hadn’t brought our people here, wanting to stay under the radar. With Greyson in such an uncertain condition, we had to be as close to ghosts as possible. Hence our current suite at the University Med Center instead of a private suite at Seattle General and shitty clothes a nurse had bought us from a local thrift store. Cash wouldn’t find us injured and unprepared.
The door shut quietly behind her, and all three of us cringed. A quiet Mari was a dangerous one.
“Any chance there’s a shower for me too?” Grey asked with a wince.
“If you’re looking for a sponge bath, your nurse just left,” Dominic joked, even as the two of us crawled out of our beds and over to Greyson. It was instinctive, and thankfully, Dominic didn’t make an issue of me helping. He did keep his distance, though, making sure no part of us touched. We’d fucked our girl together before, but God forbid he got my cooties now.
Christ, this was a mess.
“She’s going to freak,” I warned quietly when we stood in front of the bathroom door. Mari was going to panic the second she heard us.
Dominic sighed. “Yeah, I know.”
He’d barely finished knocking when the door whipped open, and Mari’s wide eyes found ours. “Is he?—?”
We must’ve caught her just as she’d climbed in because her hair was still mostly dry. Beads of water slid between her breasts and down her body until my mouth watered as I followed the drops to the promised land. Christ, I needed her on my tongue.
“Goddamn,” Dominic growled, obviously on the same page as me. “You should be illegal.”
“I’m fine. I just need a shower, reina,” Grey interrupted, elbowing Dominic in the stomach. “Can I join you?”
The breath she let out was unsteady, but it firmed up immediately as she pulled him into the room and shut us out.
“Lucky bastard,” Dominic muttered under his breath, moving to his own bag to change. I snorted, then froze when I saw his shoulders tighten.
Dominic’s anger was a living, breathing thing between us, and now that Mari was gone, I expected him to lash out with it. We needed it, honestly. A way to repair the damage I’d caused. Instead, he shook himself off like a bird flicking water from his wings and changed.
Another time, then.
When it was obvious Mari and Greyson were still showering, I called the nurses in to strip and replace the sheets. We’d allowed Dr. Grant, whom we’d brought over from Seattle General, and the nurses we knew to help Greyson, but we watched every move they made with predatory suspicion. After that, we’d bandaged ourselves, handed out our own medicine, and even ordered food to be discreetly delivered to a fake name. Nothing was left to chance, despite the doc vouching for the staff. There were just too many ways we could get screwed here. I couldn’t wait to leave.
The bathroom door opened just as lunch arrived, and Mari helped a weary-looking Greyson back to bed and started to rewrap him.
“You need to eat,” Mari said, piling his plate high once he was a proper mummy. “You have to regain your strength.”
Grey hauled her in for the world’s softest kiss and smiled. “Thank you, baby.”
“Whatever,” she grumbled, taking the plate I’d made her with an appreciative smile and settling in. “Talk, Nate.”
“I walked out of the Aces.”
“Permanently?” Mari asked, acting like my answer didn’t matter, when we both knew it mattered a lot.
“Yes.”
“You have no allegiance to them anymore?”
“No.” I said it firmly, watching the entire time. The slight hitch of her shoulders that told me she was happy, but there was no other acknowledgment. Not from her, anyway.
Dominic leaned forward, food forgotten. “You’re a big shot in the Aces. Your brother’s the fucking leader. Why change your position when you could be set for life if he wins?”
“Because you’re my family.”
He snorted, turning away and taking a vicious bite out of his sandwich, and the ache in my chest grew stronger. What did it say that I missed the asshole who’d been my friend?
“What can you tell us?” Grey asked, and I found it easier to talk past the ingrained fear of Cash than I expected.
I gave them everything. Every location, every warehouse, every dealer on the street. Conversations I’d overheard and plans I thought my brother was making. Cash’s addiction and how bad it was, his tasting process before he took anything, the way he skipped certain foods because they made him uncomfortable. Eventually, we moved on to the Aces that I’d found skimming, the ones that I knew weren’t loyal enough, and the ones that I knew could be turned if possible.
By the end, I’d laid everything Cash-related at their feet, and it felt so fucking good to be free of that burden too.
“Where do the shipments come in?” Mari asked, having long since abandoned her food to pace. “There’s no way Micah would let them in the port.”
Grey looked up from the tablet he’d had in his jacket at the wake, which had luckily survived the ambush, waiting for my response. It felt good to be able to ease their anxiety for once.
“He doesn’t,” I promised, shifting to reach into the pocket of my jacket hanging on the back of my chair.
Dominic looked like he’d jump out of his chair and tackle me. “What are you getting?”
“Proof.”
Pulling out the phones I’d stuffed into my pocket the night of the funeral, I set them all in a line, listing as I went. “This is a clone of Cash’s phone. My original phone from when I lived here. Then the phone that replaced it. This one tracks some of his most-used cars, which he uses for shipments, with a backup, in case I ever lost the first one. The last is for past contacts.”
Mari stared at them inscrutably, opting not to ask about the final one. It showed more trust than she knew, and I appreciated it. “Are any of those traceable?”
“No, they’re all ghosts. Cash didn’t even know I had more than one.”
“How can we trust you with that shit?” Dominic eyed the phones like they were all bombs.
“You’re welcome to take a look at them if you want,” I said, sliding them across the table. “I have nothing to hide.”
“Not anymore, you mean.”
“Dominic,” Mari warned quietly before turning back to me. “Where are the shipments coming in?”
“Tacoma.” It was the only place less than an hour away from Mari’s port that wasn’t run by one of her allies.
Grey frowned. “That’s not as easy to get into.”
No shit. I’d put more bodies in the ground than I’d expected to get Cash a slot at that place. “He needed someplace you wouldn’t look.”
“What else?”
Thinking back on everything I’d said, I realized there was still more—though I was sure there would always be more—but I hesitated. They knew the moles Cash had placed in the other leaders’ empires, but I hadn’t told them about the one in ours. Mari was already so fragile, so hurt. I didn’t want to make it worse, but it wasn’t my decision.
“You have a mole too.”
All three of them tensed, and when it was obvious Mari wouldn’t, Grey asked, “How high up?”
“High.” There was no mistaking the desperation on my angel’s face. She didn’t want to know this, not right now. Her fingers shook where she clutched her shirt. “Are they a danger right this second?”
Not wanting to lie, even inadvertently, I took time to consider it. Did I think the traitor in her midst would move against her right now? No, but soon. Very soon. “You have a little time.”
“Then let’s table it.” I could see how much she couldn’t deal, so I agreed. When she was ready, I’d tell her, and we’d hunt them down together. “Was that it?”
“O’Bannon.”
“What about the Irish fuck?” Dominic asked, balancing his chair on two legs. He’d gotten increasingly angry the longer I talked, but I couldn’t change the past. I could only help them clean it up so our family had a future.
“He sided with Cash,” Mari guessed. I nodded, but she wasn’t surprised. “He’s never really been on my side. We’ll deal with it later. Right now, we need to make a move.”
The loud smack of Dominic’s chair legs hitting the floor stole our attention. “I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but nothing he told us matters now. Cash will be scrambling to move everything out of our reach.”
“Maybe not,” I said. It was possible Cash assumed my loyalty was still with him, or that I’d keep my mouth shut to keep my mother alive. And one look at Mari leaning by the window said she’d already considered that. “Cash knows losses are inevitable. He’ll assume we’re going to hit some of his empire. In fact, I can guarantee he’s planning on it, and he’ll have a trap ready.”
“So, we either hit one or all, no in-between. The quicker we take everything down, the less likely he’ll retaliate against our most vulnerable people.”
Because that was where he’d strike. He’d hit the weakest links and move up from there, if only to kill morale.
Mari tapped her fingers on the counter, falling silent as she thought through everything. I could practically see her mind working. Plans and fallback options, consequences and what a worthy sacrifice would be.
Finally, she looked back at me with a mix of sadness and compassion. “There’s no way to avoid it. We need to move your mom.”
The fact that it was the first part of her plan was telling. She cared. She loved me. She’d forgiven me. It was more than I’d hoped for.
“I know.”
“I’ll go with you,” she offered, sharing a quick glance with Greyson. “Dominic can stay here.”
“Don’t worry about us.” Greyson squeezed her hand before turning to me. “The only thing you didn’t mention was Cash’s cartel contact. What do you know?”
“Nothing.” It was the one secret my brother truly hid from me, and I had been searching for years to figure it out. “Maybe Two-Bit?—”
Mari slashed her hand through the air. “There’s no way he’ll give it up, if he even knows. We’ll need to find some other contacts to figure it out. Maybe Rafael will know.”
“I may have a solution for all our problems.” I snatched one of the phones and sent off a text before I could second-guess myself. Please don’t let this backfire.
“Which one’s that?” Mari asked.
“The past.”
It was nearly two a.m. when we pulled into the parking lot to find Shady Oaks overrun by trucks as big as tanks and an army of men outside.
“I assume the men loaded down with high-caliber weapons are friends of yours,” Mari drawled, hand drifting toward her gun just in case.
For a moment, my heart tripped, wondering if Cash had made his move before I could. Then I saw the tactical gear, the flash of the rifles, and the head of someone I knew almost as well as I knew myself.
“Something like that.”
“Fucking mercs.” I laughed when she rolled her eyes.
In the time since I’d moved away from black ops, I hadn’t spoken a single word to any of my contacts. That was the deal the company had given me.
Sever your connection, and we’ll let you move on. Open your mouth and die.
For as long as I’d been out, I’d done exactly that. Mostly, it was self-preservation, but part of me didn’t want to be involved. Didn’t want to be reminded of everyone I’d lost and what I’d done. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to see the men I’d worked with before, but if facing my demons got Mom safe, I’d do it.
“Is it weird that I’m excited to see this little part of your life?” Mari asked.
I parked the car and turned, taking in the faint smile on her lips that had been absent for the last few days. I couldn’t help myself; I had to taste her.
Wrapping a hand in her hair, I pulled her halfway across the center console until I could take her mouth. Her lips were sweet, the taste of her just as addictive as ever. Like a lifeline, she clung to my arm, giving as good as she got. “I’ll show you anything you want to see,” I said, pulling away.
“I know.” The door slammed behind her as she waited for me in front of our SUV.
“Black!” a deep voice bellowed across the busy parking lot the second I opened the door, and I found myself smiling despite my nerves.
Losing my team had been awful and was still something I struggled with, but seeing Eagle here reminded me of the good times. Playing cards around a fire, celebrating a successful mission, waking up in the middle of the night to their fucking snores. He wasn’t a part of it, necessarily, but he’d always been something close to friendly.
We met in the middle of the parking lot, hands out to shake.
Edward “Eagle” Finn was a giant, with skin as dark as rich, wet earth, eyes to match, and a presence that seemed to vibrate around him.
“Eagle,” I said after he patted me on the back with his huge mitt of a hand.
“Black.” I was man enough to admit he was handsome, just like I could admit I didn’t like him looking at my angel. He’d locked on to Mari immediately, and I had to swallow the urge to drag her close and put my claim on her, but he saw. He always saw. Eagles had the best vision.
He smirked at me, clearly enjoying my territorial moment, before holding a professional hand out to her. “Edward Finn, ma’am.”
Mari had to tip her head back just to meet his eyes. “Marianna Marcosa. Thanks for coming.”
“Anything for Black. Whatcha been up to, bud?”
“Oh, a little espionage. No big deal.” Mari’s answer was dry, but her eyes were warm with laughter when she looked at me.
Eagle’s eyebrows rose when I didn’t contradict her, then he laughed loud and deep. “Why am I not surprised?”
“Because it’s a very Nate thing to do,” Mari answered. “Where are you taking Marjorie?”
“We’ve got a few black sites that no one can get into. One of them is a hospital about this size. Same comfort level, too. It’s typically where we house older agents who have too many secrets and no filter to keep them in anymore, so she’ll have company and safety.”
He said the last bit for me, and some of the guilt I’d been carrying slipped away. Choosing to commit your parent was a hard enough decision, but at least at Shady Oaks, I could see her. That wouldn’t be the case now. She’d be in completely unfamiliar territory, far away from me, and I couldn’t help but wonder if that made me a shit son.
“She deserves the best,” Mari said, picking up speed when she saw my mother huddled by the front door in a blanket.
At first, Mom’s eyes glazed over me, but then she jerked her head back with a small cry. “Nate.”
“Hi, Mom.” I leaned down to hug her, knowing that I might not have another chance to do it. If things didn’t end well with my brother, these could be our last moments. I was so fucking grateful that she remembered me right now.
She pulled back and looked me over. “You’re not sleeping. You need to rest, Nate.”
“I know, Mom. We’ve had a rough time lately.”
At we, she turned to Mari, and I saw the faintest hint of recognition before she grinned. “You got her back, then?”
“He did.” Mari’s smile was just as big, and suddenly, I was grateful for the space we were about to have. Those two together would get into some trouble.
Mom winked. “I hope you made him work for it.”
“I did.”
They didn’t hug, just squeezed each other’s hands with a sense of camaraderie I’d never expected them to feel.
With their moment over, Mom turned back to me. “Your brother?”
“I left.” Not going into the gory details was an easy choice. Just because she didn’t always remember didn’t mean she wouldn’t worry.
“They’re moving me so he can’t keep using me as leverage.”
Thank fuck she was coherent today. I couldn’t imagine moving her on a day when she was struggling with reality. “Are you okay with that?”
“I want you happy and away from him. If that means I’m stuck in a hole somewhere, that’s fine.”
“Not a hole,” Mari promised, glaring at Eagle in warning. “You’ll be taken care of.”
Taking her word as law, Mom reeled me in for a hug that felt more like goodbye than I wanted it to. “I’m proud of you. For everything. It hasn’t been easy, but it seems like it was worth it.”
“Thanks, Mom. It is.”
“It’s time,” Eagle said, quiet but firm. “We need to get out of here before anyone realizes what we’ve done.”
Four trucks had been backed up to the building, each one identical. Three of them were already filled with agents, and the fourth stood open, waiting for my mother.
“I’ll see you soon,” I promised.
“I think I’ll like a change of scenery,” she whispered as her nurse took her arm and helped her to the vehicle. She smiled sadly, her eyes starting to go distant as the door shut behind them, punctuating what I hoped wasn’t the end of our story.
I would see her again. I would be a better son. I just had to get through Cash first.
Eagle stood beside me, and the three of us watched as the trucks pulled out. Each one was bookended by two SUVs full of enough security to take down a small army.
“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Mari said, quietly slipping away. I watched until she was locked inside our vehicle, needing to know she was somewhere protected if she wasn’t within reach.
“Your mom will be safe,” Eagle promised, but I wouldn’t have called if I didn’t think he was capable of that.
When the trucks vanished, each one heading in a different direction, he cleared his throat. “I was told to offer whatever assistance I could. Weapons, intel, bodies. You let me know.”
The offer was genuine, but it had enough strings to hang me with if I let it.
Eagle walked me toward the SUV, stopping before I got in. “If I can offer you a shred of advice? Avoid using the company’s resources if at all possible. I’ll help on my own as much as I can, but if you want to stay out, they should be a last resort. The price you’d have to pay for help this time would be too much for anyone.”
I looked at Mari, head dipped to text something on her phone, and I knew he was right. The company didn’t care about any allegiance but the one I had to them. They’d rip my family away if I let them.
I wanted Mari, my brothers, and the family we’d built, not a life of missions and death and surviving without actually living.
“I’m going to try not to,” I said. “But I’ll do whatever it takes to keep my family alive.”
“Even if it means going back to the life you tried so hard to get out of?”
“Even then.”