Chapter 4
Chapter Four
CORA
Both of my knees were bouncing. My hands were sweaty. Across the street, inside the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services, was my nephew. Ms. Chen had practically bent over backwards to give me a chance to visit with Elias. Of course, it took a little setting up.
I kept picturing a tiny version of my sister. A mass of fine dark hair covering his small head. Dark eyes. Dimples. Ten little fingers and ten little toes. All for kissing and a little neck for blowing raspberries.
I hadn’t even met him yet and I already loved him.
My baby, my heart whispered. My head listed the host of new responsibilities and then promptly agreed with my heart. I didn’t care what he needed or how often, I just knew I wanted to be the one who took care of him and loved him.
I’d tell him about Maya. Make sure he knew she loved him. I’d already decided, no matter what, I wouldn’t even disparage Colter. I wouldn’t lie to Elias, or sugarcoat his father’s shortcomings, but the days of making nasty comments were over.
“Are you ready to meet him?” Jason asked.
I was and wasn’t. What if he didn’t like me?
Yeah, I’d babysat when I was a teenager, but those babies weren’t mine. I had to give them back. This one would be mine forever. I would be the one hiring the babysitter and leaving her with lists of numbers to call and rules he needed to follow.
There was always a premium adult to call for help back then.
Was I premium? An adultier adult? Would I have the answers when I needed them?
I chewed my thumb.
“Cora.” Jason’s voice was soft.
When I didn’t answer, his hand covered mine and I looked at him.
“I support whatever decision you make, but I think you are going to make an excellent mother.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
I closed my eyes and took a few calming breaths. “I’m just… I don’t know. Terrified. What if he doesn’t like me?”
Jason chuckled. “That’s not possible.”
“You don’t know that.”
His gaze caught mine. “Yes, I do.”
It felt like his steely gaze was reinforcing my bones. I swallowed hard. “Okay. I guess I’m ready.”
“Perfect timing,” Jason murmured, nodding toward the street behind us.
I turned to see Ms. Chen climbing out of a practical gray Honda, adjusting her blazer before reaching back for what looked like a large purse and some paperwork.
Even from a distance, her movements seemed efficient but unhurried—exactly what I needed in someone who was about to supervise the most important meeting of my life.
“Keep the car running,” Thomas said to the driver.
He exited the SUV, scanned the area, and motioned to Jason that it was clear. He stepped out, walked around the back of the vehicle, and opened my door.
Ms. Chen appraised Jason and Thomas with her eyes, then her gaze landed on me. “Ms. Williams… and these gentlemen…?”
“This is Jason Georgiou and Thomas Vasil. They’re…”
Jason stuck his hand out. “Supportive friends. It’s nice to meet you.”
She shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you too.” Turning to me, she asked, “Are you ready to meet Elias?” The corners of her eyes crinkled. “It’s perfectly normal to be nervous the first time. I’ll be right there with you.”
She shifted her folder to one arm. “I should mention, the Hendersons—that’s his foster family—are lovely people. They’ve been caring for Elias since the accident. I’ll be observing today, but try not to think about that. Just focus on getting to know him.”
“How is he doing? I mean, is he okay? Healthy?” The questions tumbled out before I could stop them.
“He’s doing well, eating regularly, sleeping through most nights. He’s a calm baby, very sweet-natured. The Hendersons have been wonderful with him.”
“That’s good. That’s really good.” I hesitated. “How long will we have today? I don’t want to overwhelm him, but…”
“We’ll probably stay about an hour today, maybe a bit longer if things go well. Don’t worry if he seems fussy at first. New people can take some adjustment, even for babies.”
My stomach fluttered. “What if I don’t know what to do? I mean, I’ve babysat before, but this is different. This is…” I trailed off, not sure how to finish.
“Just be yourself, Ms. Williams. Talk to him, hold him if you’d like. I know this is overwhelming, but you’re doing the right thing by being here.”
She started walking toward the building, and we fell into step beside her. “Before we go in, I should mention that Mr. Briggs will also have visitation tomorrow morning. I wanted you to know so there are no surprises at the hearing.”
My stomach flipped at the thought. I’d seen the cruel side of that man, and thinking my innocent little nephew in his hands terrified me. “Will he come here too?”
“Yes, the Hendersons will bring him here for Mr. Briggs’s visit. Things will be a bit stricter for him, and we’ll have an officer present.”
I almost wanted to hug her. At least someone would be present if Colter tried anything.
We reached the door, and Ms. Chen led us through a lobby area to a smaller room.
“This is one of our family visit rooms,” she explained. “It’s more comfortable than my office, and we have some toys and baby items here.”
A woman was waiting inside with Elias. “Hi. I’m Pam Henderson, his foster mom.”
“Hi, Pam. Thank you for bringing him here,” I said.
“Absolutely. He is such a sweet baby.” She chuckled. “Well, all babies are, but really, he is such a good baby.” She lifted Elias from his carrier and turned toward me.
My lungs burned and my chest tightened. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. All I could do was stare. He looked exactly like my sister… except for the shock of red hair covering his head.
“Are you okay?” asked Ms. Chen.
I gave a short nod. “Yeah, he’s just… so beautiful.”
Tears were pouring down my cheeks. My feet were moving before my brain registered it. The second he was cradled in my arms, every question, every reservation I had… was gone.
I knew right then and there, Elias was mine. The immediate flood of love and joy… the protectiveness I had was overwhelming. I would kill for this baby, bare-handed, with a smile on my face, a song in my heart, and I’d dance on their grave when I got out of prison.
Elias was my baby. I was his mother. End of discussion.
“Hi,” I said softly. “I’m your Aunt Cora.”
He cooed and gurgled.
I laughed at the sheer cuteness.
“He’s beautiful, Cora,” Jason said. “Amazing.”
I looked up at him. “Isn’t he? He looks just like my sister. Except for the hair.”
“I’m guessing he got that from Colter.” He slid his finger into Elias’s hand. His fingers clamped down, and he cooed again.
I chuckled. “I think he likes you.”
Elias yawned, and I shifted him in my arms.
“You can sit down if you’d like,” Ms. Chen said and motioned to a rocker in the corner.
I crossed the small distance and sat with Elias.
“You are so cute, but I bet you know that, huh?”
He wiggled a little and stretched.
“He’s really taking to you well,” Pam said.
I looked at her. “Really?”
“Yes, really. He’s been a fantastic baby, but he hasn’t looked this relaxed since he got here.”
My chest swelled with love.
For a moment, all I did was watch him. Move, wiggle, breathe. I ran my hand over his head, my fingers through his hair. My fingers over his cheeks and eyebrows. He was just so perfect.
I marveled at how a person so small could make such a huge impact so quickly. But he had.
“Your momma loved you so much. When you get older, I’m going to tell you all about her. How she loved to dip her fries in ice cream. She loved roller skating and riding bikes.”
With a sniff, I looked up. “Does he have a favorite toy?”
Pam smiled. “He seems to love his stuffed hippo. It has a switch on the back, and it makes a sound like a heartbeat.”
I looked back down at him. “Your momma slept with you on her chest, didn’t she?” I looked back up. “When we were kids, we had this cat. At night, she’d take him to bed with her and plant him right on her chest. He died last year, but he always slept on her chest.”
“That could explain it. It seems to soothe him when he’s being fussy.”
The next hour passed in a blur of soft conversations, gentle cooing, and me learning everything I could about my nephew.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Williams, but it’s been over an hour now,” Ms. Chen said. “I’m afraid the visit has concluded.”
I looked up. “Already?” She may as well have taken an axe to my heart. I didn’t want to give him back. “Could I get a picture with him?”
Ms. Chen smiled. “Sure.”
Before I could even ask, Jason had his phone out. “Ready?”
I adjusted Elias and smiled. “Ready.”
After Jason took several photos, the reality hit me. I had to let him go.
“Here, let me take him,” Pam said gently, reaching out.
I pressed a soft kiss to Elias’s forehead. “I’ll see you soon, sweet boy. I promise.”
Watching Pam take him felt like losing a piece of my heart.
Once the visit was over, I followed Ms. Chen out of the room and into the hallway. “That was a lovely visit, Ms. Williams. It went very well.”
“Do you think the judge will let me have him?”
“You did everything right today, Ms. Williams. I’ll be documenting that Elias responded well to you and that you showed genuine care and understanding of his needs. Ultimately, it’s the judge’s decision, but today certainly worked in your favor.”
“Okay, thank you.”
Jason’s hand came to rest on the small of my back, and we walked to the SUV. He held the door, and I slipped inside.
A moment later, Jason and Thomas got in.
“You okay?” Jason asked.
“I think so, but I feel like I’m leaving my heart in that building.” I turned to him. “I don’t know how to explain it. The moment I saw him, he was mine. How can I love someone so much, so quickly?”
Jason smiled. “I don’t know, but if that CPS worker saw what I saw, there is no way the judge will give him to Colter. Absolutely no way.”
I was torn between wanting to be optimistic and dread pooling in my gut.
Colter wasn’t a good guy, but even Mr. Stanton said it was going to be tougher than he thought, and half the town was too scared to say anything against him. Who was to say he wouldn’t meddle in things and tip the scales in his favor?
“I hope not.” As we reached the shopping district, we passed a boutique. “Could we stop for a minute? When I packed, I wasn’t thinking of a funeral in a biker bar. I need something other than the dress I brought.”
Jason asked the driver to park and he found a spot a few shops down.
“I promise I won’t be long.”
“And you won’t be going alone. I don’t think a suit or dress pants will work for a biker bar.”
Probably not, but he would sure look sexy in it. He always did. Until this morning, the most dressed down I’d ever seen him was a T-shirt and sweats the day he left the hospital. His uniform seemed to be dark dress pants and long-sleeved button-downs. In the summer, he’d just roll them up.
“What else will you wear? I just assumed you were allergic to denim.” I grinned.
He chuckled. “No, I’m not. I just never had anywhere to wear them.”
Thomas got out of the car and motioned for Jason.
I nodded toward Thomas. “You know, I don’t think he has to do that all the time here. This isn’t Chicago.”
He glanced at his best friend and back to me. “No, but we are in a border town, and there are people I’ve done business with who may not feel as though they were dealt with fairly, especially when my father was in charge.”
“Oh. Right.”
“You ready to do a little shopping?”
“Yeah.”
Shopping for funeral clothes wasn’t how I’d imagined spending my afternoon, but nothing about the last few days had gone as expected. The only certainty I had was that little red-haired boy who’d stolen my heart in an instant.