Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
CORA
I knew Jason wasn’t being honest with me.
He’d returned to the house long after it’d turned dark, filthy and evasive. With some ridiculous story about a flat tire.
Two days later, he was still being secretive, and it was eating at me.
I just couldn’t figure out why. I mean, I was used to him being cagey at times when we were in Chicago.
At least when I first started working there.
It hadn’t taken long to figure out that his business wasn’t entirely… legitimate.
I didn’t care. He’d been good to me and helped me keep my apartment. That’s what mattered.
I shoved the bottle brush into the opening of one of Elias’s bottles with a little more force than necessary, as if taking my frustration out on it would magically fix my mood.
Elias had picked up on my agitation too. It’d been nearly impossible to calm him down for his afternoon nap. Finally, I’d set him in the swing and that’d done the trick.
My lips pinched together as I scrubbed the bottle even harder.
“What did that bottle do to you?” His voice came from behind me.
“It was dirty and wouldn’t tell me where it’d been.”
That was sort of true. It’d shown up on the counter roughly ten minutes ago with some sort of alien life form growing in it. I should have just thrown it away, but the practical side of me couldn’t just toss a perfectly good, albeit nasty, bottle away.
“Maybe it isn’t telling you where it’s been because it’s an inanimate object.” He chuckled.
When I didn’t laugh, he sighed.
“Look…”
I turned on him, bottle brush in hand, pointing it at him. “No, you look. I’m a big girl. I know Colter is a bad guy. I know you…”
His eyes narrowed. “You know I what?”
“Aren’t just the owner of a construction company. I see the type of people that come and go at the office. The fact that you carry a gun. I’m not dumb.”
In seconds, he stormed across the kitchen, standing in front of me, towering over me, menacing. “Don’t open doors that are better left closed, Cora. It’s better to be dumb than dead.”
I shrank back. At his angriest, he had never looked at me the way he was looking at me.
For a moment, I was in such shock that I just stared at him. I didn’t know what to think or to say. This wasn’t the man I knew. The one who let me cry until I fell asleep, changed dirty diapers, and kissed me with such tenderness I didn’t want to be kissed by anyone else.
“If you’ll recall, the door was thrown wide open earlier this year.” I couldn’t keep the wobble out of my voice or the tears from streaking down my face. “I’ve still got the nightmares to prove it!”
Instead of standing there like a hurt idiot, I pitched the bottle brush into the sink and bolted for the stairs. I didn’t stop running until I was in Elias’s room with the door shut.
Elias startled and began crying. I wilted and groaned.
Elias was a wonderful little guy, sweet and bubbly.
But the older he got, the crankier he became when he missed a nap or didn’t get a whole one.
For a three-month-old, he could be a real grumpy pants at times.
And I’d just interrupted his midday nap.
I locked the nursery door, pushed off, and walked to him, gathering him up in my arms. “Hey, it’s okay. Momma is here.”
If Anna was here, I’d have run to her. She would’ve straightened Jason out, but she’d returned to Chicago with Ari for an OB appointment.
I could’ve texted her. I’m sure she wouldn’t have minded, but I didn’t want to drag her into this spat with Jason.
Not when she was doing something so sweet and special.
So, I did what any normal person would do. I sat down in the glider with my baby and cried while my mind went in a hundred different directions. Why had I let him come with me in the first place?
Because whether I wanted to admit it or not, I’d fallen for him months ago.
I couldn’t not bring him, because when he was near, I felt safe.
When he was near, the world was manageable.
I didn’t have to worry about him. I could make sure he was taken care of…
because most of the time he didn’t take care of himself.
I lifted Elias to my shoulder and patted his back, stood, and walked around the room. He dropped his head on my shoulder and gummed his fist, blowing bubbles and gurgling. It was almost as if he were trying to soothe me and not the other way around.
Maybe we were soothing each other. The thought lifted my spirits all of two seconds.
After walking the equivalent of a trip around the earth, I laid on the floor with Elias as he played on his activity mat until the evening sky had turned purple and gold.
Elias kicked his feet against one of the dangling stuff animals with the bell on it and giggled. He’d be getting hungry soon and I needed to figure out a way to leave the room without running into Jason.
A knock came from the door.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” I called out from the floor.
“What did I do to you?” Thomas’s muffled voice answered.
I gave Elias a crinkle toy to keep him occupied, then got up and cracked the door open just a fraction. “What?”
He held up his hands. “No need to bite my head off.”
A deep breath. “Thomas… what do you want?”
He held up a bottle. “You’ve been in here a few hours and it’s close to dinnertime for him.”
My lips tipped up. Lifesaver. “Thanks. I’m surprised you remembered.”
His eyes found mine. “I didn’t. Jason didn’t think you’d want to see him right now, so he made it.” A tinge of humor lit in his eyes. “He just thought if he tried to give it you, you might chuck it at him.”
Well, he wasn’t wrong there. The sweet, wonderful… jerk. “You tell him…” I grumbled a few choice words as I took the bottle from Thomas. “This doesn’t make things right.” I snapped the last few words.
Thomas’s gaze flicked to the side, almost like he was side-eyeing someone, and back to me. He leaned way in and whispered, “He cares about you. More than he’s willing to admit.”
Someone who cared about me wouldn’t be keeping secrets. “Right.”
“Hasn’t he earned at least a little of your trust? A little grace?” He threw the questions like grenades and casually walked away.
With a grumble, I shut the door and locked it again. I returned to Elias and pulled him close as I laid next to him, feeding him.
Why did Thomas have to say that?
Now I was angry with myself. Trust and grace? Jason had gone above and beyond, and the second he did something I didn’t like, I threw all the wonderful things out the window.
He’d told me that night he wouldn’t keep it from me forever. He just needed time. That as soon as he had solid information, he’d tell me. He just didn’t want to get my hopes up and see me hurt.
What did I do? Had a complete meltdown.
A tear leaked from my eye, and I swiped it away. I’d never been so disappointed in myself. And embarrassed.
How was I ever going to earn his trust and respect back? He’d deserved better from me, and I’d failed miserably.