Chapter 29 Wylder
WYLDER
Everyone is showered, fucked, and fed, and now we’re all in my office having a drink. It’s much needed after everything.
I may have poured myself a triple. Downed it. Poured another.
Society would judge me, but I find I don’t give a fuck. Not with Neo snuggled on my lap, his head resting against my collarbone. The hand not holding his prosecco is stroking along my forearm, like he’s reminding himself that I’m here. That we both made it out. That we’re safe.
Everyone around the table has a glass in front of them. Even Jules is imbibing. He’s not on Harley’s lap, but that doesn’t stop his eyes from darting over to him every few seconds. He, too, needs reassurance that the one he cares about is safe.
“All right, listen up.” Matthias raps his knuckles on the table, taking the helm. I’m not bothering with it. Even if I weren’t too tipsy to think coherently, I’m finding it hard to care about being in charge. Having Neo in my life is teaching me that I need to let go.
Almost losing him has taught me that it needs to happen now. I won’t waste another second of my life with him by worrying about shit someone else can take care of. That’s not to say I’m stepping back entirely…but letting one of the others take charge occasionally? That, I can do.
Matthias fixes me with a hard stare. “We need to have a discussion about our father.”
I groan internally. Then again, maybe I should’ve taken charge of this meeting. Then I might have escaped what is about to follow.
Knowing my siblings though, that was unlikely to ever happen.
Cade lights up a cigar. I don’t know when this became a thing with him, but apparently, he’s gone down the rabbit hole. “Yeah, about how Wylder murdered him.”
“Yes, without letting us help.” Matthias nods. Wyatt is leaning into him, their hands clasped tightly. I can’t believe I used to think that this was ridiculous, that the overbearing displays of affection were too much. Now I can’t imagine not wrapping Neo in my arms and holding on tight.
Just as I am now.
“It really isn’t fair,” Samson grumps, fiddling with his dagger. “I mean, I would have loved a turn with him.”
“Same,” Dalton adds darkly.
I finish my drink before responding, knowing I need all the liquid courage to get through this. “I’m sorry for not including you and for keeping it from you for all this time. But I’m not sorry I did it.”
Harley is the one to come to my defense. “I mean, I get why he did it. Dad was super shitty, and I didn’t even get the worst of it.”
“Why didn’t you let us help?”
That question comes from Cade. His expression is pinched, and Ansel is drawing soothing circles on the palm of his hand. Guilt fills me. I’m not surprised that he’s the one struggling to come to terms with it the most.
I wasn’t able to shield him as much as I wanted to.
“I’m sorry,” I say finally, meeting his eyes. “I truly am, Cade. But this…weight I’ve carried, I didn’t want you having to endure it too.”
“What weight? I’ve killed more than the rest of you combined.”
“There’s a difference,” I say quietly, explaining the same thing I once told Neo. “Killing the one who trained us, who created us to be this way, that’s one thing. But killing the man who once loved us? Who used to twirl Mom around the kitchen while she laughed? That’s another entirely.”
A heavy silence falls, and I think they finally understand it. Why I chose to do it alone. Why I kept it from them for so long.
“Okay, I get it,” Cade says eventually. “But at the end of the day, he was a cunt, and he deserved to die.”
“He was,” Matthias replies, and then adds, “I also understand why you did it, but, Wylder, you need to stop shouldering all the responsibility alone.” His voice is stern, his eyes boring into mine.
“So, moving forward, you won’t be making these kinds of decisions on your own. We’re all going to be there. Equally.”
“Well said,” Neo says softly.
“Everyone agree?” Matthias asks, and everyone nods, even Samson.
“Good. Now—” Matthias pauses and moves to refill my drink. He hands it to me, and I glance up at him. “—a toast to our brother, who has carried The Firm on his shoulders for far too long; an Atlas in all the most endearing ways. Thank you for what you did for us, Brother. We won’t ever forget.”
My eyes sting as I lift my glass toward the room and then swallow some of the liquid down, letting the burn in my throat carry the tears away with it.
When I’m able to speak without my voice cracking, I say, “I would have done it all over again. To protect you from the worst of him. May he rot in hell.”
“To hell. Hope his face has fallen off,” Samson murmurs.
“Hope it’s disintegrated in a vat of oil,” Cade adds, and I feel Neo shiver in my arms.
“Enough,” I bark, and then tuck my face into Neo’s neck. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just…didn’t want to think about skin floating around in a vat. You know?”
“Yeah.” I press a kiss to his steady pulse and then look up, seeing everyone talking in loud whispers.
“What’s going on?” I narrow my eyes.
Cade waggles his eyebrows. “I won the betting pool. I was the closest.”
“No, I did,” Dalton replies. “It was when they started fucking.”
“No, it’s when they said I love you,” Cade replies, which was tonight.
I tilt my head. “How did you know tonight was the first time?”
“Because Neo said, ‘You know that, right?’” Cade smirks triumphantly. “Which means that was the first time. See, I’m smart too!”
“You’re very smart,” Ansel says, patting his hand. “We definitely won.”
Neo rolls his eyes. “You’re just taking his side because you’ll benefit from him winning.”
Ansel’s lips twitch. “Can you blame me? Have you seen how high the pot is? We won’t have to worry about money ever again.”
“Must be nice,” Neo says in a sing-song voice, before the two of them dissolve into giggles.
My brothers and I are exchanging confused looks, and I know why. Neither Neo nor Ansel needs to worry about money ever again. Even without the pot, Cade alone has more than they could spend in a lifetime.
Wyatt clears his throat. “Sometimes I think it’s harder to get used to having money than it is not having it. You constantly live in fear that you’ll wake up one day and it’ll all have disappeared.”
Neo and Ansel’s laughter fades away. Cade grabs Ansel’s chin and forces him to look at him. “You don’t worry about that, right, butterfly?”
“Not really,” Ansel says, but his rosy cheeks call him a liar. “I mean, like Wyatt said, it’s a lot to get used to.”
“We’ve had a lifetime of being used to a very different…environment,” Neo adds. “You can’t blame us.”
I kiss his cheek. “That’s okay. You have the rest of your life to acclimatize.”
He giggles and rolls his eyes, but I’m being deadly serious.
Now that he’s mine, I’m never letting him go. But if he needs time to get used to that too, that’s okay.
We have all the time in the world.
“We do need another betting pool,” Dalton says, steering the conversation back on course. I shoot him a grateful look in thanks. “I’m thinking Harley and Jules should be next.”
Harley chokes on a sip of his drink as Jules blushes. “Non. It is not like this between us. We are friends. That is all.”
Harley flushes, and something a lot like hurt moves across his face. “Friends. That’s right.”
Samson snorts. “Friends who wanna bone.”
Harley straightens as Jules slinks down in his chair. “You know what? Maybe you’ll be next, Samson. You’re going to find someone, and you’re going to be insufferable.”
“Never gonna happen.” Samson yawns. “I fucking hate everyone.”
Neo chuckles, enjoying the turn of conversation much more than what was being discussed previously.
“You never know, Brother,” Matthias says. “Your person could be waiting out there for you.”
Samson flips him off and then turns his body, staring at the fire crackling in the fireplace.
And I turn my gaze back to Neo, who is leaning back against me.
“Are you buzzed? I think I may be. That whiskey was strong.”
“I’m never buzzed,” I reply.
Neo grins. “You literally slurred the word buzzed.”
“I never slur.”
“You did. Just now.”
He wiggles against me, and I hold him closer. “Come on, brat. Let’s get to bed.”
He laughs and slides off my lap. “Does bed mean fucking? Because if so, then yes, I want that very much.”
I stand up quickly, listing to the right slightly. Is the floor wonky?
I try to take a step, and the floor tilts further. There’s definitely something wrong with it.
Neo catches me, his arm looping around my waist. “Yeah, all right. I think you’re more than buzzed. I changed my mind. I think you’re drunk.”
“I am not. I am…pre-fectly fine.”
He giggles, and my lips quirk up at the sight of him. Even after everything we went through in the last twenty-four hours, he looks so fucking happy.
“Love you,” I say into his ear, and his cheeks flush.
“Love you too. Now take me to bed so we can go to sleep. And when we wake up, you can fuck me.”
I grumble, but his hand slips into mine and he pulls me forward. Everyone lets us go, and for the first time in ages, I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. I don’t need to wrap anything up. My brothers can take care of it.
For the first time in my life, I can breathe.
I go to bed fully planning on insisting that I’m fine to fuck Neo now.
Unfortunately, that argument is ruined by the fact that I pass out as soon as my body hits the sheets.
I awaken the next morning to a warm mouth around my cock.
“Oh fuck, Neo,” I pant, my hand immediately going to his hair. “What a way to wake up.”
He pulls off, stroking my shaft gently as he grins up at me. “How are you feeling? Any hangover?”
“No,” I say, jerking his hair to try and get him back where he was. “I’m fine.”
Neo lets me tug him back into place, sucking hard until my toes are curling and I’m coming down his throat. “Holy shit. What brought that on?”
“Well, I woke up horny,” he says, crawling up my body to flop onto my chest. “And I want you in the best mood possible.”