Chapter 1
“Please, please wake up…” I whisper to Jamie but I know he can’t hear me. He can’t do anything about it.
The amount of blood covering his little body breaks me apart. I don’t know how I’m going to go on without him or his mother. They are everything to me. My chest aches at the thought of going on with life without them. How can I live it when they’re not here?
Suddenly, my world alternates and I watch my wife, Carmen with our three year old son in her arms as we stand here, in a place where there’s a glass wall between us.
Mine is submerged in darkness with them being the only light that gives me a chance to navigate.
Carmen places her hand on the glass with tears running down her face yet she’s smiling at me.
Jamie isn’t looking at me, instead he’s wrapped around his mother with his head on her shoulders.
“It’ll be okay, Ric…” Carmen whispers but I shake my head. I know it’s a lie. “It really will be. You’ll do fine without us but we’ll always be with you. Isn’t that right, Jamie? Say bye to daddy.” Carmen kisses Jamie’s temple and I want to hold him as he falls asleep in my arms yet I can’t.
“Don’t go.” I’ve never begged anyone for anything in my life. Never but right now, I don’t care. I want my family back with me. That’s all I need.
Carmen watches me with her soft brown eyes and that easy smile on her face that made me fall in love with her in the first place. Jamie looks at me resembling his mother. He waves at me. Both my hands come up on the glass wishing I could get through to them.
“Let me come with you two. I have to. You’re my family.” I whisper.
“You can’t come where we’re going, Ric.” Carmen whispers. “Not now. Maybe one day…one day, Ric.”
“FUCK!” I yell out but neither my wife nor my son flinch. They just watch me as they are the better part of me.
“I love you, Dean,” Carmen loved calling me by my middle name. “I will always love you and live in your heart. Always.” She whispers as she begins to walk away.
“No!” My fists comes up slamming into the glass wall. “No!”I yell. “Come back, Carmen! JAMIE! COME BACK! You can’t leave!” I yell out not caring who the hell is around or what.
My fists rain against the glass wall but nothing. I can’t get through. The rage takes over, enveloping me in the sort of anger that cripples a man with madness. That’s what I feel and it’s so strong that I choke on it.
My mouth opens and I scream out.
Everything is so strong that I startle myself awake. Someone knocks on my door and then they open it. My assistant, Shantel walks in and she runs over to me.
“Are you okay, Mr. Crowne?” She hovers near my bed but not close to where it’ll look inappropriate.
“Yeah,” I lie, clearing my throat. She isn’t my therapist for me to tell her that I dream of my wife and son every night.
That I think of them, every single second that I’m awake.
That I thought about joining them the first time I watched their bodies being embraced by the dirt.
But I changed my mind because the animal responsible for killing my son and wife deserved to get dragged through the earth then to hell with me.
My wife believed in heaven. For a while, I agreed with her.
She made it possible for me to think that one day, someday when I’m gone, there was something else in store for us but now, it’s gone. I realized what it was. She was my heaven and now that she’s gone, it’s hell.
“Is there anything you need me to get you?” Shantel pulls me out of my misery filled thoughts.
“Just get me Cassius,” I instruct as I slip out of my bed. Shantel moves back, clearing her throat because I’m not dressed appropriately. She’s my private personal assistant, it doesn’t get more personal than this. “Tell him to meet me at the prison. That killer comes out today.”
“Yes, sir.” She replies as I walk away towards my shower.
Once I remove my boxers, I step into the shower and a smile forms on my face.
Finally, my torture can begin. I’ve never loathed a person like I loathe this bastard woman.
No, she’s not a woman, she’s a murderer.
That’s it and that’s all. It’s been five years since Carmen has been gone and my grief has stayed as anger only.
That anger has transformed into loathing …
for one specific person. Juliana Hart, that heartless bitch.
I don’t give a damn that it was deemed an accident.
It really doesn’t matter to me, all that matters is that once she’s served her purpose with the law, she finishes the rest of her life sentence with me, in my prison.
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” My best friend, who is my personal lawyer, Cassius asks while I wait outside of the prison gate.
“Yes, Cassius, this is what I want to do.” I say, giving him a sideways glare.
“Are you ready for the media backlash?”
“Fuck the media. This isn’t about them. If I want to do what I want to her, it’s my fucking business.”
“Seriously, Ric, this shit isn’t going to end well.
Didn’t you do enough when she was in prison?
” Cassius shakes his head at me then continues to look over.
“She’s young and she can try to do something with her life.
You even went as far as taking her child that she birthed in there and you’re raising him as your own.
You named him Alaric, for fuck’s sake. She doesn’t even know her son survived, does she? ”
Schooling my features is hard as I look at Cassius with disgust so deep, it could appear to be towards him, when it’s not.
“She’s old enough to get this punishment…” I pause. “That SHE deserves. Plus, I’m taking back everything she took from me. Ricky is my son since she took my son away.”
“And she’s the wife that she took away from you?” Cassius asks with judgment all over his face.
“Yes, asshole, she is. She won’t ever replace my wife but she will experience the worst part of me until I’m ready to go to hell right along with her. There’s no heaven for us.”
“Us who?”
“That heartless monster and I. There’s no such peace that’ll ever settle us. When it’s all said and done, I’m dragging her to hell with me.”
“What about Ricky?”
This brings a small smile to my face. “Alaric is my precious angel.”
“This isn’t going to end well.” Cassius says and I shrug.
“It didn’t begin well.”
Cassius shakes his head as he finally steps out of the car and walks over to the gate waiting for her to come out.
Welcome to your hell.