Chapter 42
Ican’t get Juliana out of my head…
I shouldn’t have marked her but now, that’s all I can stare at it. I haven’t given anyone a hickey since high school and now, as she sits across from me eating a fucking salad, I can’t help but notice it forming. I wonder when she’ll notice it.
“There’s something we need to discuss.” I pull myself away from that urge I’m feeling to feel her skin against my lips.
“The kissing.” She states.
“No captain obvious… something much less likely to piss me the fuck off again.”
Juliana’s eyes widen but she says nothing else. I can see that she’s scrambling to think about what the fuck has pissed me off that she did recently outside of pack a fucking punch with her kisses. Fuck, have I ever wanted to kiss someone so badly? Ever?
“Then what is it? Is this why you closed the restaurant down?”
“Again… captain obvious.”
“Shut up, Ricky.” Juliana says and as if she realized what she said, she drops her fork mid lifting up to her month. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean that.”
I don’t say anything for a while then I nod.
“Learn to back your shit, Mrs Crowne or else I’m going to have to think you’re becoming weak on me and I don’t need a weak Mrs Crowne. You got that?”
“Sure?” She says with a question.
“What happened to that woman back in that forsaken town that’s getting destroyed as we speak? The one who had some fucking balls? Now ever since you thought you were hooking me and Mia up together, you’ve fallen back in the shadows. Straighten your shit, Juju.”
Juliana’s eyes tell me she wants to lash out but she doesn’t. Instead she changes the subject.
“You said you wanted to talk about something?”
“Yes, Edwin.”
Everything in her freezes as if I was the cause of what Edwin did.
“Wha—, what about hi-, him?”
“I’m going to kill him or bury him alive somewhere so deep, he’ll never be able to crawl back up for air.”
“Why?”
“Because remember…I know and I made you a promise, Juliana.”
It’s not like Cassius saying it to me was the first time I heard it or learned about it but it’s just that something in me wanted to do something.
Anything but my anger was winning and now, he’s right…
something has shifted. It’s not that I care or like her but she’s my son’s mother…
if he grows up and finds out I did nothing about that bastard, how will he look at me?
“Know what?”
“Everything. All the things you kept to yourself. Every single fucking thing.”
Her body visibly shakes and she tries to remain calm but that’s not happening.
“I can’t…” she clutches her chest and tries to breathe.
I know what’s happening, she’s having a panic attack. Dad used to have them all the time and I always wondered why.
Standing, I rush over to her side and hold her hands in mine.
“Juliana, you need to breathe.”
“I, I, I … can’t.”
She shakes her head as tears fall down her face.
“You can. You fucking can.”
I try to have her mimic my slow breathing but she’s not registering it, she can’t seem to figure it out or hear me.
“No, n-, he’s everywhere.” Juliana sobs trying her damndest to fight it but she can’t control herself.
“He’s nowhere, Juliana. I’m everywhere, me.” I grab the nape of her neck and place my forehead on hers. “Don’t fuck with me, Juliana. Edwin is nowhere in your vicinity or mind. I’m everywhere. Me, Alaric Dean Crowne.”
“No…” her breathing doesn’t improve and I know she’s trying but that’s probably what’s sending her further into a panic attack.
If it’s one other thing I know is to distract someone when they’re having a panic attack.
Lowering my head, I plant a soft kiss on her lips but she doesn’t respond then I tentatively do it again and again until she’s panicking less but it doesn’t stop …
until I kiss her this time knowing why I’m doing it.
Juliana grabs my face in her hands as she kisses me back with so much fervor that I pull away.
“You kissed me?” Juliana asks, exasperated almost. “Again.”
“I had to.”
“Had to?”
“Yeah,” I say, looking at her and soothing her with a soft stroke of my thumb against the back of her neck. “You needed a distraction and this helps. Plus, you stop breathing every time I kiss you.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Don’t make me test it out again.”
“I need to use the restroom!” Juliana stands up, alarmed.
“Okay.”
I take a step back as she power walks to the bathroom. I shake my head and sit back down. I flag the waiter ordering a drink, I’m going to need it.