Chapter 51
Winnie watched Ollie pass by quietly, and the blank expression on the man’s face, which seemed to appear anytime her Boss wasn’t talking to someone, set off plenty of alarm bells in her head.
Something was obviously very wrong. And she could only assume it involved Noble, since the man hadn’t shown up all day.
Winnie would have asked Jahla what the fuck happened, if she wasn’t also acting odd.
What was worse, the two were in fact acting even odder around each other, making her think that the Head Librarian was somehow also involved in whatever had happened.
Yet it wasn't only her, but somehow…also Ollie’s cat, Red.
Because Ollie seemed to be, for some reason, avoiding his cat.
It was safe to say, Winnie’s imagination was running wild.
Gnawing on her bottom lip, she glanced at the clock on the wall beside her.
Five minutes…she had five minutes before her desk would be overrun by the little demons they called children. It would be tight, but if she hurried, she could possibly make it to Percy and back in time.
Winnie hesitated for just a second more, before rushing from her chair and around her desk, taking off towards the stairs.
Without paying attention to anyone or anything around her, she power-walked as fast as her legs could, because Winnie did not run.
Bouncing up the steps once she reached them, she turned right when she got to the second floor.
Heading down the hall, Winnie took a left through the gap in the hall divider, heading through the open doors of the largest fiction book section on that floor.
On reaching Percy’s desk, which was against the wall to the right of the door, she was about to ask if the man knew what the hell was up with Ollie, Jahla, and Red, but she hesitated when she noticed how still Percy was.
Frowning, Winnie just stared, noting how he continued to peer off to the left, as if she wasn’t even there, or as if he was…
frozen. He… Percy didn’t…even look like he was breathing.
Swallowing hard, Winnie glanced around the room, and her heart started to race when she saw that everyone in there was the same…frozen and unmoving…silent, with no sounds of life at all. What…was happening?
Winnie flinched and looked back at Percy when he suddenly yelped, “Holy shit, Winnie!? Where the fuck did you come from?”
The man was clutching his chest and staring at her as if she had just appeared out of thin air.
“Um…the stairs…?” she said slowly, before awkwardly clearing her throat. “Where else would I have—ha…?”
Her gaze flicked around the room once more, seeing that everyone was moving, breathing, and making sounds again, as if nothing had happened, before being drawn to the clock on the wall behind Percy’s desk.
A few seconds…the clock showed that only a few seconds had passed from when she’d left her desk.
Yet…that was impossible. It took far longer just to reach the stairs, let alone get to the top of them.
Winnie gave her head a shake. No, it was…
nothing. What she was thinking was impossible, and quite honestly, ridiculous.
The clock was obviously wrong. It being slightly off meant there was absolutely no reason for her to bother checking the digital one on her wrist to prove otherwise.
She did not need to give in to any sort of paranoia.
“Ah, did you need something?” Percy asked hesitantly.
Winnie looked back at the man, and opened her mouth to ask her question once again, but floundered, and instead, she slowly said, “No…uh, it’s nothing.”
After turning abruptly, she hurried back downstairs, determined to forget and ignore whatever the fuck just happened. The sooner she was back at her desk, the sooner she could do just that. Though…maybe it would be a good idea to remove the clock from her wall?
Noble stared at the setting sunlight filtering through his kitchen window, and he had to say, it seemed far too cheery for how fucked up shit was at the moment. And he wasn’t even talking about the twenty new stitches he had.
He had regrets, yet…he wasn’t sure if they were the right ones.
He hated that he’d hurt Ollie, that he’d made the man cry.
And he really hated that now, in Ollie’s eyes, he would likely forever be his enemy, or someone he should fear.
Yet…even as he reflected on all the choices he had made, the one that had been most profoundly altering, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it.
That knock on the door really had changed everything, having found him at his lowest moment.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Noble peered over at the simple wooden door, staring blurrily through the haze of alcohol that had failed to rid him of his internal anguish.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Swallowing thickly, he stumbled to his feet. His path to the door was anything but straight, yet he made it eventually—after tripping a few times over discarded empty bottles.
Noble pulled the door open just as the next knock hit, and staring blankly at the blond-haired stranger on the other side, he slurred, “What do you want?”
The man smiled in a way that snake-oil salesmen tended to, setting his nerves on edge. “It is less what I want, and more what I can help you accomplish, my friend.”
Noble scoffed, “Bollocks, get away from my door.”
He went to slam it shut, but found he couldn’t as the man had placed his hand on it to stop it. Though the stranger was smaller, and seemed far weaker in strength, Noble found he could not move it in the slightest.
“It won’t be when you understand. You lost someone, didn’t you, Noble?”
As the man’s unnerving smile widened, Noble released his grip on the doorknob, taking an unintended step back.
Then, the stranger said something that no one aside from Noble believed, no matter how much he had explained what he saw.
“It would, of course, be far more accurate if I were to say someone took them from you.”
Eyes wide, he stared at this man he did not know, at a smile he knew deep-down he could not trust, and stepped back silently, beckoning him inside.
Because Noble knew deep in his shattered, twisted soul that any chance of revenge, of enacting retribution on the monster who had brutally ripped out part of his heart, was worth whatever consequences came with it.
There had been consequences, for sure. The further damning of his soul, the loss of his humanity and conscience, even if he had regained a small part of the latter recently. The latest consequence, he supposed, was losing the man he loved. Yet he still didn’t regret it—he couldn’t.
He let out a bitter laugh. How could he?
How could he say he truly regretted it, when if he hadn’t done what he did, he would have never met Ollie?
He would have died long ago. So, his mind wouldn’t let him regret it, because if he hadn’t lived, if he hadn’t been there, who would Ollie have called while bleeding out?
Who would have saved him from his own actions, controlled or not, when Mikael attacked?
Who would have been by Ollie’s side as he faced the cluster ghost yesterday morning?
Not Red, not Jahla, and certainly not the man’s fucking godfather…
As fucked up and twisted as it was, if Noble could go back to that very moment, he’d do it all over again, just so he could live long enough for those moments.
There were things he regretted, just not that.
Going along blindly and killing without question for as long as he did?
Yes, that he did regret. And as much as he liked to claim hunters were mindless grunts, if he really thought about it, he could probably name a few who were selective with their kills.
He vaguely remembered even asking about it one time, back when he had never understood why any witch hunter would be choosy, or how those above them let someone decide not to carry out a kill.
As why would it matter what the monsters they were killing had or hadn’t done? He knew differently now.
Noble continued to stare out the window, hesitating.
He wanted to see Ollie…he wanted to talk to him.
Not that he even knew what he could say at this point.
It had only been a day since his witch had left him, perhaps a little longer with how early in the morning it had happened on Sunday, but regardless of the time, Noble already missed him.
Yet, he knew he wasn’t welcome, so he would stay away…
Ollie stood near the front double doors, waiting for Jahla to leave for the day so he could finish locking up. Not that he needed to wait, as she could always lock the door on her way out. It was just that he had something to say. Not much, but it was something. Ollie wasn’t ready for more.
He held himself tight at the sound of her approaching footsteps from above, remaining silent for a moment until she reached the bottom and looked at him.
He wasn’t the only one looking to say something.
Jahla stared, her mouth parting as if to speak, but nothing came out and she sagged a bit as she sighed softly enough that he almost hadn’t heard it.
As she reached for the door, Ollie finally said, “Thank you…for calling Noble.”
Jahla paused for a moment, and without looking back, she said, “Mm,” before leaving.
He stared at the closed door, and instead of heading upstairs like he should, he sat down on the bottom step with a sigh of his own, feeling entirely drained.
Taking a deep breath, he slowly pulled out the colorful fake fish, once attached to a string and a stick, from his pocket and stared down at it blankly as tears filled his eyes.
He’d accidentally broken it during his many attempts throughout the day to get Pumpkin to appear…
She never did… Annabel had returned the same day, apparently having zoned out that morning near her diary, but Pumpkin was nowhere to be found.
Ollie looked over to his right at the soft padding and clicking of claws on wood. On reaching the last step, Red sat down next to him, without coming close enough for them to actually touch.
His cat remained silent at first…they both did, before finally, Red rasped, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Ha…are you really?” Ollie asked tiredly.
Red’s snout wrinkled. “Not exactly. But I am sorry about how you found out. I’m sorry that you are finding out so much of this in quite possibly the worst ways. I wish I had all the answers, and I really do want to tell you so much more than I already have, but I…can’t.”
“Noble has nothing to do with the binding, Red. We both know that. So why didn’t you? He’s a… He’s a witch hunter. I can’t think that wouldn’t be something I would need to know.”
“It wasn’t…time.”
Ollie couldn’t stop the bitter laugh that came out at Red’s ridiculous words. “So, the same reason for why I can’t know everything else.”
“It’s more than that, I—”
He cut him off. “I don’t want to talk about Noble right now. I just—” Ollie swallowed hard. “—can’t. I saw some things in his house, visions of what he did, and I just…can’t.”
Red winced. “The Unknowing can sometimes be very…informative, in all the ways one doesn’t want.”
“Mm…”
Silence sat heavily between them, and Ollie refused to be the one to break it. He was just too tired.
Red did, though, and when he did, Ollie wished he hadn’t.
“Ollie, you… You aren’t useless. You aren’t unworthy.
You have a brilliant mind, and I am proud to have you as my child.
I was proud to raise you, even though there were so many times I wanted to speak up for you, and to you, but couldn’t.
You are so very wanted, and I don’t want you to ever think otherwise. ”
Since the truth was that he wasn’t sure he agreed with much of that, he pretended he hadn’t heard a single word, as he said, “I can’t find Pumpkin.
I-I think…” His hand closed tightly around the fake fish as he swallowed hard, trying to hold back his tears.
“I think she’s g-gone.” Ollie whimpered as a tear finally broke free. “Why… W-why does everyone l-leave me?”
Despite the uncertainties that still stood between them, when Red moved closer, Ollie pulled him onto his lap, his hands shaking as he brushed them over his cat’s fur. “Oh, Ollie, no one leaves you because they want to.”
He let out a watery laugh as he said, “You know that’s not true. P-plenty of people have. Rowden sure did.”
“Ollie, Rowden is an asshole, and always has been. And yes, some people chose to leave you, but none of those people mattered. The ones who mattered, didn’t leave because they wanted to.”
Ollie’s breath stuttered as he sniffled. “But why d-did Pumpkin leave? Was…was she not happy?”
“Ollie, I think you know by now that if she is gone, it isn’t because of that.
Some ghosts need very little to pass on.
Especially the ghosts of animals. The tether that is keeping them here usually isn’t fueled by anger, and more often than not, it just isn’t as strong as it is for humans.
Pumpkin was a kitten, so she likely had even less holding her back. And…the love you gave her was enough.”
He whimpered before a sob forced its way out, as he stuttered, “I-I miss her.”
“I know. And I know it hurts, but you did what you had to. You gave her what she needed to move on. And that was the best thing you could have done for her. And while it hurts, you’ll eventually understand that what you are doing to help these creatures, these ghosts, to move on, as painful as it may be, is worth it.
No matter how many missed goodbyes there are in the future, what you did, and will do, will be worth it, Ollie.
So cherish the moments you had with her, and those you will have with others in the future, because the effort and care will be worth it. ”
He sobbed harder, giving up all attempts at holding back the pain, and just curled around Red, repeating, “I m-miss her.”
“I know…I know…”