Chapter 13 #2
Something was wrong. The Neon Maze was never empty, not even at—
The impact came from nowhere, a solid mass colliding with me from behind. I hit the ground hard, my breath escaping in a painful whoosh as I was flipped around and pinned beneath a familiar weight.
Around us, the walkway’s edges faded to black, and suddenly we were surrounded by a projection of stars and distant galaxies encircling us in a dome of artificial space.
I struggled against the body holding me down, my hands pushing against an immovable chest.
“You’ve fucking run long enough.” Cipher’s voice cut through the simulated cosmos, low and dangerous against my ear. His mask pressed against my cheek, the hard edge of it digging into my skin.
“Let me go,” I gasped, still fighting to catch my breath.
“No.” His grip tightened, one hand pinning both my wrists above my head. “I’m done watching you run, Annie. From me. From yourself.”
I gasped for air, my lungs burning with each inhale. I realized with horror that hot tears were streaming down my face. Not the silent, dignified kind either—ugly, messy sobs that shook my entire body.
“Annie.” His voice softened, but his grip remained firm.
Before I could respond, he kissed me. I cried harder against his lips, not because I didn’t want this—I wanted it more than anything—but because I was falling apart at the seams. Every wall I’d built, every lie I’d told myself, crumbling.
I’d spent months convincing myself I hated him. Months telling myself I was better off without him. Months running.
He pulled back just enough to speak. “I’m yours. To fuck. To fight. To keep. However you want me.”
I blinked up at him, tears still falling, unable to say anything.
“But there’s one thing, Annie.” His thumb brushed away a tear from my cheek, the gentleness at odds with his iron grip on my wrists.
“One thing I need you to do. Stop pretending you don’t want me.
” The words came out like a command, but underneath I heard the desperate plea.
“Fight me on anything else. Tell me I’m an asshole.
Tell me I’m wrong about everything. But not this. Not anymore.”
He released my wrists but his body still pinned mine to the ground. The projection of stars reflected in the dark surface of his mask, making him look like he contained the universe.
“I’m not letting you run from this anymore. I’m done watching you tear yourself apart trying to convince yourself you don’t feel what I know you feel.”
I twisted beneath him, trying to summon the anger that had sustained me for months. “Get off me,” I hissed, pushing against his chest.
“No.”
“You don’t get to decide this,” I said, my voice breaking. “You don’t get to just kidnap me and expect everything to be okay.”
“I’m not expecting anything to be okay.” His weight shifted, pressing me harder into the walkway. “But I can’t watch you destroy yourself any longer.”
I turned my face away from him, the digital stars blurring through my tears. “I don’t forgive you. I can’t.”
“I’m not asking for forgiveness.” His fingers gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Hate me all you want, Annie. But let me give you what you fucking need.”
“And what’s that?” My voice was acid. “What do I need, Cipher? Since you know me so well.”
“This.”
His mouth crashed against mine, taking. No gentleness, no asking permission.
Something inside me snapped. I bit down hard on his lower lip and he groaned into my mouth. He bit me back, catching my bottom lip between his teeth and tugging until I gasped.
My hands threaded through his hair, tangling in it, pulling hard enough to hurt. I wanted to hurt him. Needed to hurt him. Needed him to feel something, anything, as intense as what was tearing me apart.
“That’s it,” he growled against my mouth. “Fight me. Hate me. Just stop fighting yourself.” His hand slid up my thigh, bunching my dress at my hip.
“I hate you.” My voice broke on the lie.
His thumb traced my hipbone, dipping beneath the edge of my underwear. My back arched involuntarily, my body betraying me even as my mind struggled to maintain control.
“I hate what you did,” I said, my breath catching as his fingers traced higher.
“That’s fair.” His mouth moved to my neck, teeth grazing my pulse point. “Hate me. Hate what I did. But stop punishing yourself for wanting me.”
I reached up, my fingers trembling as they found the edge of his mask. I expected him to stop me, to grab my wrist, to pull away, but he didn’t move.
No! My brain screamed, even as my fingers curled around the edge.
“Do it,” he challenged, his voice rough. “Take it off.”
My pulse raced as I pulled the mask away, revealing his face inch by inch. The Keeper in me screamed in horror—I’d just unmasked a villain in public. Even if no one was around, even if we were alone on this digital walkway, I’d broken the most sacred rule.
But I couldn’t look away.
His eyes blazed with something wild and dangerous. His hair stuck out in all directions where I’d pulled it. He looked untamed, like he was barely contained in human form.
“There you are,” I breathed, the mask dangling from my fingers.
He didn’t give me time to think. His mouth was back against mine, harder this time, hungrier. No mask between us now, nothing to hide behind. Just his skin against mine.
“Fight me if you need to,” he growled against my lips. “Fight me. Hate me. I don’t care.”
His fingers dug into my flesh hard enough to leave marks.
“I’ll give you everything, Annie. Everything you’re too afraid to ask for.”
My body arched into his touch, even as my mind reeled. This was wrong. This was—
“Tell me to stop,” he challenged, his breath hot against my ear. “Tell me you don’t want this.”
The words wouldn’t come. Couldn’t come. Because they’d be lies, and I was tired of lying.
“I can’t,” I whispered.
His smile was savage and triumphant. “I know.”
I froze as Cipher reached down and detached something from his suit. My mask. The one he’d made for me when I’d played his companion, his plaything. The mask that had let me hide who I was while discovering parts of myself I’d never acknowledged.
“What are you—”
He didn’t let me finish. He placed it over my face, his fingers tracing the contours as he positioned it perfectly. The familiar weight settled against my skin like coming home.
The world immediately shifted, narrowing to just us. With the mask on, I wasn’t Annie Bishop, Keeper. I wasn’t Havoc’s ward or the Alliance’s puppet.
I was just me.
“What’s the mask for?” I managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
His thumb traced the edge of the mask where it met my cheekbone. “I told you I’d give you what you need. And what you need, Annie, is to let go for a while.”
I swallowed hard. He was right and I hated him for knowing me so well.
“The Alliance, the rules, Valor, Havoc—they’re all still out there.” He gestured toward the sprawling neon city beyond our private cosmos. “But with this on, none of that exists.”
My fingers trembled as they touched the smooth surface of the mask. It felt like armor and freedom all at once.
“Let me give this to you, Annie.” His voice softened just slightly, though the intensity remained. “Let me give you the one thing no one else can—permission to stop being perfect.”
I closed my eyes, feeling tears threaten again. How did he always know exactly where I was most vulnerable?
“You don’t have to be anything but mine,” he whispered.
“I want to hate you,” I confessed. The mask felt like a shield, giving me permission to speak the truth. “I’ve tried so hard to hate you.”
“Then hate me, Sparks.” His thumb traced my lower lip. “Hate me with everything you’ve got. But let go. Just fucking let go.”
“I don’t know how.”
His hand slid up my neck, fingers tangling in my hair, destroying what remained of my careful updo. “Yes, you do.” His grip tightened, just enough to make my breath catch. “You’ve done it before. With me.”
The memories flooded back of the nights spent as his plaything, writhing beneath him.
“I can’t be that person anymore.” My hands pushed weakly against his chest, a token resistance we both knew was meaningless.
“Bullshit.” He pressed his forehead against mine. “She’s right here. Stop fighting her.”
I felt the tears slipping down my cheeks beneath the mask, hot and silent. The fight drained from my body, impossible to hold onto no matter how hard I tried.
“I want to let go,” I whispered, the words barely audible. “I’m so tired.”
The savage triumph in Cipher’s expression softened.
“I know,” he said simply. He dipped his mouth to mine, gentle this time.
When he pulled away, the universe seemed to contract to just his face above mine, everything else falling away into darkness.
“Do you need me to help you remember how to let go?” His voice dropped lower, rougher. “How to stop thinking and just feel?”
I nodded. I needed him to help me silence the constant internal monologue of shoulds and shouldn’ts and give me permission to want the things I wasn’t supposed to want.
My heart hammered so hard I was certain he could feel it where our bodies pressed together.
His mouth curved into that dangerous smile—the one that had haunted my dreams. The one that promised pleasure and pain in equal measure.
He lowered his mouth to mine, and I surrendered to the fall.