Chapter 19 #2
“You have the day off?”
“The whole weekend, actually.” Annie stretched beneath me, her body arching in a way that made focusing on her words nearly impossible. “Havoc even made Alliance PR cancel all my Valor obligations for the weekend.”
My pulse quickened. “The whole weekend.”
“That’s what I said.” She tilted her head, studying my face.
My mind raced through my schedule like a tactical assessment. Interview at eleven. Press conference at one. Meeting with the Syndicate at three to discuss yesterday’s match. Each commitment locked in place.
Fuck.
I needed to be Cipher the Super Villain for most of the day. But Annie was here. In my bed. Willingly. Without a mask. Without hatred burning in her eyes.
The probability calculations shifted rapidly. If I asked her to stay, 68% chance she’d refuse. If I demanded she be here when I returned, 94% chance she’d run just to spite me. If I said nothing, 100% chance she’d be gone.
A smile spread across Annie’s face, slow and knowing.
“What?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.
“For once, I know what you’re thinking and not the other way around.”
I raised an eyebrow, intrigued despite myself. “Is that right? And what am I thinking, Sparks?”
Her smile widened. “I know that look,” she said, tapping her finger against the furrow between my brows. “Weighing variables. Calculating risks. Wondering what I’ll do if you tell me to stay.”
Her insight was both arousing and alarming. Annie seeing through me felt like both victory and defeat simultaneously.
“And if that is what I’m thinking?” I challenged.
Annie’s eyes held mine. “Try it and find out.”
“You’re staying with me this weekend.”
I watched her face closely for a flare of temper but all she said was, “Okay.”
I blinked down at her, waiting for the other shoe to drop. The conditions. The arguments. Nothing came.
“That’s it? Just ‘okay’?”
She shrugged, the smile still playing at the corners of her mouth. “Did it require more of an answer?”
This wasn’t right. Annie didn’t just agree to stay with me. She didn’t smile up at me like we were normal people who hadn’t spent the last three months having their hearts torn out.
“What are you doing?” I asked, suspicion creeping into my voice.
“What do you mean?”
“This.” I gestured between us, frustration building. “You’re not fighting me. You’re being playful. You’re acting like—”
“Like I used to?” she finished for me.
I nodded once, jaw tight. Now this definitely felt like a trap. Or worse, pity.
Annie shoved on me and I fell over onto my back. Her hand slid up my neck and her fingers curled into my hair, gripping the strands with a desperate, white-knuckled tension. The playful energy drained out of her and she dropped her forehead down onto my chest.
“I am so exhausted,” she whispered into my skin.
“From what?”
“Fighting my own mind.” She turned her head, pressing her cheek over my heart. “I spent three months trying to hate you enough to stay away. I tried to use the anger to keep myself safe from you.”
I waited for the knife. The inevitable reminder of my failure.
“I’m still furious,” she continued, her voice hollow. “I haven’t forgiven you for Dread. I probably never will.”
There it was. I braced myself for her to pull away.
Her grip in my hair tightened instead. She shifted, dragging herself up until her face was inches from mine.
“But it doesn’t matter,” she said. “None of it matters. I’m done trying to just get by and survive without this. I love you, Cipher.”
My brain stopped processing variables. The tactical models running in my head flatlined.
“Say it again.” My voice came out rough, a demanding growl tearing up my throat.
“I love you.”
She looked like a woman who had just stepped over the edge of a cliff and accepted the fall. She knew exactly what I was, knew the damage I had caused her, and she was handing me the pieces anyway.
“You don’t love me.” The words came out harsh, my voice full of disbelief. “You can’t.”
Annie raised a single eyebrow. “Are you really going to tell me what I feel?”
“Yes?” The word came out as a question rather than the definitive statement I’d attempted.
Annie pushed herself up onto her elbows. “How exactly do you figure I can’t love you?”
“You want the fucking list?” I didn’t wait for her answer.
“I betrayed you to Dread. I lied to you. I manipulated you into helping me. I nearly got you killed.” The evidence tumbled out, each point another nail in the coffin of any possibility between us.
“I kidnapped you—multiple times. I punched your fake boyfriend. I’ve been stalking you for months. ”
Annie’s lips twitched, but I barreled on.
“I’m a Villain. I kill people. I killed two men in front of you last week. I killed twenty-seven men the last time we were together. I’ve been forcing food on you against your will.”
I took a breath, my mind racing through every sin, every reason she should hate me. “I’m arrogant, controlling, possessive, and I don’t play well with others. I have trust issues. I have abandonment issues. I have a god complex. I’m obsessed with you to an unhealthy degree. I—”