Chapter 41 #2
Cipher’s eyes opened, and he pressed my hand harder against his cheek. “I do love you, Annie. But my love isn’t gentle,” he said, his voice low. “It never was. It never will be. Even if I could give you that kind of love, that soft, gentle thing, you wouldn’t want it.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he shook his head, silencing me.
“Gentle love won’t follow you down into the darkness,” he whispered, his thumb tracing circles on my wrist. “Gentle love doesn’t fight against death for you.”
I wanted to hate him. It would be easier if I could just hate him. I hated myself for how much I didn’t hate him, for how I recognized the truth in his words. I wanted to deny it, to claim I wanted something simple and uncomplicated. The kind of love that didn’t come with blood on its hands.
But he was right.
I wouldn’t want gentle love from him. I’d never wanted that. What drew me to Cipher was precisely this, his darkness, his intensity, his willingness to cross lines others wouldn’t. But that didn’t erase what he’d done.
“You’re right,” I whispered. “I wouldn’t want gentle love. Not from you.”
Something flickered in his eyes. Relief, maybe, or understanding.
“But it doesn’t matter,” I continued. “I can’t forgive you for what you’ve done. For Dennis Reeves. For working with Dread. For lying to me while pretending to help.”
Cipher’s expression remained open in the face of my condemnation. “I never asked for forgiveness, Annie.” His voice was soft but certain. “I’ve never expected it. Not for a single thing I’ve done.”
“Everything between us was a lie,” I said, tears falling faster. “Every moment. Every touch. Every word.”
Cipher’s thumb brushed against my wrist, tracing the pulse point there. “Not everything,” he said simply.
I wanted to laugh, but it came out as a sob instead. “What wasn’t a lie? Tell me one true thing between us.”
Cipher’s silver eyes never wavered as he spoke, each word precise and unflinching.
“The way my body responded to yours was true. The way I wanted to protect you, even from the beginning. The fear I felt when Ash took you.” His voice dropped lower.
“How I couldn’t stop thinking about you, even when I tried. ”
“Cipher-”
“When I told you I loved you, that was true,” he said, his voice fierce now. “Even knowing what you are, what you could do to me, I can’t stop loving you. I lied about many things, Annie. But never about wanting you. Never about needing you.”
Cipher closed his eyes, his dark lashes stark against his pale, blood-smeared skin.
“During our game,” he murmured, his thumb still tracing the erratic pulse at my wrist. “When you asked me why I caught you when that rooftop crumbled. I told you that you were valuable,” he continued.
“That wasn’t a lie, Annie. It was the absolute truth.
Even then, before I ever had my hands on you, before I knew what you tasted like or how you’d feel in my arms...
I couldn’t have let anything happen to you. ”
“Why?” I rasped. “How could you possibly care what happened to me? I was nothing to you then. Just Havoc’s paper pusher. You didn’t even know me.”
“Listen to me,” he commanded softly. “You told me once that no one looks at you. You said you just file paperwork. That you stand in the background. That you aren’t supposed to be seen.”
He leaned closer.
“You’re wrong. You’ve always been wrong about that. I told you everyone looks at you, but I meant me.”
“I’ve been watching you for years, Annie. Obsessing over the quiet, untouchable Keeper standing at Havoc’s side. Calculating exactly what it would take to drag you into the dark and make you mine.” He pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes looking feverish. “I see you. I have always seen you.”
My heart twisted painfully in my chest. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe him so badly it hurt.
“That doesn’t change what you did,” I whispered.
“No,” he agreed. “It doesn’t.”
The distant wail of sirens cut through the night air. The emergency response team was getting closer. Cipher’s head turned slightly toward the sound, his body tensing.
“I have to go.” He gently lowered my hand, placing it carefully at my side. “I can’t be here. I can’t explain to them how—” He shook his head. “I need to take the Hammer and go.”
“You’re leaving me?” My voice broke, fresh tears spilling down my face. “Like this?”
Cipher hesitated, his eyes moving from my face to the knife still embedded in my shoulder.
“They’ll help you. They’re coming for you.”
The sirens grew louder, emergency lights flashing in the distance. We had seconds, not minutes.
Cipher leaned forward. His face hovered above mine, searching my features as if memorizing them. Then he closed the distance between us, pressing his lips to mine.
The kiss was soft, featherlight.
It was a goodbye kiss.
He pulled away and then he was gone, the dark shape of his body silhouetted against the night sky. In seconds, he was nothing but a shadow against the stars, disappearing into the darkness as the distant whine of emergency response aircraft grew louder.
I lay bleeding on the rooftop, alone with the corpse of one Villain and the absence of another.