Chapter 1 Captain and Crew #2
“Yeah, okay, fine, for the crew. I get it. But why do I need the captain tattoo on the other arm? I’ll already know I’m captain. It doesn’t make sense, if I’m being honest. If I can’t make decisions for myself, then why do I need the tattoo that says captain?”
My father’s mouth is wide open. “What?! First you say my hat is stupid, now you’re saying the tattoos are stupid?” He looks down at the sword, speaking to it, “This is what you’ve left me with. Our son is an imbecile.”
“I’d say whoever convinced you and Captain Crawford to get those tattoos was an imbecile. I’m just pointing out the obvious. You’ve taught me my whole life that the only things that matter are captain and crew, right?” I ask, holding my palms out.
“Yes, so what? That hasn’t changed.” He’s staring at the tattoo on his arm, his eyebrows tightly drawn together.
“Well, if my decisions are based on those two things, and I’m the captain, then some of those decisions can be for me and not based on the crew, right?”
He’s rubbing the stubble on his cheek; it looks like he’s really thinking about what I’ve said. “No.”
“What do you mean, ‘no’? That’s what you said.
So, if I don’t want to get married because that’s what’s best for the captain, then, I’m good.
I honestly have no idea why that would be better for the crew anyway, or what difference it would make.
But that’s not the point I’m making right now.
The point right now is that the tattoo on your left forearm makes no sense.
I either serve myself, or I serve the crew.
It doesn’t have to be both and sometimes those things may oppose one another. ”
“You need the tattoo to remind you of where your duty lies. Your duty lies with the captain and the crew.”
“Dad, listen. You are the captain. Do you need the tattoo to remind you of that?”
“Of course not. That’s not the point of it.”
“Well then what is the point of it?”
“The point is that I’m the captain, and you will get the tattoos, or you won’t be named captain. That’s the point. End of discussion. Just go get dressed.”
I drop an eyebrow at him and lean forward. “I’m not getting that captain tattoo, until you can tell me why I need it. Was it Captain Crawford’s idea, or yours? Maybe he can answer when he gets here. I’ll ask him.”
“Don’t embarrass me in front of Ray, please.” He holds his forehead, eyes closed. “I’ll never hear the end of it. He’ll make fun of me until I die.”
“He should. You have tattoos that you don’t even understand. I’d make fun of my friends if they had tattoos they didn’t understand.” I stand up from my chair, and shrug at him.
“Okay, enough,” he says, rolling his sleeves down. “You have annoyed me even more than normal. I had no idea that you could be so annoying. Is this a new skill, or have you always been this way?”
I laugh and head toward the door. “You need anything else, Captain?”
“The tattoos make sense. You just—don’t bring them up in front of Ray, or no rum. I’ll make sure you and Sivan don’t have access to the good stuff for the entire trip.
“You’re threatening me with rum? Oh my God, you really don’t know why you have the tattoos, and you’re terrified I’ll embarrass you. There’s rum at the bar, so you can’t threaten me with that.”
“Then I’ll take away something else. What do you like?”
“Are you serious? Do you think I’m stupid enough to answer that?”
“Ah, just go,” he says. “Life was simpler when you were younger. Get dressed and don’t be late.”
I give him a playful salute and head toward my room, nearly knocking into Matteo as I round the corner.
“How’d that go?” he asks me.
“How do you think it went?” I ask, hanging an arm around his neck. “He was nagging me, same as always. Got pissed because I said I didn’t want to wear a hat, or something.”
Matteo smiles at me, and we continue toward my room together. “Why would he be upset about that? You never wear a hat until meeting time. That can’t be what set him off. What else happened?”
“How the hell should I know? He was going on about Harlow, and my tattoos, well, future tattoos, and threatened to keep the rum away from me and Sivan if I made him look bad in front of Captain Crawford.”
“Hmm. Well, you are going to be named captain this year. It makes sense that he’d want you to behave. Although, having Sivan around will make that pretty much impossible. You should really try to read him better, though.”
“That’s easy for you to suggest. He isn’t all that easy for me to read. Besides, he treats you differently than he treats me. Some days I wonder if you really are his son, and I’m the one he adopted.”
“Oh, be serious, he doesn’t treat you bad. But what did he want to be sure you didn’t embarrass him by doing? Just general stupidity?”
“Not exactly. He was worried that I’d ask Captain Crawford about their tattoos. Speaking of tattoos, do you understand them?”
“Do I understand tattoos? What do you mean? The concept? The ink? What are you asking me?”
“No, his tattoos. The tattoos I’ll be getting soon. Captain and crew, those. Do you understand them?”
He shakes his head at me and raises his eyebrows. “No wonder he was worried you were going to embarrass him. Of course I understand them. What’s not to understand?”
“Just forget about it,” I say while we make our way toward my room. “It’s not important. I won’t embarrass the old man.”
I’ll just ask Sivan about them. Shit, Sivan.
Maybe it’s better if I just pretend that what happened didn’t actually happen…
I mean, maybe it really didn’t. It was probably just some weird coincidence.
Besides, no one but me knows what I was thinking, so if I convince myself it didn’t happen then it’s kind of like it didn’t.
“You going in?” Matteo asks, gesturing toward my door. “What’s going on? Your face looks kind of freaked out all of a sudden.
I didn’t even realize we’d stopped in front of my door. “I’m going in, but I’m still a little pissed about you letting Harlow into my room.” I open the door and take a step inside. “Don’t do that again, man.”
“If I didn’t want someone in my room, I probably wouldn’t have sex with them once I found them in there. Hurry up and get dressed,” he says, before walking away.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe we’re the same age.
He’s always worrying about me or running around making sure things are taken care of.
It’s like he loves responsibility or something.
Most days, I can’t even imagine Sivan and I becoming captains, but Matteo—he’s the model of a future captain, although for him to become captain of a ship a lot would have to work out in his favor.
If my parents hadn’t taken him in after the mutiny, I don’t know what would have happened to him.
As it stands, people treat him as though he’s my father’s son, and he has basically the same privileges, but hierarchy dictates that he couldn’t become captain unless something happens to me.
Of course, if you ask Matteo about becoming captain, he’d only laugh at such a notion.
He has no aspirations of becoming captain; his only dream is to see me become captain and to stand beside me as my first mate.
Both of those things will happen later this year.
I know I need to get dressed, but my head is such a mess.
I flop onto my bed and close my eyes. I can’t let what happened ruin my time with Sivan.
But how do I stop thinking about it? I have to find a way to block it out—this is the last time we’ll really be able to have fun like we normally do.
The next time we’re together, we’ll be named captains, and we’ll be weighed down with a ton of responsibilities.
Damn it, if only Matteo hadn’t let Harlow into my room, everything would be fine, but now I’m so confused that I can barely think straight.
The sound of the ship horn blares loudly, which tells me we’re nearing the port.
I have to hurry up and get ready, and I can’t let Sivan know that anything is bothering me.
“Sivan! Hurry up, you’ll be late!” my father shouts.
One more check in the mirror before I head out of my room. I can’t wait for the girls in port to see me. I wonder how many Vincent and I will run through this time. “Yeah, I’m ready. I’ll meet you on deck!”
I quickly spray myself with my new cologne; my father got it for me in trade with a new vendor in town.
He’s convinced it will somehow double my chances of finding the right girl.
Lately, he’s been hounding me to find a steady girlfriend.
He believes in true love—I don’t. What even is love?
How would one know if they were in it? I can’t imagine.
It makes no sense to me, this idea that one could find someone and then just be happy by being with this person.
Such horseshit if you ask me. Besides, I’m a pirate.
I’ll always be a pirate. The last thing I need is some girl getting all clingy and expecting me to spend time with her.
I’m not interested in that. I’d much rather hang out with Vincent.
Later this year, I’ll finally have my own ship, and he will too.
Sometimes, I wish our circumstances were different, because the time we spend together goes by so fast, and the rest of the time I find myself counting down the months until our next meeting.
I really want to join crews someday, but we haven’t discussed it yet.
If he weren’t going to be a captain, I would make him my first mate, but that’s not possible, because we’re both of equal ranking, as far as pirate hierarchy is concerned.