Chapter 3 The Beginning of the End #3
I catch a glimpse of us in the mirror on the way toward the door.
My crimson jacket with Sivan’s cobalt blue jacket behind me is extremely eye catching.
We look really good, but there’s also this realization hitting me.
Once we leave my room, I won’t be able to touch him…
I’ll have to pretend like nothing happened.
I hadn’t considered that. As I grab the doorknob, Sivan hugs me from behind. “Hey, I…” he starts.
I turn to face him, and he wraps me in his arms, squeezing me tight. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk,” he says softly. “You know…about everything.”
“Sivan…I don’t know what to say. It feels like we’re saying goodbye forever or something, but we’re just going to a meeting.”
“Goodbye?” he asks, holding my face in his hands. “I will never say goodbye to you. You’re my best friend, no matter what happens. No one could ever make me say goodbye to you.”
I swallow hard, then kiss him softly. I want to say something equally as sweet, but all I can think of in this moment is kissing him.
But if I keep kissing him, we’ll be late for the meeting.
When I open my door, I hear footsteps hurrying down the hall, and I smell the scent of Harlow’s perfume.
She was most certainly eavesdropping the entire time.
Well, that’s fine. I’m not really too worried about that.
She’s not going to say anything to anyone, and, honestly, after last night, I won’t be sleeping with her anymore.
What I shared with Sivan was perfect. I really had no idea sex could feel so emotional and satisfying.
The two of our bodies pressed together, joined as one, that was what nature intended for the both of us.
“Ugh, that’s a terrible smell,” Sivan says as he leaves my bedroom.
I laugh. “I would expect that you would think so, that’s Harlow’s perfume.”
“Oh, well, no wonder I hate it then.”
“Funny thing is that just yesterday I actually really liked it. But now, I—”
“It’s fine, you don’t need to say anything. It’s not worth talking about. You hate her perfume—you like her perfume. It’s nothing I can control. I can only control… Well, I guess, nothing. I guess there’s not much I can control,” Sivan says.
Why do I have this urge to comfort him? “Hey, we’ll figure everything out. Why do you sound so upset?” I ask, pausing to look at him.
“Nah, I’m not upset. Just confused. What do you think she was doing? Why was her perfume lingering outside of your room like that?”
I shake my head and raise an eyebrow at him. “I think that she was probably outside the door snooping.”
“So, you think she heard everything?”
“Yeah, I think so. Her mother might have been out here with her, too. The two of them would do something like that. Whenever I bring girls home, they—”
I stop myself from saying anything else, because Sivan’s nostrils are flaring in the way they do when he’s really pissed off.
I don’t even know what I should be doing or saying right now.
This is my best friend—the person I know better than anyone else in the world, and yet, I have no idea what to say to him.
Tugging on his sleeve, I move in front of him and squeeze his shoulders. “Hey, I—”
Before I can finish my thought, Sivan’s eyes raise and meet mine. I want to kiss him, and I don’t think I can stop myself…my face seems to be moving closer all on its own. Using two fingers, he lifts my chin lightly and tilts his head, moving in—he’s gonna kiss me first.
“Ah, boys! There you are!” my father’s voice calls from down the hall.
Sivan’s father’s voice follows behind as he enters the hallway, “Boys? Sivan is here?”
Holy shit that was close. One second longer and our fathers would have seen us kissing. I don’t even know what that would have looked like. Would they have yelled, fainted, or pulled us off one another? I feel like either way, it would have been pretty bad.
“Where have you two been?” Sivan’s father asks as he looks over our shoulders. “Where are the girls?”
“What girls?” Sivan replies. “I spent the night with Vincent; there were no girls.”
Quickly, I cover his mouth, which is pretty stupid of me, but with the way he’s been this morning, I have no idea what he was gonna say.
Our fathers look confused, staring the two of us down. They would never suspect that we’ve slept together, though.
“What the hell are you covering his mouth for?” my father asks.
“I, um…we…well, this morning, Sheena came in being all kinds of nosy and rude, and I was afraid that Sivan was going to say something mean about her and get on your bad side.”
My father is giving Sivan a discerning look, and he doesn’t look very happy with me either. I should probably move my hand, but with the way Sivan just rolled his eyes at what I said—I can’t be too careful; besides, the feeling of his lips pressed against my palm is strangely comforting.
“Sivan wouldn’t speak ill of your future mother-in-law,” his father says.
I feel Sivan’s mouth open in protest, so I apply a bit of pressure against his lips with my palm. It’s a good thing I kept my hand here.
“Yes, well,” my father says, “I would doubt that she’d do anything to purposely get on Sivan’s bad side.”
Sivan looks mad, probably at the fact that his father just referred to Harlow’s mother as my future mother-in-law. I feel like I should say something, but would that just make this situation worse? The desperate look Sivan is giving me tells me I have to say something.
“I apologize, Captain Crawford,” I say. “But has my father given you the impression that I would be marrying Harlow? Because, if so, that’s never going to happen.
” I can feel Sivan’s smile against my hand.
Oh God, he’s lightly licking the inside of my palm, while smiling—diabolical.
I’m trying so hard not to react, but I can’t fight the smile that’s forming on my face.
“Take your damn hand off his mouth already!” my father yells at me.
As soon as I remove my hand, the words fly from Sivan’s mouth, “Dad, why would you think that Vincent was going to marry Harlow? He’s never once said that to me.”
“Indeed, Ray,” my father agrees. “Vincent has no interest in Harlow, anyone with eyes knows that. Now, Matteo and Harlow, that may be a thing. I’ve seen those two looking at each other when Vincent isn’t around. That might be something.”
I know my father is trying to bait me. He knows that I have a jealous side, but not over Harlow, so he’s mistaken here. “That’s great,” I say. “Matteo’s always trying to get your approval anyway, so maybe if you tell him that you approve, he’ll go for it. Then Harlow can leave me the hell alone.”
Sivan scoffs, shaking his head as our fathers start to laugh. “What are you old booze papas laughing about?” Sivan asks. “We both know Captain Rodrigo was trying to bait him into acting jealous, and it didn’t work, so what’s funny?”
“Now, now,” Sivan’s father says. “Calm down, it’s not a big deal.
We’re just poking fun here. What are you acting so sensitive about?
You looked moody since I laid eyes on you, when I rounded the corner.
You’re mad about Sheena, Harlow, or whatever the hell, and now you got your damn pants in a twist because we’re teasing Vincent? ”
“Ah, give him a break, Ray, they’re obviously tired from all the trouble they must have gotten into last night. I can imagine it must have been a wild time for them to end up here with no girls, and Sivan with a wrinkled shirt under his jacket.”
I elbow Sivan. “Told you your shirt was too wrinkled.”
“Well, I was told I couldn’t borrow one of yours. Do you remember that?” Sivan asks me with a grin.
I can feel my smile growing as I look at him, and those tingles from yesterday are back—only now—I know what they mean… I want to kiss him.
“You told him he couldn’t borrow a shirt?” my father asks me.
Oh my God, for a moment I forgot our dads were standing right there.
“Oooh, ruthless, just like your old man!” Sivan’s father says.
My dad steps back a bit, stroking his goatee. “When did I ever tell you that you couldn’t borrow one of my shirts, Ray?”
“You never let me wear your clothes. I’ve asked multiple times to borrow a jacket, and you’ve never once let me. You’re stubborn.”
“Come on now, I let you borrow underwear before, you think I wouldn’t let you wear my jacket?”
“No, I don’t think you would,” Sivan’s father says.
“Horseshit! Do you remember that night down at Pudgy’s with Miriam, when the old lady was nowhere around? What happened? You lost your clothes in a round of cards, and who gave you his jacket to wear? That was me!” my father shouts, jamming his finger against his own chest.
“Bullshit! Are you losing your mind, Rodri? You lost your clothes in a card game, not me! And I gave you, my jacket. What the hell is wrong with you? You’re remembering this wrong.”
“Am I? No, wasn’t that the night you had to borrow my underwear?”
“No, see that was not at Pudgy’s, that was at Muffy’s. That was with that one ship hugger, whatever her face was with the lipstick, remember? That was when I came back to your ship and then she—”
My father finishes his sentence, “She stole your clothes and left you naked in my quarters!”
“Yes! That’s what you’re thinking of!” Sivan’s father says.
“Oh, well, why did I think it was my jacket?”
“How the hell should I know why you thought that? So, yes, you let me borrow your underwear, pants, and shirt, but then I asked for a jacket, and you refused.”
“Oh, now I remember! You smelled terrible and we had no time for a shower. Ooh, Sheena never complained so much as when she had to wash that shirt,” my father says.
“I smelled bad? I’ve never been told once in my life that I smell bad.”
“That makes sense,” Sivan adds. “Sheena complained about the smell of my cologne in Vincent’s room this morning.”
“Yeah, well, she was probably just angry that you were in there. Probably blamed you for Vincent being late. Who knows?” my father says.