Chapter 4 Get Out of My Bed #3
I press the accept button and answer while Ersin and Jenny are both screaming at me. “Hello?”
There is only silence on the other end of the line. “Hello?” I say again, but no one answers. “Vincent?” I ask and close my eyes as tears start to fall. Damn it, what the hell am I crying for? There’s no background noise or voices. Nothing is coming through, but the call hasn’t disconnected.
I hear a giggle and a voice that mocks me.
“Vincent?” the voice says. The phone call ends before I can say anything else.
I’ve heard that giggle before. Who the hell was that?
Vincent is one of the only people that even has my phone number, and everyone else that has it is here tonight.
But this was someone that knew me, and they mocked me calling Vincent’s name.
It’s so loud inside the bar that the call couldn’t possibly have come from anyone inside.
Wait, that laugh…it was Harlow. I’m sure of it.
Why would he let her do that? No, maybe he didn’t have anything to do with it.
Maybe he fell asleep and she grabbed his phone?
Fuck this, it doesn’t even matter. I can’t stand out here agonizing over him anymore.
I need a drink. Ersin and Jenny are both staring at me in confusion, as I walk past them and reach for the door handle.
“What are you doing?” Ersin shouts.
Jenny throws her arm up at me. “Yeah, what the hell, Sivan?”
Frustration clear on my face, I turn around to face them. “I’ve had enough of this.” I turn to the right and point at Jenny. “You’re not going home with me ever again. Please don’t make me repeat myself.”
I turn to the left and look at Ersin whose arms are crossed tightly across her chest. “Ersin, I thought I had feelings for someone, and, unfortunately, I don’t think those feelings were reciprocated.
I’m not in love with anyone and I never will be.
At this point, all I feel is the opposite.
I feel pure loathing, loathing for myself, loathing of my body, and loathing of all people. So don’t push me tonight.”
I walk inside and head straight for my father who is seated at the bar. “Dad, let’s drink,” I say, placing a hand on his shoulder.
My father lifts his beer high in the air. “Cheers! My son is here—the birthday man is finally ready to drink!”
The crowd at the bar all raise their glasses in salute.
Ersin’s father, the bartender, passes me a shot glass full of green liquid.
Lifting the glass toward my nose, it’s a sweet but unfamiliar smell. “Thank you. But what is this?”
“Poison apple.”
“Down the hatch,” I say and drink it. Oooh, what a tangy little shot. I slide the glass back to him. “More.” He passes another shot to me, which I tip back quickly. “Whooo!” I shout. “Another!”
· · ·
As I open my eyes, I turn to my left and see blonde hair on the pillowcase beside me.
Oh no…nononono. What did I do? I didn’t come back here with Jenny.
I wouldn’t have. Peeking under the covers, I see that I’m still fully dressed.
The only things missing are my jacket and shoes.
Oh, thank God. We mustn’t have done anything.
But why the hell is she in my bed, and how the hell did I get here?
Shit, my head hurts… We leave at sunrise, which is probably any minute now, considering the clock says its 5:45am. “Jenny, get the hell out of my bed.”
She turns toward me, wiping her eyes awake. “Oh, you’re welcome.”
I have no idea what she’s talking about, especially because I told her she was not coming home with me. “I’m welcome? For what?”
“You’re welcome that I came here with you and made sure that you got home safe. Your father and Ersin’s father passed out drunk, doing God knows what with God knows who, and there you were leaning on the bar, blubbering about Vincent.”
“Vincent?” There’s no way I was talking about Vincent.
“Yes, Vincent. You were nearly in tears. Tell me something,” she says, looking over at me.
I flip my legs out of bed and stand up. “Don’t ask me anything about Vincent.”
“Why shouldn’t I? I know what I heard and what I heard was you basically professing your love for him. Now, tell me, is that who you’re in love with? Is it Vincent? You might as well tell me everything. You owe me for saving your ass last night, Sivan.”
“I owe you nothing, no one asked you to help me. When I was sober, I told you I didn’t want you coming home with me.”
“Hey, I know that you feel something, just tell me. I’ll listen. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Jenny, I’m sorry. I just can’t. We’re not going to talk about this. Please leave.”
“Alright, well, I know you’re leaving soon, but I want to say something to you. Even after all of the times you cheated on me and screwed around behind my back. I still find myself drawn to you. So, if you are really in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, then that person is—”
“What the hell are you talking about? We were never even together. How could I cheat on you?”
“We’ve been together for a year, on and off, even when we’re not together, we’re together.”
“No, that’s not how it works. If I’m in a relationship with someone, they’re gonna know, and I’m sure I would know! I was never going out with you. Don’t go telling people we were together when you know that we never were.”
“We could be together, if you would just share your feelings with me!” she shouts.
“I’m going to speak plainly, because what you’re saying makes no sense.
I feel nothing for you. I have never been in a relationship with you—if you thought that, that’s on you.
Please just go, I need to get ready to leave.
Don’t be going around telling people that I cheated on you, either. I would never cheat on anyone.”
“Fine. You are truly such an ass, Sivan.” She shuffles her feet into her shoes and heads for the door. “Goodbye. Don’t worry about your little secret getting out. I won’t tell anyone,” she says, then leaves my room.
“Jenny, good thing you’re leaving, we’re about to ship out,” I hear my father say.
“Yes, goodbye, Captain. Have a safe trip. He’s still pouting.”
I hear my father let out a heavy sigh, just before he enters my room. “What was that about?” he asks me.
“Oh, nothing, just Jenny being Jenny. She said I owed her for bringing me home. I would’ve rather slept on the floor of the damn pub than have her come home with me. I wish you would’ve stopped it.”
“Now, come on. I don’t even remember you two leaving together.” He sits down on the edge of my bed. “This has gone on long enough. What are you so damn upset about? You can tell me anything. Are you worried about being named captain? Missing your mom? Just talk to me.”
Technically I could tell him, in the sense that I can tell anyone anything.
Much like I could tell someone that my name is Sivan and that I love shrimp.
Not so much in the sense that I can say, hey, Dad, I’m gay, and I have feelings for my best friend who has ignored me since we had the most mind-blowing sex ever. No, definitely can’t tell him that.
The horn outside signaling that we have thirty minutes before we leave sounds loudly. I’m still in my clothes from last night, and I need to shower, but my stomach is in knots. “I’m fine, Dad. I’m looking forward to seeing Vincent soon. I have a lot to catch up with him about.”
My father’s face twists a bit. “I wish I was half as excited to see Rodri, which I’m not,” he jokes.
“This Slicer business is getting out of hand. I’m sorry that you and Vincent will be dragged into it.
We’ve planned for so long that you two would be named captains at twenty-one. Nothing is going to change that.”
The rumors of Captain Slicer’s return have continued to swirl since earlier in the year.
We have a close eye on all the ports under our control, so I’m sure they’re just rumors, but my father feels they’re substantiated.
I know my dad is getting nervous about giving me some of the crew, and my own ship during a time like this, but I’m not worried about Slicer, I’m more worried about Vincent.
“Dad, I’m not feeling well,” I say, getting back into bed. “I’m gonna close my eyes for a bit.”
“Well, you did drink quite a fair share last night. Get some rest then take a shower. Long trip ahead of us, so no need to rush.”
“Yeah, I think all the alcohol just hit me. I’ll be fine later on.”
“I’m glad you’re looking forward to meeting up with Vincent, hopefully you can get whatever it is that you want to say to him off your chest. But, son, even if you’re not feeling better tonight, you have four days until we arrive, so plenty of time to figure things out.”
What does he mean by that? Damn it, I have no idea what I said at the bar last night.
He turns the door handle and looks back at me. “Don’t wanna talk, right?”
“No thanks, Dad.”
I hear a scuffle outside the door, and my father steps out to deal with whatever is happening. Closing my eyes feels so good, but shit, what did I say last night? What did everyone hear?