Chapter 6 We’re Pirates, Vincent
Lying in my bed and looking at the clock feels almost painful.
What was Vincent talking about? What did he mean that he’d been texting me?
He still hasn’t come by yet, and I thought he would.
What do I expect from him? What do I want from him?
He looked good, too. So good. Then when I walked away, that little harlot was just running her mouth.
I really hate that girl…I hate the way she inserted herself into his life just because she lives on the same ship.
I guess his father and her mother are partly to blame, since they’ve both been encouraging a relationship between them since they were younger.
I wonder if he’s having fun at the bar? He must be, or else he’d be here with me.
I can picture it now…her arms draped around him, laughing.
The thought alone sickens me. I need to get up; I need to go out.
I can’t let our first night together be spent apart.
Not when I’ve waited to feel him for so long.
I want to hold him. When my cheek brushed his during that brief whisper, I wanted so badly to kiss him.
It was torturous. What can I do, though?
If I go there, it’s not like I can actually be with him.
I’ll have to pretend that we aren’t together.
I’ll have to pretend that everything is fine…
That I’m just another straight guy who’s looking for girls.
I really don’t want to do that, but there would be no way around it.
Still, isn’t it worth it? If I can pretend just a little, then maybe I can have Vincent all to myself later.
I need to force myself up, get dressed, and go to the bar.
Before I make it to my dresser, my phone is vibrating in my hand. Unknown caller.
“Hello?”
“I wanted you to know that Vincent isn’t feeling well, so he’s staying in with me tonight,” Harlow says.
“What? Who is this?” I won’t give her the satisfaction of knowing that I know it’s her.
“This is Vincent’s fiancée. I know that you know who I am, don’t try to play dumb with me.”
I end the call and my phone vibrates again in my hand. Same number. “What do you want?” I ask.
“Sivan? It’s Vincent.”
“What is happening?” I ask him.
“I wanted to tell you that Harlow and I got engaged. I…she…we…please don’t go to the pub tonight,” his voice is cracking with every word.
“Congratulations,” I say, then toss my phone onto my bed and lie back down.
No… Why? Why would he do this? He doesn’t want her. I know he doesn’t. Something must have happened, something that forced him into doing this. I won’t accept it.
My throat feels tight—it feels like I’m choking on words left unsaid and all the feelings I haven’t shared with him—I want to be with him. I have to push through, because at the end of all this pain, there will be us. The two of us together, side by side. I know it.
He asked me not to go to the pub tonight, which means he doesn’t want me to see them together.
I’m going to that pub. I’m taking what’s mine.
I quickly change clothes, putting on my nighttime suit.
Before heading out, I spritz myself with cologne, then head off the ship.
Vincent’s dad said they were going to Muffy’s, and as I approach the open door, I can hear my father and Captain Rodrigo’s voices.
People are pushing past me while I scan the room from the entrance.
Where is Vincent? I don’t see him. What I do see are a bunch of women, though.
Hardly any men here, which is really saying something, since both crews are dispersed inside and outside of the place.
There they are. I spot our fathers sitting toward the back of the pub at a table, and I see him. I see Vincent. I should be the one holding his hand, not her. Look at her over there. Pretending, knowing that he doesn’t love her. But why then? Why is he doing this?
Pressing through the crowd, I make my way over and sit beside my father, across from Vincent and Harlow.
“Oh, Sivan! Glad you made it,” my father says. He pats my leg and gives me a big smile.
I’m not even going to look at Harlow, and at this point, I don’t think I could even if I wanted to, because my eyes are drawn to the only thing that matters to me right now—him.
A server walks over and puts two beers in front of my father and Captain Rodrigo. I don’t remember her name, and they don’t wear nametags here. “Can I get you something, Sivan? Rum?”
“Nah. I’m not really in the mood for anything. Rum seems to have lost its flavor these days.”
My father looks at me in confusion for a moment, then smiles. “Oh! He had some kind of apple shots at his birthday party. Can you make something like that?” he asks the server.
She giggles. “I can make anything Sivan wants.”
Vincent’s head drops, and I can see him squeezing his eyes shut.
“Rum has lost its flavor?” Captain Rodrigo asks me.
I’m staring at Vincent, my eyes haven’t left him once, but he hasn’t even looked up at me.
I decide to answer his father. “Yeah, I tasted something even sweeter than rum, the last time I was with Vincent. I haven’t been able to find anything comparable.
I’ve been desperate to taste it again. I’m almost afraid of how much I want it. ”
Captain Rodrigo looks at my father, then at me. “What the hell did you drink that tasted that good?”
“Take a sip,” my dad says, sliding his beer to me. “Was it this?”
I pick the bottle up, as the server comes behind me and whispers in my ear. “I get off at midnight, if you’re interested.”
Now, Vincent is looking at me. I take a swig from the bottle, while we stare intensely at one another. “Sorry. You’re not my type,” I tell the server.
“Don’t take it personally,” my father says to her. “He’s like that with everyone.”
Vincent is still staring at me—it’s the same look he gave me before I left earlier. He wants me to bail him out.
My father looks in between the two of us, pointing. “What’s going on, did you two have a fight? Or are you still feeling ill?”
My gaze is locked on Vincent as I reply, “I’m fine. I just need to use the restroom quickly.”
There’s a window inside the restroom that we’ve used to escape women more than a few times. In the past, whenever one of us needed to get out of a situation, we’d share a look, then meet up in the bathroom, and slip outside unnoticed.
On my way toward the restroom, I hear Harlow’s voice shouting something. I refuse to turn around, though, because I know he’ll follow me. Quickly, I turn the doorknob and step inside. So many things still don’t add up for me, but I know my best friend, he’ll come.
“Harlow, back up!” I hear Vincent shout outside of the door. The door barely opens, but does just enough that I can see him, before a hand pulls it closed.
Harlow shouts, “Back up?! Why? So you can go in there with him? No. I don’t think so.”
He followed me. I knew he would. This little game she’s playing with him ends now. I pull him by the arm inside with me, then I lock the door.
Just thirty minutes ago, I had so much to say, and now with him standing so close, my hand on his forearm, I’m speechless. I only want one thing with him this close to me.
Vincent is moving in closer, his hand is sliding up my chest, while the other cups my cheek.
His lips are so close, I can practically taste him.
The two of us are staring at one another, our bodies now pressed together while Vincent grabs a fistful of my shirt.
I can’t wait any longer. I press my mouth to his and kiss him.
He lets out the slightest whimper, and it’s only furthering this urgency I feel right now.
My tongue brushes his softly, while his massages mine at a much stronger pace.
I don’t want to stop kissing him, I want more. I want to savor the taste of him.
Two loud bangs force us to separate. “Open this door!” Harlow shouts.
“You have to get out of here. I can explain later,” Vincent says, pushing me toward the window.
I don’t have time to think about the kiss we just shared when he’s pushing me away. The two of us eye the window in the bathroom. “You want me to go out the window by myself? You just want to go back out there with her?”
He places his hands on my shoulders. “No. I want to be with you, Sivan.”
He wants to be with me.
“You go first, she’s not gonna wait much longer,” he says. “She’ll get Muffy to open the door.”
I hop onto the counter and push the window open, squeezing out first. Then I jump down to the ground, while Vincent follows behind. We’re on the opposite side of the pub, so we’ll have to go around the back side to avoid running into anyone.
“Alright, we need to walk fast. We can’t stay here. Where should we go?” Vincent asks, wiping his hands on his pants and straightening his bright red coat.
“Let’s head back to my father’s ship,” I say.
“That’s smart, it’s the one place she really can’t follow us,” Vincent says.
We start walking quickly toward my father’s ship, which is pretty close by.
His hand is only a few inches from mine, as we walk side by side.
We’re not even talking, but Vincent seems really nervous.
I want to protect him and make whatever is bothering him better, even if I’m also mad and want answers, but he’s here with me, and in this moment, I only want to comfort him.
“I want to hold your hand, but we can’t chance someone seeing us. If anyone else were to find out…”
He takes my hand in his for just a moment and squeezes it, looking over his shoulders. “Well, I have news on that.”
“What news?”
He sighs, shaking his head. “You’re not gonna be happy, so brace yourself. But we’re almost to the ship, maybe we should wait until we get in your room.”
“Just tell me.”
“Harlow has an audio recording of us—”
I have no idea what he’s talking about. “Us? Us as in what?”
“Us as in—sex. She has audio of it.”
“I don’t remember having sex with you,” I say snarkishly.