Chapter 9 Throwing the Trash Out
What the hell was that fool going on about?
He smelled like piss, and he looked even worse than he smelled.
I was taught pretty early on that pirates that don’t agree with our ways will try to cause problems; it comes with the territory.
Pirates will resort to anything to get what they want, so it makes sense that he was trying to piss me off.
He did annoy me, but not in the way that he was probably hoping to.
All he really did was make me question how I ever thought this plan to marry Harlow would actually work.
Sivan’s hand lightly squeezes mine, as we stand behind our fathers inside of Muffy’s pub.
He releases it quickly, only squeezing it enough to let me know he’s here.
This is so fucking stupid. I haven’t even had a second to process all the stuff that’s happened with us since last night, and now all this shit with Slicer is going down.
I know that I want to be with Sivan, but every once in a while, I just can’t believe that it’s real.
How can I be good enough for him? The sex is amazing, and we’ve always had so much fun together, but what scares me is that he’s never really been in a relationship before.
I just feel like everyone needs to go through a few bad relationships before they find the right one.
I don’t want to be the wrong one. I want to be the one for him, the only one.
He said so many sweet things to me last night, and this morning, too, and I really like that he isn’t worried about what other people might think of our relationship, because I feel worried enough for the both of us.
My whole life I’ve been programmed to marry a woman, and now I don’t think that’s something I could ever do.
But why exactly is that so strange to some people?
Isn’t it stranger to be told that you have to love someone of a certain gender?
Same as Captain and Crew, I don’t care what anyone says, it doesn’t make sense.
Because right now, if I was captain, the best decision for me would be to be with Sivan.
The best decision for the crew wouldn’t matter at all to me.
“Vincent,” Sivan says, placing his hand on my shoulder. His face is so close to mine, and I’m suddenly feeling a bit overheated. “Everything okay? Did you figure something out?”
“No. I’m as confused as ever. I have no idea what that guy was going on about.
” I shake my head and exhale, walking beside Sivan.
Something doesn’t feel right, my vision is fine, but my head feels light.
I have so many questions, and I need to do so many things.
Everything I have to do is urgent right now, and I don’t know which thing to focus on, but it feels like all my problems are swirling around me.
I just want to hold Sivan’s hand, or a piece of his jacket…
something to keep me grounded, but I can’t.
“Well, let’s go see what kind of a plan our father’s come up with,” Sivan says.
The sun is blinding as we step outside. Normally, I love the feeling of the sun, but not right now. I squint at Sivan, as my eyes try to adjust. Seems like it’s taking things longer to come into focus, but that’s probably because we were underground in the basement for so long.
“What did that man say a minute ago about Matteo and Harlow, and not worrying about them? Everything is a bit hazy, Sivan. Nothing feels real to me right now. I think I’m having one of those out of body—what do you call those?
Out of body experiences? I feel like I’m watching myself with you right now. Like this is some sort of a movie.”
Sivan tilts his head at me and feels my head with the back of his hand. “You feel a little warm, Vincent. Hey, wait, when you passed out last time, you said it was just stress, right? Does this feel the same?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did you feel like everything was fuzzy before you passed out last time? Or was everything out of body like?” He places the inside of his wrist on my forehead again. “Yeah, you really are pretty warm. Let’s get you back to your room. We can tell our fathers that you aren’t feeling well.”
He takes my hand briefly and locks eyes with me. Our fingers interlock for just a moment, before he lets go. Up ahead, our fathers have put quite a bit of distance between us. I can’t hear their conversation, but they look like they’re arguing.
“Hey, Captain!” Sivan shouts. Our fathers stop walking, and Captain Crawford turns to face us.
“I’m gonna take Vincent back to his room. I think he’s running a fever.”
“Oh? What’s wrong? You don’t feel well all of a sudden?” my father asks.
“I just feel a bit dizzy,” I say.
“Well, we’re headed back to the ship, anyway. We need to gather the crews and hold a meeting.”
I need to tell my dad what the messenger said to me as we were leaving, even though I can’t imagine it will make any difference to him. He’ll probably say the guy was just trying to get under my skin, which I’m sure he was.
Now standing in front of our fathers, I look left to right, making sure neither Matteo nor Harlow are around.
“Captain,” I say. “When you guys went on ahead of us, the messenger mentioned Matteo and Harlow. He said he was at the pub last night watching all of us. Then he said something about not having to worry about one of them for much longer. Sounded almost like a threat.”
“Well, now that’s a bit dramatic,” my father says.
“How could him saying you won’t have to worry about one of them be interpreted as a threat?
You made your fiancée cry, and your first mate, well, soon to be first mate, consoled her.
I have no idea what the messenger meant by not having to worry about one of them, but that didn’t sound like a threat. ”
Sivan cuts into the conversation. “Is there any chance that Captain Slicer is already here in port?”
My father gestures with his hand toward open water and our ships. “Hmmm,” my father says, looking around the empty pier. “No, I don’t think so, he wouldn’t leave his ship, and I see no ship. I don’t even know what the hell he wants. All that nonsense about borrowing something.”
“The idea of you borrowing something from him is preposterous,” Captain Crawford says.
“Yes, yes, I would never. We both hate him to infinity, does that make you happy, Ray?”
“Well, of course it makes me happy. Much better than thinking that you’ve borrowed something from him.”
Oh no, Harlow is walking toward us as we reach the ship. We’ve not stepped aboard yet and I would really like to just bolt. But I know that’s not going to work…I have to deal with her.
“The phone,” Sivan whispers. “Get the phone or the recording device.”
“Oh, right!” I say smiling. “I almost forgot that we have a plan!”
“It seems more like you completely forgot and less like you almost forgot. So, which is it, Dimples?”
I laugh and fan myself. “You can’t get mad at me, because I’m sick. You can’t yell at a sick person. Wait, did you just call me Dimples?”
“I did. I kinda wanna poke them right now, too.”
I feel my cheeks warm. I’m sure I’m blushing.
Sivan giggles, until he makes eye contact with Harlow. I’ve never seen a facial expression flip so fast. The two of them exchange a glance that indicates just how much they hate each other.
Harlow is walking with her arms extended. “There’s my fiancé. I was worried sick about you!” she says in the most overexaggerated manner. “What are you doing in blue? Where are your clothes?”
“Worried sick, huh?” Sivan asks, looking her up and down.
“Of course, I was worried, since my fiancé was gone all night. I had no idea why you’d gone through the window instead of just telling me what you needed. Silly boys.”
Wow, she’s really putting on a show for our fathers who are both watching very closely.
She grabs my arm, hooking hers around it. “Now you’re here with your dear friend, Sivan, and I feel nothing but relief,” she says, looking at Sivan.
Sivan is covering his mouth. He looks like he may snap.
I don’t want to do this, but she holds all the power right now.
If I jerk my arm away, will she just blurt everything out?
I can’t make a scene in front of my father and the crew on deck.
Still, I can’t do this to Sivan. I can’t imagine how frustrated he must be.
He doesn’t even look hurt, he just looks angry.
She knows what she’s doing, so maybe if I just reason with her, calmly…
“Harlow,” I say quietly. “I don’t feel well. I’m going to lie down; so much has happened that I just can’t do this right now.” I lightly pull my arm back.
Sivan steps closer to me. “I’m going to drop him off in his room, Harlow. He’ll probably be ready for company in an hour or so.”
She scoffs loudly, so loudly that people are looking over. “Are you serious? I don’t think so. You two have had your playtime. It’s time for my fiancé to be with me. I need his attention now. I’ve been more than patient.”
Our fathers hear Harlow’s shrieking and turn toward us.
My dad is gonna lose it on me. If there’s one thing he can’t stand, it’s seeing girls upset.
He doesn’t look angry yet, but Captain Crawford is whispering something to him.
He’s giving us a discerning look but seems to be agreeing with whatever Captain Crawford is saying.
“Harlow, darling,” my father calls, “let the boys get settled, I need your help with something.”
“Yes, of course, Captain,” she says, rather obediently, and smiles. “I’ll be just a moment.” With the way she’s smiling, you’d never know how truly horrible she is.