Chapter 18 He’s Not Wearing His Coat #2
“What? When are you talking about? Are you talking about after Sivan left? Yeah, I was a little distracted because I was trying to process the realization that I was gay! And trying to figure out why Sivan, my best friend, wasn’t answering my texts, which you just admitted was your fault!
What do you think I should have been doing at that time?
Wondering why you were upset? You were so busy forcing lies down my throat about him that I couldn’t stand being around you.
If you would’ve told me you were struggling, I would’ve helped you.
Instead, you purposely cut him out of my life and watched me suffer. Who does that to someone?”
He’s standing with his back to the closet that Sivan is in, he’s just a few feet away from it. I can’t help but be afraid that Sivan is going to jump out at any second and just start punching him.
“Someone who didn’t want to be replaced,” he says. “Someone who was already feeling like they didn’t belong. The last thing I needed was for you to cut me out of your life, when you were my only constant. Instead, when I needed you to help me, all you were doing was worrying about him.”
“But I wouldn’t have been worrying, if you would have let him see me or talk to me.”
“When I came in your room that day and saw you two having sex. I came in there to talk to you about my mom.”
“Your mom?”
“I wanted to try and find out who my mom was, to see if she was still around somewhere. I just started to feel out of place a few months before that. When I caught you two in bed, it just showed me that I really didn’t belong.
I had no idea how long you two had been sleeping together and everything just kind of came crashing down on me.
Then, in the meeting room, when you passed out, I just figured if I could keep him away from you, everything would be okay. ”
“Okay for who? You? I didn’t know you were trying to find your mom.
Why didn’t you just tell me that?” I walk toward him slowly, I think I can still fix this.
“I would have helped you. I can still help you. Sivan would help you, too. If this is all about just trying to find your mom, I mean, I—I’ll do whatever I can to help. ”
He drops his head and shakes it. I don’t know if I should just tell him that I know he’s been meeting with Captain Slicer’s crew or just keep trying to reason with him.
“I already found her. I already know everything I need to know. I don’t need your help anymore. It’s too late for that.”
I take another step closer to him and see the closet door move slightly. I also notice that one of the swords is missing from the wall display. Sivan must have grabbed one before we came down. “What do you mean you found her? Where is she?”
“It’s not important. She didn’t want me anyway.” He holds a hand over his mouth. He looks like he’s fighting back tears. “I really gotta go. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t belong here.”
I grab his forearm. “What do you mean you shouldn’t be here? Of course, you should. You can still be part of our crew even if you’re not my first mate.”
“Vincent, you have to think. You haven’t figured any of this out yet? Why do I have to spell everything out for you? I’m not going to be a part of your crew.”
He looks down at my hand on his arm, then back up to me, with his right hand he pulls a small dagger from inside the back of his pants and palms it flat against my chest.
Before I can react, Sivan has a sword against Matteo’s throat. “Drop your fucking blade.”
“Now, this is what I was waiting for,” Matteo says. “Rather stupid of you to threaten the son of a captain.”
Sivan is behind him, and the blade is pressed tightly against Matteo’s skin; I can see the pressure building around it, as the skin turns bright red.
The office door swings open. “Both of you, drop your weapons,” Rooster says.
“No, I will not. This is my ship and he’s holding a blade against my captain’s chest.”
Rooster gestures to Matteo’s neck. “Yeah, and you have a blade against his throat. We can talk about whatever is bothering all of you. No blood needs to be spilled here.”
“If he drops the sword, I will drop my blade,” Matteo says. “It’s not even pressed against Vincent. It’s flat against his chest. I knew he was in here; I was just trying to draw him out. I would never stab Vincent. No matter how much I hate him.”
“Oh, fuck you, Matteo. No. I’m not gonna drop my sword.”
Rooster stands beside us; my heart feels like it may explode right now. “Let me take this,” he says placing his hand atop Matteo’s.
Matteo releases the blade, but Sivan doesn’t move.
“Sivan, drop it, for me,” I plead. “He doesn’t want to be here. Just let him go.”
“Come over here first,” Sivan says. “I know how fast he is with a blade.” Matteo holds his hands out to the side, and I walk around, taking my place beside Sivan.
“Should my blade find your throat again, I won’t hesitate,” Sivan warns, finally removing the sword from Matteo’s neck.
Matteo turns and looks at the two of us. “I came here wondering if you still trusted me, wondering if you really saw me as your brother, and now, I truly know that you don’t, and you probably never did.”
Rooster holds the door open. “You men need some time to cool off. Don’t say anything else that you might regret.”