38. Athena
Athena
Iwoke in the dark, curled against a body so warm and solid that for the first time in a long while, I felt safe and content.
Lorken's chest rose and fell beneath my cheek, slow and even, one heavy arm draped loosely across my back. Now I understood why he preferred to sleep bare beneath the furs. There was something to be said for skin against skin, especially after we’d collapsed into a sweaty tangle of limbs.
I eased myself up carefully, propping onto one elbow, and let my eyes adjust to the low light.
The wall of glass stood uncovered tonight, and the distant scatter of stars cast just enough of a pale glow to make out the shape of him stretched beside me on his back.
My mouth went dry at the broad plane of his chest rising and falling, the ridges of muscle across his stomach, and the thick, heavy length of him even at rest, dark markings curling along his cock just like they inked his chest. My fingers itched to trace those markings, but I didn't want to wake him. Not yet.
I was still tender, and as much as I’d loved being fucked by him, I did want to be able to walk again at some point.
I slid carefully off the platform, my bare feet finding the cool floor, and tiptoed across the room to the wall of glass, letting the endless dark and scattered stars settle the frantic churn of my thoughts.
So much had happened that it was hard to pinpoint when I’d gone from being a reluctant guest to being a very willing lover, but the wild rage in Lorken’s eyes as he’d fought his brother over me had made me feel safer than I had in ages.
My cheeks warmed at the memory, at just how badly I'd wanted him, how little hesitation I'd felt once I'd made up my mind.
I had no regrets about it. Sex with him had been, without question, the best I'd ever had, and Lorken had made me feel cherished in a way no man ever had before, like I was something precious rather than something merely coveted.
But wanting him didn't change anything. Not really.
My plan hadn't shifted an inch. The moment he found a safe planet for the troupe, I intended to hold him to his word and walk away.
I'd learned a long time ago that depending on a man was a fool's errand.
I fully intended to enjoy a good deal more of Lorken while I had the chance, but enjoying a man in bed and giving up my independence for one were two very different things, and I wasn't foolish enough to confuse the two just because the sex had muddled my brain.
Besides, my presence on this ship had already caused enough damage.
I could hardly imagine what might come of it if I stayed.
Zarn clearly despised me, and he was Lorken’s brother and battle chief.
I couldn’t imagine the two of us coexisting peacefully after what had transpired.
No, it was better for everyone that I stick to the plan and leave.
An arm slid around my waist from behind, and I yelped, startled from my thoughts.
“It’s just me,” Lorken murmured against my ear, his mouth finding the curve of my neck as his hands pressed flat to my belly, his palms warm against my skin. "Why did you leave my furs?"
"Just thinking," I said, my breath catching as his thumbs brushed slow circles across my flesh. "Enjoying the stars."
"Mm." His voice rumbled low against my skin. “Thinking about coming back to sleep?”
I sighed but decided to be honest. “Thinking about when I’ll be out there on some new world.”
His hands went still and his body stiffened. “You wish to leave?”
“That was always the deal, right?” I didn’t turn fully but I angled my head to see his stern expression. “The last time I checked, we were on our way to a suitable place where my friends and I can relocate. Has that changed?”
He hadn’t released me from his grip, but his embrace no longer felt warm and intimate. “I thought that…”
Now I twisted to face him fully and placed my hands on his cheeks.
“Please don’t think that I haven’t loved every moment of this, and I will be forever grateful to you for saving me from being tortured, but a warbird was never going to be the solution for me.
I’m an actress. I love being on stage. I love my friends.
I can’t give all that up no matter how amazing the sex is. ”
He grunted, not seemingly convinced.
“I would never ask you to give up your horde and the life you’ve built as a Raas, and you shouldn’t ask the same of me. Sometimes lives cross paths but don’t merge, and that’s okay. This has been the most fun I’ve ever had crossing paths with someone.”
His frown softened. “I did not think that I would be asking you to give up what makes you you. I would not wish to stop being Raas.”
I scraped my nails gently down his scruffy cheeks. “That doesn’t mean we can’t have fun crossing paths more before I leave.”