Chapter 22 Closer Please
Chapter twenty-two
Closer Please
Alaceandra
Waking up, my body is warm and languid. I snuggle into the heater to my left and sigh happily, fighting and losing against sleep trying to pull me back into its depths.
Before I can surrender completely to my familiar friend, my heat source starts to chuckle, startling me back to reality.
I groan and blink my eyes open. My body stills.
I am staring into a very naked, muscular chest. A shirt that smells suspiciously of Sorin is draped over me.
Still half asleep, I shiver as I feel Sorin start to stroke my hair lazily.
Snuggling deeper into what I now remember to be Sorin, I start to slowly trace the lines of his chest, committing them to memory.
Life has been fucking insane lately and I cannot help but want to ensure I do not forget this moment in the safety of Sorin's embrace.
It may be your last. My finger pauses over a scar curving up the side of his chest. It is raised slightly but definitely not new.
Before I can examine it further, a voice brings my attention upwards.
“Having fun, Firefly?” Sorin is staring down at me, a small smile touching his features.
My eyes dart up to his before falling back on his chest, my cheeks flushing pink. “Sorry, I have not noticed this scar before. When did you get it?”
He glances down at the scar.
I frown. “It looks brutal,” I whisper tracing over a particularly jagged line.
He shrugs. “I got into a scuffle during what was supposed to be a training mission your father sent me on a few years back.” He runs his fingers through my hair, causing goosebumps to race along my skin.
“It’s a souvenir. I am fine though, promise.
You should have seen the other guys.” He winks at me.
“I think it was around mid-year? When I was gone for a moon cycle.”
“After our adventure to the borders?”
He nods.
I shift away from him. “Why am I only now hearing about this mission? Mother told me you were visiting another village... I thought maybe you wanted to take time away because...” because we almost crossed a line.
We ran into some guards right before we made it out to the bordering lands.
When we ran away, Sam, Sorin and I ended up sandwiched between each other at the bottom of a hole hiding from my father's men for hours. I had just turned nineteen and the men had started acting distant around me. I was excited to be alone with them. Sam had been more and more obsessed with some assignment, and Sorin had been training hard in the king’s guard.
This was the one adventure they both agreed I could go on and we ended up almost caught.
Being bored and cooped up in that hole started out innocently enough.
We talked. We waited. Only this time the conversation did not stay on king-mandated topics.
This time I pushed our conversation to more heated subjects.
Their hands wandered as their bodies pressed against either side of me.
Thinking back now, I realize this could have been the time that my crush became reality.
Where I could have finally explored these two men without society or familial duties getting in the way.
No one would have known, but before anything could truly happen, a bell rang in the distance announcing it was time for dinner, jolting us out of whatever spell we had been under.
I quickly crawled out of the hole, using light-hearted jokes and feigning ignorance of the whole situation until we had arrived home.
It was awkward between us after and when I heard he had left I was terrified it had something to do with me.
To make matters worse, Sam had also gone back to being withdrawn, refocusing on whatever assignment he had taken a break from.
When Sorin returned, he acted as if nothing had ever happened.
Sam had finished his assignment, and we continued as normal.
As if we had never been trapped in that hole in the first place.
Which honestly had not made me feel any better.
I always wondered what would have happened that day.
If that stupid bell had not rung. If I had never climbed out.
I am not sure if it is better now knowing he was out risking his life and almost dying instead of avoiding me or not.
I let out a long breath. “Well, it does not matter now, but I always thought the timing of your departure was... odd.”
He quirks an eyebrow and then scoffs. He nudges my chin up to look at his.
“I did not choose to leave, Lace. Your father sent Sam and I on many missions after that day. This one was just the beginning. Once he knows you are useful…” He gives me a knowing look.
“I was tasked with chasing a group who had infiltrated our southern border. They um... apparently had intel the princess liked to venture around the borders and decided to make a move.” He smirks, before his face turns serious.
“They dressed as Tikilium guards and had followed soldiers back to the castle. After poisoning the crops in the King’s Garden, they made their escape.
If it wasn’t for the queen’s sister nearly dying from the ingestion of the plant, it might have ended up on your plate.
The king sent me out to... take care of the men, but the mission was much more difficult than what I had been briefed on.
I should never have been on it, especially not alone, but—”
“What? Alone? You had only started training a year prior—”
“Like I said, I should not have been alone. I think the king wanted to teach me a lesson.”
Guilt slams into me. “That was all my fault." Horror fills my tone.
His eyes harden and a faraway look steals away his focus. “No, it was not, Lace. If anything, it was mine for...” he chokes and then lets out a frustrated noise before sighing. “Please… just don’t blame yourself.”
I stare at him but decide not to push it, simply nodding at him. “Can I ask one more question?”
“Depends.”
“Was the queen’s sister okay?” How have I not heard of an aunt before?
His smile turns beaming. The light returning to his eyes. “Yes! Luckily the healer had encountered the poison before and knew how to handle it. It was a bit touch and go, but she ended up just fine. You should know. It was Mandi.”
My mouth drops open. “Mandi?” Horror, guilt and betrayal swirl in my gut. Why was I never informed of this? We had grown so close over these last few years. How is that something you can hide for so long? My palms are sweating and I do my best to retain my outward composure.
“Yes.”
I cannot help but thank Ptheryeth she is okay, but fuck.
My stomach drops. Mandi is my aunt, not just a dear friend.
Why she had served as my handmaiden all these years, instead of as part of the royal court?
Will I ever find out now that she has escaped the castle?
If she of all people could retain such a secret for so long, what else could I be missing?
Question after question invade my head as I sit with this new information.
Right before I feel like I am about to be thrown into a panic attack, Sorin interrupts my thoughts.
Sorin stretches. “As much as I wish we can stay in this little cocoon forever, we need to get going. We do not know how much progress the people who captured us have made since we escaped. We are safest if we keep moving. How are you feeling?”
I force a smile. “Better. I slept well.”
“Good.” He unravels himself from me and stands, offering me a hand up. I take it and stand. “Let’s get going, it’ll be harder to find Sam once the sun goes down.” He touches the cave wall and focuses, before leading me outside.
I turn around and look at the place we took refuge the night before. It is now covered with vines and branches, its exterior camouflaged in the world around it. I give it a little pat before setting off with Sorin.
We walk for a while through the dead limbs of the forest. I have decided to tuck Mandi’s secret into the recesses of my brain for now.
I have far too much to figure out and at the very least I should confront her about this revelation before making any final decisions.
Hopefully I will get the chance to do that soon.
My dress is now, thankfully, swirling around my thighs rather than snagging on branches surrounding us.
The gentle brushing of the fabric against me causes my body to flush with the memory of Sorin's hands on my thighs the night before.
I try to sneak a glance at Sorin, only to make eye contact.
Shit, he totally knows I am blushing. I trip over a stray stick, and he laughs. How embarrassing.
“Sooooo….” He slowly starts. Here it comes.
“So?” I brace myself.
“Looks like someone’s come into her powers.”
My eyes widen and I stop in my tracks. “Powers?”
“Of course,” he laughs, grabbing my hand and pulling me forward to continue “The cave on fire last night? It was kind of hard to miss.”
My eyes are saucers at this point. “I thought I was going crazy; you did not react and—” I process what he just said. “Wait, that was me?”
He gives me a confused smile. “Of course, Firefly, who else would have done it?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “So now you too then?”
He tilts his head. “What?”
“With the pet names! This is the second time you have called me that!”
“What?” He snorts. “It’s cute! You made the whole cave glow!”
I toss my head back in frustration. “Whatever... you would think Lace would be enough.”
His laughter lessens. “You’ll always be my Lace.” I soften slightly. “But.... now as it so happens you are also a firefly. A glowing light that is so fun to chase.”
I huff and roll my eyes, but a smile peeks through. “I thought we were under attack.”
He squeezes my hand. “Nope. Someone just got a little too excited.”
“You are one to talk.”
“I am.” He scratches the back of his head.
“I should probably be more in control of my powers before we do that again then, so that I refrain from setting our surroundings ablaze...” If he wants to kiss me again after all of that. Elvisera start to do cartwheels in my belly as I let the unspoken question hang in the air.
A sparkle enters his gaze. He pulls me to a stop and presses a soft kiss to my forehead.
“That would probably be a good idea." He answers my unspoken question and I try not to jump for joy.
"I think it is important we enjoy our time here as much as possible and ensure we can find a good way to control that power of yours while we do it, as dangerous as this place is it could be the perfect opportunity for you to train these abilities of yours.” We continue walking.
I smile to myself, feeling more confident as we continue.
“While we are talking about training... I think it might be good if I could learn some extra skills. I know we went on a couple adventures back in Tikilium but none where I really have had to wield a weapon. Nor any I have felt truly in danger during. When the men found me in the woods I could only do so much before running was my only option. I do not want to feel that way again. A couple fake sword fights with Sam and you only can really get me so far it seems.” I let out a self-deprecating laugh. Tension dropping from my shoulders.
“Hey, from what I heard you did pretty well for yourself. Looks like you even had your first kill out there.” Sorin tries to soothe me, but the reminder I killed someone does not bring me as much comfort as it probably should.
I have seen a lot of death in my life, but never have I been so closely associated with it.
“As much as I want to say there will never be another instance such as that again, I realize there are no reassurances here. If we are caught off guard again... I do not want you captured. I can't stand the thought...” I run a thumb along the top of his hand. “We will start training once we are far enough away from their camp. I am hopeful after a couple days’ journey we might be far enough away that we can buy ourselves time. Maybe find resources and shelter too.” He runs his thumb over my hand in response. “On one condition though, Firefly.”
“What is the condition?”
“If there is a chance you can run, you take it. Do not let any training convince you fighting is better than running. No matter what, getting away from the enemy is the best option.”
“But what if--”
“The. Best. Option. Lace.” He says firmly. “No matter what.”
I bite my lip and nod. Then decide to pivot the subject. “What about Sam? How are we going to find him?”
“We can search during the day. For now, let’s try to only worry about finding shelter and food.
It is going to get dark soon.” My face falls and he squeezes my hand, continuing in a gentle tone.
“He is a priority to me, but I suspect it might take a couple of days to track him. This place is filled with death, and I don’t want to join the decor.
” He attempts to move a blackened branch from our path, causing it to splinter and fall from its tree.
Letting go of my hand, he gracefully climbs over the fallen branch and then reaches to hoist me over it as well.
“I could have done that myself.” I mumble.
“I am sure you could, but the branch screams splinters and it is too big for you to climb without having to touch all over it.”
I roll my eyes, my body warming at the spots he had just held me.
"Touche." He continues to walk ahead of me, not reaching for my hand again and something inside of me cries at the loss.
I watch him as I try to delicately weave through shrubbery.
That kiss yesterday was mind-altering. It is no wonder that it triggered my powers.
And his vines? My mind keeps racing back to the moment over and over again and I cannot help but want to see how far we can go, powers be damned.
He is one of your best friends. I remind myself.
Yes, but that is only because there was no opportunity for something more.
Not with my father's eyes constantly on us, or the kingdom's judgment.
Although the setting is not ideal, this could be that opportunity— the only opportunity I get to explore whatever this thing is between us.
Be honest with yourself, Alaceandra, can you truly be okay with never knowing?
I slant my eyes towards Sorin and watch as he maneuvers around a large rock.
No, I do not think I can. Taking another chance, I reach for his hand and grab it.
He looks back at me, his eyes glittering with mischief.
"Shush." I say pre-emptively. "We should find somewhere to sleep."
He smiles gently, his large hand wrapping around mine. "You got it, Firefly."