CHAPTER EIGHT #3
“All these years,” I said bitterly. “You watched me grieve them. You held me every time I cried. You stayed silent every time I wondered who was responsible. You had so many chances to tell the truth. So many fucking chances. I can’t decide what makes you more monstrous—the fact that you killed them or the fact that you’ve been keeping it from me ever since. ”
I expected Oliver to flinch again, but instead, he just looked tired. His shoulders fell in a barely perceptible movement. “You’re not the only one who’s been tormented, Fortuna. I’m not the monster you think I am. I’m just the monster you wanted me to be.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I demanded, my hands still fisted at my sides. It had started to rain now, just light pinpricks of cold on my cheeks.
Oliver met my gaze, and though his eyes were full of pain, they were bitter, too.
“It’s as I said the night I cleaned your wounds—you created me.
I am a thing born of fear and violence. When I became reality, that was all I knew.
The moment you regained consciousness, I was forced back inside.
That’s where I was able to learn and grow. Most of it alongside you, remember?”
I didn’t answer. The storm was gaining strength, and I could feel one gathering inside me, too. I needed to run, to get away and think.
I’d squeezed my eyes shut, and before I could say anything to Oliver, I felt his hands cup my cheeks. Mine immediately rose to grip his wrists. “Don’t touch me,” I whispered.
In an instant, his warmth fell away. I still hadn’t opened my eyes, and every sound felt enhanced as he asked, “Is that really what you want?”
Doubt fluttered in my chest like some small-winged thing. I frowned and shook my head, then finally opened my eyes and looked at Oliver again. “I don’t know.”
Thunder made the ground tremble. He glanced up at the sky, a frown hovering in the lines around his mouth. I searched his face for any sign of the Beast, almost desperate for it, but all I could see was Ollie. Confusion and turmoil swirled through me.
When he lowered his head again, his features had hardened, as if he’d decided something. “I love you, Fortuna. And I know you love me, too,” Oliver said.
“Do you know what loving you feels like?” I cried, flattening my hand against my chest as if I could protect the heart aching within.
But it was far too late for that. I swallowed, my eyes wide as I stared at Oliver and continued raggedly, “Loving you is like holding onto a rope that’s constantly pulling me into the darkness.
Even as my hands tear and bleed, I hold on.
It would be so much better if I let go, but I just keep—”
“And you think it’s any easier for me?” Oliver countered, his jaw feathering as he glared back.
His eyes were overly bright, betraying his pain.
“I was a prisoner, forced to watch you come and go. Forced to stand by and listen as other lovers brought you pleasure. Forced to stay even when you didn’t want me anymore.
I was hardly more than a dog begging for scraps! ”
My voice was cold now. “Then let’s finally be done with this, and let each other go.”
“Fine. You first,” Oliver challenged.
“Fine.” I whirled and walked away, shivering in the biting wind. There was something wilder about this place now, as though all our pain had changed it. The light sheet of rain had given way to a thickening torrent.
Oliver’s long-legged strides caught up with mine in no time. “If you really wanted to leave, you wouldn’t still be here,” his low voice said by my ear.
“That’s not—” I started just before he pulled me back in a way that was entirely unlike the Oliver I’d always known. I instinctively wrenched my arm, and my heel slipped from the movement. We both went tumbling.
Oliver tried to break my fall, twisting so that he took the brunt of it.
I landed on top of him, my palms sliding through the dirt, which had turned into mud thanks to the rain.
I came to a stop with my mouth a breath above Oliver’s.
I looked into his eyes, panting. He was panting, too.
With every breath, I felt his body brush against mine.
Thunder rumbled around us, my hair streaming over my shoulders.
Oliver’s fingers tightened against my sides.
His gaze dropped to my mouth, and slowly, his erection hardened between my legs.
That was all it took. Like a match to an open flame, we exploded into movement.
Oliver sat up, his hands sliding up my back as we kissed, our mouths and tongues moving hard and fast. We consumed each other while Oliver guided me onto my back, and he only eased away to remove my underwear, then his pants.
I propped myself up on my elbows, battling impatience and need.
At first, I watched the muscles in Oliver’s stomach tighten and flex.
Then my gaze slowly rose, stopping on the freckles over the bridge of his nose.
As he returned, I felt him pushing my dress up around my hips.
Moments later, Oliver loomed over me and his head lowered, nipping and kissing my neck.
My fingers splayed along his hard triceps.
I tipped my head back, heedless of the mud and the rain—I barely felt it.
This was wrong, I thought. God, I knew it was wrong.
The walls were coming down on every side and neither of us cared.
I drew my legs back, skimming them along Oliver’s body, and then opened wide for him.
I clawed at his back, trying to urge him forward, and he folded over me for another heavy kiss before positioning himself square with my opening.
Anticipation pooled inside me. Lightning streaked across the sky, barely more than a distracting flash as I lost myself in Oliver’s taste again, his smell, the way his hands felt on my bare skin.
But when I felt the tip of Oliver’s cock brush against my folds, reason returned in a rush.
“Wait. Stop,” I gasped.
Oliver yanked away. I tugged my dress down and scooted back, too.
We were both still breathing hard, and I knew that if I didn’t leave now, I might give in to the desire still roaring through me.
“Tell Lucifer that I want a meeting. Tomorrow morning at Adam’s shop. You owe me, Oliver,” I added raggedly.
His face twitched like I had stabbed him again. He got to his feet, and he watched as I did the same, keeping a healthy distance between us now. “Fine,” Oliver said.
Surprise made me pause. I’d been ready for him to put up a fight. “Fine?”
He nodded and began to turn away, as if he was going to leave.
But then Oliver paused. He angled his body in my direction again, not quite facing me, his eyes lowered.
The wind almost snatched his voice away as he said quietly, “I may pull you into the darkness, but you pull me into the light. Beautiful, blinding light. However this ends, just know that.”
I swallowed. We kept staring at each other through the storm, and every beat of my heart felt like a raw throb. “We can’t ever—” I started.
Oliver’s attention shifted, and just like that, he was the Beast again.
Those black veins spread beneath his skin like tree roots, his eyes going completely black.
I twisted around to see what had made Oliver change so quickly.
When I saw the figure coming toward us through the rain, my eyes widened, and it felt like the ground fell out from beneath me.
“Collith? How did you …”
He stopped on the path, and those familiar hazel eyes moved down my body, probably checking for injuries.
Strangely, Collith wore the clothes he’d been in when we’d met for the first time, and the collar of his gray coat stirred in the gathering storm.
“I couldn’t wake you, and there’s a situation that needs your attention,” he said.
“Situation?” I repeated, my pulse picking up speed. “What do you mean?”
Instead of answering, Collith’s nostrils flared, and I realized there were probably still traces of my fear in the air. And maybe something else, too. Heat rushed into my cheeks, but Collith wasn’t looking at me—all of his focus had gone to Oliver.
“So you’re him,” he said.
“And you’re him,” Oliver replied. His voice was like gravel, probably due to how his teeth had elongated. I glanced down and noted his claws, which were black as a starless night.
As the faerie and the Beast sized each other up, I was completely at a loss for what to say.
It felt like my two worlds were meeting in a crash collision.
Even though we’d been hunting Oliver for months, I had never imagined him and Collith together.
It was so surreal that it took me an extra moment to remember why he had come.
“You said there was a situation?” I managed, focusing on Collith.
He didn’t respond. He was still studying Oliver, and something in his features had gone predatory, as well.
It was a look I’d never seen Collith give anyone before.
In that moment, I knew he was considering whether or not to kill the Beast. Ironically, I couldn’t let him do that, not until Oliver had arranged my meeting with Lucifer.
I turned and closed the small distance between me and Collith.
“Hey. Let’s go home,” I said. When he gave no indication that he’d heard, I put my hand on his chest. “Collith.”
He put his hand over mine, and his gaze finally returned to me. The dangerous glint hadn’t completely faded, but he sounded more like himself as he replied, “Yes. We should go.”
I didn’t dare look in Oliver’s direction again.
Collith knew me too well, and my expression might have given something away.
So without another word to either of them, I closed my eyes and thought, I want to wake up.
I imagined the warm loft I’d left behind.
I pictured the soft lights and the high ceilings.
I heard the patter of Hello’s small feet and Matthew’s happy babbling.
A breath filled my chest, and I released it slowly, all the tension easing from my body.
When I opened my eyes again, I was home.
I sat upright, and the blanket that had been draped over me fell to the floor. Collith knelt beside the couch. Once he saw that I was conscious, he stood. I took his hand and let him help me up, too.
“Okay, now what’s the big emergency?” I asked. My voice felt too casual for what had just happened, but I didn’t know how else to act.
Collith just inclined his dark head and said, “It’s downstairs.”
It? I would’ve been alarmed, but Collith’s demeanor was calm. Intrigued now, I followed him down the stairwell, trailing my fingers along the wall to steady myself.
The moment I reached the bottom step, I scanned the barn. At first, everything seemed normal. Then I sensed movement nearby, and my gaze snapped toward the training room. I stiffened.
“Easy,” Collith murmured. “I don’t think it intends us any harm.”
Just as I started to demand answers, there was a soft sound that reminded me of the click of Stanley’s claws. Seconds later, a huge, scaled creature crawled timidly into the light.
For a moment, I stared with disbelief, and I wondered if I hadn’t left the dreamscape after all. A slow, delighted grin stretched across my face.
“Narfu?”