CHAPTER SEVENTEEN #3
A moment later, we stepped onto the mat together.
I positioned myself into a ready stance.
Left foot forward, feet shoulder-width apart, fists at my waist. Collith mirrored me, the lights shining down on his perfect fae features.
Narfu watched us from his corner, sitting so still that he looked like a statue.
His strange black eyes were bright, but I couldn’t tell if it was concern or excitement.
It was a reminder that I needed to get a grip on my own feelings.
In the past, my bursts of power—and most of the mistakes I’d made—were because of those unchecked emotions.
Anger, fear, pain. Now, as I faced Collith, my entire body tensing in readiness, I imagined Finn’s lake again.
I waited for the lapping water and creaking boat sounds to lull me into calm.
But tonight, it didn’t work. Collith waited patiently while I stood there, breathing deeply and trying to find another place, another grounding method.
Then the dreamscape popped into my head.
Since the night I’d freed Oliver, I had stopped using our place as an anchor.
What had once been happy memories had turned to pain and dust the second I’d found out what Oliver was.
What he’d done. But now I thought about the hills of golden grass and that big, rustling tree.
I heard the distant roar of the sea. The roiling anxiety within me slowly quieted, until my mind contained only blue skies and the cry of a seagull.
A moment later, I opened my eyes and launched at Collith.
He slipped and parried my first strike instantly, then went on the offense, forcing me to back away.
A stationary target was easy to hit, so I kept moving, trying to stay off his line of attack.
But Collith came at me like a hammer, giving me no chance to think, only react.
I used my elbows against his strikes and ducked beneath his arms. Even with Michael’s power, sweat was already dripping down the small of my back.
Adam was fast, but Collith was faster. I remembered that he’d trained with an original angel, and Sylvyre had not been gentle or patient.
“What are you feeling right now?” Collith asked as we circled each other. His expression was as calm as ever, and something about his composure got under my skin. Guess I hadn’t anchored myself as well as I’d thought.
“Pissed,” I snapped. I attempted a spinning kick to his torso, which Collith artfully dodged.
Narfu chirped from his corner, and there was definitely tension in the sound.
But I couldn’t spare him a glance or a soothing word.
Collith and I went back to circling, and I watched his every movement sharply, trying to anticipate him.
“Okay. What else?” Collith countered, that stubborn lock of hair hanging over his eye.
“Pretty sure I’m just pissed.” Hoping to catch him off guard, I lunged forward, going for a palm-heel strike.
But Collith took advantage of the vulnerable position I’d put myself in—before I could check myself, he spun as if we were dancing and bear hugged me from behind, using his preternatural strength to keep me from breaking free.
His smell assailed my senses, dark and earthy and alluring.
“Anger? Pretty sure that’s fear I’m tasting,” Collith murmured. His lips brushed against the tender shell of my ear as he leaned even closer and asked, “What are you afraid of, Fortuna?”
I gritted my teeth and dropped into a crouch.
In the same breath, I shifted my hip and wrenched one of my arms back to elbow Collith in the testicles.
He saw it coming and was forced to release his hold—human or faerie, no male liked getting hit in the balls.
I swung around so quickly that, for an instant, it almost felt as though I’d sifted.
Collith recovered in time to block me, and we went at each other so fast, so hard that I barely felt the jarring pain that shuddered through my bones with every strike.
Neither of us was able to flatten the other, and I was tiring.
Collith must’ve been struggling, as well, because he eventually relented, backing away from me until he reached the edge of the mat.
I leaned over and braced my hands on my knees, breathing hard.
A drop of sweat slid down my temple. I watched it fall and splatter on the plastic, but my thoughts had returned to the war. Collith’s question echoed through me.
What are you afraid of, Fortuna?
I stared at that round, dark spot as I said, “No one is coming, Collith, and we both know it. I can’t convince any of them. I failed.”
Even Cora had denied me. The memory burned through my mind for the hundredth time since that night, and I gritted my teeth again, wondering yet again if there was anything I could’ve done differently.
Moonlight shone down on the clearing. The young werewolf alpha stood in front of me, her chin held high.
Her fear tasted like apples, but none of it showed in her expression or the way she stood.
If I hadn’t been so desperate, I would’ve been proud.
Cora had come a long way from the timid female I’d met last year.
“Since when does a wolf back down from a fight?” I demanded, ignoring Collith’s gentle touch on my arm.
For all of these meetings, he’d been the diplomat, the good cop.
Usually his cool presence could temper my flares of frustration, but not tonight.
Maybe it was being back in these woods, where we’d faced Astrid, the old werewolf alpha. Being here made me think of Finn.
And I knew that if we couldn’t convince Cora to help us, or any of the others, I would lose more people I loved.
“If what you’re saying is true and the world is about to be overtaken by demons, what good would it do to fight them? My pack would only get torn apart,” Cora told me. Behind us, her people made sounds of agreement. The sounds rose into the night and were swallowed by distant, aloof stars.
Silence fell as they all waited for my response.
For a moment, I just stood there, wishing I was the kind of person who could make eloquent speeches.
I wished I could pawn this conversation, this task, onto Collith or Laurie.
But they weren’t the ones who had caused all this; they weren’t the reason we were in danger.
I’d brought Lucifer into our world, and according to Nym, it would be me who kicked him out of it.
But I couldn’t do it by myself. We needed everyone—the faeries, the wolves, the rats.
To defeat the Dark Prince, Fallenkind would have to unite for the first time since we’d tumbled from the skies.
We had to put aside old prejudices and ancient grudges, and we couldn’t let fear send us running into the dark, as we’d been doing for centuries. It was time for change.
The taste of apples was still in my mouth. I knew that if I exposed it, Cora would look weak in front of the pack. So I stepped closer to her, ignoring her beta’s warning growl, and my voice was low as I said, “What good would it do surviving if you hate yourself afterward, Cora?”
There was another beat of silence as she looked back at me, her eyebrows knitted together, as if she was reconsidering. The trees rustled in a brief gust of wind, and my ponytail tugged to the side. I kept my eyes on her. Waiting. Hoping. Praying.
My heart had just started to lift when the alpha shook her head again. “I’m sorry, Fortuna,” she said.
My heart sank right back down, and then it kept going.
It felt like there was a heavy stone in my chest and a dozen knots in my stomach.
Once again, the pack waited for me to answer.
My reputation must’ve proceeded me, because there were more flavors on my tongue now.
Apparently even the werewolves were afraid of my famous temper.
The truth was, I probably could’ve forced them to do what I wanted.
But that would make me no better than Lucifer.
In the end, all I said was, “I’m sorry, too.”
I nodded at Cora and the werewolf standing next to her, and Collith murmured a polite farewell.
Together, we went back the way we’d come and walked through the crowd, who parted to form a path.
But then I stopped at the edge of the trees.
Knowing that every werewolf in the clearing could hear me, I looked at Cora and called, “If you change your mind, the Dark Prince plans to open the Gate on Olorel. We’ll be gathered in the Flint Hills at dusk. ”
This time, the alpha said nothing. She stood there, exactly where Astrid had once stood, her eyes dark with regret. Regret, but not uncertainty. When I saw that, I knew there was nothing I could say to change her mind.
With Collith at my side, I turned and walked into the dark forest.
The memory had just begun to fade when Collith sifted and reappeared in front of me. I reacted immediately, backing away to defend myself against his fists, but this time, my heart wasn’t in it. My mind went back further, thinking of the other meetings we’d had.
First, we’d visited the kitsunes. They didn’t trust me, not just because of who I was but because of what had happened to Katashi and Yaeko.
After that, we went to the witches. While Wichonne Babdock had received me warmly, and she’d agreed to send word out to her people, the Mother of Witches hadn’t made any promises.
I’d tried to find the Queen of the Shapeshifters next. But Nan, of course, was nowhere to be found.
The only one who had actually committed to fighting was Dracula. He’d also volunteered the use of some C-4 he could get his hands on, which I accepted. It wouldn’t do much against the armies of Hell, especially with the spell barrier, but it was something.