15
“Get up.” Rafe’s voice breaks through my half-ass sleep as he drops something on my chest.
“Get out of my room,” I huff and roll over.
Sleeping in isn’t a habit I have, but after last night, I needed a few extra hours.
I drove across the city telling myself that I was doing it for myself, to clear my head.
To get space from her intoxicating gravity.
It was easier when she hated me, when she slammed the doors in my face.
It gave me a line not to cross, a decision to respect.
Now she’s in my house, in my garage. Back in our lives, and it’s like she never left.
Only now she knows. She’s aware of the people we are and…
I thought she’d run. I thought that secrets would remind her why she closed that door, but I can smell her shampoo in the air and I can hear the shower running at the top of the stairs.
She stayed.
You told her that it was all for her, and she’s still here.
“Riggs,” Rafe barks and slaps my shoulder with something.
“What?” I sit up in bed with a rough huff and let the sheets pool around my waist with my hand out. Rafe hands me a frame, one from the wall downstairs.
“She always knew what we were up to, half the time before we even got in trouble for it.” He taps the picture of us and Koa’s mother. Akamu.
I grab the frame, staring at us. We were so young. Koa’s bright smile pressed against Cress’s cheek as she beams up at me and Akamu cradles all three of us in her arms. She’s always been here, Koa’s number one confidant. Why didn’t I think of that?
The second Koa’s name was brought into this I should have called his mother.
“Call her,” I say to Rafe.
“I tried. Phone’s out of service. We have to go down there, Murphy’s in the car.” He backs out of the room and I don’t argue, I just get up and collect some clean clothes completely on autopilot taking the stairs two at a time and turn the knob for the bathroom.
Cress practically jumps out of her skin, a tiny grey towel wrapped around her body, her dark curls soaked and heavy around her face. I swear under my breath and turn my eyes to the ceiling.
“Sorry,” I grumble and she doesn’t say a word, she just steps out of my way.
I turn my head down as she goes, breathing her in and catching sight of a small scar that runs over her shoulder blade.
I don’t even realize my fingers reach out, craving the touch, wanting to run them through the droplets of water that pepper her perfect skin, but she snaps her head toward me with a glare that could kill.
I retract them carefully, flexing them at my side and when she’s done silently scolding me I watch her walk away without saying another word.
My heart stutters in my chest thinking about all the scars we all carry because of Koa, emotional and physical.
I shower until I can’t see the look on her face anymore and join my brothers in the garage. Murphy is shoving things into the trunk.
“It’s a three hour drive,” Rafe complains and takes something out.
“And I’m not going without all of this, just in case,” Murphy argues and reorganizes the space to include the things Rafe keeps removing.
“Stop,” I tell them both. “Let him bring his shit, get in the car.” I grab my jacket off the chair and throw it in the backseat.
“Can I drive?” Rafe asks, knowing the answer. I glare at him and he shrugs at me as I move around the mustang. “Whatever.” He fights Murphy for a second longer before they start a round of rock paper scissors.
“Get in the car,” I groan and Murphy pops the seat up so Rafe can climb into the back. The drive to Sierra Vista isn’t bad, Murphy makes us stop twice because he’s got the bladder of a toddler, but Rafe doesn’t play any music that makes me want to run us off the road so I consider it a win.
Mostly because between the two of them arguing it left very little time to think about the look on Cress’s face last night after I told her about Koa.
In hindsight, the secret was going to come out eventually, but it wasn't exactly in the most gentle of ways. Part of me hopes that she didn’t believe me. Part of me hopes she does.
You.
It’s a tiny word, accidentally said. It slipped past my better judgment into her open hands and she stared at me like I’d ripped her heart out. It’s the truth. Every day I regret letting her turn to Koa, but we were kids. I was stupid.
I am stupid.
“Hey, watch the road, slick,” Rafe clips, slapping his hand against the leather backing of the driver’s seat. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” I say, focusing on the highway ahead of us.
“It’s Cress, isn’t it?” he notes. “She’s got everything all shaken up.”
“She’s family,” Murphy scoffs at him, little strands of his dark hair flicking around in the wind that pushes into the car.
“She shut us out. Don’t forget that,.” Rafe warns him and I tense in response.
“Koa died, man. And Riggs…” Murphy dies out. “She was angry. Like, really angry. She didn’t wanna be around any of us.”
“And now she needs help. She’s back, showering in our bathroom, eating our food and giving orders?” Rafe flops against the back seat. “It feels sketchy, like revenge.”
“It’s grief. She was grieving.” I grumble against my better judgement, knowing never to get between these two when they start in on shit.
“We all were.” Rafe grumbles under his breath.
“It’s what Birdie said, Koa would disown us all for leaving her in the cold. Doesn’t matter how much she hates us, she’s desperate. And they’re threatening us now,” Murphy argues. “It’s not just about her anymore.”
“But it is—” Rafe’s voice is tight. “Isn’t it, Riggs?”
I look at him through the rear view mirror and clench my jaw.
“You’ve always bent over backwards for her,” he accuses and I have it in my right mind to throw the car to the curb and beat the audacity from his body. “She says jump, and you’re already in the air.”
A rough growl of warning rips from me and he shrugs.
“She showed up and the next day Birdie was racing for money and we were getting our asses kicked in an alley, you can’t argue the facts,” Rafe pushes and I turn to Murphy for help but he avoids eye contact.
I slam on the brakes and the Boss swerves slightly on the slick tarmac until I’m parked in the middle of the back road highway with nothing but desert for miles.
Both of them holler complaints as Murphy’s laptop slides forward into the dash and Rafe hurtles into the back of the seat with a rough thud.
“Both of you listen to me right fucking now,” I snap. “We have hauled our ass out of bed for worse reasons, more than once.”
“Can you at least pull over, you’re going to get us killed,” Murphy groans and I throw the car into park just to prove my point. He surveys the road nervously waiting for a car to come over the hill. “Riggs.”
“Cress is family and it wouldn’t matter if she showed up with blood on her hands, we owe it to her to figure this out. She’s the only innocent person in this family and you both better start remembering that before I kick you out of this fucking car.”
Both brothers go still, jaws tight, eyes furious from being yelled at but neither say another word. “She’d do it for you, open her door, take care of you.”
They stay silent. They know I’m right.
“Check yourselves.”
“Alright,” Murphy says and my eyes flicker to Rafe who still looks ticked off but he nods in agreement so I can straighten out the car. I pull it back into the proper lane just as an oil tanker comes over the hill and Murphy stares at me wide eyed.
“Next time keep your mouth shut,” I say without looking away from the road.
Akamu’s street is quiet, lined with cars parked in front of old brick houses and decorated with whatever they can find to create a colorful backdrop against the sandy palette of the Arizona desert.
It’s hot here and it seeps through the mustang on a mission to make us all sweat even with the air going.
“Tinā-Mu better have that air conditioning pumping,” Rafe groans as I slide into a parking lot.
“You’re staying here,” I say to him.
“Hell, no. You aren’t leaving us in this car to sweat to death, and she loves Murphy. If this is going to work, we all need to go in. She’ll feed us, we can get her talking, and before long she’ll spill something,” Rafe argues and I look over at Murphy who has a smug grin on his face.
“You just want cookies.” I shake my head.
“No one makes cookies like her. I didn’t come because I like sitting cuck in your car,” Rafe grumbles.
“Fine, but don’t be stupid, and don’t bring up Cress.”
Both of them agree to the terms and we all get out, taking the pristine path up to the bright green front door.
I can hear the soft music playing that she always had blasting around the house and I know she’s home.
It’s odd her phone is shut off, but at least we know she’s here and okay.
The entire drive I was slightly worried what we’d be walking up to.
It’s been a while since we visited and Akamu isn’t exactly known for her common sense when it comes to the outside world.
Koa did everything for her and by extension we did everything Koa needed us to do.
She became a through-branch in the tree that Koa attempted to burn to the ground on his way out the door.
I swallow tightly before knocking on the door, Murphy fidgets beside me and Rafe leans against the frame with his arms crossed as he stares at the welcome mat we’re standing on.
When she opens the door her scowl turns to a soft smile and all the worries evaporate. She’s exactly the same, a little older, a little slower and much more gray but she still smiles like she’s offering you a warm hug and doesn’t hesitate to show her excitement for our visit.
“The Monroe Monsters,” she scoffs and reaches out to squeeze her hand around Rafe’s forearm. “You’ve been working out, ragdoll,” she teases him and Rafe breaks immediately. A bright smile forms on his face and he looks like a little kid again. “There’s my boy.”
“Missed you, Tinā-Mu,” he mumbles, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. She lets him pass and moves on to Murphy.
“Mop,” she coos, “the new glasses suit your face.” She flicks his chin with her finger before bringing him in for a tight hug that Murphy folds into willingly. “There’s cookies in the jar beside the fridge, go quick before your brother eats them all.” She pats his face and lets him by.
Her eyes darken as she turns to me.
“Mama,” I nod in respect.
“Riggs.” She looks me over with a scowl on her old face.
“Have you been eating? You look skinny, and what’s this?
” She tugs on the long curls around my ears.
“Once a hooligan, always a hooligan.” Her voice lowers and the corner of her lip curls into a smirk.
“You wait nearly two years to visit, you must need something.”
“Rafe thinks he can trick you into telling us secrets about Koa,” I tell her without hesitation.
“That boy,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “What’s wrong? Why do you need secrets? Every secret he kept led him to no good.”
“We’re in trouble.”
“Well, stop looking for trouble.”
Akamu had known the day it happened that it wasn’t me driving. One look at me and she could tell. She also knew her son more than anyone, to his core. She knew his strengths, and his flaws.
“It came knocking this time,” I tell her.
“I’ll make dinner.” She ignores me and drags me into the house, closing the door behind me.
“I’m not hungry, Mama.” I huff.
“You’re starving. Don’t talk back to me,” she grumbles and keeps on through the house toward the kitchen where sounds of arguments bounce in whispers off the walls.
She knocks Rafe upside the head gently with a towel because he’s holding the cookie jar hostage as Murphy tries to get some.
“Enough,” she barks and they both still. “One each before dinner.”
“One?” They both argue. She gives them a look and takes the jar, Rafe shoves Murphy, slipping his hand in first before he disappears to the table. When she’s alone with Murphy she carefully reaches inside and hands him two chocolate cookies with a wink.
He kisses her cheek and excuses himself to the table to eat both in Rafe’s face. “When they come here, they act like they’re six years old again.”
“Let them,” she warns as she starts to pull out ingredients, handing me an onion and a cutting board.
Eventually, I fall in line beside her, doing as I’m told even if it’s my least favorite job.
I rub the back of my hand against my eyes to clear the rogue tears from my cheeks. “Always a baby,” she teases.
“You’re the only person I know that can cut six onions and not cry,” I scoff and she laughs.
“It’s because you dilly-dally.” She scolds without seriousness. “Just like you are now. What aren’t you telling me?”
“Cress is home,” Rafe blurts.
“I thought I told you to—” I start, but Akamu looks like she’s seen a ghost. “She’s in trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?” She sets down her spoon and gives us all a concerning look.
“The kind Koa got into and we don’t know how bad it is, but they’re willing to hurt her…” Murphy explains.
“Hurt us,” I add.
“Show me,” she says tightly. Murphy gets up and wanders over with his phone, catching her up to speed.
He leaves out some of the details. Akamu doesn’t need to know that her Birdie Baby killed a man, it would stop her dead right here in the kitchen if she did.
“So you think that Koa was working for these men? The ones who attacked Cress?”
I nod and she inhales slowly.
“Trouble follows him even in death.” She shakes her head. “What was this man's name again?”
“Malosi,” Murphy pipes up.
“Strength.” Akamu mumbles, “power. Interesting,” she hums.
“What?” Rafe leans over the table.
“The name, it’s quite the choice.”
“You think it was on purpose?” I ask her, trying to follow her thought.
“I know your brother was obsessed with the idea.” She stares at me. She’s always called us brothers, born to stars, threaded together to live in existence forever. Only Koa had cut those strings because he thought I was holding him back. “He had a tattoo…” She reminds us, “on the back of his neck.”
“I knew I recognized that word,” I huff, the connection had been completely lost on me.
“He did?” Murphy scowls.
“He had it covered with a stone angel after his grandfather died,” Akamu says.
“Do you think it’s connected or coincidence?” I ask.
“The universe doesn’t believe in coincidences, Toa.” Warrior. “I would search harder for the man, I’m sorry I’m not much help. After I moved, Koa spoke to me less, in the months before the accident he was secretive, quiet. Not himself.”
“You’ve done plenty, Tinā-Mu,” Rafe assures her and he’s right. She’s given us the first substantial lead we’ve had in days. Unfortunately I’m starting to think that Koa is more involved than any of us suspected.