Chapter 41
CHAPTER
FORTY-ONE
Violet
I t’s humiliating. Even through the bone-numbing pain, it’s humiliating.
But Penrith greets me when I land, just hugging me tight.
“It’s okay, sweet girl. It’s okay.”
“No,” I whisper, “it’s not.”
But she just takes me into her country estate where the helicopter landed, and in her cozy small drawing room, one designed for intimate conversations, for coddling and calming and comforting, she seats me and pours me a healthy drink.
Mercifully, it’s not bourbon. I don’t think I ever want to see or taste bourbon again.
“Gin with tonic,” she says. “Not very creative, but I have port which isn’t strong enough, and some of Stephan’s favorite, which I’m assuming you don’t want.”
“I shouldn’t be here.”
She sets her mouth in a thin line. “I’m this close to breaking a five-year silence with my sister to tell her about our nephew. But Sophine is hardline on many things, and I don’t want you or your family to get hurt by shrapnel from their beef. If that woman would learn to just soften…”
I take a gulp of the perfumed drink, not sure where to go. If I go home, then everyone will know about it, everyone . I know Mom and the family are at the townhouse right now, waiting for our return, to show solidarity or whatever you call it for a sham mating to a coward who drugs you behind your back because…
A sob breaks free. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t be here.” I finish the drink and stand. “Clea said you’d fly me back, so thank you, Ms.…uh?—”
“Ashford. Neither my sister nor I mated. Not officially. Which is why seeing her as a draconian head of the Council annoys me so much. It doesn’t matter.” She smiles. “You were saying?”
“Thank you for helping me. But I need to go. I just…” I look at her helplessly. “I can’t go home…not to the family townhouse or Stephan’s beach house. And I can’t stay here.”
“You can. You can do whatever you want.”
“It’ll bring scandal down. The Season isn’t done. I just…I can’t bear being at his place. It smells like him. And…and I can’t.”
“Like here?” she says, gently. “You can still smell him here? ”
“Stephan smells like oak, and it’s soaked into this place. It was his family home, right?”
She looks at me and shakes her head. “Amazing. And yes, it is the family home. His scent will become part of the background, eventually.”
I don’t know how true that is. Stephan’s scent is powerful to me. I can pick it up here, at his home in Emporia, at the beach house he owns. Part of it is the bond we share from mating. But part of it is just…him. Me and him.
It used to bring me peace, happiness, a special place to be.
But now it’s a constant reminder of all my shortcomings, of the wreck of my heart. Of his past. Of his betrayal.
“I don’t think it will,” I whisper.
“Maybe not,” she says. “And the Gardener family townhouse?”
“If I go there then whoever Queen Bee is will find out. She’ll bring scandal down on us because…because of me. I will have failed everyone.”
She touches my cheek. “Violet, no, you won’t. Stephan, now that’s a different story. I should have known that boy—” She breathes out. “He told you about Cecilia?”
I nod. I spill the things he told me, and I shrug. “He just doesn’t want children with me. I don’t even want to start a family immediately, but…there’s a difference between a man stating he can’t have them and a man not wanting them.”
“It’s his story, but I can tell you Cecilia wasn’t from society. That shouldn’t matter, of course, but…well, to certain people it did. And Stephan is so pigheaded, so determined to take care of matters himself that when Sophine and his father refused the mating of him and Cecilia, they took off. She was a Beta, pregnant, and there were…complications.”
She keeps her hand on my cheek, and it’s comforting. “He told me. But…”
“But he lied, he manipulated. Granted he thinks it justified, coming from what he believes is a good place, but you’re right to be upset, to feel betrayed. You’re right to do whatever it is you need. You’re not at fault. Any scandal is his to bear, not yours.”
“I don’t…”
There’s a knock at the door.
“That’ll be your sister and brother. Just know Stephan really does care. And he’s absolutely and perhaps irrationally terrified of the same thing happening again. To you.”
But it doesn’t matter. I can’t.
Right now, I can’t. I’m in such overload, I’m in danger of shutting down.
“I’ll be here if you need me. A call or text away.”
There’s a commotion, and Heath bursts in, wild-eyed, furious as he takes me in. “What did that fucker do?”
“Language,” Penrith says. “And don’t upset your sister any more than she already is.”
Heath straightens. “Where is he?”
“In Emporia, I assume,” Penrith says as Iris rushes to my side and pulls me into a hug. My limbs are heavy, and I slump into her so close to crying it’s a wonder I haven’t burst like a dam .
“Iris, take her,” Heath barks. “I’m going to see if I can get a ride to Emporia?—”
“Take care of your sister,” Penrith says. “We’ll talk tomorrow, Heath.”
He sets his jaw, and I know I should calm him, but I don’t have it in me. I nod goodbye to Penrith, who must have called them before I arrived, who knew where I’d be happiest. I want to thank her, but I can’t find the words.
Everything is numb. Heat crawls up my neck, and my vision darkens.
We get to the car. Heath is driving. I catch sight of him in the rearview mirror, frowning, expression savage. I hear Iris from what seems a vast distance telling him now isn’t the time.
Then…everything goes black.
I wake up to my sister’s face close to mine, sunlight streaming into our country home. I almost scream.
“What happened?”
“Oh good,” Iris says, “you’re alive. You passed out in the car. Now don’t worry. Only Heath and I know you’re back. The socials and Stitch are talking about Felicity and Asher reconciling as friends and how she liked his mate…you, but that’s it. Both he and you have disappeared. General rumor online is that you’re both having a second honey?—”
I bury my head in my hands, and she touches me lightly .
“I’m sorry, Vi. I just thought you’d want to know there isn’t any scandal.”
“Yet,” I say. “Yet.” I lift my head. “He told me he couldn’t have kids. He can, but he doesn’t want them with me. And…” I swallow. “And…oh, Iris. Am I wrong?”
The whole story tumbles out of me, and she listens to the entire thing in silence.
When I’m done, she stalks to my bedroom window and stares out. “I don’t think we should tell Heath. He might kill him. I mean, I want to kill Stephan myself, but Heath actually might.”
I jump up, my clothes rumpled and I don’t care. I don’t even care I slept in them. But I need to shower, to change, to burn these things since I can still smell Stephan and I want to be done with him. Entirely. “Where is Heath?”
“He drove back to the townhome to see Mom and the others, to pretend it’s all fine. This is a mess.”
“I know.” My voice is strangled. “And it’s my fault.”
“How is that, exactly?” She’s as savage as Heath. “You are innocent. He took your rights from you. I don’t care if that man thinks he’s doing the right thing…”
Iris trails off, then she turns and smiles.
“Go shower, and I’ll make breakfast.”
I do just that, mainly because I need it rather than I trust her motives. Oh, they’re not against me, but I think she’s up to something. And when I dress and step into the hall, the lack of cooking smells alerts me. As does the absolute silence in here.
I peek out the window and almost collapse.
There, out in the front gardens, in the big patch of grass, is a sleek black helicopter. And Iris is screaming at someone.
I grip the sill.
At Stephan. She’s screaming at Stephan.
For a moment, I think of hiding, but anger overtakes me, and I fly out, taking the stairs two at a time. I burst out the front door.
“Violet,” he cries, moving Iris out of the way. He strides toward me. “Please listen.”
“Go away!” I say, turning and going back into the house.
But voices follow. Stephan, Iris, and someone else.
Things thump, and I get to the library, ducking inside.
Stephan appears, as does Iris, and he has a huge bunch of wildflowers. Like my bouquet.
The thought makes a sob climb up my throat.
“I told you to get out. You’re not welcome here,” Iris says. “Don’t make me call Heath.”
“And he’ll do what? Fight me? It’s been done,” he snarls.
My traitorous heart lurches and leaps, and the scent of him starts trying to seduce me. But I harden my defenses.
“Touch my brother, and I’ll kill you,” I tell him.
Iris adds, “And I’ll help. Give me those.”
She snatches the flowers.
“Five minutes,” he asks quietly. “Please.”
“And then you’ll go?” Iris stares at him as he stares at me.
“Yes.”
“Vi?” She glances at me for approval .
I think it over. I want to say no. The word forms in my mouth, but when my lips move, “Yes” comes out.
“Five minutes,” Iris warns. “Clock running. Door open.”
The moment Iris is gone, Stephan closes in on me, and I’m melting, I hate myself for it, but I melt. “Step back.”
“You don’t want that.”
I close my eyes, harden everything I can. Then I open them and look right up at him. “I do.”
For a moment I don’t think he’s going to, but he does, and then he sags against a bookshelf.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I got you flowers. I’ve brought gifts. Tell me what you want me to do to make up for this. I’ll do it. I’ll?—”
“I want you to turn the clock back and undo what you did. Can you do that?”
“You know I can’t. Look, Princess?—”
“Violet.”
“Violet.” He sucks in a breath. “I don’t— can’t lose you. You want a big family, so yes, I took matters into my own hands so you’d be okay. I should have talked?—”
“You should have,” I say. “I didn’t want kids right away.”
“An Omega? Conditioned to be the perfect mate? What else should I think?”
“Nothing. You should have spoken to me, asked.” Fury moves like a gale through the shattered landscape of me. “If I wasn’t even worth the conversation to you, then I don’t want you.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do.” I say this quietly, but it’s the truth.
Gifts? Flowers? That’s not him admitting wrongdoing. It’s not love and it’s not an apology. It’s excuses and laziness.
He’s not sorry for what he did. He’s sorry he got caught, sorry I don’t see his reasons for doing it as valid.
Stephan doesn’t see me as anything other than a poor substitute for the dead.
And that hurts.
“You don’t need the full five minutes. Take your gifts, your flowers, and go. It’s over.”
And with that, I turn and leave the room. I want him to come after me, I do.
But he doesn’t.
This relationship, this mate bond, has been exposed as nothing more than lies. So I just keep walking.