Chapter 31
Kayla
The women’s common room, tucked back in a little corner behind the kitchen, is possibly one of the nicest areas in the Inferno clubhouse.
Everything else in this place has a worn, utilitarian quality to it, from the scuffed floors to the battered furniture.
But this room is different. Overstuffed couches in soft slate blue.
Bookshelves lined with scuffed paperbacks.
A little corner with a low table and wooden toys, clearly built for children who visit.
Not that I’ve seen all that many children around the clubhouse.
Maddie told me Dragon gave her the space to do whatever she wanted with it.
I’d watched her face when she said it, the way a flush crept up her freckled cheeks before she turned away, like she’d said more than she meant too.
I filed the observation away without comment.
It’s not my business. But I notice things, and what I notice is that Maddie occupies a strange position in the Inferno that doesn’t quite fit any of the categories I’ve come to understand.
She’s not an old lady in the official sense, she’s not claimed by anyone.
She’s not a club bunny. She’s just Maddie.
She keeps everyone fed and the clubhouse clean and running smoothly.
She says she’s just an employee except she has a room that’s much larger and nicer than any other room that I’ve seen and Dragon gave her this area to make into her haven and there are raised beds in the plot behind the clubhouse where Maddie grows flowers and vegetables.
The brothers treat her with the same respect that they’d show any other old lady and the old ladies themselves are polite, friendly even but not overly warm.
And she and Dragon manage to both completely ignore each other and orbit around the other when they are both occupying the same space in public.
In the four days I’ve been here, she’s become one of my favorite people.
I think she’s lonely. It’s not something she says, and I doubt she would say it even if pressed.
Maddie strikes me as the kind of woman who has learned to make herself useful and keep her real feelings tucked so far out of sight that she might have forgotten they’re there.
She lights up every time I wander in to help her in the kitchen.
She shows up at the door of my room in the evenings with tea and a look that says she’s hoping I’ll invite her in to talk. I always do.
Right now, I’m sitting on one of the couches with a book open in my lap, which I’ve been staring at without reading for the better part of an hour.
I can’t get through a single page without my mind sliding sideways to my own house, my own life, the small and ordinary things I’ve been missing in a way that surprises me with its intensity.
My garden. The thought catches me in the chest every time.
I had just gotten the back beds into shape, with a whole new design I’d been working since last year, planting salvias and catmint and a sprawling patch of bee balm that I’d been coaxing into a second bloom.
I think about it the way some people think about a person.
Cassie said she’d stop by and water it for me and I’d nearly cried with gratitude.
The idea of coming home to find it parched and struggling makes my stomach turn.
I miss my job. I miss sitting at my drafting table with coffee and sketching out a new design, the particular satisfaction of translating a client’s vague dream into something real and growing.
I miss my routines; going to the pottery studio on Tuesdays, sitting in the garden after work with a glass of wine, coming home to Mochi and Charlie rubbing themselves against my ankles. I miss my own bed.
I miss my life.
I’m grateful for the club’s protection, truly I am. The memory of that masked man in my house, the knowledge that he was paid to kill me still sends shivers down my spine. But this limbo, this constant waiting for the next shoe to drop, is its own kind of torture.
Pushing myself up from the couch, I head for the door.
Maybe finding Todd will distract me from everything.
He’s adapted to our strange circumstances with surprising grace.
After the initial shock and fear wore off, he seemed almost…
fascinated by everything. Now he follows the bikers around like an eager puppy, asking endless questions
And to my continued surprise, the guys actually tolerate him. Mostly. His sincere interest and obvious harmlessness seem to amuse them rather than annoy them. Even Dragon has stopped glaring every time Todd opens his mouth, which I consider a significant improvement.
I make my way through the labyrinthine hallways of the clubhouse, nodding to club members as I pass. Most of them smile and nod back.
The main common room is crowded with men playing pool, drinking beer, lounging on the couches and watching sports. But my eyes immediately find Todd sitting at a table in the corner, and my steps falter when I see who he’s with.
Demon.
Todd is seated across a small table from Demon.
Between them is a spread of cards, and Demon is leaning back in his chair with the look of a man who has never once lost at anything and isn’t expecting today to be different.
Todd has his cards held very close to his chest, and Demon is watching him with an amused expression.
Nearby, Demon’s ever-present shadow, Finn or Wrath or whatever his name is, sits perched on the arm of a chair, whittling something with a small knife.
Finn always surprises me. Despite his sullen exterior and the memory of how terrifying he was during my kidnapping, I sense there’s a damaged kid underneath all that anger and bravado.
I’ve caught glimpses of it in the way he watches everyone, in the way he flinches when someone raises their voice too quickly.
“There you are,” Todd says when he spots me, waving me over with the hand not holding cards. “Demon’s been teaching me poker. Well, not real poker. Some variant. He keeps changing the rules.”
“I haven’t changed a single rule,” Demon says without looking away from his own hand. “You’re just losing.”
Todd’s grin is unshaken. He’s developed a truly remarkable imperviousness to being mocked in the last four days.
I drift toward the table, leaning my hip against the edge, watching them play for a minute. Finally, Demon says, “The Toad here is a quick learner, but he has the worst poker face I’ve ever seen.”
“My name is Todd,” Todd corrects him, still smiling.
“Whatever you say, Toad,” Demon replies.
Todd doesn’t even seem bothered by the nickname. Instead, he just laughs and takes the cards Demon deals him.
“You do realize,” I finally say, looking directly at Todd, “that Demon was the one who kidnapped me, right? He’s the reason we’re in this mess in the first place.”
Todd’s brows furrow slightly as he looks between Demon and me. “Well, yes, but—“
“Life’s too short to hold grudges, plant lady,” Demon interrupts, his golden-green eyes gleaming with amusement. “Besides, I’m pretty sure Naomi is the reason you’re in your current mess.”
“Plant lady,” Todd repeats, and then snorts with laughter. “That’s actually funny, you know, because you work with plants all day and you love to garden and…”
His laughter dies abruptly when he sees the expression on my face.
“Hilarious,” I say flatly.
Todd at least has the decency to look a little embarrassed.
“Sorry, I just—he doesn’t seem all that bad?
And you don’t seem very angry with him either, so I figured…
” He trails off, then brightens. “He‘s really a fascinating guy, Kayla. He has so many interesting stories about places he’s been, things he’s seen. ”
“I’m full of interesting stories,” Demon agrees, winking at me.
I roll my eyes, refusing to take the bait. “You’re full of something, all right.”
Demon just laughs, clearly enjoying my discomfort.
This is exactly why I’ve been avoiding him since arriving at the clubhouse.
It’s not that I’m afraid of him anymore, though perhaps I should be.
It’s that I don‘t know how to feel about him. On the one hand, he kidnapped me, terrorized me, turned my entire life upside down. On the other hand, that kidnapping saved me from Naomi, who apparently would have killed me if she’d gotten the chance.
How do you reconcile those two things? How do you look at the man who both ruined your life and saved it?
“Have fun,” I tell them, turning to leave before either of them can see the confusion on my face. “Try not to lose all your money, Todd. Demon cheats.”
“Only when necessary, plant lady,” Demon calls after me. I can hear the smirk in his voice without having to turn around.
I wander back down the hallway, with no destination in mind.
Part of me wants to find Roman, to see if he’s heard anything new about the situation with Naomi.
But the self-preserving part of me knows that seeking him out is dangerous.
Every time we’re together, the invisible thread that connects us pulls tighter, making it harder to remember all the reasons we can’t go back to what we were.
I’m so lost in thought that I don’t notice Finn until he’s right beside me, appearing like a ghost in the dim hallway.
“Jesus!” I gasp, one hand flying to my chest. “Make some noise when you walk, would you?”
Finn doesn‘t apologize, but he does take a small step back, giving me space. He holds something in his hand, and I realize it’s the object he was whittling earlier.
Now that I can see it properly, I realize it’s a small wooden carving.
He thrusts it toward me, his face set in its usual scowl, but there’s something almost vulnerable in his eyes.
“Here,” he says gruffly.