Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
V eronica
My jaw was on the floor as I watched Spencer Banks declaring his undying love for Laura live on national television. She hadn’t wanted to forgive him, but there they were now. Soon, Laura vanished from the screen with Spencer, and a reporter started speaking, looking extremely excited. It was official: Spencer Banks, the Prime Minister of this country, had lost his mind for his nanny.
I sat down and pulled out my phone, hoping I could still get through to her, but then a photo memory popped up on the screen, and I felt like someone had just ripped my heart out and smashed it with a hammer. I stared at the picture of me and Rupert from our summer when we’d posed on the deck of The Dreamer .
It had been about a month since I’d made a decision to let him go, since I’d confessed to him that I’d only used him for his money. That was one of the hardest things that I’d ever had to do, but it was for the best. Rupert deserved to be with someone more worthy of him, another woman who wouldn’t put his reputation at risk, someone who didn’t have any self-esteem issues. My social media had been exploding lately. A lot of my videos had gone viral since I’d started working with Katharina.
She was delighted with this collaboration, saying sales of her products had increased significantly, and I was looking forward to more of my ideas to be implemented. I was proud of myself, while also feeling miserable. I’d been trying hard to lift my vibration, to feel good about myself and my self-worth, but I’d been missing Rupert so much. Laura knew what had happened. She didn’t get why I’d let Rupert go, and I was too self-conscious to let her dig deep.
We were both depressed—at least Laura had been until a while ago—before that shocking speech by the PM. Until then, we’d been both in love with men we couldn’t have. Until he confessed his love, she hadn’t been prepared to forgive Spencer for he had acted like a total wanker, and I supported her one hundred percent. He’d accused her of working with his ex, leaking a photo to the press, and then he’d fired her. When she’d come home a few weeks back in tears and explained what happened, I was ready to drive to Downing Street myself and smash his face, but instead, I’d held her while she sobbed.
Rupert was a self-made billionaire , and I had only just started climbing my career ladder, so we were from two different worlds. I let him believe I’d used him even if I was dying inside. We couldn't be together. I was afraid that something might happen to him even after Vincent was locked up, so I carried on with these lies. I had reiterated to the bastard that Rupert left me because he heard me betray him, so he wouldn’t think I orchestrated this. This would make total sense.
Laura had tried to talk me out of doing this, begging me to let her tell him the truth, but my voice of reason told me that I had done the right thing. I’d finally convinced myself, I was never going to be good enough for a man like Rupert.I had too much baggage.
I texted Laura: Bitch. You’d better call me once you’re done shagging him. This must have been the most romantic moment in British television that anyone ever witnessed. Squeee.
Spencer Banks had handcuffed Laura to him, then announced to the whole world that he was in love with his nanny and wasn’t planning to resign. This had all happened so fast—my roommate was the luckiest woman in this world to have a man who was willing to risk the position of Prime Minister so he could win her back. This shit was so romantic, and I was all over it.
Around two weeks ago, I went back to the club because Matthews owed me a final payment and did not deposit it into my account. I’d suspected that he wanted to give me a proper farewell. I hadn't been there since I ended things with Rupert and I still had some personal items left in the locker that I needed to retrieve. All the girls I still kept in contact with told me that Rupert never went there anymore. I guessed that place reminded him of me.
Later, when I was leaving the club, I accidentally bumped into someone on the street.
“Sorry, I—” I began, then lifted my eyes to see who it was. My heart had stopped, and heat enveloped me.It was Rupert, and he looked so shocked to see me there.
I had to force myself not to give him a hug. My heart beat frantically. His eyes darkened. I’d made that happen. I’d caused him pain. Back at the warehouse, I hoped that he would hate me so he would never want to see me again.
“What are you doing here, Veronica?” he’d asked, his tone cold and detached. He looked so good, still had a great tan.
I died again, feeling as if someone had turned the knife in my chest, knowing that I could never ever touch him again.
“I had to get some things I left in the locker and I needed to see Matthews,” I’d explained, unable to look him in the eyes. That was not at all what I’d wanted to say, but I was a coward.
He just stared at me but said nothing. So many silent words passed between us, but none of us spoke. Life was so unfair.
I love you so much. Please give me another chance. I was a fool thinking that if I could live without you that I could protect you, but I can’t go on like this. I can’t live another day without you.
My soul screamed at me to say these words, but I couldn't. I had done the right thing pushing him away, claiming that this whole thing between us was a lie, even if it killed me and ripped my heart out.
In my mind, he responded with: "I love you too, but I can't trust you anymore Veronica.”
“Well then, have a good day,” he’d said before walking away from me.
Moments later, Chris pulled up and Rupert jumped to the car, never glancing back.
And then he was gone.
I thought I’d made the right choice.
But why did it feel so wrong?
Four weeks later
“Do you think this one or that one?” Laura asked, putting a long, fitted black dress against her body, then a shorter red.
She looked awesome in both, but I pointed to the black.
“We both know you can rock both, but you need to wear the black for dinner tonight,” I told her, drinking wine on Friday evening while she was having a mocktail. Laura had made a reservation at this fancy hotel for dinner last week and I was really looking forward to catching up with her. Apparently, the PM had been driving her crazy with his over-the-top protectiveness in the past month or so. For this reason, she needed a night off from him. Besides, it had been so long since we’d hung out, just the two of us anywhere, so her idea couldn't have come at a better moment.
“All right then, so let’s go. I’m starved and I’m so over Spencer’s paranoia with healthy eating while I’m pregnant. I swear to God, I’m going to strangle him this week if he mentions anything about broccoli again,” she said, picking up her purse.
I snorted in my glass of rosé, then emptied it. I was drinking way too much lately, but alcohol dulled the pain from my shattered heart. I’d lost myself completely, but there was nothing I could do. Rupert had moved on—I’d seen his picture in one of the magazines with another woman, a blonde one. Damn it.
“Come on then, preggo girlfriend,” I told her with a wink.
Around forty minutes later, we were seated in that swanky new restaurant in the newly opened Wellingsworth Boutique Hotel in the city, surrounded by a sea of couples. Her security detail was close by, watching us both and trying to blend into the swanky interior. A few people had shot glances at us because it was official. Laura was now engaged to the fucking Prime Minister of this country and was pregnant with his baby. Obviously people recognised her now, so we had to be on our best behaviour.
“Veronica, look at the menu. They have all the Italian food. I miss Sicily so much,” Laura stated, looking so excited.
She was eating so much lately, and I had no idea where she was even fitting all that in as she was still tiny in her first trimester. I suspected she wasn’t going to show until she was at least seven months along.
“I think you should order a bit of everything,” I suggested, almost inhaling the second margarita as she stared at me.
“Yes, I will, and I think you need to slow down a bit,“ she stated warily. “Are you all right, Veronica? You have been drinking a lot, I saw all the bottles in the rubbish outside. Rupert is miserable, too. Why don’t you talk to him?”
“Here we go again,” I muttered, suddenly losing my appetite. Putting the drink down, I took a long, deep breath. I knew this wasn’t Laura’s fault. I had been torturing myself like that for weeks, knowing I’d made a mistake. “I’m fine, and Rupert has clearly moved on. I saw a picture of him with a woman in one of the gossip magazines.”
“It wasn’t a date, it was a business meeting. Veronica, why do you keep doing this to yourself? You love him and he loves you. Please fix it. Your brand is so strong, your videos have millions of views. The press have moved on. Nothing is going to happen if you date him. There are no more risks.”
Laura sounded convincing enough, and I reached out for my drink but didn’t take it. She was right, I had been numbing myself with alcohol in the past few weeks, thinking that maybe if I drank enough, I could finally forget about him. Then the next day I felt even worse, and I couldn’t cry anymore. Every time I stared at the image of me in the mirror, I hated myself. This really had to stop—something had to give.
“Vincent might be behind bars, but that doesn't mean he won't try anything to get his revenge. Honestly, I don’t think he would. But if I ever got back with Rupert, I could never live with myself if anything happened to him,” I said, knowing that Laura needed to be aware of all the risks.
“I think you're exaggerating slightly. Rupert is not in danger. Besides, James owns a security firm, Veronica. You need to get it together and talk to Rupert tomorrow,” she insisted, grabbing my hand and squeezing it.Well, she had a point about James. Even Sue, Rupert’s mother, had suggested I contact him.
I chewed on my bottom lip, wondering if I was truly exaggerating, but could I risk it? My heart said yes, my brain said no.
“Last time he saw me, he could barely look at me,” I muttered, then the waitress interrupted us.
Laura told her what she wanted, and then we were finally left alone. I’d ordered a new dish for myself, too.
“That was a month ago, and I knew he’d been thinking about you. Spencer went to visit him last week, and he said he’d never seen him so miserable. Apparently, he hasn’t been going to the office either,” she explained, looking worried.
The music was playing, and we continued to talk about this whole situation. I kept reminding myself that I was doing what was best. That a union with the man I met in Greece was not to be.
Soon, the food arrived, and Laura looked so happy. I had to admit, it was a great choice coming here.
I cheered up a little by the end of the evening, but I slowed down with the drinks. The food tasted divine and I truly enjoyed talking to Laura about everything that happened in the past few months.
Then she went to pay the bill and when she came back, she looked clearly angry.
"What's wrong?" I asked her.
"Spencer told one of his agents that it's time for me to go home," she explained, sitting back down.
I started laughing. This was too funny. That man was unbelievable.
"What? Why? We aren't doing anything wrong and it's not even nine o'clock yet," I said.
"Precisely. Anyway, come with me. We are heading out. I have an idea."
"Where are we going?" I asked, feeling a bit apprehensive about this whole thing.
“We are sneaking out through the back door before he decides to show up here,” she said, gesturing for me to move. I laughed, thinking she sounded crazy.
“What are you talking about? We had dinner while Spencer is at Downing Street,” I told her.
“Trust me, he wouldn't hesitate to show up here to escort me home,” she said and then added, “He’s probably already here watching me.”
I glanced around, wondering if she was being too paranoid, but I knew Spencer. That guy was obsessed.
“Oh shit, we’re not doing anything wrong. We are having fun, plus your own security is close by,” I said, trying to talk her out of whatever crazy idea she’d made up in her head.
“Spencer is unhinged. He’s done more crazy things before. Besides, since he found out that I’m pregnant, he’s been driving me up the wall. Come on, let’s sneak through the back doors,” Laura said.
I smirked. She was right—Spencer Banks was kind of crazy.