Chapter 10 #2
“You need to elaborate on that,” she said. “I don’t have experience with sex, but I haven’t heard of it turning males homicidal, exactly.”
His jaw hardened. “It’s my problem, not every male’s.”
“Oh, no.” She turned his face back to hers when he tried to look away. “Explain, Niir.”
He let out a sigh to end all sighs and frowned. “Fine, but it won’t change anything.”
“Fine. I want to hear it anyway,” she replied. “Nothing you can tell me now can be worse than the conversation we just had.”
“Very well. I will be direct, again. This is not a topic I wish to linger on.” A muscle ticked in his jaw.
“Virilians have a primitive form that was—is—an advantage while fighting or defending our people. Our bodies change. We gain great strength and become horrifically deadly. For many males, this form never emerges. For most, it’s usually a once in a lifetime occurrence brought on by a threat to their mate.
” He paused. His hands, still clasping both of hers, tightened.
“But for me, the primal form is always there, just below the surface. Emotional and physical…stimulation awaken it. I fear sex with you would bring it forth and overtake me.” His gaze found hers and there, for the first time, she saw the anguish he kept hidden.
Cali wondered what her expression looked like. She knew her jaw was hanging open. “Why is it like this for you but not others?”
“I used to be a mercenary,” he said. “Fighting was all I knew—all my ancestors knew. I spent many, many cycles in primal form. It was how my employers preferred to see me, and it got results. Sometimes, I just had to show up for the enemy to surrender and I didn’t have to kill—” He cut himself off, flattening his lips.
She knew he was a mercenary, but she hadn’t given thought to what that life had done to him. “Have you ever killed anyone while having sex with them?”
He looked up in surprise. “Stars, no. Never.”
“Then what makes you think you would do it now?”
She saw the baring of his teeth, the glint of those long, white eyeteeth. “Because I am exceptionally attracted to you,” he said in a gravelly voice. “The intensity…it reminds me of the way it feels before I change. I felt it the first time I laid eyes on you. I feel it now.”
She could feel it. Heat moved under her skin like a fever. Maybe strong sexual desires were part of the way she was made. Maybe it was just Niir who brought them out. No other male she’d met had made her feel this way. “So you’re certain your primal form would take over and…kill me?”
He shook his head. “I cannot take the chance. If any harm came to you, it would destroy me.”
Well that was a huge admission. She blinked at him, rocked by his words. It was then that she knew with a certainty she felt straight to her toes—he wouldn’t harm her. She just needed him to believe it. “Okay,” she said. “What do you look like when you change to your primal form?”
His brows knitted. “I become very red, very big, and very ugly.” A smile flickered over his face. “My eyes glow and my skin becomes covered in thick red veins. And there are horns.”
“Horns?” This was getting interesting.
“I’m afraid so.” He closed his eyes and let out a big breath. “Painting quite a picture, aren’t I?”
She slid her hands from his and placed one on his chest. He didn’t stop her. “Yes, you are. Does all this happen immediately? Like flipping a switch?”
“No, not like that. It’s a little more gradual.”
She swirled her fingertips over his pectoral muscles, exploring the chiseled contours of him, enjoying the sharp breath he sucked in. “So, it’s safe to say it would be obvious if it were happening? Like, your eyes would change. Your skin would change?”
He nodded slowly. “Yes. Where are you going with this?”
She slid her hand down his ridged abdomen, causing him to pull in a sharp breath. “Calinae,” he said in a warning growl.
“Niir, you’re not going to turn primal on me.” She ran a finger along his waistband. “And if, for some reason you do, there will be plenty of warning signs.”
“Warning signs mean it’s happening and if it does, I don’t know if—ah.” She slid her fingers over his hard bulge. He looked like he was in pain. “This is a terrible idea.”
She put a finger over his lips. “You want me, Niir. I want you. We’re in this sensual, beautiful place and I bet there’s a spectacular bed in that room over there. Let’s use it and see what happens. You start to look scary, we stop. Nobody dies.”
He laughed. It was a warm, rich sound that Calinae decided she wanted to hear a lot more of.
“I hate this idea, but I can deny you no longer.” This time, when his arms went around her, it was to pull her flush against him.
His hands moved possessively over her flesh.
There was no hesitation. He touched her as though she already belonged to him.
A low growl sounded in his throat as he lowered his mouth to her neck and ran his tongue from her collarbone to her ear. “You will be the death of me, Calinae.”