Chapter Six Xavier
Once breakfast ended, the Anax summoned everyone back to the basement again. I found Ren in the crowd and walked beside him. “I heard what happened. The Connecticut wolf who showed up when he wasn’t supposed to be here.”
“The Anax kicked him out.” He paused. “So did his Alpha. He probably isn’t going to be part of that pack anymore.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?” I glanced at him.
I wanted to take his hand, but with so many people walking near us, some of whom were giving Ren suspicious looks, I thought touching him would be unwise.
It sucked that people had prejudices, and I longed for a day when those people were in the minority, but meanwhile, it was important to protect ourselves.
“I’m not sure.” He moved a little closer to me as a trio of guys pushed past us. “You said when someone gets kicked out of a pack, they might not be allowed to have contact with the pack. But they can talk to other werewolves, can’t they?”
“Yeah. If they aren’t set packless.” I wasn’t sure if he knew what that meant.
I didn’t remember explaining it to him. “If a werewolf is set packless as punishment, it means no other pack can take them in, and other werewolves aren’t supposed to have contact with them. Which doesn’t always stop them.”
I saw where he was going with his question.
“If they aren’t set packless, another pack might permit them to join. Which means they might connect with people who share their…opinions, let’s say.”
“And cause more damage.” He made a frustrated sound.
“There’s no way to stop them. People who hate? People who…”
Pausing, he gestured at himself. “There’s no way to keep them from doing this. At least if they’re with an Alpha who doesn’t accept this kind of thing, someone’s keeping them in check, but if they end up with an Alpha who thinks it’s okay?”
“It’s a lot.” And there was nothing we could do about it. A guard, working for the Anax, and someone whose place was yet to be determined. Two werewolves out of thousands in the United States. We couldn’t fix everything.
Apparently the Anax had been thinking about that.
During the meeting, he announced that he was establishing a mentor network for newer arkhons and alphas, and that as part of the online system that would host that network, he and Kyle were also creating an online support system for LGBTQ+ werewolves.
Kyle had named it the Virtual Haven Pack, though when he introduced the concept he explained clearly that it wouldn’t be a pack in the traditional sense.
People who joined Virtual Haven would have privacy, known only to other members of the group, and they would remain members of the packs to which they belonged.
After answering a couple of questions, the Anax said, “I will be in my office, which is immediately to the left of the front door of the house. I will not be alone. My mate, Kyle Slidell, is likely to be with me. One or more of the arkhons might be.
And of course my guards Mandeep and Xavier will be there.”
He paused. “If you need to speak to me in full privacy, I’m afraid that won’t be possible, but I will ask all except Mandeep to leave. The office is soundproofed.”
No one spoke. I scanned the back of the room for Ren, who was sitting tensely on the edge of his chair. Agitated by the moon or by the discussion, I wasn’t sure which. I wanted to go to him and make sure he was okay, but my orders were clear. I had to stay with the Anax.
Once everyone else, including Ren, had filed out of the auditorium, the Anax motioned Mandeep and me closer.
“I’m going to get something else to eat on the way. You’re both welcome to do the same. And Mandeep, please bring Ren, Jamie Pasquale, Max Endicott, and Russ Kent to the office. I want to talk to them about helping to moderate Virtual Haven.”
“Yes, Anax.” Mandeep hurried up the aisle to the door.
I bit my tongue. The Anax had no business asking Ren to be in charge of anything.
Ren had barely wrapped his head around being a werewolf.
But expressing opposition to the Anax’s plan had to wait until we were in his office, where no one other than Kyle would overhear.
It wouldn’t look good for the Anax if one of his guards argued with him.
Once we were closed in the office, waiting for Mandeep to bring Ren and the others, I spoke up. “Anax, with respect, may I say something?”
“Yes, speak freely.” The Anax leaned against his desk.
I clasped my hands in front of me and contemplated how to phrase my concern. “Ren is very new to being a werewolf. He hasn’t found his footing yet. He shouldn’t have responsibility for others yet. It might be too much for him.”
“Xavier.” The Anax frowned. “With equal respect to you, that’s a choice for Ren to make. If he doesn’t feel that he can fill the role of moderator for this group Kyle’s putting together, I certainly won’t force him.
I want to make the opportunity available to him and hear what he thinks about his own ability to handle it.”
It was pretty much what I’d anticipated he would say, but having expected it didn’t make it any less frustrating.
He didn’t understand what he was asking of Ren.
Of any of us. This Virtual Haven supposedly would be confidential, but that didn’t rule out people learning who was involved and lashing out at us.
I didn’t care what people thought or said about me, but if I had any power at all, I wouldn’t let Ren face any more hatred than he already had.
There was nothing else I could say, though. The Anax had made his decision. He was a good man who listened to those under his rule, but even he had his limits. Arguing wouldn’t do any good. “Yes, Anax.”
“Your opinion is valued too.” He sounded sincere. “Is he your mate, Xavier? Or simply someone to whom you feel attracted? Either way, your wish to protect him is understood and supported.”
“I believe he is my mate, Anax.” Admitting it felt odd.
I’d said it to Ren, but saying it to the Anax carried a different weight.
Nearly a declaration. Hopefully, since I didn’t have Ren’s agreement, it wouldn’t serve as one.
I lowered my voice. “Something about him calls to me. Makes me feel like a missing part of myself has come back to me. Is that what the mate bond feels like?”
“For some of us, yes.” He hesitated. “Does he know? Have you talked to him about it?”
I nodded. “He felt it too, so I explained. But that’s as far as it goes for now. Like I said, he is very new to this life. He has a lot to recover from. I want to be his friend. If we develop into more…Well, I hope we will, but if we don’t, I’ll accept that.”
“That’s an incredibly loving and respectful way to handle it,” he said. I turned, eyes wide. He accepted what I was saying. This discussion definitely wasn’t going the way I’d feared. He smiled. “Xavier, Ren will be living with us. You know that.”
“Yes, Anax, and I’ll give him whatever amount of time and space he needs.”
I sighed and raised my chin slightly. “I’ve heard others talk about the mate bond. Never completely believed the whole ‘you know instantly’ thing until I saw Ren and felt that connection, that missing piece sliding into place. I didn’t know if I would ever find my mate. Some don’t.
And I sure never thought it would be a man.”
“You’re free not to answer this,” he said slowly. “Or to tell me it’s none of my damn business. How do you identify? I’m asking partly because of the requirements to be part of the virtual pack.”
“I never really took the time to think about that before.” I looked at Kyle, who was silently sitting in one of the chairs in front of the desk. “How did you know who you are?”
“I’ve always known,” Kyle said. “Never had crushes on girls. Only other boys. For me, it was pretty obvious.”
“I was never completely sure, but I grew up in a different time,” the Anax said. “I was attracted to guys, but I thought some girls were cute, too. I call myself gay, but some might say I’m bi.”
“I’ve said it,” Kyle muttered.
The Anax glared at him, and Kyle chuckled. I couldn’t help smiling at the interplay between them. They bickered sometimes, but their love for each other was tangible.
“Point being,” the Anax said, “that no one can tell you who you are except yourself, Xavier. If you haven’t thought it through yet, that’s valid too.”
Uncomfortable with the focus on me, I shrugged. “I’m interested in Ren. Do I need to label that? Ren is Ren, he’s my mate, and I don’t want anyone else.”
“You don’t need to label anything.”
Thank gods, I didn’t have to try. The door opened, and Mandeep led Ren and the others in. Ren walked over to stand beside me, and instantly my exasperation ebbed. I reached out to him but didn’t let myself touch him.
Once everyone was settled, the Anax spoke.
“You were all in the meeting when Kyle and I talked about Virtual Haven. We need people we can trust to vet those who want to join and to keep an eye on the chats and interactions. We haven’t sorted out all the details yet,
but we’d like to know if the five of you would be willing to act as admins or moderators.”
“I’m in,” Jamie said immediately.
“Same,” Russ said. He looked at his partner. “Max?”
Max looked thoughtful, then shook his head. “I appreciate being considered, Anax, but I don’t think I’m suited for something like that.”
“I’ll do it,” Ren said.
I turned to stare at him. He couldn’t take such a huge responsibility when he was still trying to put his own life as a werewolf together. But before I could argue, the Anax said, “Thank you, Ren, Jamie, and Russ. Xavier, you haven’t spoken. Are you willing to take this role?”
I started to refuse. Then it occurred to me that if I accepted, I would be able to help Ren. Protect him. For all I knew, that was why the Anax had offered.
“Yes, Anax, I’m willing,” I said.
He looked pleased. “Thank you, all of you. Max, if you change your mind, just let me know, but I appreciate your honesty in refusing. Kyle and I will give you more information about what we’ll need from you as we firm up our plans. For now, Xavier,
I need you to stay while I meet with those who need to meet with me. The rest of you are dismissed.”