Chapter Six Xavier #3
“Th—thank you.” He stared at our hands. “What else happens on full moon nights, Xavier? I know you didn’t tell me everything.”
Shit. Of course he knew. How could he not when we were so obviously connected?
How could I tell him that for a lot of werewolves, full moon night ended with sex?
I wouldn’t lie to him. Even if he got the wrong idea, that was better than lying.
“It doesn’t happen with everyone, but a lot of people like to have sex on full moon nights. With their mates if they have them, or they just find someone to be with. It isn’t exactly a wolf thing, and obviously it isn’t required.
It’s just that people give in to urges when the wolf side is still close to being in control.”
“Oh.” He pulled his hand out of mine, and my hand felt far emptier than it should have. “So asking you to stay with me until morning?”
“Means I’ll stay with you until morning,” I said quickly. “Nothing has to happen, Ren. Look, sex isn’t a big deal for me. I mean, it isn’t something I think much about. I need a strong connection to someone before I’m attracted to them that way.”
“We’re mates. Don’t we have a strong connection?” He shook his head. “After that kiss the other day, I’m pretty sure we do.”
“Absolutely.” I was botching this completely, and I didn’t know how to get out of it. But my mouth ran ahead of my brain. “I’m attracted to you, Ren. I am. Yes, we do have a strong connection, and that kiss…I hope we’re going to repeat it. Tonight if you want. I won’t say no.”
“Shit.” With a sigh, he took my hand again. “I’m not trying to talk you into fucking me. I’m not. I just…”
“I get it.” I wasn’t sure I did, but I couldn’t stand seeing him so uncomfortable. “Ren, what happens, happens. Let’s not plan, okay? We’ll hunt together, and I’ll stay with you until morning. On your bedroom floor if that’s easier.”
He snorted. “I don’t think we have to go that far. But yeah. Let’s get through the hunt, and then we’ll see.”
“We’ll see,” I said, agreeing with him.
“Yeah.” He turned around again. “It feels like I’ve known you forever. Talking to you in the evenings, or just sitting with you, I feel like every night has been a decade. That sounds ridiculous.”
“No. I feel it too.” I did, and it was probably why my wolf so badly wanted to claim him.
Even though I didn’t like having sex with anyone unless a strong emotional connection existed first, and even then it was rare for me to feel sexual attraction, spending time with Ren had accelerated the bond between us.
And the need to claim one’s mate was more overpowering than most werewolves could ignore.
I wasn’t ignoring it. Just putting it on hold until Ren felt secure in his place here.
But even that was painful. My mate was right here with me.
Our bond existed even though we’d done nothing to strengthen or formalize it.
Unless the kiss counted, which it should have.
I didn’t remember ever having such an intense kiss, but with Ren’s lips on mine, his body against mine, I’d felt like we were a single being. Part of each other. Joined completely.
If a kiss had been that mind-blowing, I could only imagine what sex would be like if and when we reached that point.
By six o’clock that evening, everyone, even the usually mellow Seth, was on edge.
The moon would rise shortly, and some of the people present were already mentally in wolf form even though their bodies hadn’t shifted yet.
Most of them were nude, which didn’t bother me, but I caught Ren blushing and quickly looking away from several of them.
We kept our clothes on. We could undress when it was time to shift.
I stayed by Ren, both shielding him from everyone else and watching him for any sign that he was struggling.
He might not recognize a problem until it was too late; on his first hunt night, he had no way to know what was typical.
I might not pick up on any issues either, but I at least had more experience with hunt nights.
Finally, the Anax announced that it was time to go outside.
A few hundred wolves made their way through all of the available exits, and I was pretty sure I saw a few go through a window just to get out of the house faster.
Ren clutched my hand as we joined the throng, and I made sure to keep him close to my side.
His fear was palpable, fueling my own concerns.
I was the Anax’s guard, but for tonight, as far as I was concerned, my first responsibility was to my mate.
However, as one of the guards, I had the job of monitoring the crowd along with the other guards. Our regular duty times were irrelevant on hunt nights. All seven of us were on duty to ensure the safety of everyone present. The Anax and Kyle in particular, of course, but all of the others as well.
“I’ll be one of the last to shift,” I told Ren as we made our way to a spot on the perimeter of the back lawn. “I have to keep an eye on everyone. It’s part of the job.”
Nodding, he gulped. “I don’t know where to go.”
“Stay with us.” Jamie walked over to us with Garrett Saucier and Felicia Norwood, two of the City Pack wolves. “You can be part of our group, Ren. Xavier, you too, once you’re able to shift.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“Wait.” Ren shuddered and motioned to the side. “Xavier, private, please?”
“We’ll be right back,” I said to the others, and followed Ren away from them.
He dropped his voice to a whisper. “They’ll see. I didn’t…I couldn’t talk about it before, but that’s why I’m losing it right now. Xavier, everyone’s going to see me shift. Before and after. Like the pack.”
“Like the…Oh. Shit.” His wolf was male. Somehow, my brain hadn’t connected that with what might happen when he shifted in front of others on hunt night. No wonder he was so on edge. Hopefully no one would react, no one would harm him for being who he was, but I couldn’t make any guarantees.
Except for one. “The Boston wolves. I know them. If we explain before you shift, they aren’t going to have an issue. Even if we don’t explain, they might be surprised, but that’s all. They’re good people. Good wolves. They won’t hurt you.”
“And everyone else?” His voice rose, and he gestured around the yard. “Six hundred-plus werewolves, Xavier, including at least two from the pack that started all this.”
That gave me another idea. Enzo Pereira not only hadn’t been involved in Ren’s assault, but he’d punished those who had been.
He knew Ren’s wolf form was male; he’d seen Ren’s first shift back to human form.
For that matter, so had Arian. Ren didn’t want to see them, didn’t want anything to do with them, but they might be allies in protecting him from anyone who might harm him.
“Ren, listen.” I crouched so I was on eye level with him.
“I promise you, I will not leave your side during the hunt. You’ll have to shift before I do, but I will stay right next to you, and Jamie, Garrett, and Felicia will be there too. We won’t let anyone near you. I’d like to let the Anax know about this,
and he could let others know you’re afraid so they can either steer clear of you or help keep an eye out for any problems. Would that be all right?”
He opened and closed his mouth a few times. No sound came out. He was heading around the corner from fear to full-blown panic.
Without touching him, I held out my hand and lowered myself to my knees. “Ren. Breathe. I’m here. I promise, no one will hurt you tonight. I won’t let them. The Anax won’t let them.”
I started to ask again if I could tell the Anax about Ren’s concerns but stopped myself.
Panic screwed with a lot of things, including, for some people at least, the ability to speak.
Ren appeared to be one of those people, and if I asked him a question he couldn’t answer, it might make the panic worse.
So I waited, even though I felt the Boston wolves behind us getting antsy, even though so many others were filing out onto the lawn.
Finally, he nodded. “Tell him. Please.”
Before I could say anything, the Anax’s voice in my mind startled me. I quickly turned my attention to what he was saying. Xavier, once you shift, stay near Ren. Watch for issues, but Ren will need you the most tonight, and you have my permission and instruction to stay with him.
Anax, thank you. Ren is afraid of people’s reactions after he shifts. His wolf—
He cut me off. His wolf is male. I didn’t even think. Who are you hunting with?
Jamie Pasquale, Garrett Saucier, Felicia Norwood.
They’ll help protect him. He paused. Stay close to him, and ask them to do the same.
Make sure he shifts away from others. With this many wolves running around, and most of them not knowing each other, hopefully no one will even notice him.
If there are issues, reach out to me. If I’m not nearby, I’ll get someone to help.
Thank you, Anax, I said again.
You’re welcome. Tell Ren he is safe here. I’ll make sure of it.
Relieved, I bent to speak close to Ren’s ear.
“The Anax just told me to stick with you tonight. I still have to be one of the last to shift, but as soon as I’m in wolf form, I’ll be with you. And he said he’s going to make sure you’re safe. We’ll shift where others can’t see us, and everyone else is going to be occupied with their own hunting.
They might not even pay attention to you.”
He nodded and ran his tongue over his lips. “Okay.” His voice was crackly, and his shaking grew worse.
“Is it okay to hunt with the others?” I glanced over my shoulder. The three Boston wolves still stood where we’d left them, not looking toward us but clearly waiting for an answer. “The Anax says they’ll help keep you safe too.”
He nodded again. “Yeah.”
“Okay. Let’s join them, then.”
I stood and helped him to his feet. He was trembling so much he stumbled as he took the first step toward the others. I didn’t want to carry him in front of them. That would have attracted more attention. But I put my arm around him and held him close to me, which seemed to steady him a little.
“Thank you for inviting us to hunt with you,” I said, keeping my voice low, when we reached the others. “We would be pleased to join your group. Ren’s a little worried about shifting.”