Chapter Thirteen Ren
The light was too fucking bright. The ache in my closed eyelids mirrored the too-sharp pain on the back of my head.
There was something else on the back of my head, too, but I couldn’t figure out what.
And something felt weird between my legs, but that barely registered. The pain was the worst thing.
I blinked, hoping the pain would stop. It didn’t.
“Ren?”
A quiet voice. A voice I knew, pulling me out of the pain. I opened my eyes completely and looked up into deep brown eyes under a furrowed brow.
My mate. My Xavier.
“Can you hear me?” He lowered himself so his face was level with mine. “It’s me. Xavier.”
“I know.” My voice was croaky, crackly, and my throat was drier than the frigging Sahara. “Thirsty.”
“Yeah. There’s water.” He moved, and I didn’t quite manage to tell him not to leave before he was gone. But he was back within seconds holding a bottle of water with a bendy straw sticking out of the top. “Here. Just a sip. I know you’re thirsty, but don’t drink too fast.”
I obeyed. The water tasted amazing, and I tried to drink more, but Xavier pulled the straw away. “I know,” he said again. “The doctor needs to look at you first.”
“Doctor?” I sounded a little less crackly this time, but I couldn’t manage the rest of the words for my question. Why did the doctor need to look at me? I was healed, wasn’t I? Days had gone by since the assault, unless I’d dreamed the entire gathering and coming to Winthrop with Xavier.
Fleeing Winthrop. Running away after I confessed to Xavier what I’d done on the streets.
Gregory Malkin.
I screamed. Well, I croaked, but the intention was the same.
“It’s okay.” Instantly Xavier was on the bed, sitting beside me, stroking my forehead with gentle fingertips. “You’re safe, Ren. He can’t hurt you.” His expression turned stony. “He can’t hurt anyone ever again. The Anax ensured it.”
Figuring out what that meant didn’t take a genius.
The Anax had killed Gregory Malkin. Like he should have done in the first goddamn place.
Too little, too late. Tears ran down my face, and I screamed—croaked—again.
Xavier just kept lightly stroking my forehead, murmuring words I couldn’t make out through the rage and panic rushing through my brain.
Finally, he took my hand. “You’re safe,” he said again. “I’m so sorry I didn’t keep you safe that night.”
“I’m sorry.” He hadn’t done anything. I was the one who’d taken off like the proverbial bat out of hell. Running, like I’d done the day I met him.
“No.” He gave me a tiny smile. “Don’t apologize. You told me something incredibly tough, and I should have taken better care of you afterward. Nothing you said changes how I feel, Ren, just so you know. You’re still my mate. I—” He hesitated.
“I care about you. A lot. I need to go let Doctor Gumendo know you’re awake. I’ll be right back.”
“Don’t.” I still couldn’t quite get words together. “Stay. Please.”
“He needs to see you.” Regret filled his expression. “I promise, I’m not leaving. Look, I’ll just…Actually, I have my phone. I’ll stay right here.”
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pressed the screen. “Seth. Ren’s awake. Would you please send Doctor Gumendo up?”
“He’ll be right there,” Seth replied.
Xavier tossed the phone toward the bureau. It missed and landed on the floor, and he shrugged. “Good thing those phones are sturdy. Ren, I’m right here, okay? The doctor might need me to step out while he checks you over, but if he does, I’ll be right outside the door.”
I didn’t want him outside the door. I didn’t want him away from me at all. If he’d forgiven me for the way I’d taken off on him, I needed him to stay beside me. I needed to see him there.
“There’s nothing to forgive you for,” he said softly. “Yes, I do hear your thoughts. You did nothing wrong, Ren. You were upset and scared that night, and I didn’t help.”
“That night.” It was the second time he’d phrased it that way. “Last night?”
Looking grave, he shook his head. “Night before last. It’s Sunday now. You’ve been unconscious. G—You were badly injured. Your head.”
“He…” That explained the pain, and the other thing I felt on my head was probably a bandage. Badly injured. At the hands of Gregory Malkin. Remembering my head against brick, the glee in Gregory’s expression, the squelching, I wailed. “Oh, gods!”
“We found you.” Xavier’s voice shook slightly. “We found you and brought you home. Doctor Gumendo’s been taking care of you. I’ve been here.” He bowed his head. “I wish I’d been with you then.”
The door opened, and Dr. Gumendo entered. “Ren. I’m happy to see you awake.”
“Hi.” I tried to sit up, but the bolt of pain through my head told me it wasn’t going to happen.
“Stay put.” He motioned to Xavier, who got up to stand at the foot of the bed. “How does your head feel?”
“Sore.” I reached up to touch it.
He caught my hand but quickly let go when I glared at him. “Best to leave it alone. I’m going to remove the bandage. I’ll put on another if needed. Meanwhile, tell me your name and where you are.”
The instructions didn’t make sense. He knew my name and where we were. As he gently helped me sit up and lean forward so he could start removing the bandage, though, I caught on. I had a head injury. He wanted to make sure my brain was still functional.
“Ren Torres,” I said. Self-named and so named, the Anax’s voice echoed in my mind, and even though I knew that was just a memory, it helped solidify things. “I’m in Winthrop, Massachusetts, at the home of Tobias Rogan, Anax of the United States. In my room.”
“Good.” Dr. Gumendo turned away, holding a wad of gauze.
“I’ll have to check further, but that you can recall your name and location is a good sign. The wound is healed sufficiently, as well. No more bandage necessary. If you think you can stand, I’ll remove the catheter so you can use the bathroom.”
“Catheter?” That was the weirdness between my legs. “Gross.”
The doctor chuckled. “Yes, I see where you might think that. Do you feel able to stand? Or at least to sit if someone brings you to the toilet?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t know if I’d be able to or not, but I damn sure didn’t want a fucking tube between my legs.
Dr. Gumendo looked a little skeptical, but he nodded. “Xavier, bring me a basin from the bathroom, please.”
“Sure.” Frowning, Xavier went to the door. “Ren, I’ll be right back.”
I just nodded.
A few minutes later, the catheter was gone, along with the gauze. Dr. Gumendo left the room briefly, I assumed to dispose of those things. I didn’t want to ask.
I did need to take a piss, though. When the doctor came back, I said, “You said if I can get up, I can use the bathroom?”
“Steady.” Dr. Gumendo motioned to Xavier. “Help him, if you don’t mind.”
“Yeah, of course.” Xavier crouched so I could put my arm over his shoulders, then lifted me from the bed.
He didn’t let me walk to the bathroom. Being carried by him again felt nice. Soothing. Weird, especially when he lowered me onto the toilet and turned his back so I could do what I needed to do, but still nice.
When I was finished, Xavier carried me back to bed and carefully settled me on the pillows. Dr. Gumendo looked amused. “I suppose I hadn’t considered that you might not need to walk. Do you still feel all right, Ren?”
“Better.” I patted my belly. “I don’t feel like I’m floating anymore.”
Both of them laughed, and I managed a smile I didn’t really feel.
“He’s going to be okay?” Xavier asked after he stopped laughing.
“I believe so.” Dr. Gumendo smiled. “Ren, you may experience pain in your head for a time. If it worsens, I need to know. I wish I could give you medication, but your system would process it too quickly for it to have any benefit.”
“It’s not too bad.” That was a lie, and I hoped neither of them realized it. “I mean, I’ve had worse.”
“I’m not concerned with what you’ve had, but with what you have now.” The doctor folded his arms.
I sighed. He was just doing his job. Taking care of me, like a doctor was supposed to take care of his patients. “It hurts. Like, a five? On the pain scale thing.”
“That’s higher than I would like.” He motioned for me to lean forward again and studied the back of my head. “The surface wound is gone, but there may be damage below the surface. We’ll monitor it for the day. If it’s still at five or higher by supper, other treatment might be necessary.”
“Okay,” I said. It would be lower than five by supper. Even if I had to lie.
“I’ll be downstairs.” Dr. Gumendo looked toward Xavier. “I’ll inform the Anax that Ren is able to talk. He might have questions.”
“That’s up to Ren,” Xavier said.
“Of course.” The doctor flashed another smile at me and left.
Xavier stuck his hands in his pockets. “You’re awake.”
“Pretty sure we sorted that out already.” I held out my hand. “Please sit down. I need to…” My voice caught, and tears filled my eyes again. “You’re not…I’m sorry.”
“I need you to stop saying that.” He came back to his seat on the edge of the bed and took my hand.
“I’m not upset. Not at you. Upset at myself for not going after you, absolutely. Furious as hell with the asshole who hurt you, but he’s gone, so being angry with him does nothing. You, though? I’m just thankful you’re okay. The doctor wasn’t sure you would be.”
The tears ran down my cheeks, and I brushed them away with my free hand. “He wasn’t?”
“What do you remember?” He shook his head. “No. Don’t answer. I don’t want to upset you more than you already are.”
I answered anyway. “I ran. I don’t know where I was going. The hunt house, maybe? I ended up in Revere, I think. And he was there. He grabbed me.”
I started shaking, and my voice grew thick.
“He said it was my fault. He got kicked out of his pack, and it was my fault. He…”
I touched my head. I couldn’t say the rest.
“He told the Anax that he was ejected.” Xavier’s expression hardened. “Just before the Anax ended him.”
Relief and fear flooded me, and I wasn’t sure which one I felt more strongly. “I’m glad he’s dead. Is that bad?”
“Gods, no.” He squeezed my hand. “I am too. The Anax was furious that you were hurt.”