Chapter 34
We let the moment simmer and settle, remaining in silence for a while after Tiernan reveals his memories of Maura and of his torture.
When he’s ready, we stand among the bushes near the river and he says, “Try to replicate what you did to Ava.” He walks backward several paces from me and stands there almost as if in surrender.
My stomach quivers—I don’t want to repeat what I did to Ava.
Not with anyone, but especially not with Tiernan. “It’s alright,” Tiernan says.
I nod and take a deep breath, getting into a stance with my feet shoulder width apart and my hands at the ready.
I extend my arms toward Tiernan, and shadows snake up his body.
They hold him in place as I try to force myself into his memories.
His mental shield is as solid as a fortified wall, and as much as I push, I can’t seem to get through it.
I grunt in frustration. “I can’t do it.”
“Yes, you can,” he says.
Stepping back, I release the darkness and shake my hands out.
I inhale slowly and hold my breath before exhaling as Tiernan waits with the utmost patience.
Finally, I lift my hands, sending ribbons of dark vapor toward Tiernan, envisioning myself breaking through a wall.
The tiniest crack appears in the fortification of his mind.
Yes!
Quickly, I grab whatever I can—an opposing soldier slicing him through a weak spot in his armor. War? I don’t dwell on the specifics. I tug on the memory, forcing the pain on him. As soon as he winces, however, my hold on him fails.
I run toward him. “Tiernan! I’m so sorry!”
He grimaces, a hand on his upper arm. “Durvla, don’t be. That was great.” He shakes out his arms. “Do you have it in you to try again?”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It’s not permanent. I’ll be fine.” He steps away from me, preparing for an attack.
I sigh and step back as well. This time as soon as my shadows have a hold on him, rather than search his mind for a memory, I draw from my own.
The last vertigo episode I had months ago in Moicriach.
It isn’t hard for me to remember the piercing headache, the nausea, the dizziness—I gather it all and shove it through the barrier of Tiernan’s mind.
He drops to his knees, the heels of his hands pressed to his temples. I release my hold. Weakness courses through me. I stagger back, pressing my hands against the trunk of a tree and forcing my uneven breaths to stabilize.
Tiernan sits back on his ankles. His face is a little green, and he swallows hard as he wraps an arm around his stomach.
It takes him a moment before he pushes to stand, and even then, he sways on his feet.
He blinks a few times before approaching me.
“Bloody hells, woman.” His shaky hands rest on my shoulders.
“You. Are. Brilliant.” Then concern flickers in his eyes, coexisting with pride. “Are you alright?”
“I don’t like doing that. I hate inflicting pain.”
“That’s what differentiates you from other Basduunai.” He smiles. “You only need to use this when absolutely necessary. And now you know that you can—”
A firm tug comes from within me. A longing to be elsewhere.
Light brown hair and a beautiful face twisted by pain floods my mind.
As usual, she’s standing in the middle of a forest, staring at an enormous tree.
There’s an ethereal mist around her and a winding river through the trees.
I see it as if I’m hovering in the air, staring down at the land.
The vision disappears and I sway on my feet as I recall the map that we’ve stared at so often.
It feels like the air has been knocked out of me. Winnie. Oh my gods … “Oh my gods!” I shout.
“Durvla, what is it?” Tiernan’s eyes are wide with concern.
My hand moves to my pocket, the moonstone suddenly heavy against my thigh.
It’s been in my pack for most of the journey, but I wanted to meditate with it after training with Tiernan.
The last time I’d kept this stone near me, I’d also felt this strange tugging, I’d seen the tree, I’d seen Winnie. My mouth falls open. Oh no …
“I have a theory that no one will like,” I gesture.
“What is it?”
“It’s about Siad Nahar. I don’t think we can get in on our own.
Remember how Carys mentioned that it only welcomes certain people?
I think it also calls to them … and I know someone it calls to.
That woman I dreamt of back in the Verge?
Winnie? I think I need to daywalk to her to get answers.
And—” I pull the moonstone from my pocket, still wrapped in the kerchief.
“I have a theory about this … I may be grasping at straws but … Will you stay with me while I try to daywalk to her?”
“Of course!” Tiernan signs.
I sit down, crossing my legs, and he sits in front of me. I remove the stone from the handkerchief and clasp it between my hands. My eyes lift from the stone to Tiernan’s face, and he gestures, “Go on. I’ll be right here.”
I close my eyes and count each inhalation and exhalation until my pulse slows and my surroundings fade. I think of Winnie and, very slowly, her presence filters into my mind.
The feel of her fragmented aura crawls against my skin, but I hold on to the recurrent image of the forest.
She isn’t there, but I call to her. “Winnie?”
Slowly, she materializes, confusion painted on her face.
Her light brown hair is swept up into a messy bun with wavy strands falling over her forehead.
Paint smears her dark skin across her neck and cheek.
She glances down at her hand where she still clutches her paintbrush, her bewilderment tangible.
“Realms, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this. ”
I smile, trying not to appear as nervous as I feel. “Me neither, honestly.” I glance toward the tree. “Have you always had dreams of this tree? Where is it located?”
She tucks her paintbrush behind her ear and slides her hands over the front of her dress. “Since … a year ago. And I’m not sure.”
“Do you ever have the urge to leave your home? To follow some … invisible force?”
She nods, her caramel eyes wide. “How did you—?”
“Have you had that feeling lately?”
She doesn’t respond.
My teeth sink into my lower lip as I try to think of a casual way to ask one last question. “Do you have a special stone? I have a moonstone. It’s not until after it was in my possession that I began sharing your dreams.”
She steps closer again, nodding. “Actually, I do. It’s—” Her hand moves to the pocket of her dress, pressing against it.
“I’ve anchored it to something dear to me, but yes, I do have a stone.
I don’t know anything about it. I don’t even know how I got it.
I just … woke up one day and it was in my hand. ”
I feel my brows pucker. “That’s odd.”
“There is no shortage of odd things happening to me, quite frankly.”
I laugh softly. “I can relate.” I mull over my thoughts for a moment.
“I’ve never accidentally dreamwalked to someone I didn’t know until this stone.
And only when I see you in my mind’s eye do I get images of a tree, of a strange place.
My guess is that it’s a land called Siad Nahar. Have you heard of it?”
Her entire body stiffens as her face goes ashen.
“Winnie?”
I don’t miss the tremor in her hands as she clutches the part of her skirt where I’m guessing she keeps this item dear to her.
The ground beneath me begins to quake. I plant my feet firmly, having nothing to grasp.
Winnie’s fists are clenched as she takes a step back, then another.
Fissures split the soil of the dreamscape, traveling between us and creating a rift that widens.
“Winnie?” I call out as she squeezes her eyes shut. “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you!”
I step away from the rift, but the whole dream is rumbling, debris falling from above. I beg Winnie to calm down, but she doesn’t seem to be listening. Uncertain of how this will end if I keep holding on, I breathe out and release my hold on the dream.
I wake with a gasp, immediately pushing backward on my bottom to escape the threat.
“Durvla! You’re alright!” Tiernan’s voice shouts in my mind, making me wince.
I blink rapidly and adjust to the sights around me. No debris, no fissure, no Winnie.
There are mountains and slender trees all around us. I tune in to the feel of the ground beneath me, of Tiernan’s arm around me, and the crisp mountain air. I turn my face toward the blue sky, the fluffy clouds floating by without a care in the world.
When I feel less shaky, I look at Tiernan again. “She’s a Terraforger.”
Tiernan’s eyes widen.
“I think she’s how we can get into Siad Nahar. It explains why we can’t get to it when, according to the map, we’re right here.” I gesture to the mountains in the general vicinity.
“You’re telling me we need her to literally move a mountain?”
I shrug. “Or perhaps make a path through it?”
Tiernan seems lost in thought, his eyes looking past me. “Well fuck, Ava is going to love this,” he says.
I grimace. “Well, no point in stalling, right?” I wrap the stone and slip it back into my pocket. Together, we head back to the others.
Ava rises from where she was sitting as soon as she spots us and makes her way toward me. Her face is expectant, and I’m already terrified to break the news to her.
I wrap my arms around myself, and before I lose my courage, I spit the words out. “We can’t get into Siad Nahar on our own.”
Ava frowns. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
Everyone looks our way, and I fight the urge to sink into myself, to retreat.
Instead, I stand my ground and pull the kerchief from my pocket, slowly unwrapping it to reveal the stone.
“Your father gave this to me.” Our father.
“And since then, I’ve had these dreams of a woman named Winnie.
At first, I thought it was just my own subconscious, but she’s a real person. A Terraforger.”