Chapter 49
After returning with the Shadow Wielder, I was rewarded with trust. After meeting with the sovereign, I returned to my room to find Neris sitting there, beaming at me as though she’d never been flogged in the square.
I hugged her for as long as she allowed me, then apologized profusely for getting her into this situation until she threatened to slap me.
And now I can wander the castle as I see fit, so long as I show up to training and report to the sovereign whenever summoned.
Large archways and columns with beautiful carvings usher us through the never-ending corridors of the castle.
My heavy boots drown out the click clack of Neris’s shoes as we wander the passages, exploring beyond where I’ve been allowed before.
There are no appearances of aristocracy to keep up, no husband to please, no suffocating family members to get under my skin. Yet I have never felt so burdened.
I cannot get the look of pain in the captive’s eyes out of my mind. Something about his face and even his name reminds me of someone I’ve met before, but I cannot put my finger on it.
I haven’t given up on looking for Father but it’s certainly starting to feel futile.
Neris is prattling my head off as we round a corner and wind up in a more secluded area of the castle.
My heart grows heavier and heavier with the thoughts of Father and the thoughts of the Shadow Wielder I helped capture a week ago.
In the field where we ambushed those travelers, I felt the pulse of my pocket watch.
It prompted me to look across the field to a woman with curls escaping her braid.
I’m certain that she is the Shadow Wielder the sovereign seeks; I’m sure she’s the one I’ve seen walk through shadows in my dreams.
Then again, we all saw the man wield darkness when our troop leader demanded that the Shadow Wielder reveal themselves.
What are the odds there were two Shadow Wielders reluctant to use their powers to smite us right away?
It goes against everything I’ve ever learned about Dark Mages.
What’s worse is that, even though I was halfway across the field, I saw the man’s interactions with the woman.
I saw the way he protected her, the way he took her into his arms and kissed her before ensuring that she was held back.
He surrendered to us, seemingly to protect the rest of his friends. To protect her.
He seems to be a good man. But he also seems to have a less-than-pleasant history with the sovereign.
Their encounter in the throne room leaves a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I wouldn’t put anything past the sovereign; I’ve seen his brand of cruelty enforced in the square.
I’ve heard stories from Father. He’d once told me that as long as a person stays in Commander Rheon’s good graces, they would be fine.
A sharp jab in my rib forces a whoosh of air from me, and I jump, startled. “Realms, Winnie, lost in thought?” Neris asks, stepping in front of me with a worried look in her eyes.
I rub my ribs. “Yes, apologies.”
She huffs an exasperated sigh. “Did you hear a word I said?”
“I—” The thought of lying to her crosses my mind, but I know she’ll just ask me to repeat what she said. I don’t think I could repeat even one word.
Today she’s in a green silk dress with tiny white flowers throughout.
Her blond curls are pulled up into a ponytail with a large bow that droops down the back of her head.
Her cheeks are a healthy, rosy color. Two weeks in the castle have surely done her well, even with her occasional shift in the kitchen.
“I want to get us out of here,” I say in hushed tones. “But … you seem to be doing so well.”
She looks at me as though I have mud splattered all over my face.
“You’re kidding me, right? Winnie, this place is disturbing.
If you can figure out a way for us to get out of here, I wouldn’t be too disappointed.
The luxury is wonderful, but this is not the freedom I want. And I’m sure it’s not what you want.”
My stomach squirms.
“Where are we going anyway?”
“This corridor is rarely guarded, and if you look closely …” I move toward one of the columns bracketing an archway.
Running my fingers along the marble, I feel for cracks.
My fingertips brush against a disruption in the stone and, indeed, there are tiny fractures within it.
The faintest sign of discoloration becomes more obvious.
I hold my open palm up to the column, reaching out with my terraforging. Black specks float onto my fingertips.
“What in the hells is that?” Neris asks.
“Ash.” I let the particles float away and turn my gaze down to the floor.
“I can sense it along this entire corridor … sort of … in the tiles. They’ve done a great job cleaning, but this must be closer to the source of the fire perhaps?
Or maybe just a spot they never expected anyone else to reside in.
Not yet, at least, so …” I start to move again and Neris follows until we happen upon a door that’s very slightly ajar.
My forehead creases as I stare at the door.
“Winnie …”
I push the door open and peek inside. The room looks like it’s been ransacked, papers and books strewn all over the floor, sheets hanging off the bed, and drawers open.
I push it open farther to find a large four-poster bed adorned with wispy white canopies.
A stately oak desk on one side is stacked with books, a diadem sitting atop them.
I gasp, and Neris clamps her hand over my mouth.
“Shh.” She practically shoves me into the bedchamber, and the door quietly clicks shut behind us.
A tense silence fills the room.
“What do you think happened?” Neris asks, gesturing to the surroundings.
“I don’t know, but I think this is—was—the princess’s room.”
Awed, she begins to carefully step over the items strewn on the floor, making her way farther into the immense chamber.
She doesn’t touch anything, but she removes her spectacles from her pocket and sets them on her small nose before crouching to get a look at each of the books. “These are all romances,” she says.
At last, she picks one up and flips through the pages. Her eyes drink in a passage and she giggles. “Let’s see …” I watch her eyes roam over the page, her finger tracing the lines. Then she reads aloud in a theatrical tone, “Lust burned in Eideard’s loins—”
“Realms …”
“—as he feasted his eyes upon Finella’s ample bosom.” She glances up at me with a smirk. “Oh look, Winnie, she’s like you. Or how did you say Lady Mari put it?”
I make a face and groan. “Neris, by the realms, it really is time to grow up. We’re not children anymore.”
The smile is wiped off her face instantly. She doesn’t drop the book, but she snaps it shut and carefully steps her way back through the sea of objects. Her eyes hold no amusement. “I think you need to grow down, Winnie. You’ve forgotten how to have fun.”
Heat floods my head. “Well pardon me. Getting married off to an abusive prick and watching my friend be nearly killed because of it took the fun out of life. As did being arrested and forced into the service of a dodgy organization.”
Neris stops moving, staring down at the book in her hands. To my embarrassment, my tears break loose when she looks at me again. I scrub the tears away and confront the mixture of resistance and sympathy on Neris’s face.
“Life isn’t fair,” she says steadily. “In fact, it fucking stinks. My father abandoned my mother when I was a wee babe, and my mother is forever gone from my life. I don’t want to lose my best friend too.
So …” She grabs my hand and slaps the book into my palm.
I grip it in both hands before it can fall.
“I’d love it if you could do me a huge favor and find my best friend.
My chosen sister.” Her voice catches and it breaks my heart.
The last time I saw Neris truly cry was after her mother died. When her emerald eyes brim and overflow now, she doesn’t bother to wipe them away. She doesn’t hide her emotions but rather embraces them as if they give her strength.
“Listen,” she continues. “I don’t know what the fates, or the stones, or the gods—or whoever—has in store for you.
But it’s up to you what steps you take. There’s no one forcing you to make the wrong decisions.
Every time you had the opportunity to change your life, you made an excuse not to.
You never take matters into your own hands because you’re afraid to stir the pot. And that’s what’s holding you back.”
I can only stare at her. No words come to mind. No thoughts even. I just stand there, in the princess’s room, staring at Neris with tears slowly trickling down my face.
Neris releases a breath and wraps her arms around me, hugging me far too tightly, the book trapped between us.
Yet my shoulders relax for the first time in days, and that overwhelming buzzing under my skin settles.
She continues to hug me, and it does nothing to stop the flow of my tears.
“It’s time you lived, Winnie. I know you’re looking for your father, but …
” She gives a watery smile and shakes her head.
“I know,” I say, my voice thick with choked back tears.
“We’ll figure it out. But in the meantime, I want to know what happened with Finella and Eideard.”
“What …?”
She casts a pointed glance down to the book in my hands, a smirk on her face despite her still-glistening eyes.
“You’re ridiculous,” I say, thrusting the book at her. It opens slightly as she grapples for it, and a piece of folded parchment falls from between the pages and flitters a small distance away.
“What’s that?” Neris asks.
I step over a few hair accessories and makeup brushes, retrieving the paper from the floor. Beautiful penmanship fills the page, the ink smudged here and there, the paper wavy and deformed as though it had been previously wet.
Born of the moon and hewn from the stars,
You are shrouded in starlight, in shadows and dreams,
The darkness within you is yours to command
You will long for solace, but fear holds your hand
Born of the sun and cursed by the fates,
You are gilded in sunlight and forged from the flames,
The darkness within you you’re certain to blame,
You’ll long for life’s pleasures but sorrow’s lain claim
United in shadows, in a blaze of reveries
You will thwart the hand of Chaos
In the depths of memories
United in fire, in light and in dreams
You will foil the wiles of Chaos,
You will spur Death’s victory
The words seem to float in the air in a visible wave of iridescent colors, the melody playing through my mind as clearly as if there were a bard singing into my ear, backed by melodic strings and percussion. With a gasp, I drop the parchment and watch it flutter to the ground.
“Winnie, what is it?”
I stare down at the parchment for a while before squatting to pick it up again.
Neris willingly takes it, curiosity etched into her expression as she pushes her spectacles up her nose and reads the lines.
She takes a while with it, then glances up at me.
“Alright, please enlighten my Ordinary mind.”
“I heard music in my mind. I even saw it.”
Neris swears under her breath. “You know, sometimes I do not envy you, but other times … Music? Is it pleasant?”
“It is.” I smooth my hair back before my hand moves to the pocket of my dress.
“I hate you.” Her voice holds no edge, and she giggles. “Who do you think wrote it? The princess?”
I shrug. “I think you should keep it.”
The skin between Neris’s brows pinches tight. “Why?”
“I’m not sure. It feels important and I don’t want it confiscated or ruined. Keep it close.”
Realms bless her, she doesn’t question me further. She folds up the note and tucks it into the top of her bodice. After looking around for a while, she asks, “What do you think happened in here?”
“Someone was looking for something.”
“No shit.”
I huff a laugh before it’s snuffed out. “Everything about this castle is strange. Something feels off about it. This room, especially. There is something devious at play here, and I’m not sure what it is.”
A grin slowly spreads across her face, her eyes expectant.
“And I’m going to figure it out,” I say. “I may have to play into the Zenith’s mission for a while longer, but I’ll get us out of here somehow.”
Neris cheers. “There’s the Winnie I know!”