Chapter Four Anya
I gape at my father as his words sink in. “Wait. What? I don’t want to get married.”
“You have to get married sometime, my sweet girl. As my daughter, you have a responsibility to marry strategically. If Alexi were still with us, things might have been different, but he’s gone. It’s up to you to carry on our legacy. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it has to be,” my father says.
I stare up at the ceiling to fight back the tears.
Losing Alexi destroyed me, but I never imagined that things could get worse.
I never thought that losing Alexi meant that I would lose my future.
When I lower my head to plead my case, I catch the expression on my father’s face and swallow my words.
He looks as devastated as I feel. My father is not a mean man, and I know this decision is hard for him.
But that doesn’t make the situation easier for me.
My father must see the anguish on my face, because he rises from his chair and kneels before me.
He takes my hands in his and squeezes them.
“I’m sorry, baby girl. I know this isn’t what you want, but I promise I will be selective in my choice.
I will find you a man who will take care of you and give you a good life.
He’ll be honored to have you as his wife, and he will be as proud of you as I am. ”
When he reaches his hand up to cup my face, I have to fight back the tears.
I want to rail at him for betraying me like this, but I can’t.
He hasn’t made this decision to hurt me, even though that’s the result.
Unable to hide my pain, I glance away, and my eyes land on Igor.
He’s standing behind my father, glaring at him with such animosity that I shiver.
“Are you cold, sweet girl?” my father asks, misunderstanding my visceral reaction. “Why don’t you go upstairs and take a long, hot bath. I’ll have Nadia bring you a snack.”
I open my mouth to protest. I want to argue for my freedom. However, I know it is a waste of time. Arguing will only hurt my father. Instead, I nod and rise to my feet. I need time to think and to plan. I have to find a way out of this situation. When I reach the door, he calls to me.
“You will be spectacular as the Lilac Fairy. I’m very proud of you, my child. I wish your mother and brother could be here to see your performance.”
I smile at him. My eyes shift to Igor, who watches me with such intensity that my blood runs cold.
I’ve always known Igor desired me. It wasn’t a simple attraction, but something deeper and sinister.
Turning away from him, I force myself to walk calmly out of the room–even though I want to run.
Instead of running out the front door, I force myself up the stairs and into my room.
Falling face-first onto the bed, I let loose the tears.
How did my life go from joy to despair so quickly?
I thought getting the part of the Lilac Fairy was going to open doors for me, but now I hear those doors slamming shut.
Maybe my father will find a man who will support my dreams, but I know I’m being foolish.
Whoever my father selects will expect me to give up everything and focus on him.
He’ll expect me to produce an heir as soon as possible to solidify his position.
I let the tears stream as the utter hopelessness overwhelms me.
A knock on the door forces me to pull myself together.
Nadia is on the other side, carrying a tray.
Her face crumbles when she looks at the tears cascading down my face.
She has been with my family since before I was born.
She worked as my mother’s personal maid while my mother was alive.
My father kept her on after my mother’s death so she could care for me.
She’s barely five feet tall, but her tiny frame holds boundless energy.
I don’t know how old she is; I’d never be so rude as to ask.
Her black hair shows no gray, and her face is unlined.
She could be thirty or fifty. All I know is I love her as if she were my mother.
“My poor girl, sit, sit, tell me what is wrong. Did you not get the role you wanted? Those people are stupid. You are the best dancer. Always. I’ll go down there and tell them.”
I grace her with a watery chuckle. “There’s no need for that. I got the part that I truly wanted. That isn’t why I’m crying.” I tell her about my father’s plans. “At least I’ll get the opportunity to dance as the Lilac Fairy before I have to give it all up.”
“I’m so sorry, child. You know your father wouldn’t be forcing you into this if he had another choice,” Nadia soothes. “He isn’t making this decision to hurt you. He’s in a very tough position. He’ll do as he promised and find someone who will treat you like the princess you are.”
“I know I’m being selfish. It’s why I didn’t argue with my father. But I can’t help but feel my life is over, and I’ll never get it back. I know the men that my father is considering. None of them is what you would call a kind man. They’re all cold and selfish. I just wish Alexi were here.”
“We all wish that. Your father wishes it the most. He hasn’t given up hope. Your father has been making inquiries. Maybe we’ll get lucky, and they’ll find Alexi.”
“Maybe,” I relent. I don’t know if I still have hope, but I do know I’m too tired to think about everything that is happening right now. “I’m going to take a bath.”
“I’ll prepare it for you,” Nadia offers, rising from the bed. She gestures toward the tray she brought. “I’ve brought you some pelmeni. Eat, you’ll feel better. Then you can relax in the tub.”
I thank her as I lift the lid. The fragrant smell of broth and meat wafts up.
My stomach growls appreciatively as I lift my spoon to sample the delicious dumplings filled with seasoned beef.
The comfort meal does the job. I clean the bowl and grab the glass of wine before moving into the bathroom.
Nadia has placed a lavender bath bomb into the steaming water.
“Thank you, Nadia, this was just what I needed,” I say, hugging the older woman.
“You relax now. Enjoy your wine. You’ll feel better.”
With those words, she leaves me. I turn on the speaker and plug in my phone.
After selecting the soundtrack for The Sleeping Beauty, I strip and lower myself into the fragrant water and let out a long sigh.
The music swirls around me as I let my mind drift to the upcoming performance.
I see myself as the Lilac Fairy flitting across the stage, accompanying Aurora.
The water cools around me, but my mind remains focused on the performance I plan to give.
Maybe my life won’t be the same once the music finally ends, but until then, I will be the Lilac Fairy who puts the story in motion.
As I dry off, I consider what I can do to change the direction of my life back onto a course that I want. I don’t want to leave my home or abandon my father, though, depending on the man he selects, I may have to consider it. I pull on comfortable clothes, lock the door, and grab my laptop.
Sitting cross-legged on my bed, I check my email.
Since Alexi’s disappearance, I’ve been searching for someone to help me find him.
I never expected to find someone, but I kept searching.
I needed to do something, and this was all I could think of.
For so long, it was a fruitless search. No one knew where Alexi was.
There was no information. All I knew was that he left the house one day and never returned.
My father searched for him and discovered he’d been drafted into the Russian Army and sent to fight in Ukraine.
Father contacted everyone he knew to get information about Alexi’s location.
He discovered that Alexi had been assigned to Pischane just before the Ukrainians reclaimed it.
Father’s contacts reported that Alexi was likely now a prisoner of war.
Father called in several favors, but he couldn’t uncover any more information.
That didn’t stop me from searching myself.
I scoured social media in hopes that someone knew something.
Until a few days ago, however, I had only received encouraging comments full of support, but no real information.
Not until NOLAKING messaged me. He claimed to know Alexi’s whereabouts.
Every day, I checked to see if he had anything more, but it had been days since he replied.
Closing my eyes, I click open the app and pray.
When I see the notification, I hold my breath and read it. “No new information, but have a lead.”