Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
Grady
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear.”
Rosa Parks
My eyes bounce between hers, finding the understanding in her words.
“It’s about both of us, Lou,” I say, not wanting her to give up any part of herself for me. Though I know she doesn’t need it, if she wants it, I’ll give it to her.
“Yes. Us. It’s only us here. You’re all I need,” she says as I thumb away the tear stains on her cheeks. Her emotions pour from her so easily, it’s one of the many things I love about her. She doesn’t hide from me. Even when she came here to hide from the world, she never really did from me.
I drop to my knees, lifting her leg over my shoulder, ready to worship at her feet. My fingers enter where my dick was just moments ago. Swirling, plunging, rimming her in a teasing way before moving back inside.
“Just us,” I mutter. The words flow so quietly I’m almost speaking to myself. “Just this strong, beautiful woman and her perfect pussy that tastes like nectar from my favorite fruit.”
“Grady,” she cries when my thumb circles the nub of nerves.
“You’re mine forever, Lou. This,” I say, before pausing to taste her, making her head fall back against the wall. “This is forever.”
I’m not letting her go. I won’t get complacent or lazy. This time around, I’ll be attentive, diligent with my love and affection. With my time. I won’t fail, not again.
“Forever,” she repeats.
I focus on making her come on my mouth while my mind conjures images of the future.
A house in the woods, overlooking the ocean.
A garden filled with plants. Louisa walking it, trailed by Paige and two other dark-haired angels.
Sand and dirt caked on their knees, sun kissing their faces as it shines through the curtain of trees.
Their mother brushing their curls out of their faces as she smiles at me watching from the large deck as I barbecue dinner for them all.
Tears threaten in my eyes. This is the future I want; this is the only woman I could ever want it with.
She comes. Overwhelming me more. Her body shakes violently, for a few seconds, then, she begins to calm.
Her fingers comb through my unruly curls, the same way I envisioned her doing with our imagined children.
I stay nuzzled between her thighs until she’s finished breaking for me.
Only then, do I stand and stare at the woman I’m certain is the woman I’ll grow old with.
I’ll die with her by my side. Then, I’ll find her in the next life.
Over and over, for all eternity. Maybe next time, I’ll find her sooner.
I’ll save her from the horrors the world can bring.
I was never in love with Brenda. That’s clear, now. I had—have—love for her, but it wasn’t this.
“How do I taste?”
Fucking hell. Here I am, all up in my feelings, and she says something like that.
“Find out for yourself,” I tell her, and smile when she raises her lips to meet mine.
She wastes no time thrusting her tongue in. A moan escapes, and my dick twitches with excitement.
Another noise from her is all I can stand. I lower her to the floor and slide in right here on the soft rug. I’d fuck her anywhere she wanted, and so far, it’s rarely the bed. She’s always as anxious as I am.
She’s always ready. Always throbbing her inner muscles around me in a tune that drives me wild. She pulls her legs up, holding them wide for me. I rise on my knees, alternating my vision between her face and where I slide in and out of her.
Lou is more stunning every day. I’d have never imagined it possible, but she is. Her body grows stronger all the time, and only more seductive, with her slight feminine curves that she controls so well.
I palm her tummy, feeling the way her muscles contract. Again, I imagine a future. Her belly full with our baby, it moving from the child growing inside. My hand there to comfort them both.
“Lou,” I choke out over my feelings. I move my hand to the back of her neck, pulling her head up to me. “Forever, Lou. Forever.”
Lip to lip, I come inside her. For the first time, and the last place.
It’s not enough money.
If I pull out as much as I can from my retirement, it’s still not enough. It’s close, but not close that close.
“We’ll sell the house in Portland,” Dad says. “It more than makes up the difference.”
Then, they’d move back here with me and Paige. We’d all have to start over, in a sense. No more savings.
“We’d be together,” Mom says. “That’s what matters.”
Except we all know that we need our own space. It’s not a large house for the four of us. We’ll make do, though. Winter will be harder, but we’ll make it work to get Paige back. It’s not ideal, not nearly. Though, I’ll have some help when I’m at work. That will make things easier.
“We’ll head home tomorrow,” Dad says. “Prepare the house and get it on the market. Maybe we’ll get lucky with a quick sale.”
“There’s no way of knowing how soon it will sell, in this market,” I say. “And it’ll take time to close. Maybe I can get a personal loan to cover the rest.” I’ll call the bank, see if they can do anything for me before time runs out. Before Brenda decides she wants more.
“Even so, we’ll sell the house to pay it back,” Mom says. “Whatever it takes, Grady.”
“Whatever what takes?” Paige comes running down the hall. I haven’t spoken to her about what’s happening, seeing no sense in it until I know what the results are. I haven’t spoken to Lou about it either. I don’t want to disappoint either of them. Besides my parents, Jules is the only one who knows.
She called the other day to check up on Mac’s dad, too afraid to call herself. I took the opportunity to vent to a trusted friend.
“Nothing to worry your perfect head about,” I tell her, picking her up and flipping her upside down while I tickle her. Paige’s infectious laughter heals something inside me. It’s serotonin or a dopamine rush.
“It’s not perfect; it’s messy! I didn’t do it right,” she says between giggles.
“You did great. What do you mean?” I flip her upright and take in her braids. They look good to me, though I don’t know shit about it.
“No, it’s not right,” she says, pointing to the side of her head. “See? Here. It’s wrong.”
“You’ll get it, you’re still learning.”
“Ugh, how long is it going to take?” She rolls her eyes dramatically.
“Anything worth learning takes time,” Dad says.
“I’m going to be twelve by the time I figure it out,” she says, her fists landing on her hips. It’s the pose she takes every time she’s frustrated. “By then, I probably won’t even like braids.”
“By then, you’ll have mastered it so well, you’ll be able to do it with your eyes closed,” I tell her. “You accomplish everything you put your mind to. You always have.”
“Grandma calls me determined.”
“Little Miss Determined,” my mother corrects.
“She’s right,” I say. “You’re also smart and brave.”
“I don’t know about that,” she says. “I’m still kinda scared of the dark.”
“We all are at your age,” I tell her.
“You were?” Her eyes widen.
“Heck yeah.”
“But you aren’t, now.”
“Nope. It goes away with time,” I say.
She looks skeptical but eventually nods with acceptance.
“What are we doing today?” she asks, because my parents are going to have lunch with friends and will likely be gone most of the day.
“Whatever you want,” I say.
“Can we do a puzzle?”
“Absolutely.”
“And have peanut butter apple sandwiches?”
“Of course.”
“Can I spread the peanut butter?”
“Who else would do it?”
“Thanks, Dad!” She runs off just as quickly as she ran in.
A few hours later, I’m watching her get more peanut butter on her hands than on the bread.
We spoke some about Lou. I already knew my daughter liked her, but it’s a different thing from having a friend next door than it is when that friend is dating your dad. I want her to be comfortable with the idea.
Regardless of how in love I am with Lou, I won’t take it further until Paige is just as in love. My daughter comes first. Being a dad comes before being a boyfriend.
“I want Lulu around all the time,” she’d told me. “She’s fun and likes to help me learn things.”
When I asked what she thought about Lou being my girlfriend, she swooned and said, “Oh yes, please.”
I suppose I can’t get more approval than that. So, my heart is easy when I have to walk my daughter next door to ask if Lou can watch her for a little while.
“Sam called,” I explain, when she answers the door. “He had a small kitchen fire and wants me to make sure everything is all right. I shouldn’t be there for more than an hour.”
“Take your time,” she says, sending a bright smile to my daughter. “I was just making a batch of thumbprint cookies and could use an extra thumb.”
“I have two!” Paige holds up both of hers.
“Perfect,” Lou exclaims. “Come on in, then.”
Pressing a kiss on each of their heads, I say goodbye.