Chapter 36
Nix
Iwake up to warmth.
Perfect warmth.
Like I’m wrapped in a heated blanket. In a warm room. On a warm bed. And it’s so incredibly comfortable. Even my pillow is warm, and I like it.
My muscles feel relaxed. My body feels boneless.
I don’t know that I’ve ever felt like this before. Surrounded by this much heat but not feeling like I’m going to sweat.
This moment feels like the definition of cozy.
I take a deep breath and notice the soft scent of mint in the air.
It even smells nice this morning.
An exhale ruffles my hair at the same time I notice the heavy weight across my side.
My eyes snap open.
I’m not alone.
My hands are twined together under my chin. But there’s another hand, a huge hand, with black fingernails, flat on the mattress in front of me, attached to the arm draped over me.
And there’s another arm under my head, acting as my warm pillow, with that hand dangling off the edge of the bed.
And I remember.
I remember all of it.
I try to keep my breathing even, not wanting to give away the fact that I’m awake.
Is he awake?
Do vampires sleep?
I squeeze my eyes shut.
I slept with a vampire.
I gave my virginity to a vampire.
And not just any vampire. Volik. One of the hottest of all time.
And if that’s not enough, I don’t even know him. At all.
We’ve never met.
Never talked.
I’ve never even seen him in person before today, when he stormed into my building.
Is it still today?
Moments blur together in my memory. But I remember the rumble of his voice. The way it felt.
The way he felt when I put my hands against his chest.
Tell me your name.
My eyes slide back open.
He asked me my name. And then he kissed me.
And… Embarrassment colors my cheeks as I think about my reaction to him.
The way I flung myself at him. Ground myself against him.
If we hadn’t been interrupted…
I cannot believe the literal dean of the college is the one who caught us.
Worry tangles with the rest of my emotions.
I hope I still have a job.
I look for the clock on my nightstand. If I miss class because I passed out and slept for a whole day after having sex with a vampire, then I will definitely lose my job.
I blink.
The clock isn’t in front of me.
I lift my gaze.
The nightstand is above me.
It’s…
I try to make sense of my location in the room.
Volik carrying me through the door, one-handed.
Volik setting me on the bed. Shredding my clothes.
Him lifting my lower half and… The bed creaking.
His giant dick.
More creaking.
Did we seriously break the bed?
Carefully, I flex my core muscles.
There’s an ache, but based on what I remember of his size, I should be incredibly sore.
I should also feel… messier.
We didn’t use any protection. Which is stupid. I didn’t get up to clean myself. Also stupid. And…
My eyes widen.
Did he… lick me… after?
I try to remember, but all I can find are feelings.
Satisfaction. Contentment. Adoration.
I think this giant man licked me clean after fucking me into a sex coma. And now he’s wrapped around me, cocooning me in his incredible heat.
His naked body plastered against my equally naked body.
His thick cock pressing against my ass.
His bare leg covering mine.
I’ve never felt this small before. Not in the good kind of feminine way. But with him… I feel dainty.
With him, I feel cherished.
Which is crazy.
I don’t know him.
I can’t just let him stay here.
My heart thuds. And I remember that too.
My heart stopping. Twice.
Our hearts beating as one.
My pulse quickens.
None of this can be real.
It has to be drugs.
Volik’s chest expands with steady breaths against my back.
His exhales are consistent.
Maybe he won’t notice our racing heartbeat.
Maybe that didn’t even happen.
Maybe he’ll stay asleep until I—
“What is wrong, Ma Fleur?” His deep voice rumbles through the room.
I jolt at the first syllable but relax by the last.
The sound of him calms me.
But that revelation causes me new stress. Because why? Why does this larger-than-life vampire bring me calmness?
None of this makes any sense. And as long as he’s near me, I won’t be able to think straight.
I open my mouth to speak, then close it again and swallow.
This is my apartment.
He is not here to hold me captive.
He hasn’t shown me any violence.
I purposefully forget about him telling me to stab him through the heart.
“Volik?” My voice comes out as a whisper.
His chest rumbles in pleasure when I say his name.
How do I know that’s pleasure?
“Yes, Nix?”
“Will you…” I swallow again, building my courage. “Will you do a favor for me?”
It feels weird asking him for a favor, but he seems so serious about me. And I think this might be the best way to get the space I need, so I can think.
“Anything.” His lips press against my bare shoulder. “Always.”
It’s a promise.
I believe him.
And it brings a pain to my chest because I know he’ll do as I ask. Even though what I’m about to ask will hurt him.
I know it will hurt him. I don’t understand how I know that.
Which is why I need space.
“Will you…” I don’t turn to face him. I can’t. “Will you leave? Please.”
Volik makes a tiny sound, and my heartbeat stutters. But I don’t know if it came from me or from him.
He drags his arm back over my side. “Anything you ask, I will do.”
My heart jumps again. And this time I know it’s from both of us.
My turmoil. His pain.
Volik presses a gentle kiss to my hair, then carefully pulls his arm out from under my head as he unwraps himself from around me.
Frigid air replaces him.
Coldness replaces my mate.
Staying on my side, I watch his sculpted naked backside as he walks to the door.
Shredded clothes.
Muscles and sinew.
I clutch the bedspread and bring it to my chest as I sit up.
He pauses. “What else?”
Volik’s tone is kind. Understanding. And that makes me feel even worse.
“Take the blanket off the couch. You can’t…” Thick green jealousy crawls over my skin at the idea of anyone else seeing him naked. “No one else can see you like this.”
His shoulders, which I hadn’t realized were so low, lift, just a little. “I will not permit anyone but you to look upon me. And Mea Unica…” Volik turns his head and looks at me over his shoulder.
He drags his eyes over my body. And even though they’re solid black, no reflections, no visible movement, I can feel it. I can feel exactly where his attention lands.
Volik brings his gaze back up to meet mine. “If anyone sees what is mine… they will see no more.”
His possession thuds inside my chest, and I know he can feel it.
Then he dips his chin. “I will leave you now.”
It’s what I asked for.
What I need.
But when he turns away from me, when he lowers his head to step through the doorway out into the hall, my heart pounds for a different reason.
I don’t want him to go.
I don’t want him to feel… unwanted.
I shift my grip on the blanket and press a palm over my aching heart.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
Volik straightens on the other side of the door.
“I know.” His answering whisper rumbles across the floor. “I am still in here.”
Then he moves down the hall, out of view.
But I know his hand is over his heart.