Chapter 94
Volik
Ilower Nix until her feet touch the floor. And I know I am out of time.
I cannot put this off any longer.
“Tell me,” she whispers.
I nod, finally meeting her gaze. “I will.”
Knowing the air will soon be filled with burnt orchids, I take a deep inhale.
She grips my wrist and lifts my hand to her chest. Over her heart.
I lift my other hand and slide it beneath her hair, palming the back of her neck. Feeling her heartbeat and her heat, reminding me she is real.
“This… This is something we grow up knowing.” I have been dreading this conversation since the moment I knew Nix was mine. Not because I do not want her to know. Because I know it will cause her pain. And that is the last thing I ever want to do.
“What do you grow up knowing?”
I swallow. “The mate bond, it is more than sharing a soul. It is sharing a life force. I was not sure if it would be the same for a human mate. But it is.”
Her bottom lip trembles. “What does sharing a life force mean?”
I focus on the feeling of her heartbeat beneath my palm. And then I tell her the last part.
The part I must.
“It means… When one dies, both die.”
“I…” A tear rolls down Nix’s cheek, and I struggle to keep our heartbeat steady. “So, the vampire, in that story… When her mate was murdered, she just… died?”
“Da. Their life was connected.”
“So…” More tears fall down her pretty face. “The comment Uncle made. About not knowing how the man died. That’s…” Her chest lifts with a broken inhale. “I’m not like you. So I can die in lots of ways.”
Her words rip at my heart. “We do not know that.”
“But we do, don’t we?” Her eyes plead with me to argue. “I still sleep. And eat. And I don’t have horns. I’m still at least partially human.”
“We do not know that.” I lower my face so it is close to hers. “And we will never find out. Because no one will ever hurt you.”
She grips my sides. “I don’t want to be your weakness.”
“Nyet.” I shake my head. “You are never that. You are my strength. My mate. You are my heartbeat, Nixy.”
“I’ll also be your downfall. You’re cursed to live a lifetime just waiting for someone to murder me to kill you. That’s the end of this story, right?” My mate chokes on a sob. “There’s only one way for you to die, unless someone does it by killing me?”
“Shh, Nixy. No more crying.” I purr as I sit on the foot of the bed and pull her with me.
She scrambles onto my lap, putting her knees on either side of my hips as she wraps her arms around my neck and presses her face to my shoulder. “I can’t be the reason you die, Volik. Even if it’s a long time from now. I just can’t.”
“You will not carry this burden. And you will not be the reason I die. You are the reason I live.”
“But—”
“I told you there is only one way to kill a vampire. But that is not the only way we can die. We can also die of old age. You and I, we will experience hundreds and hundreds of years together. We will age together. See the world change together. Then, when we are done here, when we have lived all we can live, we will fall asleep together. And the next dawn, we wake in the beyond, in the whatever comes next, and we will be together there too.” I hold Nix tightly, and I let her feel the truth in what I am saying.
“It is how it is meant to be.” I lean my cheek against her hair.
“I could not live in a world where you are gone. You are mine. And I am yours. And we are meant to be together forever. Wherever that is.” I feel my body relax as I remind myself of this truth.
“Our family will mourn us when we are gone. But we will never have to mourn each other.”
I rub my palm up and down Nix’s spine as she continues to cry against me.
I hold her. And I purr. And I let my gravito surround us, pressing us together.
Keeping us together.
“You are my purpose.” I nuzzle my cheek against her hair when she starts to relax against me. “I think that is why the bond makes me stronger. To protect you, and to protect myself.”
Her arms loosen around my neck, and she leans back.
I keep one arm behind her but lift the other and wipe the tears off her cheeks. “We will live a long time together, da?”
The corner of her mouth pulls up, just a bit, even as another tear drips off her lashes. “Da.”
Another tear.
I brush it away. “I am sorry I did not tell you sooner. I did not want to hurt you.”
“I understand.” Her hands move to my shoulders. “I have something I need to tell you too.”
“I am ready.” I stroke my hand up her back. “Tell me.”
She holds my gaze, her black eyes bright with emotion. “I love you, Volik.”
My vision…
My heart…
I was not ready.
“Your heart. Your soul. The way you make me feel…” Nix lifts a hand and brushes her thumb over my cheek.
“Whether it’s fate. Or the bond. Or inevitable for a thousand other reasons.
I don’t know or care. I just love you.” I feel the wetness this time when she slides her thumb across my skin.
“Maybe it feels so easy because I know you love me too. I feel it every day.”
I nod.
And I swallow.
And I nod again. “I do.” My voice comes out as gravel. “With all my being.”
Nix leans up until our lips are barely touching. “Show me.”