Chapter 43
Forty-Three
Cara
We set up lodging for the night in one of the buildings left standing. Bismyth and Amber took it over together, which meant uncomfortably close quarters, as far as I was concerned. There was no way we could keep Tesa and Ander apart forever.
But for now, Tesa seemed to be in hiding. Fear and Ander set up a command center together in the main room, from which they sent out patrols.
One of Obsidian’s first three, a woman named Akia, came in, though she tried only to talk to Ander. Still, she was too wise to be impolite to Fear when he pressed the issue.
“We will take care of the patrols up and down the coast,” Fear told her, and she expressed her gratitude.
Fear and I went up to our rooms long enough to wash and dress. I hated the thought of standing at his side and meeting with clan leaders, knowing that they would all judge me and find me lacking. But I would square my shoulders and do it anyway.
“What happened to this city during the Trials?” I asked. “Were they able to defend it on their own?”
The thought had nagged at me the entire time we were carrying the dead and watching mortals repair the city.
“They evacuate for the duration of the Trials,” Fear told me. “Though, I do have my questions about where the monsters come from. And how.”
“What are you thinking?” I had dressed in fresh clothes, and now I pinned my bracer to the doorframe, so I could try to strap it onto my arm.
Fear’s fingers wrapped around the bracer and my forearm. I was far too attuned to the feeling of his warmth against my skin. He began to strap it on for me. It was easier if we served each other this way; I told myself that was all it was.
He explained, “I question sometimes if she controls the rips or the monsters in some way.”
That would be both evil and unsurprising. The only thing I questioned was: “How?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Fear helped with my other bracer, then stepped back and cast a critical eye over me. I had already combed through my hair, and now I began to rebraid it. But I also met his gaze evenly.
“Embarrassed to be seen with the mortal?”
Really, I wondered if he was embarrassed to be seen with the mortal who could not fly.
“Never,” he told me. “I want to make sure that our audience, who hasn’t had the privilege of standing at the edge of your blade, can recognize your power.”
I shook my head. “You don’t want me to be powerful. You want me to be part of your plan.”
He tilted his head, studying me. “Do you really believe that?”
He sounded more curious than defensive or angry, and it opened a strange hollow in my chest.
I wasn’t sure what I believed about Fear.
“What do you need from me in there?” I worried what he needed was Lightbringer.
She had gone silent again. I felt her coiled in the back of my mind, able to help and yet unwilling.
When I pictured her that way—when hurt washed over me that my dragon rejected me—I felt as if something shifted underneath my skin, as if she were listening and wanted to respond, but held herself back.
“I need you to keep Ander on our side,” Fear admitted. “He won’t align with me. But he is your ally. The other clans respect him. Not all, but many of them, will fall in line if Ander and I seem to be united.”
“Who will fall in with us and who won’t? How do we win them over?” I asked.
“Obsidian will likely come with us because they have few other options. The only question is whether their current hatred for Bismyth in general and me in particular will make them resistant enough to follow the queen to their graves.”
His mind worked so quickly, and he sounded so sure of himself as he went on.
“Malachite will stay loyal to the queen. Selenite likely will as well. Quartz will follow us if they see Ander and me aligned, but they’ll need both.
If I can wrangle Obsidian, and Ander is clearly at our side, Flint will follow. ”
The way he was able to read them all amazed me, though I did not want to be impressed.
“And if they know I can’t shift? That you don’t have a way to defeat the queen?”
“There are many ways to defeat the queen,” he said with such confidence, as if half of his world hadn’t been burned to the ground when he tried to tear her from her throne before. “They know that. You don’t need to feel responsible if the alliance fails.”
“You said most of the clans will follow you or Ander.”
“If they are rational. If I make the right case. If Ander and I are a united front and Obsidian makes the intelligent decision. As soon as any of the clans visibly pull away, the entire thing becomes unstable. Some of them will leave, but I need to get enough of them to commit first before they unnerve each other.”
“If anyone can convince them, you can,” I said, not as a compliment, because it was true. Fear smiled as if it were a compliment, because of course he would take it as one. “They have good reason to rebel, with the attack on Obsidian. Would they risk themselves for mortals alone?”
I didn’t understand the shifters. I didn’t understand the way I had seen Obsidian fight for mortal lives today against impossible odds after watching their cruelty at Nez’s castle.
Fear was studying me in a way that I did not like at all, and I knew that he had heard the bitterness.
“What?” I demanded.
“I know you do not want to be queen,” he said. “But I cannot help but think it would be a far better kingdom with you on the throne. With the voice of mortals made loud.”
“Because then you would be the king at my side,” I said wryly.
“Even if I were not king,” he said.
I tied off the end of my braid and flashed a smile at him, though there was no humor in it.
It was only later, when Ander had joined us and we were trudging down the street to the granary where all the clan leaders would meet, that his words came back and haunted me.
They were unlike Fear. I had no doubt he was a true believer in the mission, that he cared about freedom for shifters and mortals alike.
But he wanted power. He wanted the throne.
Still, the words kept coming back to me.
Even if I were not king.
The grain warehouse where we met seemed to have been abandoned in a hurry. Dust still seemed to hang in the air, motes drifting in the shafts of light coming in through the windows.
It felt so far distant from the other rooms I had seen the shifters meet in, so mortal and unimpressive. If anyone forgot what they were supposed to be fighting for, it was all around us in the mortal boot prints left in the dust-streaked, broad wood floorboards.
The smoke from the pyres seemed as if it had followed us inside. Or perhaps the scent of smoke and of shifter losses just seemed to cling to my skin.
The furnishings available to us were simple enough, and so a row of chairs represented the nine clans.
Fear and I stood within the circle of chairs to represent Bismyth. Those of our clan who were not off patrolling or working with the mortals to rebuild the ruins of their city’s defenses stood behind us.
Ander stood to my left, just a little further away than Fear was to my right. Haron and Nixi stood with him, and a few other Amber clan members were behind.
Most of my attention was on the other clan leaders, and my gaze roamed between them, wishing I had Fear’s easy ability to read anyone.
At least the clan colors made it easier for me to sort out who was who. Deva of Garnet sat close to Vael of Selenite, and that worried me; Fear had said Selenite would be difficult.
Oryn of Lazuli had a book open in her lap and was writing in it. Occasionally, her gaze lifted from the book and settled on someone in a way that suggested they were the next topic, and then she returned to scribbling down her notes.
Sevran of Malachite was watching everyone.
Isen of Flint watched Fear, and I watched her long enough that she should have felt it, but her gaze never flickered from studying my husband.
She wouldn’t find me invisible if she knew that I could change everything with Lightbringer.
I turned my attention toward Lightbringer. “Are you still there?”
It was a stupid question. There was nowhere for her to go.
She had left whatever dreamworld the dragons occupied when they were not with us, and now she was forced to watch me make stupid decisions until I died.
When I thought of it like that, I could rather understand why she hadn’t rushed to claim any shifter.
Amusement, unfamiliar and not quite mine, curled through my mind like something carried on a sudden breeze. But she had nothing to say.
When Fear rose to his feet, every gaze in the place turned to him. He had that quality of bringing attention to himself, as if, no matter what people might mutter behind his back, everyone knew he was worth hearing.
Fear thanked everyone who had come. He explained that he and Ander had brought their clans here to help Obsidian fight an unreasonable mission, that the queen had ordered Obsidian to their deaths. He acknowledged Obsidian’s losses with a respectful nod to their clan.
The scent of the pyres seemed stronger now. It had to be my imagination.
“That’s unfortunate for Obsidian,” Sevran spoke up. “And how are we supposed to help? The queen has given us all our own missions.”
“Yes, and you can handle those mountain passes with half your numbers,” Fear said. “Few rips open in the mountains, but we cannot seal the rips in the sea to prevent the sea monsters’ passage.”
“You are suggesting we disobey the queen’s orders.” Sevran’s voice had a hard edge.
“We all understand that we have wide latitude to change our plans once we leave the Trials,” Fear said. “But if the queen commands us to leave our fellow clans to their deaths, then I would certainly choose disobedience. I hope we would all choose disobedience.”