3. Chapter Three
Chapter Three
Luciana
“Have you found a dress?” Matteo asks as we look at bouquets of flowers. The shop owner nervously follows behind, like she’s worried we won’t choose any flowers for our wedding.
I stop before a bouquet full of roses and lilies. “I did.”
“And?”
“And? I found a dress. Isn’t that enough? You don’t get to see it until the wedding day.”
Matteo smirks and doesn’t respond. Instead, he nods at the bouquet I’m considering. “Lillies are notoriously difficult to deal with and roses are cliché. We can find something else.”
I don’t move. “I like these ones. And this is my wedding day too. I should have what I want. I’ve been planning for this day my entire life.”
He stands before me, towering over me with his height. “You are right. This is your day but it’s also mine and I don’t like these flowers.”
“I’m the one carrying the bouquet. Doesn’t it matter what I want?”
“And I’m the one marrying you when I was promised someone else. We don’t always get what we want.” His words make me flinch.
I was taught to be polite my entire life so I force a smile on my face and say, “All right. We can choose different flowers.”
“Perfect.” He turns away from me and points to a different bouquet. This one full of pink dahlias and purple peonies. “This one will suit you.”
I stop myself from wincing. The bouquet is so…
little girl like and the last thing I want is to be a little girl.
But it’s what Matteo wants and I have to make him happy.
I will be married to him – a man who has shown he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants.
The last thing I should be doing is pushing his buttons.
“All right,” I whisper. “We’ll go with those ones.” My dream wedding is slipping through my fingers before my very eyes.
And there’s nothing I can do about it.
“He’s frustrating,” I complain to Sienna, flopping onto her couch.
At least at Sienna’s home, I can experience more freedom.
At my house, my father never let me put my feet up on the couch but at Sienna’s, I can do so.
Her mother never cares. “I feel like I have to do everything he wants. But what about what I want?”
“They’re just flowers, Luci. It doesn’t matter. What matters is making him happy. That’s what my father taught me. Make your husband happy.” A little sad hiccup escapes her. “Except, he’s gone now and I don’t know what I’ll do for a husband. I have no protection. It’s just me and my mom.”
I rub her arm. “You’ll be ok. Everyone is looking at me right now.
No mafia men will come for you. Your father was a respectable man.
Everyone respects you and your mom. Just focus on mourning your father’s loss right now.
Nothing else matters. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come to you with this problem.
” I stand up and straighten my dress. “I’ll leave you be. ”
“Luci,” she sighs, holding out her hand.
“I am sorry myself. I don’t want you to go.
You have the right to complain. It’s a scary situation you’re in.
You’ve always played by the rules and now you’re being forced to marry a man who frightens you.
That’s not fair. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. ”
“Thank you. You do too. Hopefully you’ll find that one day.”
She offers me a sad smile. “And hopefully you’ll find it yourself.”
“I doubt it. Not when I’ll be married to Matteo. He told me that I’m his second choice, essentially. It hurt. I never thought I would be someone’s second choice. And why do I even care what he thinks? I shouldn’t.”
“He’ll be your husband. It’s normal that you care. And I’ll always be here for you.”
“What will the other mafia women think? I just know Alexandra will have opinions on all of this.”
Sienna waves a dismissive hand. “Don’t worry what that old woman thinks. You’ll survive this, Luci. You know you will. You’re the strongest person I know. You’re also so good at keeping your composure in light of hard times. You never crack. So don’t crack now.”
I let out a slow breath and pull Sienna into a hug. “Thank you. I’ll try not to crack. And you have to be strong too.”
“I’ll try to be.”
Sienna’s words don’t offer me much comfort but I know she’s trying.
And I know I have to try too.
My father expects this of me. Gabriel expects this of me. Matteo expects this of me.
I have to stay strong and not crack. I will marry this man who is a stranger. Who frightens me and yet fascinates me.
I have no other choice.
Gabriel and Aurora decide to host the rehearsal dinner at their home. For the past month, I have been planning everything with Matteo. Despite seeing him almost every day, I feel like he’s even more of a stranger than when I first met him.
“Thank you for this,” my father says, shaking Gabriel’s hand. “For hosting the dinner. I don’t think I could have.”
My father and I haven’t spoken much in the past month. He always looks so sad and I’m not in the right head space to offer him comfort.
“Of course,” Aurora says. “It was our pleasure.” She offers me a kind smile. “Why don’t we go into the dining room? Everyone is converging in there.”
“Thank you,” I murmur, though thanks is the last thing I am feeling.
The dining room is filled with people – at least fifteen from my count. A small intimate gathering.
Matteo is already here, sipping champagne as he speaks to another man. Across the room, I notice Leo Detti and his wife, Emma. Leo keeps throwing glares in Matteo’s direction while Emma stays by his side.
She’s traumatized, I realize. Matteo kidnapped her and yet, he got off scot-free and gets to be rewarded: by marrying me. None of this is fair.
I approach Leo and Emma. “Hello. How are you doing this evening?”
“Pissed that that fucker is here,” Leo says, shocking me.
Most mafia men don’t cuss in front of me.
It’s a sign of honor and respect. Leo seems to realize what he did and clears this throat.
“I am sorry. I just hate that we weren’t able to kill Matteo.
He should be dead instead of marrying you.
I was never in agreement with this, by the way. ”
“Well… thank you. For not wanting to sell me away in marriage. Unlike some other people.” I glance at Gabriel, who’s speaking to Matteo like there’s no problems whatsoever.
Leo scoffs. “Gabriel can be a real stickler for things sometimes.”
“It is good that we’re at peace,” Emma offers in her soft voice. “It’s better than war.” It almost sounds like she’s trying to convince herself of her own words.
“I know he kidnapped you,” I say. “And I am sorry for that.”
“I’m sorry you have to marry him.”
Emma and I share a smile, both of us knowing that this life is unfair to mafia women.
My father approaches us, putting his hand on my back. It’s a sign that I belong to him but soon I’ll belong to Matteo. A new life entirely. “Leo, I hope you’re not putting any crazy ideas in my daughter’s head.”
“Seeing as I’m the only one against her marrying Matteo, I think she’s safe with me.”
Rocco frowns. “I am completely against her marrying Matteo. But you know I can’t do anything against Gabriel. It’s his decision and this has to happen.”
“By signing your own daughter’s life away.”
“Need I remind you that if you had just given Emma to Matteo, then I wouldn’t have had to sacrifice my own daughter?”
Leo narrows his eyes. “Emma is my wife. Show some respect.”
“And Luciana is my daughter. Who I raised all on my own.”
“Come along, Emma,” Leo murmurs, putting his arm around her. “Gabriel doesn’t need us here tonight.” He makes a point of walking out of the house with Emma right beside him.
I notice Gabriel looks angry but doesn’t go after Leo.
“Is that what happened?” I ask my father. “Leo was supposed to give Emma up? When you told me that Gabriel had offered Matteo to Leo, I didn’t know Leo and Emma were already married.”
“Which is why Gabriel couldn’t make Leo give Emma to Matteo. But I still think it should have happened. If then, you would be safe now.”
“But then Emma would be the sacrifice.” I shake my head. “None of this is fair. Women shouldn’t be used this way.”
“I agree. But my hands are tied, Luciana. I can’t stop this from happening. You will be married to Matteo tomorrow. I’ll have to lose you.” His voice gets caught in his throat and he turns away from me, covering his mouth. I can tell this pains my father to have to give me up.
It pains me too.
“I will not break, Daddy. I will not crack. That I’ll promise to you.”
Matteo comes over to us, looking between me and my father. “Am I interrupting anything?”
“Yes,” my father snaps.
“No,” I reply on instinct. Never let anyone know you’re bothered by something. It’s the respectable, polite thing to do. “Nothing is happening.”
Matteo holds his hand out to me. “We should take our seats. Dinner is ready.”
I hesitate but finally decide to give Matteo my hand. It’s what’s expected of me. The moment Matteo closes his hand around mine, I feel goosebumps break out on my skin. My body tingles in a way it never has before. I gasp and try to pull my hand free but Matteo holds on.
He leads me to the dining table and pulls out my chair. At least he’s a gentlemen… in public. But in private, he could be anything.
Everyone takes their seats and the dinner begins. I eat in silence, not wanting to speak and regret something I might say.
In fact, most people are not talking. It’s a tense affair. Everyone knows it.
Near the end of dinner, Matteo stands up and lifts his champagne glass. “A toast. To my soon-to-be wife. May we spend the rest of our lives together.” Instead of sounding happy and inspiring, it just sounds like a threat. Like I’m not going anywhere after I’m bound to Matteo.