11. Chapter Eleven
Chapter Eleven
Luciana
Iwake up beside Matteo and for the first time since we’ve been married, I don’t feel fear. I’m in his arms. It’s a comforting place. What does it say about me that I can find comfort in the arms of a man like Matteo?
My mind is still confused. Still conflicted and I don’t know how to get rid of it.
He wakes up when I pull away from him. Last night, I was so emotionally distraught over my conversation with my father that I cried myself to sleep. Matteo held me the entire time.
“What are you doing?” he asks in a groggy voice.
I freeze. “Hi… Morning.”
“Are you pulling away from me again?”
“I’m sorry. Am I doing something wrong?”
He sighs and runs his hand down his face. “No. I just don’t want you to pull away. But if you want to, then you can. I won’t force you to stay in my arms.”
“That’s not –,” I cut myself off.
He quirks an eyebrow. “That’s not what? Tell me, Luciana. Open up to me. How many times do I have to ask you to do that?”
“I fell asleep in your arms. It just happened.”
“It did. Is there something wrong with that?”
“No,” I admit.
“But?”
I sigh and slump onto the bed. “But I just feel like I shouldn’t like it.”
“Because of the bad things I have done.”
“Yes.” My hands wring together until my fingers turn paper white.
He takes my hands in his and holds them, not saying anything for a long moment.
I don’t pull away. His hands feel nice. “I can keep telling you to not fear me. I can treat you like a monster. I could tie you to this bed again. I could spank you. I could treat you like a queen. And you’re still going to think what you want to think.
Only you can change your opinion of me. But I want to show you things.
So many things that will open your eyes to the real world. Let me.”
I know this is the moment where things can change. I just have to let him in.
A part of me is still terrified to do so but another part of me wants to give in to him.
I think back to the pleasure he’s shown me before and I want to experience it again. I want to not be so afraid. I want to get lost in that pleasure and forget my mind for a moment.
“Ok,” I whisper.
His eyes darken and it makes my stomach tingle. Despite everything, I’m still attracted to Matteo. His presence is sexy while also intimidating. Will that ever change?
He hovers his body over mine and gazes down into my eyes. I feel like a sacrificial lamb as I lay underneath him. The innocent virgin staring into the eyes of the predator who wants to eat her. I flush at the memory of how Matteo put his mouth on me before.
“What are you thinking?” he asks, still not touching me. Just there. Looking down at me.
“I can’t say.”
“Luciana.” His tone is a warning. He wants me to open up. That means admitting to all of my real feelings. All of my real desires. Real vulnerability.
“I was thinking of… when you put your mouth on me.”
“And?”
“And… how much I liked it.” The second the words leave my mouth, I feel a weight lift off my shoulders.
“Then let me do that for you again.” He grabs the end of my silky nightgown and pushes it around my waist. My panties feel wet. It’s my arousal, I realize. I hadn’t even known I was turned on until this moment.
His eyes never look away from me as he grips my panties and pulls them down. The cool air that hits my bare intimate area is almost too much. On display before my husband. My larger than life husband.
Matteo still looks into my eyes as he grabs my legs and presses them to my chest before parting them. I gasp. His large hands frame my thighs. He could hurt me if he wanted to but he’s choosing not to. I have to trust that. I have to trust him because I have no one else now.
Matteo is my husband for the rest of my life.
His eyes finally flick down to my body. “You’re wet.” He slides his finger along my slit. The sensation is so pleasurable, it’s almost unbearable. A soft moan escapes me. Involuntary.
“You like this?” he asks, running his finger over my nub. It sends spikes of pleasure after pleasure right through me. He flicks my clit which makes my hips buck up. “Tell me, Luciana. Don’t hold back.” There’s a desperation in his voice. He needs this as much as I do.
“I like it,” I admit. “I do.”
“Are you telling me that because you think it’s what I want to hear and you’re trying to be a perfect wife? Or are you telling me the truth?”
“The truth. I do like it.”
He flicks my nub again and I gasp. Wetness seeps out of me. He brings his hand to my inner thigh.
“You’re wetness is coating your thighs. You really do like this, don’t you? Don’t hold back, Luciana. I want to show you pleasure. So much fucking pleasure. Enjoy it.”
He bends down and places his mouth right onto my nub. His lips suckle it while his tongue flicks at it. It’s almost too much to handle.
A whimper leaves me. My hands clench into fists around the bed sheet. The pleasure Matteo is showing me is going to kill me. I am willingly letting him put his mouth on my most intimate area. This isn’t what proper wives do.
But I remember what Aurora told me. That it’s ok to enjoy things with your husband. That it’s better than being miserable. That no one else has a say in what goes on in your bedroom with your partner.
Her words help me relax. There’s nothing wrong with this.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying this.
Matteo licks me harder and harder. I didn’t even know any of this was possible. My hips rise and fall, seeking… something. Another release like he gave me before. The orgasm I was never taught.
But I know now and that’s what matters. I am getting the education I was denied.
Matteo grips my thighs and looks up at me as he eats me out. The sight makes me blush. His mouth, so close to areas I never let anyone see before. The pleasure he’s giving me which I didn’t know existed. I’ve been missing out.
I was saving it all for my husband.
Matteo licks me from my entrance up to my clit. A moan crawls its way out of my throat and leaves my lips. It all feels like heaven on earth.
His lips find my nub and play with it over and over and over again until I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. My head whips back and forth. I don’t know how others withstand this sort of pleasure. I feel like I’m doing to die while also being reborn for the first time in my life.
He lets out a low growl as he licks me harder.
“Tell me how much you like this,” he demands before flicking me with his tongue. My hips buck into his face but he holds me down. I’m not going anywhere… though I’m not sure I want to be anywhere else.
“Matteo,” I whisper.
“Tell me.” His tongue shows me no mercy. It’s like he’s tasting every part of me. Never have I been on this much of a display before.
“I like it,” I admit.
“How much?” He grips my thighs tighter, signaling to me that I am his. He gently laps at my clit, taking his time. This is a long term marathon for him; not a sprint.
“I like it a lot.”
“Describe it to me.”
How does he expect me to talk while he does this to my body?
I force the words out of my throat. “It’s indescribable. It’s pleasure. It’s like… being born again.”
The low growl that leaves his mouth makes another gush of arousal leave me. He licks me harder and harder. I never knew the tongue had so much power to it.
“Then come for me, Luciana. Find your release. Don’t be afraid.” He licks my clit again and again and again.
A moan escapes me. My hips buck into his face. My cheeks are flushed. My mind is going wild.
And right when my orgasm hits me, Matteo brings his tongue to my entrance and slips it inside. I shudder and shake as his tongue moves further into me, reaching parts of me I never knew existed.
“Oh,” I sigh, trying to catch my breath. My legs feel shaky even though I’ve been lying down for the entire night. Matteo sits up, wiping my wetness from his chin. “Sorry.”
He frowns. “Why are you apologizing?”
“My.. arousal. It was on your face.”
His low chuckle makes my stomach tingle. “Trust me, Luciana. You don’t have to apologize for that. I love how wet you are.” He swipes his finger along my slit. “You’re still wet for me.”
“Is that normal?”
“It’s perfectly normal. You did nothing wrong. You were perfect.” He brings his finger to my entrance. “I want to get your body ready for me.”
“For us to do our duty someday.”
He smirks. “Yes. For us to do our duty. And more.”
In one fast motion, he slides his finger into me. My inner walls clamp down on instinct. It both hurts and feels amazing.
I flinch.
“It’s ok,” he murmurs, pressing his finger deeper. “Feel this. All of it. My finger going deep into you. You need to be ready for my cock one day.” He slides his finger until it’s almost out of me before pushing it back in.
A soft sigh leaves me as my body responds to his touch. The more he keeps moving his finger in and out of me, the more it feels good. Less scary.
“What are you doing to me?” I whisper.
“I’m making you feel good. Does this feel good?” He never looks away from my eyes as he pushes his finger in deeper.
My legs part wider of their own accord. I need more. More friction. More pain. More pleasure. None of it makes any sense.
“It feels…”
“Yes? Tell me, Luciana. Tell me what you’re thinking as my finger dives into your pussy.”
His words make me blush. “Why do you call it that?”
“Your pussy? Because that’s what it is. There’s no shame in it. Do you like it when I call it your pussy?”
“I don’t know what to think.”
“Does it feel good? That’s all that matters.”
“Yes,” I sigh. “Yes, it feels good.” It also feels amazing to vocalize how I’m really feeling.
“Then I want you to come for me again as I finger fuck you. Can you do that?”
His harsh, dirty words make me blush but they also make more wetness seep out of me. Is there something wrong with me? Or is this perfectly right?
“I don’t know,” I admit.