Chapter 28
Chapter
Twenty-Eight
The day is a lovely one. The sun is shining high in the sky, the occasional fluffy cloud drifting past. Kalos takes the goats out into the nearby pasture as requested, and he sits in the grasses, watching them as they play and climb atop a few old barrels.
Omos and I have the dirty work, but I don’t mind.
It seems a small price to pay for how kind he’s been to us.
We pull hay from the old barn, and it’s stacked in tight, heavy blocks.
I use the pitchfork to separate the hay and pitch it into a wheelbarrow while Omos spreads the loose hay in the pen to dry the churned mud.
It’s hard, itchy work, and by the time we’re done, I’m sweaty and covered in hay, and desperately wanting a real bath. I wipe at my brow and take the dipper of water that Omos holds out to me.
“Do you need to attend to your lord?” Omos asks, watching me closely.
“Hm? Oh, no. He’s fine.” I wave a hand at his question. “He’s out playing with the goats. I think he likes them better than people.”
“But he’s better this morning?” the monk prompts.
I nod. “The fugue state hits him out of the blue and he’s not himself for a day or two, but then he’s back to normal. It’s just part of his curse, I suppose.”
As I finish drinking, Omos returns the dipper to the water bucket and hesitates. “You know…I have not had the opportunity to meet with an Aspect of Apathy until now. Most remain in one place or quickly depart this realm.”
I flinch at his words, but they’re not meant to be unkind.
He’s just speaking truth. “I think if it was up to Kalos, we’d have probably stayed back where I’d found him.
I insisted we leave, though. I imagine it’s hard for him—or any of them—to motivate when they’re cursed like they are.
” Staying and dying probably seems the quickest way “out” of their predicament, but I’m not about to lie down and let someone else steamroll us.
Omos feigns a lot of interest in the ladle. “I truly hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but my lord Kalos is unlike any of the other Apathy aspects I’ve read about. He’s far more alert than he should be.”
I’m surprised. That’s the second person that’s commented that Kalos isn’t like most Apathy aspects.
It’s not that I had expectations of what “Apathy” would look like, other than depression.
But to hear that Kalos is more cognizant than most throws me for a loop.
What are the others like if not like him?
I can’t imagine. “I guess that’s good, right? ”
“Aye, it’s good. Perhaps you’ve given him something to be interested in.”
My face heats in a fiery blush and I hope Kalos isn’t listening in. “We’re just good friends. Road buddies. Trauma bonding.”
He’s a god and I’m just…a nobody.
“If you say so,” Omos replies.
He offers me the ladle again, but I’m no longer thirsty. My mind is spinning. I don’t know what to think. If Kalos isn’t like the other Apathy aspects, why not? “How is he different?” I ask. I feel like I’m pumping the monk for information but…how can I not? “In what way? What do I need to know?”
His eyes widen and he sets the bucket down. “I didn’t mean to alarm you. Just that, well, you’ll forgive an old man if he speculates.”
“Speculate away. I’m going into all this blind, and Kalos isn’t much of a help. I don’t think he paid much attention to mortals.”
“Even if he did, their memories are fractured when they arrive in the mortal realm. It’s something about living here.
It doesn’t sit right with them. That’s one reason why the High Father ties them to a mortal Anchor.
I met the god of battle, his arrogance Aspect, and there are certain things about Kalos that remind me of him.
When one Aspect is destroyed, a small portion of him is reabsorbed by the others.
If I am allowed to speculate, I would suggest that arrogance has already been quietly removed.
Do you know anything about the other aspects? ”
Kalos is…Arrogance as well as Apathy? I want to laugh, because what a shitty combination, but there’s nothing funny about the situation. He has been rather fussy about his clothing, but I thought he was just vain. Maybe it’s not vanity at all. “Is there a way to check? How can we tell?”
“There are spinners in some towns.” At my blank look, he continues. “Wise women. They can see some of the Fates’ great web from afar. You might consult one.
“Yes! Fantastic! Where can we meet one?” A psychic? A real one? I would give my left tit for answers straight from the gods. Given that I’m currently besties with a god, I have no doubt that these spinners can really talk to deities. Why not?
His expression falls. “The nearby village has one, but she’s the woman that I’ve been visiting. Her illness is quite severe.”
“Oh.” I’m crushed, because I don’t want to bother a sick old woman. It takes me a moment to remember that Kalos is the god of disease. “What if we visit her? I’m sure I can ask nicely, and he’ll fix her up. I think he’d do that for me.”
“In other words, he will only help the unfortunate when both of you get something out of it?”
Oof. Hit me right in the heart, why don’t you.
Omos hesitates, then continues. “If I may be so bold…”
I grab him by the shoulders. “Be bold. Tell me exactly what you’re thinking, Omos. I need all the help I can get. I need advice. Answers. A crash course on what the fuck we’re supposed to do.”
He looks torn. “I just…I just wonder what your plan is. You’ve been with Lord Kalos for how long now?”
“Two months? Three? I’ve lost track.”
“And you’ve been running the whole time. Is…that your plan?” He asks gently. “To hide out and run for the entirety of his span upon the mortal realm?”
I blink at him. “I don’t know…I mean, what else can we do?”
“You tell me. You are the one accompanying a god.”
I’m silent. Not because I’m angry, but because he’s forcing me to really think about our situation long-term. I’ve been taking it day to day, hour by hour, existing until the next nap, the next meal, the next town. I haven’t thought bigger picture.
But…Kalos is a god. He’s not wrong. He has power in his name, his reputation.
He has limited access to his abilities, if I don’t mind being violently ill in exchange.
If we wanted to abuse our power and take control of the situation, we could.
It’s just risky. If people know where we are, they can come after us. We could be murdered within a week.
But is spending the rest of our days running and hiding the answer? “What did other gods do?”
“You must find your own path, of course,” Omos says. “But you met Seth. He has amassed an army. And when Lord Aron of the Cleaver was in the mortal realm, he had an army, as well. Several, actually.”
Armies. God, just the thought of trying to help Kalos run an army makes me want to vomit with stress.
“I don’t know that we’re fighters,” I admit. “And Kalos is unpredictable at best.” Even when he’s alert, he’s prickly and unsympathetic. And if he’s in a fugue state…I can’t imagine we would inspire an army.
“Then do something else.” Omos’s voice is gentle. “Just do something.”
He makes it sound so easy.
I wake up the next morning full of determination. Not even the headache throbbing behind my eyes can put me off my new plan. I eat breakfast, ignoring the faces Kalos makes as I devour the food, and approach Kalos with my idea before he takes the goats out to the pasture. “I have plans for today.”
His silvery brows go up.
“Omos says there’s a spinner in a nearby village. I want to go talk to her.”
Now he rolls his eyes. “What’s a charlatan going to do for you? If you want someone to lie to your face, I’ll do it and save you the walk.”
“He didn’t say she was a liar,” I protest. “Are they all liars?”
“Not all of them. But does it matter? Why do you want to talk to a spinner?”
“So we can pin down where your other aspects are so we can decide how to move forward? Let us know if Seth is coming after us? Tell us how much longer this Anticipation is going to continue?” I tick them off on my fingers. “Should I go on?”
He eyes me speculatively. “You’re in a foul mood this morning.”
“I’m not. I just have a headache and it’s getting worse when we argue.
And I’m frustrated because all we’ve done so far is run from enemies, and I don’t feel like it’s an effective plan.
” I’m tired and frustrated, and last night I’d dreamed that Seth had caught us, that he and Margo had laughed gleefully even as they led me towards a guillotine.
Not that I’ve seen a guillotine in this world, but the rest feels a little too close for comfort.
The bad dream is probably the source of my headache and my shitty mood.
“If we can ask someone who has a connection to the gods—possible connection,” I correct when his look darkens, “then why wouldn’t we take this opportunity to seek out information?
What else were you planning on doing today? ”
Kalos shrugs, but the annoyance remains on his face. “If this is what you’d like to do, then we can do it.”
“Yes. Perfect.” I want to grab him by the shoulders and kiss him with relief. For once, we’re going to be proactive instead of reactive, and the feeling rising inside me feels like…hope.
I put on my heavy shoes and smooth my wrinkled clothing out, then talk with Omos. He gives me directions to the village and offers up bundles of herbs to carry with us to keep the plague away. Then he giggles to himself, shaking his head. “I’d forgotten for a moment who you were with.”
“We’ll still take the herbs,” I say, tucking a bundle into my belt. I don’t want anyone else knowing who we are. It’s safest to be anonymous. Then I pause, my head pounding. “I don’t suppose you have anything for headaches?”
“Your head bothers you?” Kalos asks, stepping forward. When I shrug, he reaches out and brushes a fingertip across my brow. My nose tickles for a moment, but then the headache vanishes.