Chapter 38
Chapter
Thirty-Eight
Ipace the room. The large, airy window is no good, because if I climbed out, I’d have to jump at least fifty feet.
The door lock isn’t like one I’m familiar with, and I don’t have anything small enough to try to pick it.
Not that any of this matters, because I can’t—and won’t—leave Kalos’s side.
I search for weapons, but when they cleared the tray, they took the utensils.
All that’s here is a pitcher of water, a wooden cup, a god in a trance, and a very, very foolish-feeling human Anchor.
How did I not see this coming?
We’ve been too relaxed at Omos’s home. It’s made me forget that the end goal is to get rid of us. That everyone’s secretly waiting for me to die so Kalos can return to his plane and one more Aspect will be removed from the mortal realm.
I take the pitcher by the handle and pace as I clutch it tight.
I’m going to club someone over the head with this if they try anything.
As I pace, I pause every now and then to caress Kalos, to kiss his cheek or brush a finger along the curve of his ear.
I want to remind him that I’m here with him, even if he’s not mentally here with me. He’s not alone.
The door lock clicks and I raise the pitcher high, moving between myself and Kalos instinctively.
It’s Priestess Alithia, a tray of more delicious food in her hands. She flinches at the sight of me with the pitcher raised, squeezing her eyes shut and leaning away. “I can explain!”
“You’d better,” I snarl.
She creeps past me to gingerly set the tray down on the table. The door to the room is wide open and I glance out, only to see multiple armed men waiting in the hall. Running isn’t an option, then. At least, not yet. When Kalos is back to himself, we can plan. For now, I must bide my time.
Alithia gestures at the pitcher. “You want that filled up again?”
With a scowl, I hand it to her.
She exits and returns a moment later, setting the pitcher on the table.
“You said you were going to explain,” I remind her as she puts a few linen napkins next to the tray. “Go ahead and explain. I have nothing but time.”
The priestess licks her lips and clears her throat.
“There’s no book. It was a lie to bring you here.
We’d heard word that Omos had strangers staying with him, and the villagers in Thornhill went on and on about the Vulture God and his maiden.
It didn’t remain a secret for very long.
Our goddess, Belara, remains in this world, and so we were trying to think of ways to be of use to her.
” She spreads her hands. “Which is why we’ve captured you. ”
“We haven’t done anything to you, or to your goddess!”
“I know. And for that, I truly am sorry. I have orders and I must obey.”
“Orders? From who?”
Alithia purses her lips and glances about the room. “Are you comfortable enough? Would you like needlework or something to occupy your time?”
Needlework? Is she fucking serious? “No? I want you to let us go.”
“I cannot do that. Please know we mean you no harm. While you stay with us, we want to make you as comfortable as possible. Just tell us if you need something, or if the food doesn’t suit you.”
I clench my jaw.
She hesitates. “Our instructions were to keep you separate from your Aspect, but I have seen how fond of him you are, and that seemed unnecessarily cruel. Please understand that we are trying to be as kind as we can while still being obedient.”
“Obedient to who?” I press.
Alithia is silent. She moves to the door.
“Obedient to who?” I ask again. “Who’s making demands?”
She opens the door and pauses. “We’ll bring a cot and some blankets in later, after you’ve eaten. You’ll be here for a few days at least, until our guests arrive. I hope you will allow us to be gracious hosts.”
Guests. As in plural.
Oh shit. I sincerely hope it’s not Margo and Seth. I would like to never see them again.
She closes the door behind her, and I yell after her. “You don’t have to lock it, you know. It’s not like I can go anywhere.”
There’s no answer, but there’s also no click of the lock, which satisfies me. Marginally. My mood is shit, though, and I sit down across from Kalos again and stare out the window at the late afternoon sunlight.
Who wants us trapped here and for what reason? It can’t be Kalos’s other Aspect—he’d just have us killed. So…who, other than Margo and Seth?
Is it possible that Belara’s Aspect has something to do with this? But why? If it’s revenge, why keep us alive?
It’s not until very late in the evening that Kalos returns to himself.
I’m half-dozing on the cot when I wake up and see he’s no longer in his chair but standing by the still-open window.
Moonlight pours in over his silvery hair, illuminating his elegant features.
He’s beautiful and ethereal in this light, and his expression is so, so fucking sad it makes me ache.
“Hey,” I say, reaching a hand out for him.
He glances over at me, remorse on his face. “I’m going to get you killed.”
“That’s the deal, remember?” I joke. When he doesn’t laugh, I sit up in bed.
I’m still dressed—they’d offered me Belaran robes, but I think I’d rather be naked than wear something that shows allegiance to the enemy goddess.
“It’s fine. You couldn’t help what happened.
It’s my fault for pushing too far. We shouldn’t have risked it. ”
He gives a small shake of his head that tells me he disagrees with me, but we don’t argue further. Instead, he stares out the window again. “Count on Belara’s people to make gardens everywhere. That one’s full of flowers designed to be pretty and nothing else. Not a single useful herb.”
I hug the pillow in bed. “I don’t think we can escape. It’s too far to jump and the hall is full of guards.”
“I’m sure that’s their plan.” Kalos indicates the room around us. “A charming prison is still a prison.”
My fingers twine in the silken tassel on the corner of my pillow. “Alithia wouldn’t say who wanted them to keep us here. Just that she had orders.”
“She doesn’t need to tell us. I know who, and I know why.”
That makes me blink. “You do?”
Kalos’s bleak expression turns even more grim. “I can feel my other Aspect approaching.”
My skin prickles and I break into a cold sweat. I should have known. That’s why we’ve been held captive. The enemy is on his way. “Why are Belara’s people working with your other Aspect and not you?”
“That is the question, isn’t it?”
“Is it possible he’s working with an Aspect of Belara?”
The sour expression on his face would be comical if we weren’t in such shit now.
“The last time I spoke to Belara, I demanded for her to wed me. She laughed in my face and so I liquified the innards of her priests. That was two millennia ago. She hasn’t forgotten, but apparently this lot has.
” He indicates the door. “Or else they wouldn’t be so quick to invite us in. ”
I clutch my throat. I don’t know which part of that statement makes me more sick—that he proposed marriage to a goddess, or he slaughtered a bunch of people simply because of who they worshipped.
He sees my face and sighs heavily again. “And now you loathe me, too.”
Shaking my head, I try to form my thoughts. “I…I know it’s different when you’re a god and you don’t see people as people. I know we don’t think the same. I just…”
“I’m not proud of it. I was young and petulant and wanted to hurt her.
I should have blessed the lot instead of killing them, because I’m lucky that my decision saved me from falling for her charms all over again.
” He crosses his arms and stares out the window.
“They weren’t people to me, not then. I think that’s why the High Father sends us down here over and over again.
You forget so much over the course of the years as they pass.
Time drifts by and you lose touch with reality.
Here, we’re forced to come to terms with the world we’ve created. ”
“And…?”
“And right now I’m thinking I should have been a bit more benevolent, because a temple full of devoted followers would come in very handy.”
“We’ll think of something,” I say automatically. “I’m not sure what, yet, but there’s bound to be a solution.”
Kalos pushes away from the wall, moving towards me. “You never give up, do you?”
I shake my head. “I can’t. All that’s holding my brain together is optimism and a bit of duct tape. Giving up unravels everything.”
He kneels on the floor next to the cot and puts his head in my lap.
His arms go around me, and he pulls me closer.
“Do you know, I have hated every single Anticipation that I have ever participated in. I have loathed them more than I loathe my brother, and that is saying a lot. And as Apathy, I should be completely and wholly miserable.”
My hands find his soft, tousled hair. “And…?”
“And I’m not even remotely miserable,” he says. “Not even a bit. The only part that makes me miserable is thinking that this has to end with your death.”
“We’ve always known that’s the deal,” I say softly again, even though it aches to think about. I agreed to do this to save my brother, not knowing if I’d get one day or a thousand. I’d make the same choice all over again without question, but I hadn’t planned on falling in love.
I hadn’t accounted for aching every time Kalos loses himself to the fugue, or the way my heart thrills when he smiles up at me.
If I had, I’d have never made the deal with Lachesis to bring me to the Afterlife on my home plane. I’d stay here with him forever, but my thread remains anchored to my world. There’s no undoing anything.
“My brother,” Kalos says in a slow, thoughtful tone.
“What about him? Do you think he’s coming? Is that why they want you alive?”
He lifts his head, meeting my gaze. “It’s not him.
He’s already returned to his plane. But he’s the lord of death.
” His arms tighten around me. “I can debase myself to him, demand that he release you to me after we’ve been parted.
I’ll deal with him, find something he wants or needs.
I don’t care if I owe him my throne, if it means I get you at my side. ”
Oh god. I can’t tell him about my deal with Lachesis. Not now. I give him a small smile. “Can we hold off on thinking about my death?”
He swears. “I’m an arse, Elsie. Of course.” Determination makes his eyes narrow, and for a moment, he looks cold and hard and unholy. “Just know that I don’t intend on letting you go.”
“I believe you.”
“Because you believe in everyone,” he says with a wry smile.
“Not everyone. Just you.”
Kalos groans and buries his face in my lap again. “You make me want to dive between your thighs and lick you for the next thousand years, but I’ll restrain myself. I need to have my wits about me when my other Aspect arrives.”
A chill goes up my spine. Another Aspect.
We’ve avoided the other two and so I haven’t had to see this other doppelganger of the man I love, one with no attachment to me in the slightest. It throws me off just thinking about it.
What’s going to happen if Kalos re-combines with his other aspects and finds he no longer feels as intensely for me as he did when he was only Apathy?
Then again, does it matter? I’m going to be dead and floating off to Heaven, or Nirvana, or Purgatory, or wherever souls go on my side when they die.
The realization that my death might be hours away fills me with fear. “Just so you know, I want to fight until the bitter end. Even if we’re outmatched and it’s hopeless, I’m going to club a few people with my water pitcher. I just can’t roll over and die.”
“I would never ask you to.” When he looks up at me, his expression is fierce. “They’re afraid of him. No one is more feared than Kalos, the Vulture God. Not even my brother’s visage is as hated as mine. We have an advantage, though. They’ll fear him, but no one fears Apathy.”
A pause.
The look on his face becomes terrifying. “And that’s where they’re wrong.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Protect you.” His fingers twist into my skirt, as if he needs to hold me ever closer.
I’m suddenly afraid for the others. They don’t know who they’re messing with.