Chapter 1
CHAPTER 1
A cellist played Vivaldi’s “The Four Seasons” as Sierra Knight’s bridesmaids, her maid of honor, and the flower girl made their way down the aisle in a large church located in the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
Sierra couldn’t see the procession but she’d been at the rehearsal, and she knew what was happening in the sanctuary of the church. From behind closed doors, where she stood with her oldest brother, Ethan, the deep strains of the string instrument reverberated around her, her heart beating hard and fast in her chest.
She smoothed a hand down her fit-and-flair style wedding gown with lace and beading that she’d loved the moment she’d slid it on. The cathedral-length veil in tulle was matched by the long train flowing behind her. She’d never felt more beautiful… or more nervous.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Ethan asked, obviously reading her nerves as he put a hand on her trembling arm. “The car’s out front, the engine’s running,” he said, half joking, but she heard the serious note in his voice.
As her oldest brother, he was the father figure she’d always needed since their own parent never lived up to the role. Although Alexander Knight was sitting in one of the pews up front with wife number four, he wasn’t the man Sierra wanted walking her down the aisle. He hadn’t earned that honor nor had he seemed insulted that he hadn’t been asked to play the traditional role.
She thought about Ethan’s question, swallowed hard, and nodded. “Jason is a great guy,” she said, meaning every word.
She’d been with Jason Armstrong, a lawyer, for over a year and she knew him well. They’d met through friends and begun dating soon after. He had a calming presence and he catered to her every desire. He was a kind, decent man.
“I know I’ll have a good life with him,” she reassured her brother, glancing at his strong jaw, which he’d set as he narrowed his gaze.
“I married a woman I thought I knew,” Ethan said, digging into his own pain to make sure Sierra was okay. “Mandy wasn’t who I believed she was. I just want you to be sure you want to marry him.”
Ethan had recently lost his wife to an accidental drug overdose, then gone on to find out she’d been having an affair and stealing from the family company to subsidize her drug addiction. He was not only grieving, he was coming to terms with the betrayal.
But his words now were coming from an honest and good place, one of love. “Don’t get me wrong,” he continued. “I like Jason. We all do,” he said, referring to her two other brothers, Parker and Sebastian. “But are you passionately in love with him?”
She did her best not to blush at the question asked by her brother. He pushed the point, forcing Sierra to wonder if Ethan saw something in her relationship she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge.
But she shook her head, ignoring the sudden burning behind her eyes. “Not everyone gets passion, Ethan. It’s fine,” she said softly. “I’ll be fine.” So why did she have a case of anxiety? Why was her chest weighty and heavy?
The music transitioned from Vivaldi to the more traditional “Here Comes the Bride,” and Sierra drew a steadying breath.
It was time.
The heavy wooden doors were opened, and beyond her veil, she faced the room full of family and friends who stood as one, the sounds of them shifting positions echoing in the large room.
With Ethan by her side, she began the long walk down the aisle, taking her time as she’d been instructed at rehearsal. She looked at the familiar faces around her, some of whom she worked with at Knight Time Technology, where she was head of the Social Media Division, some who were extended family, others friends from high school and college.
As she approached the front rows, her gaze landed on the one man she shouldn’t think about today.
Ryder Hammond.
Her brother Sebastian’s best friend.
Her high school boyfriend.
Her first love.
She swallowed over the sudden lump in her throat, unable not to compare his rugged good looks to the man waiting for her at the end of the aisle. Jason, lean and handsome in his tuxedo, his blond hair neatly trimmed, his face perfectly shaved, his gaze patiently on hers.
Then there was Ryder. His jet-black hair was too long to be considered neat, but it suited his sexy features, as did the stubble he hadn’t shaved on his face. His suit jacket fit him perfectly, accentuating muscles he’d achieved by working in construction when, at this point in his career, he could sit behind a desk if he chose. He liked to build with his hands. Hands she was intimately familiar with, and at the thought, her nipples tightened beneath her dress.
His green eyes locked on hers, a wave of what looked like longing flashing in his gaze. She could once read every emotion on his face, but she didn’t know now whether it was her mind conjuring what she wanted to see or whether desire was, in fact, what he was thinking and feeling now. They both knew that a big wedding had once been their dream. Or at least it had been the fantasy she’d woven for them both and he’d let her.
A small tremor rippled through her at the thought, the memory of them lying under the big tree in her backyard as she detailed her idea of a perfect day. Sierra and Ryder, she’d thought, had been meant to be. Until he’d broken up with her and ripped her heart to shreds at the same time.
Ethan paused at the slight shudder that overtook her. “Are you sure?” he whispered, so low only she could hear.
“I have to be,” she replied just as softly.
With a half shake of his head, he continued their path to Jason. The man she was marrying.
Another few steps and Ethan paused at the end of the aisle, lifted her veil, and kissed her cheek. “Be happy,” he whispered. “I love you.”
And then he handed her off to her groom.
She met Jason’s gaze and took his hand, smiling, her nerves settling down as they took their places. He was solid and secure, everything she needed and wanted in her life. Her father had given her a revolving door of so-called mother figures who wanted nothing to do with her as she grew up. He hadn’t had any more time for her than they had. And so she’d dreamed of marrying one man and living the happily ever after that had eluded her father after her mom passed away.
She pushed useless thoughts of the past aside. She had no reason to question her decision to marry Jason, who offered her exactly what she craved. It had just been last-minute jitters that had hit her before, Ryder merely a reminder of adolescent daydreams.
Her thoughts were normal for any bride, she thought, as the priest began to speak. Jason held her hand and she looked into his eyes, the ceremony going on as planned, as the words were spoken around them.
“If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”
Sierra’s gaze shot to the priest in annoyance. She’d specifically asked for that line to be omitted, along with anything else that was sexist, such as her obeying her groom.
She blew out a harsh breath, realizing the priest was still waiting, glancing around the room.
It was as if an invisible pull had her looking away from Jason, turning, her gaze locking with Ryder’s.
What happened next occurred in slow motion.
“I do,” Ryder said, rising to his feet.
He did not just say that, she thought, panic setting in, her stare still joined with his.
“What the hell?” Jason asked, sounding pissed off.
“Sir?” the priest asked, clearly taken off guard. After all, how many times did an actual objection occur except on TV?
“I object,” Ryder said, loud and clear.
People pointed and whispered.
“Fuck,” Sebastian said from his place beside her brothers and Matthew, Jason’s best man.
Suddenly chaos erupted around them. Ryder started forward at the same time Jason lunged toward him. His best man grabbed him, holding him back from going after Ryder, whose sister, Skye, one of Sierra’s bridesmaids, ran for her brother.
“Calm down,” she heard Matthew say.
Sebastian, she noted, went directly for Ryder, stopping him from getting near her as he spoke to him. Sebastian’s wife, Ashley, came up beside him.
“Honey, are you okay?” Maggie, her bridesmaid and wedding planner, grasped her hand.
She turned to her friend, who looked beautiful in the deep purple dress Sierra had chosen. “I don’t know,” she said. And she didn’t.
What had Ryder been thinking, objecting at her wedding?
“Oh, shit. Lena’s diving into the flowers!” Rayna, her maid of honor and best friend since high school, cried, causing Maggie to leave Sierra’s side and help their friend run for the little girl, who, unattended, was pulling petals from the floral arrangements.
“Someone call an ambulance! Candy’s feeling faint!” Sierra’s father’s voice boomed through the church.
A glance told Sierra that her stepmother, an attention-seeking whore who’d worn white to the wedding, something Sierra knew because they’d stopped by the bridal room to see her, was fanning herself and causing her own scene.
“Go,” Sierra said to Joy, her final bridesmaid, who was standing around wringing her hands. “Call 911 for my dad.”
Sierra looked to Ryder again, who was deep in conversation with Sebastian, Parker, and Ethan, who, if Ryder was lucky, wouldn’t beat him to a pulp for humiliating her this way. Suddenly he glanced up and met her gaze, those green eyes looking into her soul. He’d once known her better than anyone.
She’d even dreamed of walking down the aisle to him, and her stomach twisted with an unexpected pang of regret. She stared into his handsome face, his eyes never leaving hers, and a shock of longing slid through her.
Shaken, she tore her gaze from his and headed directly for Jason, stopping in front of him.
His face was red from anger, his best man still had a hand on his shoulder, and his sister was standing beside him.
“What’s going on?” Ethan came to her side and faced Jason, wrapping an arm around Sierra.
“Jason, we can continue where we left off,” she said, meeting his gaze.
His face contorted with hurt. “Seriously? Do you think I didn’t notice you looking at him when you were walking down the aisle to me?” he yelled, outraged, startling Sierra with his outburst.
“Wait, what?” He was angry with her?
Her brother’s supportive hold on her tightened.
“The priest asked if anyone objected, and you turned around and fucking looked at him.” She’d never seen Jason this furious.
But, oh God, she had turned and looked at Ryder. But she hadn’t wanted to end the ceremony. Yes, she’d thought about Ryder briefly as she’d walked down the aisle. She’d had a moment when she remembered the past, but she’d headed toward her future. Toward him.
Ryder showed up just then, facing Jason.
“It’s him.” Jason pointed, shoving his finger into Ryder’s chest. “It’s always been fucking him. At every family function, always around. You wanted him to interrupt the wedding,” he said, accusing her of being at fault.
Ryder appeared about to grab Jason’s finger when Sebastian pulled him back. “Don’t,” her brother muttered.
Sierra blinked, tears in her eyes. This couldn’t be happening. Her life was falling apart and she had no way to stop it.
Oh, shit. What the fuck did I just do?
Ryder Hammond stared into the eyes of his best friend, who appeared ready to murder him. Next to Sebastian were his two brothers, looking equally furious, and Ryder knew he was in deep shit.
Had he really just objected at Sierra’s wedding?
He began to sweat beneath his suit. But he’d done it, the words had spilled forth, and now he had to dissect why. Ignoring the swearing men beside him, Ryder thought about the moment the big wooden double doors had opened and he’d seen Sierra in her wedding gown.
Her long light brown hair tumbled over her shoulders in perfect curls, her curves showing in her fitted dress, her cleavage just appropriately peeking out from the dipped neckline. Her gorgeous face had glowed as she walked down the aisle to another man.
He’d come today because, as a close family friend, he’d been invited. Because he thought he’d made his peace with the way things had ended between them. And for closure. Once she was married, she’d be lost to him forever. And that was the thought that had run through his head at the moment the priest asked if anyone objected.
He hadn’t planned to open his mouth.
He hadn’t meant to ruin her wedding.
He had intended to watch her be given away to another man and, dammit, be okay with it.
But he wasn’t.
So here they were.
He glanced at her brothers, Sebastian, his closest friend, and Parker, because Ethan had gone after his sister. “I have to talk to her.”
“No fucking way,” Sebastian said, one palm on his chest, blocking him from moving forward.
“If I knew you’d planned this shit, I never would have let you in the door,” said Parker.
Ryder held up both hands. “It wasn’t planned. The words just came out of my mouth. But now that I said them, I need to speak with your sister.” He shoved past the brothers and headed directly for Sierra, who stood talking to the man she was supposed to marry.
His gaze locked with hers but Jason wasn’t having it.
“It’s him.” He pointed, shoving his finger into Ryder’s chest. “It’s always been fucking him. At every family function, always around.” Jason turned to Sierra. “You wanted him to interrupt the wedding.” He was clearly furious.
Ryder would be fucking livid if the situation had been reversed, and he had a moment’s pity for the man, already opting not to grab his finger and break it when Sebastian pulled him back.
He didn’t need Sebastian’s muttered word, “Don’t,” to tell him to behave.
“I’m out of here,” Jason, the groom, muttered.
“What?” Sierra cried, stricken, and the sound went straight to Ryder’s gut.
“You don’t want to marry me or this whole mess would have ended up differently,” Jason said, turning and storming out, his best man and sister rushing after him.
Tears streamed down Sierra’s face as she glared at Ryder. “How could you?”
“Come on,” Sebastian said, his hand on Ryder’s shoulder. “Let’s go somewhere and talk.”
Ryder shook his head, determined to talk to Sierra.
“Don’t do this unless your intentions are fucking good,” Sebastian muttered.
Ryder glanced at Sierra, who looked distraught and upset, causing his stomach to churn with the knowledge that he’d caused her pain. That had never been his intent, if he’d had any intention at all.
But he shook his head. He wasn’t finished here. “I need to talk to you,” he said, glancing only at her.
“You don’t have to say anything to him.” Ethan had his arm around her, holding her upright.
Her eyes were narrowed, her lips pursed. He remembered that look, one that would often end up with them in a heated kiss or resulting in hot and heavy angry sex. She was pissed as hell. But she wasn’t storming away.
He extended his hand toward her, needing the moment alone.
Sierra stared at him and he looked back, their gazes locked in a way only they could understand.
“Five minutes,” she muttered.
Glaring, she ignored his outstretched hand and stormed past him, her gown with the long train trailing behind her as she headed for the dressing room.
Despite her anger, she was willing to talk, which told him one thing.
There was still something between them.
Something, he could work with, he thought, and followed her out.
The moment he joined her in the small room, Sierra spun to glare at him. “How could you do this to me?” she asked, face flushed, eyes wide and glassy, makeup stains on her cheeks. She was beautiful despite her tears.
He shoved his hands into his front pants pockets. Meeting her gaze, he opted for the truth. “It wasn’t planned.”
“Oh, that makes it better,” she muttered. “You ruined my wedding on a whim.”
He ran a hand over his face, knowing that despite the blurted-out objection, the feelings behind it were real. “The priest’s words were a wakeup call,” he said.
She blinked at his comment. “For who?” she asked. “You made your choice years ago and it wasn’t me.”
He winced at the reminder of all he’d thrown away, no matter that he’d made the decision for all the right reasons. But he didn’t have time to dwell on the past now.
She turned to head back inside the church and panic struck him. He knew if she walked away, it would be for the last time.
“Sierra, wait.”
She glanced over her shoulder and he knew he had mere seconds to convince her not to leave.
“Do you really want to go back into that room with all the chaos and insanity waiting for you?” he asked. “Your stepmother is splayed out on the floor, moaning and waiting for paramedics to tell her she’s fine. The flower girl is having a meltdown. Your brothers are plotting to kill me, and you have a room full of people in there who expected a wedding.”
She shuddered at the reminders. “Then I want to go home.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Where your bags are packed and your things are in boxes so you can move in with the same groom who just abandoned you instead of fighting for you?”
Tears filled her eyes as she met his gaze. “I hate you.”
His chest squeezed at her blurted-out words. “No, you don’t, but I understand why you want to think you do.”
She glared at him. “So what are you suggesting?”
“Let me get you out of here. Give everyone a chance to calm down and think. Let cooler heads prevail.”
She glanced toward the sanctuary, where the sounds of chaos still carried to them.
“Come on.” He held out a hand, and this time she placed her palm in his, the warmth and electrical connection between them instantaneous despite the wary expression on her face and the emotional walls between them.
Before her brothers could burst into the room, he led her outside and toward his car, helping her climb in and tucking her dress inside before shutting the door.
He had her where he wanted her. He just didn’t know what he was going to do next.
With no destination in mind, Ryder drove them over the George Washington Bridge and out of New York City. Beside him, Sierra sat, her dress fluffed around her, staring out the window, not saying a word.
Except to hand her his phone and tell her to text her brothers and let them know she was okay, he left her alone, hoping she wasn’t stewing and building up a case of righteous anger against him. He wanted the chance later for them to really talk.
He was surprised when, after about half an hour, she fell asleep, leaving him to his own thoughts and self-recriminations, and he had many, not all revolving around his actions at the wedding.
He glanced over, taking in her delicate profile, noticing the freckles on her nose, remembering how he’d pretend to count them, one by one. He swallowed a groan, not wanting to wake her up, but asking himself, how the hell had they gotten to this point?
He gripped the wheel tighter, the past coming back to him. As Sebastian’s best friend, he’d been around the Knight house all the time when they were growing up. Two years apart, he couldn’t help but notice as Sierra matured into a gorgeous woman. He’d been attracted to her and knew better than to screw around when it came to his best friend’s sister, but when they finally did get together, it was in a relationship.
And her brothers, knowing him as they did, had actually approved of them as a couple. They’d trusted Ryder to do right by her. Crazily enough, knowing that had played into the decisions he’d made.
Although his family wasn’t as wealthy as Sebastian’s, his dad had done well until a market crash hit and his business took a dive. He should have gone away to school, but his dad had had a heart attack before he could leave and Ryder had stayed home to help run the family business with his older brother, Andrew. His father had developed a weak heart, resulting in many hospital trips over the years, and Ryder had never regretted his decision.
At his older sibling’s urging, Ryder had gone to school at night, earning his undergraduate and master’s degrees, but during the day, he’d worked overseeing the day-to-day construction side of the business while his brother handled the office management part of the company.
And during the summer before Sierra’s senior year, they’d first gotten together. As the school year began, she’d applied to college, always planning to go to school away from home. Even before they’d been a couple, she’d talked about how eager she’d been to finally get away and have independence without three older brothers watching over her. But their romance had taken a turn neither had expected, getting hot and heavy quickly.
He’d fallen hard and fast for the girl with the beautiful face and the big heart. They’d both lost their moms at a young age, hers to cancer, his to a freak car accident, and they’d had that loss in common. Because her family had money, which included having a housekeeper and a cook, there was always food left over after dinner. And she’d insisted on bringing meals to his dad when he came home from one of his frequent hospital trips.
Before Ryder knew it, they’d found themselves making plans for the future. She’d detailed the wedding of her dreams and he hadn’t freaked that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. He’d wanted the same thing. There’d been something deep and meaningful between them from the beginning that had only grown over time.
Except that Sierra had started to talk about staying home and attending a local college instead of going away and being exposed to all the things she’d wanted before they’d gotten together—college, independence, life, and yes, dammit, other guys. She needed to experience more before she committed to him. She needed to be certain of what she wanted, and as a senior in high school, she couldn’t possibly know what was best for her.
Ryder never wanted her to resent him for holding her back, so he’d broken up with her so she could live her original dreams, crushing his own heart in the process.
Knowing he’d lost her for good, he’d gone on with his life, and though that had included being with other women, none had ever come close to making him feel what she had. Over the years, he’d watched her date other men, knowing he’d lost his chance, that she still harbored anger and resentment despite putting up with him for Sebastian’s sake. When she’d ended up engaged, he’d known it really was over for them. No someday in their future. Until he’d opened his mouth at the wedding.
He glanced up, realizing he’d been driving for over an hour. He was on Route 80 in New Jersey, signs for the Delaware Water Gap and the Poconos ahead of him.
Shit.
He glanced over to the passenger side of the car. Sierra was still asleep. She was going to fucking kill him when she realized where they’d ended up, but what the hell.
He only had one chance to win her back, and he couldn’t do it in the city with her surrounded by her brothers and friends. Instead he was headed another thirty minutes away to a mountain resort that he was pretty sure was the cheesiest honeymoon capital of the northeast. A place that advertised heart-shaped bathtubs and themed rooms.
A place where they could be alone.