Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
Ryder kissed her, not caring about their awkward angle, taking in her sweet taste and wanting more. He needed to touch her, so he cupped his hand around her neck, then glided his fingers over her collarbone, feeling her delicate body beneath his hands. With a groan, he continued his exploration, dipping his fingers along the neckline of her bathing suit top, the pads grazing the swell of her breasts.
She shivered and her nipples puckered into tight buds, making his mouth water. He shifted her so she was lying on her side instead of straight out in front of him, giving him easier access to slide his hand where he wanted. And what he wanted was to touch every inch of her he could on his path down to her pussy.
He moved his hand, ignoring her breasts, another destination in mind. He splayed his hand across her stomach and she moaned, obviously enjoying it.
Mine , he thought.
Not wanting to freak her out completely, he kept the feeling to himself. When he’d gone to the church yesterday, he’d had no idea he’d be here with her today, trying to cement his place in her life. But with his hand possessively on her belly, he had a vision of her pregnant with his child. He swayed, suddenly dizzy, in shock at the course his thoughts had taken. But with everything inside him, it felt right.
She felt right, not just to the touch but to the emotions swirling inside him.
“Ryder?” she murmured. “Is everything okay?”
He glanced down at her, taking in the freckles on her nose, and grinned. “Couldn’t be better. I just like the feel of you beneath my hand.”
“Mmm,” she said, closing her eyes. “I like it, too.”
He shifted his stare to his tanned hand against her paler stomach and swallowed back a groan.
With her pleasure as his sole focus, he slipped his fingers beneath her bathing suit and she jumped in surprise.
“Shh. Let me play.” Her sex was bare, which turned him the fuck on. He ran his fingers over her pubic bone and lower still, finding her pussy wet for him.
Her eyes flew open, her gaze coming to his, a hazy sheen covering the blue, as desire took hold. “We’re outside,” she said in a husky voice.
“And at a couples resort and nobody is anywhere near us,” he reassured her.
Using two fingers, he slid her juices over her sex, keeping his touch away from where she needed him most. He teased her, arousing her until her hips were rotating in circles, gyrating, low moans coming from deep in her throat.
“Ryder, make me come.” She begged him, both in words and with her body’s reaction to his fingers, which dipped and played around and around.
Still not touching her clit, he slid one finger inside her and she gasped as he filled her. “Feel good, sweetheart?”
“Oh God. Good but not enough to get me over.” She arched her back in silent supplication.
He wiggled her bottoms lower on her thighs so he could pump his finger in and out of her body, her inner walls clasping him in tight, wet heat. His dick was so hard he thought he might come from giving her an orgasm alone.
As he worked her with his finger, he finally gave her what she needed, circling his thumb over the tiny, hard nub that was practically begging for his attention. And if they weren’t outside, as she’d pointed out, he’d lift her hips to his face and suck on her until she came. Saving that for later, when they were alone in bed, he pressed hard against her clit, his finger shifting inside her, pressing on her spongy inner walls.
She stiffened at the sudden pressure and began rocking against his hand. “Oh, oh, God, Ryder, I’m coming.”
He didn’t stop, keeping up both movements as she flew, his gaze on her beautiful face the entire time.
And as she climaxed, her body shook, trembled, grasping his finger, the sight a gorgeous one to behold.
She collapsed onto the blanket, her breath shallow, a fine sheen of sweat glistening on her skin.
“I died and went to heaven,” she muttered, pushing herself to a sitting position and glancing directly at his lap, where his cock was hard and evident against his bathing suit shorts.
“What about you?”
“Nothing we can do about it out here. Talk to me about something else. Anything else to distract me.”
“Umm–” She obviously searched for something to discuss, but she didn’t tear her stare from his erection.
“And stop looking at my cock,” he told her. “Or we are going to give those people on the far side of the lake a show.”
Her eyes opened wide and she leaned over, opened the picnic basket, and took out food. “Let’s eat,” she said, her cheeks flushed as she handed him what looked like a chicken sandwich.
He shook his head and laughed. “Can’t say I’m hungry for food but yeah. Let’s eat.”
They chowed down on the contents of the basket, Ryder discovering he was starving after all. Sierra talked about her job, how she was thinking of expanding her social media services to companies beyond Knight Time Technology because she had the time. She even discussed opening her own business so she could work part time from home.
They talked about how his father’s business had grown since he’d retired. Ryder and his brother, Andrew, had grown the construction business, expanding into luxury homes. The kind of home he’d like them to live in together one day.
He found himself thinking about the future and things they’d once talked about a long time ago.
“Do you still want a dog?” he asked.
“I do. But working from the office and living in an apartment makes getting one difficult. And besides, I don’t want a smaller one. No matter how cute, I’m afraid they’ll be loud and yappy.”
He grinned. Yet another thing they were on the same page about. He’d love nothing more than a big-ass dog like a Newfoundland or a St. Bernard hanging around the house he’d already built and lived in alone.
Assuming he got the girl.
“What about you?” she asked. “Still want a huge dog?”
“I do.” He met her gaze, his voice serious as he said, “I want it all. The family, kids, dog, wife, house… everything we dreamed of.”
Her eyes opened wide and a visible tremor shook her. “It’s getting late. We should get back,” she murmured and started to pack up their picnic.
He told himself not to be discouraged by her reaction, that she had a lot going on her mind and more going on in her personal life that had to be dealt with than he did.
Ryder didn’t believe in love at first sight, and in no way was that what they’d experienced. They’d built a relationship, piece by piece, despite the fact that they’d been young and inexperienced in life and love. He was close to her siblings, they shared a love of family, and had wanted the same things out of life. He’d loved everything about her, from her generous personality to the way she’d naturally given him what he needed emotionally, making it easy to return the same.
He’d loved her then. He loved her now and he didn’t want to lose her again.
With a muttered curse at the way she’d closed down emotionally, he loaded the golf cart up again.
They drove back to the resort and returned the items. He took heart in the fact that she let him hold her hand as they walked back to their room, and when they stepped inside, he was surprised by what awaited them.
The suite had been cleaned and the shades pulled down. Fake candles were lit around the living room and along the stairs leading up to the hot tub. A champagne bucket sat by a large cheese-and-cracker platter on the table. Rose petals lined the floor leading to the bedroom, where white washcloth swans had been created and sat, intertwined, on the red bed.
“Wow, this is incredible,” Sierra said, happiness in her tone as she glanced around. “And the hot tub looks inviting,” she murmured.
“Does it?” he asked, imagining them inside it.
“It does.” With a twinkle in her gaze, she pulled her dress off and immediately removed her bathing suit. Next, she slid off her flip-flops. Then she turned and walked toward the stairs, giving him an amazing view of her from behind.
He adjusted himself, squeezing his cock tight in warning to behave. It wasn’t time. Yet.
Glancing over her shoulder, she crooked her finger at him. “Aren’t you going to join me?”
She didn’t have to ask twice. He dropped his shorts, removed his shirt, kicked off his flip-flops, and followed her up.
When he joined her in the hot tub, she was playful and eager, kissing him as she grasped his shoulders and lowered herself onto his eager cock.
Whatever was going on with her emotions, sexually she was all in, and they spent the rest of the late afternoon together in the Jacuzzi and the later part of the evening and night enjoying the luxuries provided by the hotel.
The only drawback to the entire day was the emotional separation he knew was between them. He wished he was privy to what she was thinking, where her head was when it came to them and the future.
But she was keeping her feelings close, and his gut told him it wasn’t the right time to ask.
Sierra woke up the next morning to an orgasm building inside her that wasn’t a dream. One thing she’d learned about Ryder as a man, he was a generous lover, always giving to her, not caring if he received in return. Of course, she always tried, but he was demanding, wanting to come inside “his” pussy, as he’d declared her private parts last night.
He loved oral sex, which in turn had, in two short days, taught her to love oral. He hadn’t yet let himself finish in her mouth, but he thoroughly enjoyed what she did to him before he slammed inside her and made her come so hard she saw stars.
No one could say they weren’t sexually compatible, she thought, as his mouth worked on her now. She arched her back, and unable not to, she ground herself against him as his tongue slid in and out of her sex, his teeth alternately grazing her clit.
Her climax, when it hit, was as explosive as usual with Ryder, sending her soaring. And when she came back down to earth, it was to the sight of him rubbing his mouth on her thigh with a grin.
“Good morning, sweetheart.”
“Good morning.” She smiled back, but neither the incredible orgasm nor his easy, sexy smile could prevent the unwelcome anxiety that balled in the pit of her stomach. Because it was the morning of their second day.
The end of their retreat.
Time to return to reality and everything that waited for her. She had to face the people she’d left behind when she’d willingly run away from her wedding with the man who wasn’t her groom.
“Talk to me,” Ryder said as he slid up beside her and pulled her into his arms. “I saw the minute your mind turned back on.”
She rubbed her eyes, which had stupid tears forming. “It’s time to go home.”
“It is.” His jaw pulled tight. “But that doesn’t have to mean the end of us.” He threaded their fingers together in a show of unity she wasn’t sure she could reciprocate. “I understand that just two days ago you were engaged to another man.” He paused, then said, “But he let you go.”
“He did. But that doesn’t mean I’m–”
“I love you, Sierra.”
The words she hadn’t heard in years seemed to echo around her. Words she’d come to believe were a lie because, if he’d loved her, he wouldn’t have left her.
“I have always loved you,” Ryder went on, not waiting for her to reply. “I just shoved the feelings away so you could go on with your life. The time wasn’t right then but it can be now.”
She glanced at their entwined hands. “Do you have any idea how much you hurt me back then?”
His silence told her that he did. Or at least, now he knew.
“You took all my hopes and dreams and crushed them because you decided you knew what was best for me. That just because I once wanted to go away to college, I couldn’t change my mind. You didn’t trust in me, the things I told you I wanted, the hopes and dreams I spun for us… You let them all go.”
“I–”
“I’m not finished,” she said, staring at the blank television screen across from the bed, not looking at him as she let all the feelings of the past spill forth. “You let me think you didn’t love me anymore, and I know you dated other women after me. Of course you did.” The pain of that sliced through her as if it were fresh and new.
“None were you,” he said so low she had to lean close to hear.
So close she smelled his natural scent and wanted to burrow into his embrace. But she couldn’t because that would be cowardly.
Dealing with her life, then being alone were both brave and necessary. “I need to go home, Ryder. I need to talk to Jason. We need closure.”
“I don’t like it,” he muttered.
She didn’t laugh at his petulant tone. “You don’t have to. That’s just the way it is. And I need time to think.” About them, she thought, letting the words go unsaid.
“I said I don’t like it but I didn’t say I don’t understand it.” He sat up, jarring her because she’d been leaning against him.
The next thing she knew, she was on her back on the mattress and he was looming over her, his hands on either side of her shoulders, his big body warm and tempting above her. Those beautiful green eyes stared into hers, and she saw the truth in their depths. He loved her now. And she was very much afraid she loved him, too.
But she wasn’t ready. Just because she was suddenly single didn’t mean she could make decisions about another relationship or commitments to a man who’d once pushed her away.
“Ryder–”
He shook his head. “No more talking. I’m going to take you home and give you what you say you need. But I’m going to give you one last thing to remember me by before you go,” he said before his lips descended on hers.
Her hands came to his head, sifting through the silken strands, holding him tight as he kissed her. Wanting him with every fiber of her being.
Unlike many of their moments together here, this wasn’t the frenzied, hot and heavy sex she’d gotten used to. The kind with the fire that burned out of control. This was slow and sensual. As if he wanted her to feel every glide of his lips, every stroke of his tongue, and memorize the sensations.
She knew she’d never forget. He was gentle as he made love to her mouth, slowly relearning all the spots inside that were made just for him. He kissed her like that for what felt like hours, reminding her of the times when they were younger. When they knew they couldn’t go further but they could kiss and make out and he could grind himself against her, and it was hotter than the sexual act itself.
His thick erection slid over and over her sex, gliding against her clit, rocking her ever so slowly to orgasm. She’d forgotten what these kinds of make-out sessions were like. The sweet intensity. The deep kisses. Hands moving everywhere. And hips rotating over and over until the heavy waves came at her almost out of nowhere, then consumed her.
“Oh God, coming, coming, I’m coming,” she whispered on a ragged moan, the hard press of his cock thrusting against her sex.
Only when she’d succumbed to her last tremble did Ryder speak. “Eyes on me, sweetheart.”
She hadn’t realized she’d closed them. Forcing her heavy lids open, she met his gaze.
Desire flashed in the depths of his eyes. “I want you to know who’s making love to you,” he said as he notched himself at her entrance, then slowly, deliberately thrust in deep.
Her eyes opened wider as he took her completely, filling her up, both her body and her heart. Damn him, she thought, tears threatening. She didn’t want to cry at how good they were together. She couldn’t do that and leave.
But she was going to leave him. She had to figure things out alone.
“Stop thinking.” Arms braced on either side of her shoulders, he raised his hips, and she shuddered, aware of every inch of his velvety length as he pulled out of her, then shoved back in. “Feel us, Sierra.”
She couldn’t do anything but feel as he thrust in and out, over and over. But before she could even start to build toward a climax, he stopped and pushed himself to a sitting position, taking him with her.
“What are you doing?”
“Making you feel.”
And then they were rocking together, face to face, eye to eye as he hit her clit with every roll of his hips against hers. It was sweet and emotional, the waves building as he made love to her, slowly and deliberately taking them both up and over.
And when she came, his hands were in her hair, pulling her into him, sealing his lips over hers as the pulsing of his erection and the low, satisfied groan told her he came, too.
They came together.
The ride home was silent. Ryder left Sierra alone with her thoughts, knowing his words had already come from the heart and his actions had left her with no lingering doubt about how he felt. He loved her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
But she’d made her feelings clear, too. She needed time. So they had packed their wedding clothes and extra resort wear, pulling things together and using extra laundry bags from the hotel to put their resort clothing in. He’d tossed everything into the trunk and off they went.
He drove her to the apartment building where she and her brothers resided. The place itself was owned by Knight Time Technology and all the siblings lived in separate apartments in the building. Sebastian with his wife, Ashley, Ethan, alone now that Mandy was gone, and Parker.
Sierra, he knew, had packed her things to officially move in with Jason after they returned from their honeymoon. She was going home to big boxes and everything unsettled.
He hated it.
He wanted to be there to make things easier for her, but she’d insisted that she was going home alone. That they weren’t returning as a couple.
Fine.
He could accept what she wanted for now, but that didn’t mean he was leaving her to deal with the shit storm he’d caused and she’d left behind.
For tonight, he walked her up to her door, making sure she got home safely, and kissed her good night—a long, lingering, sizzling kiss that hopefully would keep her tossing and turning all night long.
Then he went home alone to think.
And to plan.
Sierra stared at the taped-up boxes that filled her living room and wanted to cry at the sight. When she’d packed them up, she’d been excited to start her new life. Now she had to undo it all.
Sunlight streamed through the window in the living room, casting a glow directly on the wrapped packages, the gifts from the wedding. Her stomach churned at the sight. Obviously her brothers had decided this was the best place to leave them. Somehow she’d have to return them all. Make sure everyone who’d given her a gift got a refund.
She ran a hand over her eyes, wishing she had her Keurig, but that was packed in a box, along with her coffee pods, sugar, and cups. What she needed was a Starbucks run before tackling anything here, including letting her brothers know she was home.
She grabbed her purse and started for the door when she heard a knock. Oh, no. Ryder must have spoken to Sebastian already, and instead of going to work, he was here to…
What? Lecture her? Hug her?
She swung the door open wide, speaking as she did. “Sebastian, I was going to call— Ryder. What are you doing here?”
He stood at her door wearing a pair of aviator glasses that looked sexy on his face, a backwards ball cap that reminded her of their day on the lake at the Poconos, and food. But she hadn’t expected to see him again… well, not until she was ready.
“I come bearing sustenance.” He held out a Starbucks bag. “Venti vanilla latte with three extra pumps of syrup and a pumpkin loaf.” He dangled the bag as a peace offering.
She narrowed her gaze. “How do you know my order?” Or at least the order she would use on a day she was feeling particularly down.
He shrugged. “I asked your brother.”
So he had spoken to Sebastian, which meant she was going to have company times three… four if you counted Ashley, very soon. She hadn’t even called her own friends yet, unsure of how to explain what she’d done. It was going to be easier to rationalize why Ryder had interrupted the ceremony than why she’d left with him, she thought, cheeks burning.
Ryder cleared his throat. “Can I come in?”
She stepped aside so he could enter and shut the door behind him, accepting the coffee and bag with the treat. She stepped toward the kitchen and put everything down on the counter.
She turned, realizing he’d followed closely behind. He looked better than she did, his faded jeans and black shirt giving him a sexy appearance, while she wore a clean pair of sweats from the Poconos resort and a T-shirt with a logo on it.
She needed to find the boxes with her clothing. “Why are you here?” she asked again.
“Because you have a lot to do and I want to help you do it.” He spread one arm, gesturing to the other room, where the boxes were piled. “After all, it’s my fault.” He had the good grace to look embarrassed.
She blew out a breath, knowing his coming here was a sweet, thoughtful gesture. “But didn’t I say I needed time?” she asked, trying to be gentle but knowing she had to stand firm.
He folded his arms across his chest, his muscles showing beneath his T-shirt. “I didn’t say I was going to kiss you. Or fuck you. Or make slow, passionate love to you—although that’s all on the table if you just give me the okay.”
Now her cheeks were flaming, she thought, as she spun away. “If you want to help me, then thank you.” She wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Besides, he was right. It was his fault she was in this situation. “All my furniture is still here. I need to cancel the movers for next week,” she muttered. “But we can open boxes and start putting things away… Oh, damn.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“The scissors are packed. I have no way to open the boxes.”
He frowned. “Tell you what. I’ll run to the store and buy scissors so we can get started. You make whatever phone calls you need to make.”
“I don’t have my phone yet.”
Ryder lifted his cap and reset it on his head. “Sebastian said he’d come down this morning, so I’m guessing he’ll bring it.”
Her eyes opened wide. “Can you be gone when he shows up? It’s going to be hard enough to talk to him without you here!”
He shook his head. “I’ll go get the scissors. But get used to having me around helping you. That’s nonnegotiable,” he said, and with a grin, he turned and walked out, leaving her flustered, flabbergasted, and pissed.
She didn’t need his help. He’d caused this mess! But it really was nice of him to acknowledge it and want to fix it. Because he has an agenda! He wants you and this is his way of getting an in!
She really needed to stop arguing with herself, she mused, as the doorbell rang.
“Sebastian.” This time when she opened the door, it was to her brother.
Times three.