Chapter 5
5
ELLA
R efresh.
Refresh.
Refresh .
I wonder if you hit refresh more than a hundred times on a single page if the function stops working after a while? Like if there is some internal chip inside my computer that is saying that the chick that is on this website is going crazy so let’s stop working all together?
Plausible.
But I doubt that this one singular website is out to get me and not refreshing when I’m telling it to. It’s definitely refreshing, it’s just that what I want to appear on the screen isn’t appearing as fast as I want it to.
Or you didn’t get the job.
The stupid thought makes it into my head and it stays there for a solid ten seconds before I shake my head and blow the thought away.
Even though it’s a huge possibility that I didn’t get the job, I’m not going to think negatively until I officially have an answer.
Positive thoughts.
So many damn positive thoughts.
I let out a sigh and try to center myself as best as I can.
It’s been a total of three weeks since the night that I applied for the assistant position at Lane Enterprises.
Because of how well sought out this company is, I had put my application on the back burning and concentrated on checking in with the other fourteen applications I put in that night.
I never thought I was going to hear back, because why would I? I have no experience in this field, they have no reason to call me in for an interview.
That was my mind set for three whole days, but on the fourth day, that mindset changed drastically.
Why? Well, because on the fourth day, I got an email from who ever was in charge of the hiring for the position and offered me an interview.
I think my jaw hit the floor when I saw the notification staring back at me.
Me.
A freshly graduated twenty-five year old with masters in business administration degree in her back pocket, and no corporate experience whatsoever, got an interview at the one company I thought was a fever dream.
Jaw fucking dropped.
I couldn’t believe it.
I still can’t believe it and I’ve already gone through very long interview process that ended three days ago. The fact that I even got an interview blows my mind and my mind continues to be blown as I wait for a response from said interview to come in.
The lady that interviewed me, Linda, said that an email should land in my inbox today letting me know the conclusion of my application process.
I’ve been hitting refresh since five o’clock in the morning, and now two hours later, no said email has arrived.
Refresh .
No new messages.
Fucking perfect. Today is going to be a very long day.
Somewhere in the distance an alarm goes off, and I let my head drop back.
I was so entertained with refreshing my email, that I completely forgot about getting, at the very least, a granola bar ready for my sister.
Great. This job is already a distraction, it’s probably going to be a pain in the ass if I get it.
When .
When I get it, because I will be getting this jobs. Those Lane Enterprises employees will be stupid not to hire me.
You’re stupid for obsessing so much about this job.
I need to shut my mind up from saying stupid shit.
With a groan, I place my laptop on the bed next to me and throw the covers off my body.
Time to get the day started.
As the second alarm of the morning goes off down the hall, I quickly get dressed in a pair of leggings and a t-shirt that probably has been in my closet since middle school, before walking out of the room and heading out to the kitchen.
The second I open up the fridge and see the contents inside, I let out a sigh.
Grocery shopping is going to be at the top of the list for today, because the amount of food that we have is comical.
The same can be said about the amount of money I currently have in my bank account, because now that the major bills are paid, the amount I saw three weeks ago almost feels like damn pennies.
This just keeps getting more depressing and it’s not even eight in the morning yet.
Putting the thoughts of my empty fridge and bank account out of my head, I start making egg sandwiches from the food that we do have.
As I toast the bread and scramble the eggs, I start going through what I need to get done this week and what needs to be paid.
Not only is getting a job at the top of things that need to get done, right next to getting groceries, I also need to call the building super to come out and check the dryer and the shower since both have been out of commission for the past three days. As for bills, rent is cover for this month, but electricity, internet and cellphones are all due Friday.
Just the thought makes my eye twitch.
Looks like I will be doing food delivery, on top of my sixteen hours at the restaurant until I’m able to secure something better. And if I get super desperate, I can always become a dancer or something. Put those two years of barre to good use.
I’m wrapping up the egg sandwiches in foil when I hear footsteps coming down the hall. I look up just in time to see my little sister coming into the kitchen looking like she wants to do anything but go to school.
“You look like you were electrocuted.” I say out loud, not able to take my eyes off her hair. Her naturally wavy, dirty blonde hair look like it’s in desperate need of a brush and a conditioning treatment.
Her clothes are also all wrinkled as if she pulled them out from the deepest pits of her closet.
“My hair straightener decided to crap out not even half way through doing my hair and the clothes I washed yesterday still haven’t dried yet, so I had to go looking for a shirt that wasn’t ripped.”
I guess calling the super just went to the top of the list. And add buy a new straightener to the bottom, because I need it too if I continue to apply for new jobs and get interviews all over the city.
“I’m sorry, Char. I’ll call the super as soon as he gets in. I should have called him sooner to come fix the dryer.”
My sister, who is just sixteen years old, looks up at me with a small smile.
“Don’t apologize. I should be the one that should be saying sorry. I shouldn’t have made it seem like it was your fault. It’s not. You have enough stuff on your plate as it is, you don’t need a whiny teenager telling you how much the dryer sucks ass.”
I throw her a smile and an eye roll.
“You’re not a whiny teenager.”
“That’s not what grandma used to say.”
A part of me breaks when I hear her say that, but I don’t let it show, because if I do, it’s going to make Charlie feel even worse. I don’t have a whole lot of memories when it comes our shared grandmother, I never spent a whole lot of time with her. I do remember that the bit of time I did spend with her, the woman was a bitch in a half. It was as if every single fairytale villain was put into a pot and out came out her. She used to call me names and I only spent a few hours with her, I can’t imagine what she might have told Charlie, who spent years with her. There is no doubt in my mind that that woman spewed hateful things to my little sister and actually meant, probably traumatizing Charlie even more.
I give my sister and eyeroll.
“Yeah, well, that lady didn’t know shit, so I wouldn’t take anything she said to heart.” I should believe what I preach, because there is shit that that woman said that still haunts me at night.
“I’ll do that, when you do the same.” My sister throws back my way as if she could read my mind.
And sometimes I think she can. Especially with everything that the two of us have been through since she was about nine years old.
Charlie and I didn’t have the greatest upbringings. To say it was dull and unadventurous, would be a disservice. Those two things would mean we actually had a childhood, a sad one but still one we would talk about occasionally.
No, the upbringing that we had can only be described as cold and cruel. More so for me, and if Charlie hadn’t come to live with me, she probably would have had the same fate but she didn’t, something that I’m thankful for.
I spent my fair share of my life in foster care and in group homes and Charlie spent eleven years of her life being raised by a pair of individuals that would take their frustration for someone else out on her.
I thank whatever god is up in the heavens for informing me I had a little sister when I was eighteen. I had just left a group home and for some reason decided it was a good idea to reach out to my mother. I didn’t find her, but I did out the fact that she had another baby, one that was being raised by my grandmother. As soon as I found out about Charlie and saw about the situation she was in, I did everything in my power to take her out of there and bring her to come live with me. Some how I was able to convince all parties to give me what I wanted. I was twenty, she was eleven. Bringing Charlie to come live was me is something that I’m still paying for, and possibly always will, but one that I will never regret.
My eyes stay on Charlie for a bit longer than needed as I remember the day I found out about her and how badly I wanted to take her out of the hellhole she didn’t belong in.
She’s here with you now, that is all that matters.
Still, I have to push down the ball of emotions that is forming in my throat and act as if my mind didn’t go into a dark place just because we mentioned our grandmother.
I slide a wrapped egg sandwich over to my sister. “Here. Eat this, so you can get going. You don’t want be late for school.”
I get a nod, but thankfully not a single fight as the egg sandwich gets unwrapped and eaten. Within second, I follow suit and for a few minutes, we eat the four sandwiches in silence.
Charlie is the one to break it.
“Speaking of school,” she starts as if we had spent the last few minutes talking about her classes and not eating. “I got an email this morning.”
At least one of us did.
“What kind of email?” I ask, instead of letting my brain talk for me.
My curiosity is piqued. I’m not the only individual in this room that has been waiting for a very important email to hit her inbox.
“The kind that says that my application to be a student at Saint Christopher Prep Academy has been accepted.”
I don’t know what goes wide first. My eyes or my mouth.
I drop the remainder of my sandwich and look at my sister straight on.
“Like accepted accepted ?” I sound like I’m in disbelief and in a way I am.
We’ve been trying to get Charlie into that school from day one of her coming to live with me. It’s one of the highest rated schools in the city, if not the state and for that very reason the waitlist is a decade long. Charlie’s application was submitted close to a year ago and since she’s in her second year of high school, I for sure thought that we would never see the day where she would get an acceptance or rejection letter.
“Like accepted accepted ,” Charlie lets out, absolutely beaming at her words.
It only takes me two seconds to register what she just said before I’m going over to her side of the counter and we are jumping up and down and screaming and celebrating the fact that she got into one of the most prestigious schools known to man.
“Omigod. Omigod. Omigod !”
So many squeals fill our small kitchen and I’m sure the neighbors could hear us, but we don’t give a shit.
This is big news.
“I just wish that I could accept it though,” Charlie lets out once all the giggling has stopped and I have my arms tightly around her.
Her words have me pulling back and giving her a good look. I’m sure if I were to look in a mirror right now, my eyebrows would be bunched up.
“Why wouldn’t you accept it?” I asks her, trying to find something in her facial expression that will give me an answer. All I see is joy but also sadness.
“Because it’s expensive. We can’t afford to send me there.”
So much dread swims through my body as the words leave my little sister’s mouth.
I’m failing.
Bringing her to come live with me five years ago was so that I can give her a better chance at life. To give her every single opportunity that our grandmother and parents were so determined to take away from her.
But even though I have been giving her a better life, and a decent roof over our head, we are still struggling. We still live paycheck to paycheck, and worry about how we are going to pay rent the next month and how much food we can buy.
I’ve tried to hide our struggles from her, because she doesn’t need to be subjected to that or even worry about it, but I’ve failed in doing it right.
I look into the hazel eyes that we both got from our mother and see sadness flowing through them and it breaks my heart.
She’s right, we can’t afford to send her to Saint Christopher, but I’ll be damned if I don’t give her that opportunity.
I give my sister the most loving look that I can muster.
“Do you want to go?”
Her eyes narrow as if she is trying to figure out where I’m getting at. “Of course I do. You know that.”
“Then you’re going.” I state, matter-of-factly.
“But, Ella.”
“No, buts.” I place my hands on either side of her face. “You are not turning down an opportunity like this.”
She shakes her head. “There’s no way we are going to be able to pay for it.”
“You let me worry about that, okay? You just worry about finishing high school and getting into the best college that you can, and I will worry about the rest.” If I have to take on three to four jobs again to be able to give my sister this then I will. I will not let her life go down the drain just because I don’t have my shit together.
If I don’t hear back about the assistant position at Lane Enterprises, then I will look elsewhere. A few of my friends were talking about how a new club had opened up, I think the name was Perversa, and they were looking for dancers. I can do that.
You are willing to sell your body to make money?
For my sister, I would. For her I would do anything.
But maybe I don’t have to go that far. Schools like Saint Christopher have to have financial aid available or scholarships that Charlie can apply to. That school isn’t for for the richy rich kids.
Once we get Charlie’s enrollment settled, I will look into it.
Tears start to form in my sister’s eyes as she digest what I just said.
“Are you sure? It’s not only tuition, its also uniforms and books and room and board on campus is strongly encouraged at a school like this” Her voice shakes a little, like she wants to be happy but doesn’t can’t find it in herself to do it.
Fuck that.
She should be happy always.
I give her the brightest smile that I could give. “Yes, I’m sure. Send me the email and I will see what we need to get you enrolled. And we will figure out uniform and books and room and board.”
Her arms make it around my neck and she knock all the air out of me.
“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Ella. I promise to do good and get good grades and get a job to pay for everything school related.”
I hug her back just as tightly and shake my head at her when I pull back. “Nope. No job. You go to school and that’s it. Well, you play sports and join the drama club or whatever other club you want, but that’s it.”
I get an eyebrow raise, but I just raise one back.
For a solid minute, my sister and I have a silent stand-off, challenging the other. Like always, though, I win.
Charlie rolls her eyes and gives in.
“Fine, but the second you need me to get a job, I will.”
“If it ever gets down to that, you will be the first one to know.”
My sister stares at me for another solid minute, before a smile spreads across her face and she starts bouncing up and down again. She bounces for a solid two minutes before she stops and slaps a wet kiss against my cheek.
“I love you. You are the best big sister ever.”
“I know. You’ve told me a time or two. But you make it easy being the best little sister ever.” I say to her, my smile copying hers. “Now get out of here and get to school on time. We’ll talk more when you get home about Saint Christopher.”
“Okay!”
There’s a bounce to her step as she leaves the kitchen to grab her book bag and that bounce is still there when she comes back and heads out the front door.
She looks so damn happy. I wish I could be that happy with her but the second that the door to our apartment closes, a big wave of worry washes over me.
I just told my sister that she is going to a private school that I’m sure cost more than anything I will ever own, all the while we don’t even have food in our fridge to last us until the end of the week.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
I don’t even have a full-time job for crying out loud, no stable income to even secure rent for the next three months, and yet I told her yes to a school that cost a fortune and I won’t be going back on my word.
She will be going to that school and I will do anything and everything to keep her there.
Dancing is starting look better and better by the second, I’m not going to lie.
I should look at the job boards again to see if anything new has been listed before I start picking out my stripper shoes.
Maybe the email from Lane Enterprises has finally hit my inbox.
Maybe, but I highly doubt it.
Letting out a sigh, I clean up the messy kitchen, make a list of groceries that won’t make my bank account weep and finally call the super to come and check out our dryer and shower.
Once all that is said and done, I head back to my room and throw myself on my bed.
I shouldn’t have gone back to school, even if it was an online program. I could have saved that money to pay for Saint Christopher’s instead of wasting it on a master’s degree that apparently isn’t enough to get a job in the real world.
But I wanted to be selfish for once and do something for me. Now it’s biting me in the ass.
Stop with the petty party and do something to better the situation.
Half the time my brain thinks of the stupidest shit, but right now it’s right on the mark.
With a groan, I sit up and grab my laptop.
The screen is frozen where I left it.
If I didn’t want to check if Charlie forwarded me the email from Saint Christopher while she rode the bus, I would leave the screen as is and not even touch the computer for a whole week.
Not wanting to think about it more than I already have, I hit refresh for what could be the two-hundredth time today and watch as the screen populates.
One second passes. Then two.
Five seconds after I hit the refresh button, the screen shows my inbox again but this time instead of saying no new messages, two messages pop up at the top of the screen.
One from Charlie with the forwarded acceptance email.
And another that says that its from the hiring department at Lane Enterprises.
No fucking way.
I feel my eyes budge all the while all it feels as if I stopped breathing. And that feeling intensifies when my eyes scan over the subject line.
A straight to the point subject line.
Welcome to the team.
Holy shit.
I got the job.
I got the fucking job!
My fingers can’t move fast enough as I click on the email and read through the contents of it a total of four times.
It’s an official offer.
Lane Enterprises sent me, Ella Vincent, an official offer to work at their company.
I must be dreaming.
To make sure I’m not, I pinch my thigh and when the pain radiates in the spot, I know I’m wide awake.
“Holy crap. I did it.”
Instead of jumping for joy like I did in the kitchen earlier with Charlie to celebrate, I let the few tears that are stinging my eyes, fall.
I needed this.
I didn’t want to admit it, but I really needed this job. Sure, it seems like it’s entry level, but the pay is good and the benefits are even better and if I wanted Charlie to continue to stay with me, I needed something like this to come to me.
Now it has.
I got the job.
But now, I have to make sure I’m the best damn assistant that I can be, because I cannot afford to loose it.
Especially if I want Charlie to stay under my roof and be able give her the best life that I can.