Chapter 23
Kyor tightens the clasp of the saddlebags on the mare that Caz and I have been riding.
‘We need to get going,’ he snaps the moment he sees me.
I don’t know when he came back last night or if he even slept at all, but judging from the scowl on his face, he’s definitely not over our conversation.
At least there are no sparks rising from his hands though. That’s something.
Memories of the way he looked at me before he disappeared surge through my mind, but I do all I can to quash them.
He doesn’t have the right to make me feel like I’m the one in the wrong.
Not when I would have given Kyor my everything.
I wanted to give him my everything. He’s the one who didn’t believe it was worth it – that I was worth it.
‘We’re moving out now,’ he barks again. ‘Saddle up. We’re not having a leisurely start today.’
‘Really, no breakfast?’ Benny yawns as he stretches.
‘We’ll stop for an early lunch,’ Kyor responds.
I don’t know when we decided he could start giving orders, and I’m about to tell him we can wait – just so we have time to get ourselves sorted – but as he glances back towards the line of mountains we passed through the day before, a frown creases his brows, setting off a frisson of nervousness within me.
This isn’t about me. Kyor is concerned about something else.
Worried, even. And that’s not something I’ve ever seen from him before.
Ignoring the prince’s demands to get going, Ruben ambles over to me, arms outstretched.
‘Need warming up?’ he says loudly. ‘I can make it fast. Or slow. Whatever you fancy really.’ He grins with a wicked wink.
The truth is, I’m freezing and it’s not an offer I’m going to refuse, yet I’m well aware that Kyor watches, teeth audibly grinding, as Ruben wraps his arms tightly around me.
Despite his seething, Kyor says nothing, and I don’t know if that’s a good sign or not. Maybe he’s learning to tolerate our friendship. Or maybe whatever he’s worried about is too big a distraction to bother with petty squabbles. The thought isn’t as comforting as it should be.
As I try to ignore Kyor, Ruben pulls me even closer and slowly runs his hands up and down my arms, then down to the small of my back. Normally his hugs are gentle, caring, and warming, so the way his hands ghost over my skin makes it clear he’s trying to rile the prince.
‘Ruben,’ I warn softly. ‘Don’t poke a sleeping dire wolf.’
He grins, lowers his lips to my ear, and murmurs as if he is saying something intimate to me, ‘But it’s so much fun.’
I flush a little. Ruben knows my body. Knows that the shell of my ear is sensitive. Knows that I like the whisper of warm breath on it.
And Kyor knows it too.
There is a sharp crack as the tree nearest to us is struck by lightning, and white light sears my vision for a split second.
So much for thinking he was getting over it.
‘What the hell, Kyor?’ I yell as I leap away from Ruben. ‘Was that really necessary?’
‘Stay away from her,’ he snarls at Ruben. ‘Or next time it won’t be the tree burning, but your fucking insides.’
With that, he marches off and mounts Elska, and immediately the pair stride off into the distance.
He really wasn’t joking about not waiting, and given that we need Elska’s nose to lead us through the forest, I guess we’re going now too.
My eyes catch Benny’s just as his hands begin to move, and I offer him the most withering glare I can.
Kyor may be the one with temper issues, but I swear to the Gods, if Benny makes that finger triangle again, it’ll be the last time he can move his fingers for a long time.
When I first woke, my plan was to ride with Ruben – not because I wanted to rile Kyor, but because I thought my friend might actually want the company.
With everything that’s going on, I’m aware we’ve brushed past his grief as if it’s irrelevant.
And it’s not. It’s only been a couple of days since the cloaks took his mother.
Her loss is surely on his mind, and maybe having someone to talk to about it would help.
But after Kyor’s display, I know it’s not worth making things worse, so I saddle up with Caz, making a mental note to speak with Ruben later.
It takes the three horses several minutes to catch up with Kyor and Elska, and even then, we decide to give them a wide berth.
‘How are you feeling this morning?’ Caz asks me as Benny and Ruben fall in behind us, the pair chatting away like best friends.
‘Truthfully?’ I reply.
‘Always.’
‘Like I would love a good shower. Also, I wish I’d had time to empty my bladder before Kyor threw his little tantrum and we all had to go.’
Her laugh is a tonic I desperately needed. Llin will always be the bond that brought us together, but Llin isn’t all there is to us. The last couple of days I’ve felt a shift between Caz and me, and I’m grateful I get to share in her friendship, her humour, and her kindness.
‘That’s not exactly what I meant,’ she replies.
‘I know, but it’s true.’
We continue to chat quietly, but after an hour of riding I’m struggling to concentrate. The bladder comment really wasn’t a joke, and it’s reached the point where I’m seriously uncomfortable.
‘We’re going to have to stop,’ I say to her. ‘I’ll just be one minute.’
‘I’d go into the thicket if I were you,’ Caz replies. ‘Unless you want to give the boys a show?’
She’s right. Benny and Ruben are still behind us, and so I dismount and dash into the thicket, desperate to relieve myself before they catch up.
‘I’ll move just up there,’ Caz calls. ‘There’s a clearing with better grass for the horse.’
Fortunately, I’ve just found a suitable place to crouch when the boys’ voices reach me.
‘No.’ Ruben’s tone is unusually sharp.
‘Will you lower your voice? Caz and Rose are just up ahead,’ Benny hisses back.
‘Then stop,’ Ruben bites back.
Nerves twist my stomach. These two men possess some of the sunniest personalities that I’ve ever met, and I don’t believe the tension between them is because they’re fighting for the title of most good-natured. So what’s going on?
Ruben speaks again, although at a substantially lower volume.
‘There is no way we can meet Arle with the bloody prince tagging along,’ Ruben whispers.
‘It’s fine,’ Benny leisurely assures him. ‘I’ll come up with something, a reason to split up the group.’
‘We should just go to Rowell and forget meeting Arle, like I said. The whole thing is too dangerous even without Kyor along for the ride. With him here, it’s suicide.
He’ll know who Arle is. He’s the most famous rebel out there, and if he makes the connection between the two of you, he’ll fry you like that damned tree. ’
‘I promised Arle coin, and I won’t let him down,’ Benny says firmly. ‘Even rebels need food.’
My mouth drops open, and my heart thunders in my ears.
Benny and Ruben are talking about rebels. No, they’re talking about funding the rebels.
My mind flashes to Peter – Ruben’s best friend – his eyes wide and unseeing in the moments after Mortidem took him.
My mouth is dry, my brain scrambling. I accepted that Peter was a rebel when I recognised the smoke tattoo he wore with such pride on every dead rebel at the ball, but Ruben?
There are no tattoos on his body. I would know as I’ve seen every inch of it.
And he wasn’t there that day at the palace when the rebels stormed in and killed Zelle.
But … Benny was.
I stifle a gasp that cramps my lungs as I try to draw a breath. Benny has made no bones about his dislike for King Korvane, hasn’t even attempted to hide it. But to go as far as to join the rebels? Fund the rebels? Korvane would kill him.
Fuck.
Kyor would kill him.
The rebels killed Zelle, and if Kyor finds out Benny was involved …
I feel sick. As the boys ride on, I remain crouched there, frozen.
Benny was responsible for Zelle’s death. That’s the way Kyor’s going to see it. And discussing it here? In the open? Fucking idiots. What if Kyor had heard them?
A glimmer of relief flickers. Luckily, he’s been ranging ahead, scouting a safe path for us all.
‘Rose!’ Caz calls out. ‘What are you doing in there?’
Hiding from reality, I think, only to shake away the thought.
The whole point of this trip is that hiding isn’t something I do.
Not from my own powers and not from whatever the fuck is going on here.
No, hiding is what Kyor does. What Kay did when it came to the true extent of her relationship with Hew.
Hiding the truth only makes things worse, and I’m not going to start now.
Drawing in a deep breath, I stand, pull up my knickers, and march out towards the clearing, though I don’t look at Caz. No, my eyes are focused solely on the two men on horseback.
I stalk forward, jaw clenched, eyes narrowed, letting the knowledge colour my face.
When they see me, Benny’s entire body freezes, while Ruben pales so greatly I could believe he’s wounded.
‘Shit,’ Benny mutters.
‘What?’ Caz looks between us. ‘What am I missing?’
‘Oh don’t worry. The boys were talking about dick size,’ I say flatly. ‘I think they’re embarrassed that I heard them.’ I look between them. ‘And I did hear. I heard it all. Length. Girth. Let’s just say it’s the type of discussion you can’t unhear, even if you wanted to.’
For the first time since I met him, Benny has absolutely nothing to say.