Chapter 40
My eyelids flutter open as the first rays of morning light slither in through the cracks in the walls. I’m lying in exactly the same position I fell asleep in, on my side with my head resting on Kyor’s left shoulder, with neither of us having moved so much as an inch during the night.
Nerves twist through me. No matter how good and right it felt in the moment, giving myself to Kyor like that, it wasn’t the wisest decision. Not with William’s life in the balance.
And it is.
The vision last night showed me that.
And every time I think about it, about my brother’s body condemning him, I feel nauseous. But for Kyor to know the truth and keep it from his father would be treason. And he still hasn’t told me everything either.
Maybe love without truth is the most we can ever hope for. It’s far from ideal, but maybe … maybe there’s enough love between us that we can forget about that other part. Maybe the lies don’t matter, or maybe we can at least pretend they don’t for a little while.
There’s no warmth left in the room, and my fingers are starting to go numb.
Hoping to warm them against his skin, I curl them slightly into Kyor’s side, careful not to disturb him.
Thankfully, he doesn’t move. Even when I draw my head a little closer to his neck, there’s not so much as a flicker of his eyelids. He’s perfectly asleep.
The thought forms in my mind only to be snatched by another. Surely he should have felt me move a little?
My heart hitches as my sight clears on the prince. There’s no movement at all. Not so much as the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. Just the slightest wheeze whistling from his lips. How can he make that sound without breathing?
‘Kyor?’
My gaze flies to his shoulder. The colours in the room are muted by the watery light that is still claiming the space, but muted or not, it doesn’t change what I see.
‘No. No, no, no …’ The words leave my mouth in a stream as I struggle to take another breath. The angry redness around his wound is gone. And in its place … is something far more terrifying.
Green spiderweb veins snake beneath the surface of his skin, spiralling out from the wound.
‘No!’ My head shakes and my hands tremble as I cover my mouth, trying to stop the scream from escaping. How is this possible? There was nothing there. There was nothing there!
‘Kyor, no – no, please!’ I choke out his name, the air too thin to fill my lungs. This can’t be real. How? How could I have missed it?
My mind stumbles over one thought, then another.
He wanted me to kill him. That’s what he said. If I saw the green, I had to kill him.
But how could I ever do that?
No, there has to be another way! Something that can save him. Some magic, some spell, something.
He loves me. He told me he loved me. Those can’t be the last words he ever says. They can’t be. I won’t survive it.
‘Rose?’ His voice cracks as he lies there flat on the bed, and my entire body flinches.
What am I supposed to do? I have to help him, but if he’s becoming one of those things …
My eyes flicker down to his nails. Deep green.
Filled with the same poison that fills his bloodstream.
No, no, it can’t be. Death can’t be the only choice.
There must be something I can do. But what?
‘Rose!’
His voice bellows loud enough to rattle the dilapidated roof, and I jump back, but not fast enough as he grabs me by the shoulders.
My eyes clench shut and my muscles turn rigid as my heart hammers against my ribs, so loud it’s as though it wants to tell me it’s the last sound I’m ever going to hear.
Not the shared words of love, but my own pounding heart and the sound of my name in his poisoned throat.
They’re the last sounds I’m going to hear. My last memories of him.
‘No, no, no!’ My eyes remain squeezed shut as I shake my head, feeling the pinch of his grip as he rocks me again and again.
I should have kissed him longer.
That’s all I can think as silent tears slide down my cheeks.
I should have kissed him longer.
‘Rose!’ Kyor – or the Rotting who’s taken his place – shakes me again, but I refuse to open my eyes. I refuse to let the last thing I see be the man I love turned into a monster.
The gasps of my heaving sobs fill my chest.
He’s gone and he’s going to take me with him.
I don’t want to die. I want to save William. I have to save William. But I don’t know how.
‘Rose!’ This time he shakes me with such a jolt that my eyes fly open. ‘Rose, my love, I’m here. You’re okay now.’
I blink. And blink again. Kyor’s face stares at me, ashen with fear.
‘It was a dream, Rose.’ He runs his hands down the side of my cheek, and my eyes clench closed again. It’s all I can do not to scream. ‘It was a dream. Look at me. Look at me, Rose. I need you to see me. It was a dream, just a bad dream, but it’s over now. I promise you. It was just a dream.’
I want to believe him, but the adrenaline that surges through me is all too real. How could a dream cause that?
I’m shaking, trembling, and my breaths are coming in huge, gaping sobs.
‘Rose, please, love. You’re okay.’
In the only movement I can manage, I open my eyes and look down to his right shoulder. A stifled cry catches in my throat.
It’s gone.
The green veins have gone, and the rawness of the wound has returned.
It was a dream. Just a Godsdamn dream. A nightmare.
‘I thought …’ I hiccup. ‘I thought …’
‘It’s okay now.’ He doesn’t need me to explain as he pulls me into his chest. My skin is soaked. With sweat? With tears? Who knows.
‘It was so real,’ I whisper. ‘It was so … You were so—’ I mumble, struggling to find the words.
‘It’s okay,’ he repeats, his hand threading through my hair, smoothing the braid he somehow managed with his wounded arm. ‘I’ve got you. You’re okay. Everything’s okay.’ His murmuring continues as my sobs stutter and start. ‘Everything’s okay.’
‘We’re not, though, are we?’ I say, pulling away from him. ‘You nearly died.’
‘But I didn’t. I’m here.’
‘This time. This time.’
He plants a kiss upon my forehead, but I shake my head, trying to push the images of the nightmare away from me. A nightmare this time, but who knows when it will be more than that.
‘Thorn, we’ve made it through some pretty shit things before, right? You’re a warrior. A survivor. You dove into the water with a fucking kraken. No hesitation. The Myrkr should be afraid of you.’
My dry laugh cracks into the quiet. ‘Thank you,’ I murmur as the hysteria finally begins to fade. ‘Thank you for this.’
His hand brushes against my cheek, his thumb skimming my bottom lip as softly as a feather. A whimper I have no control over breaks loose into the air, and I see the flash in his eyes.
Not a distraction. That’s what we promised each other, and yet never have I wanted his distraction more. My heart aches as I try to quash the memory of us only hours before. Of his body on mine.
‘I thought I’d lost you,’ I whisper, running my fingers around the tender skin of his wound. If my touch hurts, he doesn’t show it. Not so much as a flinch.
‘Never,’ he whispers back, planting a kiss on the top of my head. ‘Inevitable, remember?’
Are we? In this moment, as the shards of light brighten over the contours of his body, I feel like we are. Like the Gods keep pushing us together.
And yet, I know better than most the twisted games the Gods play.
The slightest hint of his static cascades across my skin. It’s so faint it’s barely perceptible, and yet I know it’s him. Toying with me.
Slowly, he lies back down, taking me with him, but as my eyes hold his fast, I realise I’m so close to him that he’s squashed up against the wall.
‘I should give you some space,’ I whisper.
He chuckles sadly. ‘When have I ever wanted space from you, Thorn?’
His eyes are unblinking as his lips hover by mine. Butterflies swarm in my stomach as I wait for him to move. Wait for the kiss my body yearns for. And yet it doesn’t come. Does he think I regret what happened?
Do I regret it?
No.
No. Because I’m starting to think he’s right. That we really are inevitable.
‘We should get a little more sleep,’ I say, but I still don’t move, my lips remaining just a whisper away from him.
‘If that’s what you need,’ his voice rumbles. ‘It’s probably best.’
‘Probably,’ I whisper back.
But a moment later, his mouth is on mine and all thoughts of sleep are forgotten.